i stepped down from the bus, my shoes landing on the cracked pavement like the world itself was tired of carrying me.
thick smoke from engines filled the air, mixing with the noise of the crowd gathered outside the school gate.
the atmosphere was loud, messy, and exhausting—like life itself decided to choke me before class even began.
but then, i saw her.
she stood near the entrance, my girlfriend.
her eyes—wide, uncertain. her body—tense, fragile.
something was wrong.
there were boys surrounding her. older. louder. the kind of people who didn't care about rules.
their presence reeked of confidence built on fear and violence.
i didn't think.
i just ran.
"stop that," i shouted, my voice shaking slightly.
the one in the middle—he stepped forward.
his eyes didn't blink. his mouth curled into a half-smile, like my words didn't mean anything.
"you think you can stop us?" he said.
"do you even know who we are? we're from KOS."
kos.
a name that echoed like thunder in our school hallways.
king of street—the most feared underground group in the area.
almost every student either admired them or wanted to join them.
and me?
i was just a nobody.
weak. weird. invisible.
"i don't care," i said, forcing the words out of my dry throat.
"you're just a gang."
and in the next second, pain exploded across my face.
a fist.
blunt. heavy. full of weight i couldn't carry.
"what did you say, you piece of shit?"
his voice sounded far away, like i was underwater.
laughter followed. it surrounded me, stabbed at me like invisible knives.
my vision spun. my ears rang.
everyone was staring.
everyone saw.
and she—my girlfriend—stood there, unable to move.
unable to hide her face full of shame.
i wanted to fight back.
i truly did.
but my body froze.
my thoughts screamed at me, over and over—
"what if your punch is weak?"
"what if they dodge and laugh again?"
"what if you make it worse?"
i could hear them.
their mocking.
their pride.
"are you gonna stand up again?" one of them sneered.
"poor guy… can't even protect his own girl!"
"ahahahaha!"
my blood hit the ground before my knees did.
i hated the warmth of it.
i hated how real it made everything feel.
i hated how silent my mouth was, and how loud their laughter became.
what is this?
why am i like this?
why can't i do anything?
my world blurred.
my thoughts fell apart.
and the next time i opened my eyes—i was in the clinic.
the lights too white. the air too quiet.
and the shame?
it stayed with me.