The roar. Anywhere i'd be, it sounds as loud and close as always, in fact, each time i hear it, it's closer. And always when i'm least expecting. i look after Sarah's bus, but i can't see it anymore. i don't like it alone, but i can't expose Sarah to what is happening to me either. i just want to be done with all these problems already. i want to be done with the tower, the monster, Him. And be left with just me, and her.
i have to do research about the tomb, the cemetery's history and all i can find about the cult, religious organization, hidden community, or whatever that is. i have to search also about Light and Darkness and the Tower of Babel and the tower from now. The best would be to go to the National Library, there i'm sure to find something. i remember that i've been before to the same library, it was recently, but when…when i was in a coma. i was there to write.
The book! i remember that i had a hole in the story, i forgot to write something important. Something about…the letter…that the boy gets from his father, that he reads in front of the royal council. i didn't write this in the novel, how did i knew that when i was in a coma? All that happened in that coma, didn't actually happen, it was just a dream but still, i read the letter from my agent and he told me about the problem. But i don't know if i got the letter also in reality. i have to talk with my agent.
i got to the library. Near the entrance, at the bottom of the stairs i see a bum, he has a cardboard sign which has written: 'Stop the construction!'. The bum was looking menacingly at all the people that were entering the library, and was yelling.
"Stop the construction of the tower, get out to protest! They'll destroy us all! All our knowledge is thrown in that tower. They rob you of your information!"
i get inside the library and go to the department of special collections. There i find a woman and ask her about old documents, anything about Brașov and about the first people in that area. Through the shelves i start to see the years written on each, i already kind of know where to go to search about it.
"I'm sorry but we don't have it. Our collection is in process of relocation."
i look at the shelves, they do seem kind of empty, but these are just the ones near the room's entrance. i go towards the end of the room and notice that there aren't any more books or manuscripts left at all. Where are they moved?
"In the tower. It will have its own library with all the knowledge gathered by humankind until now."
"And the other departments?"
"They are also going through this relocation process, maybe you'll find something if you go now, but the majority of the books were already moved. But we still have the electronic books library."
i thank the lady and search for a PC that i could sit at, i don't go through the online catalogue much, i don't find anything that could help me, and it's also complicated to search through it given the fact that i don't know exactly what i'm looking for.
i walk around the library through random departments, but i see the same thing everywhere, empty shelves and emptier halls. i get out. Go down the stairs from the entrance, and at the bottom of them, i notice that the homeless guy wasn't there anymore. Further from the stairs i see a group of protesters, formed only of homeless people. Near the group i see a police vehicle and two cops that were standing outside. In the bum's place was left just the piece of cardboard, but now there's nothing written on it, it's just an arrow. Arrow that it's pointed somewhere behind the library and towards the river.
i go around the library, through a big shaded and desolate garden and towards the river. As i get close to the stone wall that leads to the water side, i notice a bush is moving. There's a man inside, or that's what i think by the shape of the shadow i see. A bum jumps out of the bush, looks at me with a lost, panicked, animalistic, look and dashes towards me. The bum grabs my hand, without me having even a chance to do anything against it, and starts running, dragging me behind him.
"you must come with me."
i try to grab his hand with my other hand, and open his grasp, but i don't manage to. He's too strong and the harder i try, the stronger he grips. my wrist hurts so bad, and my bones feel like they are pressed against each other, and they move so wrong. i have nothing else to do but run along with him, i can't slow down or stop, because i'll fall down and if i'm down or on my feet, i don't think it will matter for him. i try to keep close as much as i can, even though a big part of my speed i have is because he's pulling me.
Ahead of us i see a bush, tall, the bum runs towards it and straight in, we go together through leaves and branches which scratch my face and hands. The bum just continues running until we get to an open manhole. i don't get to look at the man's face to read his intention that he is already in a dive, he goes down through the manhole opening and with him, i.
