tgfSerenah couldn't believe it. She had spent the whole week as Romeo's girlfriend and enjoyed every minute of it. He was courteous before but now he was even more attentive and attuned to her feelings. It felt like he had known her for a long time. Normally, she would have panicked at having such thoughts about a person.
However, that wasn't the case with Romeo. It all seemed natural and not frightening at all. The hardest part for her was being affectionate. Romeo liked to hold hands and when he could get away with it, snuggling. The first time he had done it hadn't gone well.
She sighed as she thought back on that moment.
~***~
[Earlier in the week, Wednesday]
Serenah couldn't keep the smile off her face. It was now Wednesday and the third day of her officially dating Romeo. Surreal. That was the word to describe her happiness. Every day she held hands with him and sat closer to him. Being in his presence made her heart race and her feelings tumble about. And his smile…it made her stomach tighten but in a good way.
She knew what these feelings were thanks to the human romance novels she had read. This was that emotion called romantic love. Romeo was the first and only male she had felt this way about. Before him, if another guy had said the things to her that Romeo did, she would have turned him away or run for the hills. She wasn't like her promiscuous twin. Amanah would bed any man she could take advantage of. Once she was through with them, they were discarded. If they were a possible future threat, she would kill them.
A shudder ran through Serenah. Just the thought of taking a life made her soul sick. She didn't have it in her to physically hurt someone or to outright take a life. The healer in her recoiled at such ideas. She also felt that if she ever did, Autem would severely punish her for it.
"Sera!"
She turned and grinned at Romeo. He jogged over to her and took her hand, gently caressing it. She smiled and squeezed his hand in response. She didn't want this feeling of joy to go away.
"Let's go eat."
"Alright." She laughed at his infectious grin and allowed herself to be led to the cafeteria.
They grabbed their food and joined the others at their usual spot. They were halfway through their meal when Romeo surprised her when his arms wrapped around her, and he nuzzled her neck. She yelped and lunged forward, shocking Romeo and their friends.
Alastar jumped to his feet, ran around the table, and snatched her from Romeo's arms. He glared at Romeo who was looking at Serenah with a frown.
Her heart was racing in fear. The sensation of being captured had triggered some unpleasant memories but she couldn't seem to get her mouth to work to even explain the problem.
"Sera? If I hurt you, I'm sorry."
Romeo's sorrowful tone and remorseful expression pierced her soul.
"I," she didn't get to finish before Alastar interrupted her.
"She's fine. We'll see you fifth period."
Serenah didn't fight Alastar as he dragged her out of the cafeteria and outside. He kept going until they were alone. He released her wrist. Absently she rubbed it. She'd have bruises for sure.
"You didn't have to do that," she said softly, her eyes downcast. She could feel his worry and anger.
"I told you, dating him is a bad idea. He is human and we're not from this realm. He will never understand your home life nor the reasons you react a certain way to things."
Tears prickled in her eyes. Alastar was right but she didn't want to let Romeo go. He was one of the few things good in her life. She knew he felt the same way about her. Maybe she could tell him a partial truth as to why she feared being touched that way.
"I'm going to tell him."
She saw Alastar stiffen and then glare at her.
"What?" his tone was dangerous.
She knew that tone. It was the one he got when he was fed up with her behavior and would take control of a situation for her own good. She shook her head. She didn't want him to do that. No, she was almost an adult. She needed to solve her own problems.
"I will tell him but only some of the truth. He deserves that much," she replied, stubbornly lifting her head to stare Alastar down.
His gaze was searching and after a moment he huffed. "Fine. But when this backfires, do not come crying to me."
She couldn't understand why Alastar was being so harsh. It hurt her to hear him speak to her that way. She nodded, too afraid of breaking down in front of him.
"Let's go."
Meekly she followed behind him as they went to fifth period. She slipped Romeo a note telling him she would call him after school and explain about lunch. He smiled at her, squeezed her hand, and mouthed "okay."
She spent the rest of the day being nervous. She went over and over in her head what she was going to tell him. She couldn't tell him too much. She would tell him a little. Just enough to explain why his snuggling her had been a panic trigger.
It took her two hours after she got home to build up her courage to call Romeo. She nervously sat and listened to the phone ringing. She gasped when he picked up on the third ring.
"Hiya, Sera."
"Hi," she stammered and cursed her nerves which made her words come out as a squeak.
"You okay?"
His kind tone stabbed her conscience. She wished he was like her. She wished she could be completely honest. She wished….
"No," she admitted after a long pause.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I," her mouth felt dry. She had to force her next words out. "I'm sorry about lunch. I owe you an explanation."
"Sera,"
"No," she interrupted. "Please let me get it all out before you say anything. Please?"
"Alright. Mum is the word."
She waited until he stopped talking to take a breath and launch into the reason she had panicked at his display of affection.
"As you know, my twin and I are not on the best of terms." She smiled when she heard his disgusted snort at the mention of her sister.
"We weren't always like this. When we were little we got along rather well. Then our mother died, and our father changed. So did my sister." She flinched as she thought how much they had changed.
"Suddenly, my twin was aggressive and cruel. I tried to understand and to please her. Nothing worked. One day after we turned eight everything became worse. My sister, who was doing better than me in almost everything, lost a game of chess to me. Our private teacher complimented me, and my sister was enraged."
Serenah abruptly stopped. The pain of the memory choked her. It became one of the worst days of her life.
"Sera. You don't have to continue. It's okay."
"No, let me finish, please." She forced her feelings aside and continued. "My sister was sneaky about getting back at me. She said she wanted to hug me. Once I was in her arms and getting my hug, she grabbed my hair, yanked my head back, and bit me so hard on the neck that it bled, and my collarbone was showing."
Romeo's gasp and then growl of rage filled the phone. "That bitch! What the hell! Sera, please tell me you got her back."
Her heart warmed at Romeo's defense of her past self. She shook her head and answered him.
"No, I screamed, burst into tears, and tried to get away from her. I pushed her and she let go, laughing at my pain. Ever since then, I've avoided hugging anyone. It makes me very anxious."
"I understand. How about this? We take it slow. If what I'm doing scares you, makes you uncomfortable, or you don't want to do it, tell me. I will put it on my list of things to avoid. I want you to be happy and comfortable with me. I will never force you to do things you don't want or are not ready for."
Tears pricked Serenah's eyes, and she sniffled. No one treated her with this much respect and love. For so long, she was the unwanted and hated one. Though she had never done anything to deserve those titles, she was still labeled as such and treated accordingly.
"Thank you," she whispered. "I want to touch you, and I want you to do that with me. Slow is good, though. I don't want to be afraid to be in your arms."
"I know. I feel the same. It's fine. We'll go at your pace, Sera."
She wiped away a tear that escaped. He was making her so emotional. "I'd better get off here and do my homework. It won't do itself."
Romeo laughed. "Agreed. I'll see you tomorrow, Sera."
"Bye, Romeo." Serenah ended the call and went to her bed.
She lay there, her mind on the conversation with Romeo. She wanted to trust him. Her past was interfering with it. Dare she give her heart to him? Would he keep it safe, or would he be like her family and turn on her? She didn't know what to do. A small part of her urged her to follow her heart and believe in Romeo.
She sighed. She shoved her rambling thoughts aside. She needed to finish her homework.