I Can See You.
"Wait till you see half the things that haven't happened…yet."
We laid there quietly for a while taking in the sun, taking in the sounds of the distant waves crashing against the shore, until finally Dani began talking.
"Auggie, I need to know if you're planning on getting like a cute drunk or like white girl wasted so I can either keep pouring you drinks or limiting you." Dani turned from her chair to look at me for my response. I paused, looking out at the bright sky and the rippling water of the pool, as if the universe was giving me some sign. But there was no sign, just me and the warm air. It was my birthday, after all. Maybe tonight I could finally relax, just for a little while.
"I think I wanna let my inhibitions down tonight, and probably get white girl wasted." I laughed as I said it because it sounded silly.
Dani clapped and stood up from her chair. "That's all I needed to hear, I'll be right back, we're doing bottle shots!" She shouted and all the guys turned to look at her. I watched as she walked past them and into the house.
"Mals, please just keep me away from water if I'm too drunk." I let out a soft laugh, letting her know I was half joking and half serious. She shared a sincere smile and nod and I knew I was safe. Dani came back with the bottle of Don Julio and three chicken skewers in the other.
"One for each of us, something to absorb this liquor," she handed us a skewer and she sat back down. We began eating the piping hot chicken that was coated in barbecue sauce. Hunter walked up to us and he had a salt shaker and a couple of limes that he handed to Dani.
"Thank you sweetheart!" Dani said as Hunter walked away.
"Okay Auggie we're gonna do tequila shots the way it's normally done." she started to lick her hand and shook the salt shaker on her hand. "Lick your hand so the salt sticks, pour some salt, then you're gonna lick the salt off, take the shot and suck on the lime. You ready?" She handed me the salt shaker and a lime as I proceeded to lick my hand and add salt. I handed it over to Mals and then Dani took the shot first. I followed shortly after, licking the salt from my hand and then taking a drink straight from the bottle and immediately sucking on the lime. My face instantly scrunched up at first 'cause of the alcohol and then 'cause of the lime.
"What did you think auggie?" Dani asked.
"I…it all burns the same going down I still don't-" I trailed off as I saw Justin walking over with the bottle of Belvedere. And I just knew what he was doing and I couldn't help but laugh at both of them. Dani turned around and noticed why and started laughing. Justin walked down the steps of the pool and walked over to us.
"You're unbelievable, Justin!" Dani shouted as she threw her hands in the air.
Justin just smirked, unphased by her dramatic reaction, and leaned in closer to me, handing me the vodka. "I'm not losing, Dani! Your tequila shots are cute, but I'm raising you a vodka Red Bull." He pulled a can of red bull from his pockets and continued, "August, I've seen you drink these on our long hour days so I know you'll like this." He cracked open the can and took a long sip to make room for the liquor. He then poured vodka into the can and swirled it lightly and then he handed it to me.
I grabbed it from his extended hand and brought it up to my lips. I couldn't smell the vodka, I could only smell the sweetness from the red bull which smells like gummy bears to me.
I took a long sip and didn't immediately scowl. It just tasted like flat Red Bull. I laughed. "This is way better than straight shots. It's like a sneaky little drink that's trying to trick me into thinking I'm not even drinking!" I said as Dani grabbed the drink from my hand to have a taste for herself.
"Nah, this needs more booze!" Dani squealed with a dramatic roll of her eyes. He did just that and handed it back to me. I grabbed the vodka Red Bull from his hand and took another sip. It still just tasted like flat Red Bull. I shrugged and laughed. "Honestly, I don't even care but it's way better than straight shots."
"By the end of the night we are closing this argument Dani! And you and Marshall better prepare to go to the store for that bottle!" Justin laughed as he was getting out and going back over to Marshall and Hunter.
"He is just so sure of himself isn't he!" Dani rolled her eyes playfully.
We sat tanning and talking for a while longer when the food was finally done. We got out of the water and walked over to the outside dinner table. Marshall had out done himself with the grilling. He had laid out a spread of perfectly grilled steaks, chicken skewers glazed with barbecue sauce, and colorful vegetables. There was also corn on the cob, golden and slightly charred, and bowls of potato salad and coleslaw on the side. It was simple but delicious, the kind of spread that made your stomach growl with anticipation.