We don't stay much in this fall that i hear the bum hitting water and shortly after, i get immersed to. i'm hurt, from the hits on the sewer's walls and other pipes that i took head on while falling. In this sewage water, i feel how my wounds and cuts are bleeding and i know exactly where i'm hurt, it stings badly. But this sensation that my open wounds are getting in contact with this sewer terrible wastewater…i already feel infected, like something irrevocably got into me, and i'm soon about to die. Horribly. It's sure i won't live much after. Any viruses, diseases, infections were in this water, i already took them all. Pulled down still, the water starts going with pressure through my nose and into my sinuses. i don't get to even hold my breath because of this pressure from his fast plunge. i start coughing and then wastewater liquid gets into my mouth and then i start drowning. i can't breathe and my brain is telling me so bad to do it.
We stop, the bum still holding my hand, with the other i start touching the side walls. Everywhere i feel concrete walls, except in front of me. There seems to be a huge hole ahead. One meter by one meter or so, enough for me to go through it. The water is not sucked into the hole at all, which means it leads to a place also submerged in water. i'll have to hold my breath for so much longer. Everything is so still around me. Even the bubbles and the water that was so agitated before, in all the commotion, is now still. Just my hand is still moving, struggling, the bum releases my hand.
i don't know what he's doing, i can barely see in front of my eyes, but to see what he's doing. But this is my shot. i push my feet against the wall behind me and plunge forward into the hole, starting to swim fast and frenetically as i'm running out of consciousness. i hear a metallic sound, heavy. And as i'm swimming forward, i feel the water moving, faster and faster, being sucked behind me, and then i hear a loud noise, something huge, heavy, it sounds like this huge metallic beam keeps bending under the weight of the water. The sound doesn't stop and is instantly consumed by the roar.
The water is suddenly sucked behind me, and it takes me with. i get sucked back and then down, going brutally fast. i get just a bit of air. i can finally breathe, but then i'm smashed into something hard, ground, cement. The water is still flowing with power over my head and upper body, hard enough to keep my body stuck to the floor. i roll away from this cascade that formed above me and was crushing me.
The room i'm in now is fully made out of cement. And is all blue. As if lit by a dark blue neon. my eyes are stinging from this wastewater in combination with this burning blue light. i close my eyes and start wiping them. Then i look down and open them. On the floor there's still water, almost four fingers of depth but it is draining fast. To my right there is a leakage hole with a grid panel. Trickles and drops of water continue falling near me, but not as hard as before, the water ran out.
i get up and start looking around. Even the floor is made of cement, it has different colours, it has moss grown from cracks and some erosion forms. Especially where i fell, the floor has a little valley form with a deeper hole in the middle with small ditches that lead to the drainage.
Three walls are covered by carpets, the ones you find only in the countryside, in old houses. Carpets with different images embroidered. And the fourth wall is uncovered, made of some cheap, broken cement, an eroded material, consumed and of darker colour.
The images, the drawings are made in some old style, like the ones made in the prehistorical period by the Neanderthals, on one of the carpets. Other carpet has a Renaissance style, modern. And the third carpet was made in an abstract, neo modernism style. All walls are crossed by this blue line that lights up intensely and bright. The only source of light in here, which is enough to fill the entire room.
The first carpet is the abstract one, all is lively coloured but mostly prevailed the black of the space. The forms of these lively animated drawings represent comets, stars, planets, galaxies, some that are colliding, others that are dying or conquered by black holes. All starts with a collision between white and black, light and darkness, and from this collision results this thread of blue light. Thread that goes through a sun and a moon and a flat planet, and then continues through the vast and infinite space.
But the space is not empty. The planets are not uninhabited. i get closer to the first carpet, all the details are so impressive that just the fact that i got closer one meter to the carpet, makes it so i can see the population of a planet, planet that on the carpet has the size of a grain of pepper. As closer as i get, as much more i can see. i can see each individual, each stone on that planet, each blade of grass. So incredible. And nowhere the fibres of the carpet can be seen, as much as i try to get closer.
