There's no such thing as a god complex when Elias Black is around—you either kneel or get clowned.
Scene 1: The League Watches in Silence
The Watchtower is tense.
The Justice League sits together for the first time since Elias's celestial clown fiesta.
• Superman's arms are crossed, jaw tight.
• Diana cleans her blade absently.
• Flash paces with caffeine-induced anxiety.
• Aquaman keeps muttering, "This guy's a menace."
Suddenly—BOOM.
The doors blow open in a cloud of smoke and ego.
Elias Black walks in with a confident stride, Omega Sparks crackling off his boots…
…and wearing a T-shirt that says "League of Mid."
Elias:
"Knock knock! Daddy's home and no, I didn't bring snacks—unless you count psychological damage."
Scene 2: Roast Commences – Target: Superman
Superman steps forward, heat vision charging.
Superman:
"You shouldn't be here."
Elias (mock gasp):
"Kal-El! Still pretending heat vision means conviction?
I've seen better emotional expression from Siri."
Superman:
"You're dangerous."
Elias:
"No no no, you're dangerous. To logic, common sense, and hairstyle innovation.
Seriously, the curl? 1938 called—they want their look back."
Scene 3: Roast – Target: Wonder Woman
Diana clenches her fists.
Diana:
"You mock honor."
Elias:
"Only when honor swings a sword like she's auditioning for a perfume ad."
Diana (growling):
"I could end you."
Elias (stepping closer):
"You couldn't even end your last trilogy. Try again, shield maiden."
Scene 4: Roast – Target: Batman
Batman appears from the shadows. Classic.
Elias:
"Bruce! You're late. Did you spend extra time brooding in the vents again?"
Batman:
"You don't belong here."
Elias:
"And you do? What's your power again?
Oh right—daddy issues, a black card, and an addiction to trauma."
He pats Bruce's cape.
Elias:
"Dry clean this. Smells like emotional repression and rotting plot armor."
Scene 5: The League Snaps
Flash speeds up to Elias's face.
Flash:
"Why are you here?! What's your game?!"
Elias (grinning):
"I came to check on my favorite dysfunctional soap opera cast.
Also, to see if your brains have upgraded from Windows 'Naïve' to something with actual critical thinking."
Flash blinks.
Elias (mocking tone):
"No? Still buffering. Got it."
Scene 6: Final Blow – System Interface Mockery
[System Notification: "Justice League Trust Level -28"]
[Achievement Unlocked: "Menace to Morality" – +5% damage to egos, +10% sarcasm crit chance]
Elias (reading it aloud):
"Oh look! My system thinks I'm hilarious. Unlike you humorless tin cans."
He turns to the room.
Elias:
"Let's be real: I beat gods last night.
And the fact that I still consider you all worth roasting?
That's mercy.
Cherish it."
Scene 7: Elias Leaves – Like a Storm Passing Through
He walks out slowly, Omega cloak flaring behind him.
Before he exits, he stops at the door.
Turns around.
Middle finger up.
Elias:
"For the record…
I don't hate you guys.
I just like myself a whole lot more."
Flash (quietly):
"He's going to destroy the universe, isn't he?"
Batman:
"Not before he humiliates it first."