After dinner we all sat quietly around the table, too full to even speak. At this point I was feeling a much stronger buzz, and was starting to go deep into thought. Thinking about my mom. Thinking about every lie she might've told me and my world was crumbling all over again. Everything I believed was a lie, born to further her narrative of what she wanted from me in life. I just want to numb this ache I have in me… "I need a drink" I mumbled out loud. Everyone's eyes shot up at me as I realized I said it loud enough for them to hear.
"That's a great idea August, let me go get the good stuff!" Marshall stood up and walked inside. He walked out almost instantly holding a small weird shaped bottle of a darker liquid.
"Oh baby, the hennessy XO already?" Dani asked wide eyed. He let out a soft chuckle and nodded.
"Y'all be careful this stuff will either get you pregnant or get you in trouble with your neighbors. No in between." Dani joked as she held up her cup for him to pour into. One by one he poured a small amount into each cup. I held the drink up to my nose and the smell was strong but not overwhelming.
"Here's to hoping it dulls our aches" I said, sharing a glance at Justin before turning to look at everyone else as we all cheered. I took the shot head on and it was surprisingly smooth, the flavor was rich and it kind of tasted like dark chocolate.
"Wow, that was shockingly good." I said reaching over to grab the bottle.
"It's an expensive liquor that's why it's good." Marshall said, "go ahead pour yourself some more we got two more bottles," he added. I poured myself a little more than he originally poured me, and I took a small sip. Dani followed suit, and then Justin joined as well. Justin raised his drink towards me and held his gaze until I returned the gesture. We both drank until we finished it.
We sat around lazily talking and drinking until the sun began to set. Dani suggested we play everyone's favorite party game, Truth or Dare. So the six of us sat in a loose circle on the patio, the warm now night air thick with the scent of charcoal and saltwater. The pool water rippled softly behind us, and the drinks were definitely working their magic, laughter came easier, words a little looser.
"Alright, my turn!" Dani clapped her hands together, eyes beaming mischievously as she looked around the group. "Hunter, truth or dare?"
Hunter leaned back on his hands, considering. "Dare. Hit me with your best shot."
Dani's smirk widened. "I dare you to jump into the pool fully clothed."
He groaned dramatically but stood up anyway. "I was hoping for something spicy, but fine." Without hesitation, he ran toward the pool and cannonballed in, sending a wave of water splashing onto the patio as we all shrieked. He surfaced with a grin, shaking his long wet hair like a dog.
"My turn," he announced as he pulled himself out of the water, dripping onto the stone. His eyes scanned the circle before locking onto Justin. "Truth or dare, man?"
Justin took a slow sip of his drink, then leaned forward. "Dare."
Hunter's grin turned downright devilish. He paused for effect, letting the moment stretch before pointing between Justin and me.
"I dare you to kiss…" he scanned the area darting between Mallory and I until finally "August."
The playful energy in the air shifted instantly. I felt the weight of everyone's stares, my stomach doing a weird little flip.
Mallory stiffened beside me. Dani sucked in an excited breath. And Justin? He didn't even blink. His smirk stayed perfectly in place, like this didn't faze him at all.
"That's the best you got?" he drawled, running his tongue over his bottom lip.
Hunter shrugged. "Hey, rules are rules."
Dani leaned in, her smirk growing. "What's wrong, Auggie? You scared?"
I shot her a glare, but I couldn't ignore the way my pulse kicked up. This was just a dumb game. It didn't mean anything.
Justin finally turned his attention to me, his gaze dipping to my lips before coming back up. He wasn't smirking anymore. The teasing look in his eyes had shifted, something unreadable settling there instead. He walked over to me and extended his hand out to help me stand up.
"Well, birthday girl," he said, voice smooth and low. "What do you say?"
I swallowed, suddenly hyper aware of how close he was, how the heat from his skin seemed to radiate in the humid night air. My mind raced, searching for a way out of this, but nothing came.
Justin tilted his head, waiting. The group had gone completely silent.
And then slowly he leaned in.
My breath caught as he closed the space between us, and before I could think too hard about it, his lips brushed against mine. It was soft at first, almost like he was giving me a chance to pull away. But I didn't.
The warmth of his mouth, the faint taste of liquor and something unmistakably him…it sent a sharp jolt through me, something dangerously close to excitement. I barely had time to process before he pressed in just a little more, his hand coming up to cup the side of my face, fingers grazing my jaw.
A mix of whoops and gasps erupted around us, but I barely heard them. My pulse was in my ears, my skin burning where he touched me.
