It was 10:46 AM the next day, and Jax Carter was standing in front of a vending machine that smelled like burnt circuits and broken dreams.
His current quest?
[Operation: Impress Mia with Coffee Knowledge]
Objective: Deliver mint tea. Bonus reward for not spilling it.
Reward: +50 EXP, +1 Relationship Point (Mia), Bonus Roll for Random Passive Skill
Penalty: Public humiliation and further erosion of your already floundering dignity.
No pressure.
He stared at the machine like it was a puzzle boss in a Dark Souls game. The interface was a battered touchscreen with the kind of responsiveness you'd expect from a toaster. Mint tea was option C7.
He poked C.
Nothing.
He poked it again. The screen beeped and blinked.
[Warning: Dexterity Check in Progress…]
"What the hell?" he muttered, just as the screen lit up:
[Agility Check: F (Threshold: D-)]
[Result: Failure]
The vending machine buzzed—and spat out a piping hot can of broccoli beef soup.
"…That's not even a drink."
He stepped back, reevaluating his life choices.
[Hint: Maybe use two hands, genius.]
"Oh, so now you're backseat vending?" he snapped.
[Snark Detected. Adjusting expectations accordingly.]
He muttered a few choice words under his breath, fished a second coin from his pocket, and gently tapped C7 with both hands like he was defusing a bomb.
The machine beeped, hummed… and then, with a mechanical clunk, a small silver can rolled into the tray below.
[Item Acquired: Mint Herbal Infused Tea (+1 Calm, +0.1 Style)]
[Bonus Objective Complete: No Spillage Detected]
[Quest Complete! +50 EXP | +1 Relationship Point (Mia) | Bonus Roll Initiated…]
[New Passive Skill Acquired: Stable Hands (F)]
Congratulations! You are now slightly less likely to drop things like a toddler.
Jax blinked. "...Damn,that's a very useful skill."
He cradled the tea like it was a sacred artifact and marched back toward the cubicles with the swagger of a man who just passed a vending machine Quick Time Event.
Back at Mia's desk, she was hunched over, whispering "why won't you just align" at her spreadsheet like it owed her rent money.
Jax approached.
"Delivery for the spreadsheet slayer," he said, holding the can of mint tea like a waiter presenting fine wine.
She looked up, surprised. "Is that…?"
"Mint tea. Vending machine vintage. Chilled. Faint hint of metal and regret."
Mia laughed. Again. That was four laughs in two days. He was practically a romcom lead.
[Mia Reynolds: Affection Level 6/100]
"Thanks. Seriously," she said, taking it. "I didn't think anyone remembered."
"Memory's the only thing I've got," Jax shrugged. "Well, that and a system HUD that roasts me daily."
She blinked. "What?"
He froze. Crap.
He covered quickly. "I mean… like a mental one. My brain has commentary. You know, inner monologue. With upgrades."
She squinted. "Do you write webnovels or something?"
"Only in my dreams. And also in my nightmares."
Mia laughed again.
[Affection Level 7/100]
Back at his desk, Jax was riding the high of being marginally less pathetic when the system flared again.
[New Quest Chain Unlocked: Workplace Ascension Path – Step 1]
Objective: Speak to your direct manager (Becky) without visibly sweating or saying the word "synergy."
Reward: Unlock Department Skill Tree – "Corporate Climbing (F)"
Bonus Objective: Get assigned to a real project.
He stared at the screen.
"Okay, system, what makes you think I want to talk to Becky? She calls me 'Jason' half the time and thinks Excel has a dark mode."
[Motivational Tip: Suffering builds character. So does capitalism.]
"…Fine."
Scene: Becky's Office
Also known as the Room Where Promotions Go to Die
Jax knocked. The door opened.
Becky—mid-40s, permanent tan, and the fashion sense of a wine mom at Coachella—looked up from her desk, which was entirely covered in unopened HR memos.
"Jack! Come in."
"It's Jax," he said politely, stepping in.
"Of course it is. How's the… thing? The code reports?"
"…They're fine."
[Charisma Check: F+ (Threshold: F)] – SUCCESS]
Becky smiled. "You're sharp. We need sharp. Tell you what—let's move you off lunch run duties. There's a new account coming in next week. Small business. Lots of receipts. Boring stuff. Think you can handle it?"
"I was born to handle boring," he deadpanned.
She laughed. "That's the spirit."
[Quest Complete! Corporate Climbing Tree Unlocked!]
[New Skill Tree: Corporate Climbing (F)]
Skill: Spreadsheet Sorcery (F-)
+10% chance to not cry during formatting hell.
Skill: Meeting Face (Passive)
Grants +5 Bluff when pretending to understand the agenda.
[Achievement Unlocked: Not a Total Intern]
[Title Gained: "Acceptably Useful"]
Later, during lunch, he slumped back in his chair and stared at his new stats.
[Status – Jax Carter]
Strength: F-
Agility: F
Endurance: F+
Intelligence: D-
Charisma: E-(Upgraded!)
Luck: F--
[Skills:]
Social Camouflage (Passive)
Stable Hands (F)
Meeting Face (Passive)
Spreadsheet Sorcery (F-)
[Titles:]
Functional Human
Acceptably Useful
[Quests:]
"Escalate Affection: Mia Reynolds (7/100)"
"Project: New Account – Make Becky Think You're Smart (Ongoing)"
"Lunchroom Diplomacy: Unlock Allies in Sales Division" (Locked)
Jax leaned back, sipped his coffee (cold, tragic), and grinned.
"Okay. I've got a system, a crush with a pulse, and at least one passive skill that isn't totally humiliating. I guess not that bad."
[Hint: Don't forget. Harem route unlocked at 3+ Affection Links. Current: 1]
He snorted.
"Harem route, huh? Better level up my emotional intelligence stat… or find a therapist."
[Therapist DLC not available in Trial Version]
"…Figures."