Towards the end of the carpet, i start noticing other things in space, spaceships, space stations, some bigger than some planets, and civilizations completely different from the human one. Some that are still not yet technologically advanced and still hunt by spear, animals completely different from what we have on earth, and others that are so advanced technologically that i don't know what i'm looking at.
And in the end, at the edge of the carpet, i see a small planet, of green-blue colours, floating alone in the space, far from all the insane stuff i saw all over the carpet. The blue line goes through the planet and takes the shape of the waters, and then continues off the planet and on the other carpet.
i get away from the first carpet and look at the one on my right. It's the one drawn in some kind of prehistoric style, drawings that look like the ones discovered on the walls of the caves, made probably by the first humans on the earth. i see people hunting animals, people inventing different objects, weapons, tools. i see people killing people, and others that raise tents, cabins, buildings, towers, the tower. It's the Tower of Babel, it's in construction in one image and in the other is already constructed. From that tower leaks out this blue ray, this river that sprinkles the whole planet and the drops bring but only destruction. Death. And then rebirth. And this river guides me further. To the next carpet.
The next one, the last carpet is made in some Renaissance style with hints of contemporary style. The evolution of technology can be seen, and the evolution of humans. The formation of society, a group of people that work together. And then all is destroyed by what seems to be wars. There can only be seen the consequences of these wars and the results of these mass destructions. An entire era of destructions and creations. The balance is equilibrated because this river, that is now bifurcated from all of the creations and destructions, flows on both trays of the scale. All is perfectly balanced until the balance starts leaning just on one side, dragged by the weight of the blue river is pulled down only the tray of creation. Present.
The river leaves off the carpet from the bottom side, falling off the balance tray straight on the cement floor, and it leaks and trickles on the edge between the wall and the floor until it reaches the corner, then continues on the other wall, the fourth one, the empty one, and it hits an obstacle. This river, blue of energy, encounters the bum, but it doesn't stop. This river climbs the leg of the bum, trickles in between his legs, on his belly, and up. The river defies the laws of nature and climbs the chest of the bum, on his neck, on his face, until it reaches the crown of his head. The river hits the fourth uncovered, naked, wall and climbs it fiercely and without care of what it has to do to reach it. It climbs the wall up until it reaches the planet.
The fourth wall, the last one. The only one without a carpet, still, the cement has thousands of small imperfections, some sparking, some darker, making them look like stars on a dark background. The only thing that is presented here is the planet earth, big and in the middle of the wall. The earth is presented as a circle formed by moss that grew through the cement, and dried mud representing the waters. The moss that represents the land is also dried, dying. The whole planet seems like it's dying. Despite the fact that there is a blue bright energy river that flows through it. This river of energy is drained, in fact sucked, from the earth, through the tower. The huge tower that starts at the left lower corner of the wall and stops at the right upper corner of the wall. And in the middle of this tower, is the earth impaled, like an apple on stick, a rotten apple on a rotting stick. The balance has tipped to destruction now.
The energy river is released by the tower like a sprinkler, and it drips down the wall, back on the floor, and continues flowing towards the middle of the room, straight into the drain. The entire room is lit by this river, least the bum, his face even though traversed by this river, remains dark.
A strong smell starts embracing me. i quickly put my hands to my nose, this smell is making me dizzy. It seems to come from the bum. It's the same smell from the tomb, from the dungeons below. But this time, the smell is excessively harsh and rough, my nostrils are burning, i feel particles of this smell entering my nose and throat, i feel them laying on and covering my lungs and my internal organs. The sharp smell, where do i know it from? It's familiar, very familiar. And the memory that connects me to it, seems to be forever lost. i feel empty and without an important, imperative part of my history, part that i'll hate every time i'll re-encounter this smell.
i hear a lighter. Again, the little wheel scratching loud, like is coming from an overly sized zippo. Again, but this time it brings a spark with it. Just in here, the light travels slower than the sound. For a moment, the bum's face was lit. Again, spark. i hear the lighter so clearly as if it's scratching the wheel right against my eardrum. The sparks are strong, powerful, bright, but i can barely see the room after one of these sparks lights it up. The silence settles on us. The sound, the spark, and then the flame. The face of the bum, it's different, it's…
*
i…i…it hurts so mad, my chest is pumped brutally, all the water now comes out from my mouth, from my throat, from my lungs. i cough. And it still comes out. i don't get a moment to get some air in, i still cough water out, and my throat is irritated and hurting. i feel warm water leaking from my nose slowly. i'm on a cement block, propped on my hands, under me there's a huge puddle of water. Around it it's dry. It's from me all this water?