And then, just as suddenly as it started, Justin pulled back. Not all the way but just enough to search my face, I didn't realize I had leaned into him until he pulled back, his gaze lingering on mine for a beat too long, his breath still mingling with mine. His thumb absentmindedly grazed my cheek. His expression was unreadable, his breathing just a little uneven.
"Damn, that was supposed to be a dare, not a confession." Hunter muttered, breaking the moment.
Dani let out a low whistle. "I was expecting a peck, not a whole damn scene."
"It's just a game," I blurted out, more for myself than anyone else.
Justin's lips curled into something between a smirk and something else entirely. "Right," he murmured.
But the way he looked at me?
It didn't feel like just a game at all. That's the kind of kiss I wanted to share with Erik, not with Justin. Heat rushed to my face as I turned back toward my drink, trying to play it off, but my fingers trembled slightly around the cup. Across from me, Justin dragged a hand through his hair, he exhaled and straightened, the smirk sliding back into place like a mask.
Hunter smirked, clearly pleased with himself. "Alright, moving on before August combusts."
Dani giggled, nudging me with her foot as she settled back onto the lounge chair. "Okay, my turn! Mallory—truth or dare?"
Mallory rolled her eyes but smirked. "Dare."
Dani clapped her hands together, eyes gleaming with mischief. "I dare you to do your best drunk impression of Erik."
The whole group erupted into laughter as Mallory groaned. "Ugh, you're the worst." She sat up, flipping her hair dramatically before slumping her shoulders and speaking in a ridiculous, exaggerated voice. "August, you're, like, so—so different from other girls. Like, you just get me, you know?"
Justin let out a low chuckle, and without thinking, I glanced his way. He was already looking at me. The corner of his mouth quirked up just slightly, something knowing in his gaze. My stomach flipped.
Mallory groaned, still playing her role. "You should totally let me take you out and then, like, reject me so I can tell everyone I'm totally unbothered but actually cry about it in my car."
I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my drink, shaking my head as everyone howled.
"Alright, alright, next!" Mallory scanned the group, her gaze landing on Justin. A slow grin spread across her face.
"Justin—truth or dare?"
He stretched, looking entirely unbothered. "Dare."
Mallory exchanged a look with Dani before grinning. "I dare you to give August a nice little massage."
Heat crawled up my neck. "Seriously?"
"What?" Dani smirked. "All that tension from the plane ride, seems like a solid favor."
Justin's lips twitched, his eyes locking onto mine. "You good with that, August?"
I should've said no. I should've waved it off, rolled my eyes, made some sarcastic joke. But the way he was looking at me, calm, steady, a hint of amusement underneath, had me frozen.
I cleared my throat. "Fine. Whatever."
Justin brought his chair closer, then his hands found my shoulders with an ease that sent a chill down my spine. His fingers pressed in, firm but careful, and I exhaled sharply before I could stop myself.
"You're tense," he murmured near my ear, voice lower than usual.
I swallowed hard. "Maybe because people keep making you touch me in weirdly intimate ways?"
He chuckled, his breath warm against my skin. "Could be."
I caught Mallory and Dani watching with open amusement, and I glared at them over my shoulder. "Happy now?"
"Very," Mallory said innocently.
Justin gave my shoulders one last squeeze before pulling back. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.
Marshall, who had been watching all of this with an amused grin, finally spoke. "Alright, we need a palate cleanser. August—truth or dare?"
I tore my gaze away from Justin. "Truth."
Marshall leaned back on his hands, considering. "Alright. Be honest—if you had to pick between tequila and vodka for the rest of your life, which one?"
I groaned, flopping back dramatically. "Ugh, Marshall, that's cruel."
"Answer the question," Justin teased, his voice low and amused.
I bit my lip, hesitating before glancing at the half-empty vodka Red Bull in my hand. Mad that Justin was right about me liking vodka.
"...Vodka," I admitted.
Justin smirked. "Knew it."
Dani gasped, clutching her chest. "I feel so betrayed."
Laughter filled the air again before Hunter sat up suddenly, pointing at Justin. "Your turn. Truth or dare?"
Justin took a swig from his drink, then smirked. "Truth."
Hunter's eyes full of mischief. "What's the pettiest reason you've ever stopped talking to a girl?"
Justin let out a low laugh, shaking his head. "Damn, calling me out." He exhaled, thinking for a second. "Alright, there was this one girl in college. We were talking for a little bit, but then I found out she put ranch on her pizza."
Mallory gasped. "That is not a real reason."
