"There are three key reasons to maintain good self-care. Number one being that it improves not only your physical well-being, but it also improves your mental health as well. It keeps you refreshed and feeling good about yourself, important things when maintaining high confidence and self-esteem. The second reason is that it builds a healthy lifestyle and healthy methods for facing challenges in your life. The third is that it keeps you in good health. Maintaining regular and consistent practices in self-care is essential in maintaining a healthy lifestyle." I finished the long speech and looked up at Ms. Jackson for approval.
"That all?" She asked, staring at me with a grave expression. She had her arms crossed and was standing by my bed. I looked up at her with a bit of confusion when she asked that.
"You asked for me to prepare a list of three reasons why self-care is important and should be done consistently. You made it specific that each point on the list had to be a complete thought and not just a singular term. I think I did all of that in my response."
Miss Jackson nodded. "You did." I tilted my head, not understanding. If I did everything, then why did she sound and look so discontent? "However, shouldn't you strive to go above and beyond the requirements?" If you want to show proficiency and true understanding of a topic, shouldn't you strive to go as in-depth as possible?"
I gave her a blank stare for a few moments. "But can't you show that same proficient understanding by summarizing a vast topic in a few sentences and still conveying the same understanding?" I gave my counterargument and immediately regretted it, because Ms. Jackson was giving me a beyond dark smile.
"Is that backtalk I hear? From a patient? On the topic of self-care."
"Hold on, Ma'am, I didn't mean to—" I tried to plead, but at that point my fate had already been sealed.
"By the time I'm back here tomorrow, I want you to have prepared an in-depth speech on not only the importance of self-care but also the many different methods that you use and what you need to do to actually take care of yourself. I want it all from the top of your head, memorized, with not a single mistake. Along with that fact, I'll also be grading you on your speaking skills. You must maintain eye contact with me the entire time, and you must speak confidently, without stuttering. Understood?"
I just sat in silence after having been given my death sentence. Good on you, Raiden, for not shutting your goddamn mouth.
"Ms. Jackson. Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" I pleaded in one more desperate attempt, in hopes that my punishment would be lessened in any way. I even put on my best pair of puppy dog eyes. Unfortunately for me, it was to no avail, as Ms. Jackson's smile only widened as she completely shot me down.
"There's nothing harsh when it comes to the care of my patients."
After receiving my execution date and method from the woman who calls herself a nurse, I stepped out of my room and began a long walk down the hallway. I passed by an abundance of people, a majority of them people there to visit their loved ones. It reflected the state that many areas had been left in after The Spark. Hurt and healing. Thankfully, this hospital was one that only housed mages. I had heard words that the anti-mage protest around the world had grown beyond just violent and had become genuine rebellions that required the intervention of the mages association and even the military itself.
How would I have even handled something like that? I remembered what had happened to Kami. That day she had come back crying and with a bruise on her face because of the conflict that had been brewing between mages and non-mages. If it ever comes to a situation like that, would it be possible to avoid any sort of conflict?
Those were the questions that ate away at my mind as I turned a corner and opened up a door. I was led into a large, bright room with a lot of empty space and sparse decorations like couches and colorful blocks all throughout. In the center of the room, a female doctor with long brown hair and glasses stood with a clipboard, analyzing Erika, who was sitting on the kiddy chair in front of her. She was on the shorter side, around 5'4 or 5'5, and it made the long white doctor's coat she wore appear even larger than it should.
Even as Erika sat in the chair that was clearly created for someone almost 10 years younger than her, she was still eye level with her.
"So, tell me, how does it feel?" She asked in a chipper voice.
"Fine—"
"Do you feel any major resistance to the flow of mana in your body?" She barely gave her a chance to answer before she fired off her next question, continuously scribbling down on her clipboard.
"No, not particula-"
"How about when you try to process magic sequences? Do you feel any hiccups in the process? Do the sequences ever fail on you?"
"No—"
"All good! Everything seems to be fine in terms of your mana circuits and your ability to process magic sequences!" She quickly finished scribbling something down before ripping a piece of the paper she was writing on and handing it to Masayoshi. "Hand this to your doctor, then come back tomorrow for your final check so you can be cleared to continue learning at Theta Magic Academy once more! Any questions?"
"Well, there i-"
"None! Alright then! See you tomorrow then, Erika!" After being completely overwhelmed in the conversation, Erika was abruptly rushed out of the room.
As we passed by each other, she sent me a 'good luck' glance.
