Aria POV
"Good morning," Luna Selene said, entering the room. I was already awake. I hadn't eaten anything. I refused to do so. I just thought as I stared into space, wondering how it was going to be dealing with everything that I had to deal with.
Wondering how I was going to cope with things here. And noticing my disorientation, Luna Selene raised her hands in surrender.
"Relax, Aria," she said softly. I wanted to open my mouth to speak, however my eyes landed on the bundle in her arms. It was my baby. The guilt that I felt in my chest was one that I could not describe. I looked away, unable to look at her, unable to explain to myself why I was resenting her this much, especially after I had fought for her. I was more than willing to fight for her. I was more than willing to protect her. But now I couldn't.
"What you are feeling Aria, it is normal. After everything that you've been through, your fear, the pressure, that's all overwhelming. Mothers that did not go through half of what you did sometimes resent their own children, sometimes reject them too. But look at her, Isla has nothing to do with her. She's innocent of all of this. She needs you. You are the one person that she knows, and she needs you by her side."
"Isla?" I repeated looking at her as I processed what she had said.
"Kian named her," Luna Selene said, glancing down at the baby. "He chose Isla, short and sweet. I believe that it suits her. Do you want to take a look at her?"
I swallowed hard, the weight of the name settling over me. Isla. A name that felt so small and fragile, much like the baby it belonged to. But I knew this looking at her was going to make me weaken and I was not going to be able to protect her.
"She's beautiful, Aria," Luna Selene said, stepping closer. "Would you like to hold her?
All you have to do is look at her. Your body is going to take charge. Her instincts are going to do so too."
"They said I wasn't fit to be her mother," I whispered. "Even he thinks so..."
"You carried this child alone for months. You endured unimaginable hardships. You protected her when no one else. If that does not make you fit to be her mother, I don't know what does." Luna Selene said softly.
"People are going to speak, they are going to tell you that you're not right as a mother. Some of them are going to keep throwing you into situations where you are going to want to give up. Others are going to keep shaming everything that you do. Will that make you any less of a mother? No, it will not. You are this baby's mother and she needs you right now. More than anything, she needs the one person that she knew.
And I think that you need her too."
I hesitated, my hands trembling as Luna Selene stepped closer. She held Isla out to me, and for a moment, I couldn't move. The baby whimpered, her tiny hands twitching, and the sound pierced through my hesitation. Slowly, I reached out.
"Support her head," Luna Selene guided, her voice calm. "It's okay to feel frightened the first time you carry her. I am going to be by your side and I'm going to help you out."
I took Isla into my arms, her warmth spreading through me like a blooming flower. My breath hitched as I looked down at her for the first time. Her eyes fluttered open, meeting mine, and a sob escaped my lips.
"Hi, baby," I whispered, my voice cracking.
"I'm your mom..."
Isla's small face scrunched up before she let out a cry, startling me. I wanted to give her back to Luna Selene, only she shook her head at me and put her hand on my shoulder.
"She's hungry," Luna Selene said, placing a steadying hand on my arm. "That's how babies let us know what they need. Would you like to try feeding her? I think that it's going to be good for the two of you."
"I don't think I can," I stammered, panic rising in my chest. What if I do it the wrong way? What if I don't feed her enough? What if she's not fed...?"
"Easy..." Luna Selene handed me a blanket and helped me drape it over my shoulder.
"There's nothing more natural than a mother feeding her child. Guide her to your breast. She will know what to do. It's their instinct, they know how to do it."