Justin shrugged. "It was the way she did it. Like, drowned it in ranch and then called it 'gourmet' like she was better than everyone else. I couldn't look at her the same after that."
Dani cackled, doubling over. "That's insane."
"I stand by it," Justin said, smirking as he caught my gaze. I shook my head, laughing.
"Alright, Dani, your turn," Justin said. "Truth or dare?"
Dani grinned. "Truth."
Justin tilted his head, considering. Then his lips curled into something devilish. "If you weren't married to Marshall, which one of us would you have dated?"
Marshall let out a playful scoff. "Oh, hell no."
Dani cackled, dramatically pressing a hand to her heart. "Well, babe, if you must know… it definitely wouldn't have been you, Hunter."
Hunter clutched his chest like she had stabbed him. "Cold-blooded, Dani."
Dani winked at Marshall, blowing him a kiss. "But obviously, none of you would've stood a chance. I only have eyes for my man."
Hunter groaned. "Alright, last round. I'm picking Justin—again."
Justin raised a brow. "Again?"
Hunter's grin turned devious. "Dare?"
Justin exhaled, shaking his head with a small smirk. "Fine. Dare."
Hunter, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, leaned forward, clearly plotting his next move. "Alright, Justin," he said, a slow grin spreading across his face, "I've got a good one for you."
The group quieted, anticipation building again.
Justin raised an eyebrow, clearly bracing himself. "Let's hear it."
Hunter's grin widened. "I dare you to kiss August…again. And make it a good one."
The group fell into stunned silence.
I felt my chest tighten. We had already kissed, once during this game.
Justin's eyes shifted to mine, his gaze intense, flickering with something deeper, something that I wasn't sure I was ready to confront. He smirked, not even bothering to mask the tension in the air between us.
The dare was set.
I could feel my heart hammering in my chest, my breaths a little quicker. I swallowed hard. He walked over to me once more and we met in the middle.
Without breaking eye contact, Justin took a small step toward me, his hand coming to rest gently at the back of my neck. He was moving slowly, deliberately. The air felt thick around us as he leaned in, closing the space between us.
The moment his lips touched mine, it was different from before. This wasn't part of a game anymore; this was real. His kiss was deeper, more possessive, his lips molding to mine with an intensity that took my breath away. His other hand grazed my back, stopping at the edge, where my butt and bathing suit met, he slowly but firmly pulled me in closer.
I froze for a second, feeling the heat of the kiss surged through me. I couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Only the feeling of his lips, his hands, and the knowledge that everyone was watching.
When he pulled back, it was as if the world had shifted. His breath came in uneven gasps, his gaze locked on mine, almost searching for something. My chest rose and fell with my own ragged breaths, but I couldn't break eye contact. His stare was intense, nothing I'd ever seen from him before.
"Damn, Justin," Hunter said with a low whistle. "Guess you win the dare."
The group erupted into teasing laughter, but I couldn't focus on anything but the rush of emotions swirling in my chest. The air felt weighted, and everything else seemed to blur.
As the laughter from the group died down, everyone started gathering their things. Dani and Marshall headed inside, laughing about something Dani had said to Marshall while Hunter followed them, still grinning. Mallory, still playfully poking fun at me, gave me one last teasing smile before she walked in, leaving just me and Justin standing by the pool.
The stillness between us felt… strange now. There was tension hanging in the air. The sound of the distant party inside felt muffled, like we were in our own little world.
I finally let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, and Justin turned toward me, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Look, about that last kiss…" he started, his voice quieter, almost uncertain. His eyes met mine, but he didn't seem quite as confident as usual. "If I pushed things too far... I'm sorry. It was just part of the game, but I can see how that might've crossed a line for you. I hope it didn't make you feel uncomfortable."
His words caught me off guard. For a moment, I didn't know how to respond. It had been a lot, and my emotions were swirling. But I didn't want to let him think it was something he needed to apologize for.
I took a small step closer, my voice steady as I spoke. "No, Justin, it's okay." I met his gaze, and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I know it was part of the game. You didn't push it too far. It was… it was fine." I smiled, trying to ease the tension between us, though I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.
He looked at me, still searching my face for any sign of doubt. His gaze softened, and I could see the relief flood through him when I gave him a reassuring smile.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice still low, though there was a warmth in it now. "I don't want you to think I was being a jerk."
I nodded, stepping a little closer. "I'm sure. I know it was just part of the game. And… I'm not upset. It was just a kiss, Justin. Nothing more."