"Cough some more, c'mon, until you get it all out."
i feel a pat, a hard pat on my back. i raise my head and look behind me. It's an old man, moustache, fishing hat, vest with many pockets. i keep coughing, but i get up on my feet. my whole world is still moving and unstable, i lean on the cement wall on the side to not fall and keep coughing. The fisher isn't alone, with him, there are two other guys, dressed simple, people that seem to be from the countryside. i try to say something, but the coughing stops me.
"Calm down. you're alive now. A few seconds ago, you weren't."
i look at the guy talking, the shortest of them all, he has a proud smirk. He looks at his friend to his right.
"If Ion hadn't pulled you out of the river, nobody would've."
The man that brought me back on land, was two heads taller than the one speaking. He was also broader and sturdier. His clothes were also wet but he wasn't out of breath, or even breathing like he did some demanding effort.
"And not to mention Marin here."
He looks to his left now.
"He knew how to give you first aid, his wife is a nurse at the Municipal."
The man with the moustache was the one that got me back to the land of the living. He seems like a simple man, dirty on his face, fat hands and fingers, worked his entire life, red face burnt from the sun that was watching over him all those years he worked. His clothes were of great quality, not cheap, and well kept.
"I'm Daniel. What's your name?"
"i…?"
Why is he so interested in what's my name? i look at those three men, i don't like their presence at all. i don't feel good here. Over their head a small bird passes in an arched trajectory, thought it was a meteorite or falling star.
"Whatever, it doesn't matter, we'll make acquaintance later. Sit here with us until you dry up, get something in your stomach. Besides water. We have sandwiches with roe and salami and lots of other goods."
i look at the sandwich box and then at the buckets in which lots of fish of different sizes were swimming.
"Don't worry, the roe is fresh, but not that fresh. Please, treat yourself."
i look at what the three men have with them. Near the exterior wall, same one i'm leaning on, i see a cooler bag, two fishing chairs, some bags and fishing rods. More pouches with bait laying on the ground and a rod support. No rod in the support, all are thrown on the ground, probably they pulled them out when they saw me in the water.
The short man goes to the cooler box and takes out a different type of sandwich covered in paper towels. i'm not hungry, i can't eat anything. The others keep looking at me, staring as if they are waiting to see what i'm about to do next, as if they really want me to eat the sandwich.
"Here, take it. you need it. This one it's vegan, if you don't like the other meaty options."
"i don't want to."
"C'mon, don't be shy, we have enough food at us. Eat. If you don't eat…"
i quickly get up on the exterior wall, jump on the other side and run. i'm close to the library, i didn't got too far from it in my unconscious drift. But i don't understand how i…where i went. What just happened?
i just remember that i saw, i think a bum, or just a human shape, in the bushes, and a shadow of a bum, and a flame and…
i keep running the full length of the boulevard, and when i get at the end of it, wait at the light, cross over on green, and continue running. i'm crazy. Or at least that's how i look now, a man that is running, wet from head to toes, in the middle of the city, in a clear day, even a scorcher at it. Well…I do get some stares of envy.
i run but i don't know what to do, i don't understand what is happening with me, i just want to run from it all. To escape it. Get rid of it. i don't want to ever stop from running. i know that the very moment i stop from running, all will be the same, but if i keep going…maybe i escape.