After Masayoshi was kicked out, the doctor turned over to me. Misa Tamaki was her name. Dr. Tamaki, but she asked everyone to just call her Misa. She was a short bubble of energy that seemed ready to explode at any moment. As was evident from the way she completely overwhelmed Erika of all people. Someone who I had always thought of as not overwhelmable by anyone, except for Suijin. And that was because it was Suijin.
"Good morning, Raiden! How are we feeling? Slept nice? How are the circuits feeling? Any unusual spikes in your heart rate?" Within the first few seconds of our conversation, she had fired off multiple quick questions, and she did not wait for me to answer them.
"I'm doing great."
"Alright then, go ahead and go to the center of the room, and I'll be back in just a moment!" She then rushed past me into the hall, and I could hear her chipper voice slowly fading away.
Sighing deeply, I walked to the center of the room, which actually took a while considering how large it actually was. Making my way there, I sat down and glanced at my hands.
Mana Therapy with Dr. Tamaki. It was something that had been integrated into my daily schedule. Due to my heart problems, I couldn't use mana how I normally did. That was clear with the heart attack that I had when I first tried to let mana flow through my body. So I had to go through a process of slowly learning how to use mana without short-circuiting my own heart.
It was essentially physical therapy, but for magicians. This was my second day here, and I had already seen what the routine would look like. It always started with the small practice of slowly forcing mana to flow through my body. At the moment, it was restricted by my own body as a way to ensure I didn't end up dying. In order to be able to allow it to flow freely once more, I had to start by slowly letting it flow and essentially reteaching my body to let the mana flow naturally. It was an intense concentration practice, and if my attention wavered for even a singular second, I could end up collapsing to the ground with a heart attack.
Despite that massive risk, I never once found the process threatening. Instead, I actually found it a calming process to go through. The feeling of mana slowly beginning to flow through my body was something that calmed me.
SLAM!
Suddenly the door slammed open, and I literally jumped. I was so scared out of my focus that my mana literally spiked out of control. I literally felt my heart stop for a few moments. In seconds, I was on my knees in a cold sweat, gripping my chest tightly and letting out ragged breaths. I could hear the sound of footsteps and a pair of voices, but they sounded distant.
After a few seconds, I finally managed to calm myself down, and Dr. Tamaki pulled me to my feet along with the help of another person. I looked up to thank them and froze when I saw Yuri.
His face was different from the usual serious and slightly hateful expression that he usually wore towards me. Instead, there was concern there, an emotion that I never thought Yuri would direct at anyone but Suijin. Even just looking at him, he didn't have the same air that he used to.
"Are you alright, Raiden?" He asked.
I nodded quickly, pinching myself in order to clear my mind. "I'm fine. A bit startled is all. Thanks." I quickly brushed aside everyone's concern as I stood up. Dr. Tamaki looked at me with a sideways glance. "Are you sure about that, Raiden? I heard Ms. Jackson has been getting on your case about that attitude quite a lot. Are you sure you don't want to rephrase that statement?" Realizing that she was very right, I shook my head and repeated my statement.
"Well, I lost my focus when you guys entered, and my mana ended up flaring out, which sent a spike of pain through my heart." Dr. Tamaki nodded as I gave my honest answer.
"You know, Raiden, it's essential that you remain completely honest when describing the state your body's in. It is essential that while we go through this therapy, we actually know how far we can push you. This doesn't work if you aren't honest about your limits." For the first time since I had met her, she actually spoke like a doctor, but that image was quickly vanquished as she began to bombard Yuri with questions. He just stood there, his right eye wide as he stared at her. He didn't even attempt to answer her questions because he knew he wouldn't have gotten the chance.
Smarter than me. I thought as I sat back down on the couch, waiting for Dr. Tamaki to finish checking up on Yuri. Both of us had been admitted to magic therapy, although for completely different reasons. While I needed to work on being able to have control over the mana in my body and ensuring that I didn't kill myself while trying to use it, Yuri's problem lay in his processing of magical sequences. Because part of his brain had been blown away, his ability to process magic sequences and all of the magic sequences that had been stored inside of his brain were severely damaged. He essentially was here to relearn the basics and try to recover the vast category of magic sequences that he once had.
I couldn't help but feel even more pity for him because of that. In my case, I just needed to work on releasing my mana. However, I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to lose everything. Every spell that I had spent time learning and mastering, all gone. And on top of that, losing all of my memories as well? I don't think I'd be able to handle it.
