Read ahead of the available translations: [patreon.com/IbringupontheeTL]
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The Celestial Realm was not merely a world floating in the heavens, but a mysterious dimension hidden beyond time and space—a final resting place for souls across countless parallel worlds, and the birthplace of new life.
…
Inside a grand palace suspended in the void, a silver-haired young man with narrow, lifeless eyes slowly awoke.
At some point, he found himself standing in an ancient, ornate hall adorned with intricate carvings. Through the wooden windows, he could vaguely glimpse the dark, shattered void beyond.
"Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing here?"
Still dazed, the silver-haired man rubbed his head and uttered the three great philosophical questions of mankind.
He staggered to his feet, but then—
"Mortal who met an unfortunate and untimely demise, welcome to the afterlife."
A crisp, childlike voice suddenly rang in his ears.
He looked up and saw a white-haired, red-eyed goddess clad in a pure white robe, wearing a laurel crown—though her figure was decidedly… underdeveloped. She sat atop a divine throne that should have radiated majesty, yet she was lazily crossing her legs in an utterly un-goddess-like manner.
After reciting her lines like a bored bureaucrat, the petite, loli-esque goddess frowned slightly.
"Tch." She clicked her tongue in annoyance, glaring down at the silver-haired man below.
"Let me introduce myself. I am Angel—yes, like the angels from your myths, more or less. Currently in charge of managing reincarnation for a few of your worlds."
"A goddess? Wait, why is she looking at me like that? Did I do something wrong?"
The man instinctively scratched his butt.
Hmm, feels bare… Wait, huh?!
He suddenly realized he was only wearing a pair of loose boxers—his clothes had mysteriously vanished.
"Uh… excuse me, where are my clothes?"
Embarrassed, he covered his privates with his hands.
Only now did he get a proper look at the little brat on the throne, swinging her legs like a smug doll. Her white dress fluttered with each movement.
Sure, the angle was legally questionable, but given the circumstances, he wisely lowered his head in respect.
"Hmph. A mere human body… What do you take me for?" Angel smirked disdainfully.
"Aren't you a goddess? Don't tell me you moonlight as a laundry thief?"
"Idiot! I am the Goddess of Reincarnation, overseeing the cycle of life and death across countless worlds! I've seen more naked men than you've eaten grains of salt in your pathetic lifetime!"
"Really? Too much salt causes high blood pressure, so I usually—"
**"SHUT UP!"**
Perhaps because her intimidation attempt failed, the loli goddess looked even angrier now.
"Anyway, you'd better understand your situation, you insufferable fool."
"M-my situation?" The man tensed up.
"Heh. As I said, I handle reincarnation for your worlds. If you haven't figured it out by now…"
"Reincarnation…?"
The words sank in, and the man froze.
Angel grinned smugly at his stunned expression. With a wave of her hand, a golden cup materialized, filled with ice-cold, fizzing soda.
She took a long, satisfying gulp, relishing the dead man's shock. Ah, nothing better than sipping soda while watching a fresh soul panic—truly the pinnacle of heavenly entertainment!
Meanwhile, the silver-haired man finally snapped out of his daze.
"I… I'm dead?" His lips trembled as he stared at Angel.
"Obviously. The fact that I'm sitting here drinking cola should be proof enough, no?"
"You—!" He gritted his teeth at the smirking, sadistic angel.
Ignoring his murderous glare, Angel continued lazily:
"Anyway, you died in your original world. Ah yes—crushed by something called a 'fully-insured semi-truck.'"
The man's eyes widened.
"No way! Last night, I drank with friends, went home, and passed out in bed! I live on the third floor—how the hell could a truck kill me?!"
Angel scoffed.
"Oh? So your bedroom was in the middle of a crosswalk, was it?"
With a wave of her hand, a translucent screen appeared before him.
The young man noticed the surveillance timestamp in the bottom corner of the screen.
The footage showed his drunken self from the night before.
Having finally received his year-end bonus, he had gone out for drinks with a few colleagues. Now, clearly wasted, he staggered home alone, clutching a liquor bottle.
"See? Nothing wrong here!"
"Shut up and keep watching."
In the video, the swaying silver-haired man reached a crosswalk—only to slip and faceplant onto the pavement. He lay motionless in the middle of the road, seemingly fast asleep.
"Th-That can't be right! I remember making it home safely! I even said hi to my cat—"
Before he could finish, the footage showed his unconscious body suddenly stirring. His drunk hallucination-self proceeded to "unlock" an invisible door, greet an imaginary cat, strip, and tuck himself into bed—all while still sprawled on the asphalt.
Angel fast-forwarded.
For the next two hours, a few cars narrowly avoided running him over, blaring their horns in panic. But he remained dead asleep.
His luck ran out at dawn.
A semi-truck emerged with the first light of morning.
Angel kindly pixelated the aftermath—but the young man still turned green and dry-heaved.
"Well? Any more complaints?"
With a "Heave-ho!", Angel hopped off her throne and sauntered over, eager to savor his despair.
The man sat frozen.
This was it? His hard-earned life—snuffed out by something so stupid?
"NO! I REFUSE TO DIE LIKE THIS!!!"
In a flash, the floral-boxer-clad man lunged and latched onto Angel's thigh, bawling into her dress.
"LET GO, YOU PERV! HELP! A CREEP'S ASSAULTING A GODDESS!!!"
Flailing, Angel summoned another golden soda cup and—
**BONK!**
The cup shattered. Carbonated joy spilled across the floor—along with the young man's consciousness.
"Haaah… haaah…" Panting, Angel clutched her flat chest. She prodded the unconscious man with her foot. No response.
"Hey! You can't 'play dead' when you're already dead! Wake up!"
But whether it was the lingering alcohol or her divine strength, he stayed out cold.
"Ugh… damn it!" Angel's cute face scrunched in frustration. "I'm gonna miss my soul-quota deadline… No perfect attendance bonus again… Why do I always get stuck with these losers?!"
She kicked him once more for good measure.
"This is ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Suddenly, her eyes lit up.
"Wait—I still have that garbage-tier isekai slot no one wants! Perfect chance to dump this trash!"
With a clap, she materialized a 300-page contract and—without reading a single disclaimer—grabbed the man's limp hand to stamp every page.
The final sheet had just one field:
[ADVENTURER NAME]
"Ugh, I never asked his name…" She checked her dainty wristwatch. "No time! Guess I'll bless him with one myself!"
Guiding his unconscious hand, she scrawled:
"SEBAS"
"Heh. Not bad, right? …Okay fine, I stole it from my no-soda-allowing butler."
"Oh, and this—off you go!"
A glowing blue portal yawned open beneath them.
"Wow, the rejection rate's so high the system processed this instantly!" Cheerfully, she dragged "Sebas" by the ankle and—
**HEAVE-HO!**
—pitched him into the void.
As the portal snapped shut, Angel smirked.
"Lucky pervert. Since your life got cut short, I'll 'gift' you a new one. Hope you enjoy your 'adventure'~ Ahahahaha!"
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