i pass the Unirii Square and reach the Cocor Store. On the five huge screens that are stuck on the side of the store i see a telephone number and the message: 'Donations for the tower'. If the tower is already finished why do they need donations? Further more, at the entrance of the store, i see a man holding a notebook, that kind of future tech notebook i saw in the tower's core. He is stopping everybody that he sees. Some pass, others just don't pay attention to him, but the majority of people stop and hear what he has to say, take out money and give to him, which in exchange gives back a ticket.
i get close to the man to have him approach me too, but before i get in front of him, i'm pulled away by my hand by someone. i turn around, it's a man, in suit, gloves on his hand and a chauffeur's hat. But nothing under. It's His driver. The man made out of clothes searches through his pockets and pulls out a token of some kind, a silver one, and places it in my hand that he was still holding. Then he comes closer to me with his floating hat.
"you don't need what that man has to offer. This coin will show you the way, but just when you're ready. Don't forget you have it and don't let it go."
i look at the token, it's simple, on both sides, nothing engraved, not one drawing, but it seems harder than it looks, as if it's made of gold or silver. It shines sometimes like silver, and the texture feels like it doesn't look. Also the colour is off, faded, but sometimes that shine appears. i turn back to the driver. It's gone. i don't know what to do with this token. i put it in my pocket and continue going.
"It's magic!"
i hear something…someone that i…
"Donations for the tower construction?"
The man with the donations grabbed me and asked, in a very needy way.
"No, thank you…"
"Don't say no, it's for a good cause, and you get an order ticket to enter the tower when it will be open for public."
"i'm sorry but i have no money on me."
"There's no need. Even a silver coin would help so much."
i'm scared of what he'd do to me if i donate away the coin he just gave me now. And what He'd do too…
"No. Leave me alone."
i get away from the man and look around, i'm looking for His driver. The donations guy stops and then goes after another target.
i…i don't want to go back home now… i'll keep walking. i want to do something about this hole, this void that i feel in my stomach. i want to fill it, to stop this ache. But if i'd eat something now, i know i'd puke it out instantly. i can't eat at all, i'm not hungry even, i don't need food. Why can't i eat?! And why does it hurt so bad? And what was that my grandma used to say?!
i pass by pizzerias, kebab places, fast food shops, i see all kinds of food, healthy, unhealthy, burgers, sandwiches, salads, fruits, cakes, all of it. And nothing gives me an appetite, or the least craving, mood to eat, at least the need to put something in me… i don't want to force myself to eat just so i can get rid of this discomfort, on the border to pain. i'll get really hungry at some point, i'll want something to eat soon enough. No problem…
i continue going further. This walk does good for me. i'm stretching my legs and muscles after the accident, after the coma. i'm more relaxed now, alone on the street, without anybody to bother me. Maybe some idea will come at some point, but i don't want to actively think about this, i'm not going to think about anything. An idea will surely present itself to me.
i pass the Intercontinental, i pass the Romană Square, and continue to walk. i've been walking for over half an hour now, without any direction but ahead, but i'm not tired and i don't want to stop either. No idea yet. i don't know… If i go to Brașov, the tower, i don't think i can enter it, and from the cemetery i don't think there's any new information i can get. In any other place i don't know where to look, and help i don't have who to ask for. i feel like i'm trying to solve a puzzle, but i have no beginning, no action that i could do, no idea that i can use.
After walking some more, i feel my legs starting to beg me for a pause. i stop. On my left i notice a small security cabin made of PVC, with two guards that were standing near it talking quietly. The house they're guarding, is big and very old, covered by moss and vegetation, the yard is unkempt. What are they guarding here? i get out from under the shade of the tree and notice that the roof of the house has the shape of a dome, a semi spherical metal dome covering the small tower. A semi sphere cut in the half, where there is an opening. It's an observatory, an old one, rusty and very shabby.
i get closer to the guard house and see the entrance gate that leads to the stairs. And at the end of the stairs is a wooden door, old, with peeled off green paint. There is a big poster stuck on the door, i don't see what it says. i enter through the gate, looking at the guards to see if they say something of my presence, but it seems that i'm not trespassing. They are not at all bothered by me. i go up the stairs and look at the poster.