After Ms. Jackson had finished checking on the both of us, she instructed us to sit on the couch. "You two remember the basic drills that I showed you on your first day here?" Both of us nodded at the same time. "Good. I want you two to work through those until you feel it becoming too much or you feel yourself start to become comfortable with it. In either case, you will inform me immediately, understood?" She glared at us both for a bit longer than I would have liked.
Was I really known for being so careless about my own health? In my head, I just assumed that everyone was exaggerating the extent to which I 'neglected my own condition.' I couldn't have been that bad, right?
After she gave us our instructions, she walked over to a bunch of the bright blocks and began to set something up. Both I and Yuri sat in silence as we started our drills. After a few moments, when we had focused enough to continue subconsciously, Yuri turned towards me and asked a question.
"Raiden, how much did you know about the...me before?" When he said the word 'me,' his tone was like he was speaking of a distant stranger that he had only heard the smallest whispers from. I was a bit shocked when he asked me that question. It made me think for a bit. What did I know about Yuri? Granted, I don't think I ever once had a positive interaction with the guy before his memory loss, but I still knew some things about him.
I didn't want to keep him waiting, so I began to speak my thoughts aloud. "Well, I guess I can start with the fact that he was serious and competent." I thought back to all of the student council meetings I had been forced to attend, in which Yuri was always a no-nonsense figure, steering the conversation back on topic when it veered off. "I'd definitely consider him a magical prodigy. He was strong, and he had an insane arsenal of spells under his belt." Small parts of our fight against each other flashed through my mind". He was very forward with his opinion and words. He always spoke about how he felt about things he really didn't like. " I thought about his unconcealed disdain for non-mages and all the insults he would fire at me". But he was also an insightful person. He didn't stand for injustice, and he had his own way of helping people." I also remembered the reason for our fight. The fact that he had seen something in me that reminded him of who he was before he changed. Even though I didn't know much about him, I saw in the words we shared and all of our interactions that he and I were very similar people. We shared the same experiences. I think that was why we had so much animosity towards each other. We saw ourselves in one another, and it was the part of us we didn't like to see.
"But I don't think I'm the right person to be asking about that. I'm sure you'd receive better answers from Suijin or even any of the student council members."
Yuri, who had been listening intently up until that point, looked down in sadness as I mentioned Suijin and the other student council members. He gripped the fabric of the couch tightly as he spoke. "That's the thing. I talked to them a lot throughout today and yesterday, and it's just, I think they'd be inclined to give me a biased answer, no? After all, they'd want to paint the 'Yuri' that they lost in the best light possible. It only ended up making me feel inadequate. I was scared that they wanted me to vanish and the old Yuri to return."
I nodded my head, understanding what Yuri was going through painfully well. After I had seen the truth, all of my memories that had been sealed and hidden from me, I had a brief moment of existential crisis as I realized that Raiden, who didn't know those memories, was going to die. I was only able to move forward with it because of Ariel's words that death was necessary for rebirth. As the headmaster had told me before, "A man must truly die before they can be truly reborn."
"But even so, couldn't you ask them to be honest with you? They're all good people; I'm sure if you expressed that, they'd do their best to take it into account."
Yuri nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I saw it with my own eyes. How considerate they are. How patient they are. How much they care. But that's what makes it even harder to try. I feel like I'm on pins and needles when I'm around them. Any word I say just ends up making them look more and more hurt. They try to hide it, but I can see right through their expressions. Every time I ask a question, or any time I talk about the things I can't remember, I only end up killing their hopes even more. I-I can't. I don't want to hurt these kind people. Especially Suijin. She cares more than I've ever seen in my entire life." He laughed. "Well, technically my entire life has only been a day and a half, but you get it."
What Yuri was saying made sense. He was scared of hurting those close to him by failing to meet their hopes. So instead, he turned to others to not only get a more honest answer but also because it was easier for him.
I laughed a bit at his joke. "Still, I don't think I'm the best person to ask about things like that. Me and the you before, we didn't have a good relationship." I finally told Yuri the truth I had been avoiding for a while.
Yuri looked at me with a bit of shock. "Really? Because talking to you, you know, you're definitely someone that I'd like to be around. I've only had a few conversations with you, and yet I'd already call you a friend." He gave me a smile as he said that. His eye wasn't covered by his glasses this time, so I could see the honest light in it.
I just stared at him with my eyes widened and my mouth hanging open a bit.
Friends? With Yuri? That was something I thought would never happen.
Snapping out of my trance, I gave him a smile back. "Y-yeah. Same here."
But oddly, I wasn't opposed to it.