'Come to our kids' show at the Astronomical Observatory, a comic and cosmic story will unfold in front of you, a story about Moon, the girl that did all in her power to reunite her parents, she even broke some sacred rules and promises. This story will explain the problems between parents, fights, divorce, and your child will leave here without believing it's his or her fault for the breakup.'
Wow. A story for kids that have divorced parents. To help them get over this thing. With an astronomic theme. i wouldn't have thought something like this could be possible. On the poster are more details written, and the time and day of the event. Today, at six o'clock in the evening. i look at my phone, it's almost one afternoon. Five more hours. It sounds interesting this show, but it's not important at all for me. i turn around and go down the stairs. A mum came to read the poster too, her son was standing near the gate, waiting for her. He wasn't older than 10. i pass by him, but he extends his hand in front of me to stop me. He looks at me then.
"Wait! How did you feel? In the night of your transformation?"
It scares me, the question of the child, i don't know what he's referring to or if he's even talking to me, or if he's serious or just crazy… i make another step and hear a sound as if i stepped on a dry leaf, but i feel something on my sole, it feels like it was something bigger. i raise my foot and see a stag beetle, pretty big one, it was squashed on the asphalt and on my sole. It had all its juice squeezed out of it, and a piece of the intestines was leaking out of the hole i made in its shell. Shell that's broken in hundred of pieces.
i'm so sorry for it, i didn't want to crush it.
"Dammit."
The kid yells and jumps back from me, disgusted by the crushed bug, then he looks at me.
"Again?!"
What does he mean? The two guards come too, quickly, to me to look at the accident. Probably alarmed by the kid's cry.
"you killed it. Bravo! We've tried these past weeks to kill it. We've kept seeing it wandering around here in the garden, and there are some kids that come to play in this garden, and it's very dangerous for them to get in touch with a beetle, and one so big…"
"Good job boy, you've saved us from a lot of work."
Both guards are congratulating me, one of them even took my hand to shake it. i don't understand, why am i so glorified, just because i stepped on an insect. i get my hand out from his shake and leave. The stag beetle is an inoffensive insect, one that is endangered as i remember. And they were rejoicing as if they just got rid of a venomous snake.
i feel bad, pathetic, weak, because i crushed the beetle, the way it felt on my sole, and the sound of not dry leaf, but of something being crushed, killed… i squashed that poor thing. Despite the fact that the shell was trying to put up a fight, to protect the insect, it cracked and gave in instantly. It was overwhelmed and overpowered by strength that was beyond its imagination until then. And then, right after, i was glorified because i couldn't just look where i was walking. What a strange, fucked up sensation.
The clouds that were offering from time to time some protection, are gone completely, and now the sun is burning with hate above us. People are fewer on the streets, all have hidden in terraces and shops, all have run from this insane scorcher, and the ones left on the street look like they are one step away from passing out. And i, feel like i'm a step away from passing out. It's so hot, i don't think there is a place hotter on this world right now. i feel suddenly spent, worn out, overheating, and barely able to breathe. If i don't eat something now i'll die, if i don't get hydrated now, and don't take a breather somewhere at shade…i'll die.
A nice smell takes me by surprise, me who wasn't impressed by all the delicious foods i passed by today. It smells of, eggs i think, yes, and something else, also fried, sausages. Mmmm. Omelette with sausages. i try to wake up from this numbness i'm in, so i could start on the search of the source of this smell. But i make the first step, and the second one, and my stomach hurts with each step i make, the walls of the stomach are grinding onto each other, and i feel that emptiness that makes me sick, the friction inside. i don't even think i could vomit, i wouldn't have what to, but i feel like i'm about to.
The smell brings me to a small path between a building and a tall brick wall. The alley is very narrow and very dark from the shadow of the trees that dominate the space above me. i walk on this alley and continue to follow the smell.