His expression softened as if he were absorbing my words, the tension easing out of his shoulders. He gave a small nod of his own, and then we both stood there for a moment, the quiet stretching between us.
"You're… you're really good at that," I said with a light laugh, hoping the joking would lighten the mood a little. "The whole kiss thing."
Justin grinned, his usual cocky confidence slowly returning. "Well, I've had some practice," he said, the playful tone back in his voice. "But don't get any ideas. I'm not that easy."
I raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile tugging at my lips. "Oh, really?" I let out a small, dramatic sigh. "Guess I'll have to reconsider my whole 'Justin is the best kisser on the planet' theory then."
He laughed, but I could see a flicker of amusement in his eyes. "You're gonna regret saying that," he shot back, leaning in a little closer, as if he was about to say something serious. "But if you want to test that theory, we can…"
I immediately stepped back, throwing my hands up in surrender. "No, no. I'm good. I've been kissed enough for one night," I teased, my heart still racing but in a way that felt easier now, lighter.
"You sure?" he smirked, crossing his arms like he was considering it.
"Positive," I said with a laugh, playfully brushing my hair back. "But maybe next time, don't bring out the vodka first."
Justin chuckled. "Noted. I'm still blaming that on Dani, though." He paused, then added with a wink, "Next time, we'll have to do it with tequila. Might give you a better 'response'."
I rolled my eyes but couldn't hide my smile. "You really are full of yourself, huh?"
He shrugged, looking completely at ease again. "What can I say? I'm a man of many talents."
"Sure, sure," I said, shaking my head, "but I'll believe it when I see it."
We stood there for a few moments longer, the sound of the group inside growing louder again. There was still a strange connection between us, but the weight of it didn't feel as heavy. Maybe it was the teasing, or maybe it was the fact that, despite everything, we were both still standing here, laughing.
"Yeah, well," Justin started, his voice light but with a flicker in his eye, "you were way better than I thought you'd be. Guess I'll have to keep an eye out for future kissers in this group."
I couldn't help but laugh, raising an eyebrow at him. "Oh really? So now I'm the benchmark?"
His grin widened, and he leaned in just a little, voice dropping slightly as if sharing a secret. "You're definitely setting the bar higher than I expected." He held my gaze for a moment before winking and stepping back, letting the playful tension linger. I rolled my eyes playfully and nudged his arm.
"Come on, let's go inside before they think we're kissing again." I teased.
"Oh I'm so telling them you made a move on me out here!" He said as he started walking fast to the door, "She's trying to kiss me again, you guys!!" He yelled out as I started running after him and jumping on his back screaming "he's a liar! don't believe him!"
We made it inside, and everyone turned to look at us with amusement on their faces. The tension that had hung between us earlier melted away, and I felt an odd kind of ease settle over me. The party continued, though the fatigue was setting in. Shot after shot, the world around me became a haze. Slurred words and laughter filled the air, the beats of the music vibrating in my chest. I danced, I talked, I cried, just… existing in the noise. Then, the next thing I knew, I was laughing with Mallory as I took my first body shot off of her chest—wrong in all the best ways, hilarious and a little off-the-rails.
But people began to disappear, one by one. They wandered off to their rooms, collapsed on the couch, leaving only Justin and me by the kitchen table.
"You're holding your liquor way better than I imagined," he teased, his voice a little distorted.
"I'm feeling very good," I slurred back, my words spilling out in a rush. "Like, on the cusp of super drunkenness. I wanna keep going, but I also want to just lay down, maybe on the balcony." I laughed, a lightness bubbling up inside me.
"Super drunkenness? I can dig that." He grinned, his smirk softening into something warmer. "Come on, let's grab this bottle. I'll help you up to your room, and we can go to the balcony for a bit."
His arm slipped around my waist, steadying me, but everything felt loose, like I was moving through water. We stumbled toward my room.
"I think I have the best room, right?" I mumbled, lowering myself onto the floor, leaning against the bed. Justin sat next to me, cracking open the new bottle of Belvedere.
"Vodka… your official favorite," he teased, taking a long gulp. He passed it to me, and I followed suit. The taste didn't burn as much this time, but the warmth spread through me, making everything feel… distant.
"Tomorrow might be different," I muttered, my words slurring. "Who knows. But what I do know is—"
The next moments blurred, like a string of disconnected memories. I remember the bottle in my hand, the light sound of Justin's laugh, the sound of my own laughter. But then…nothing. The edges of my consciousness went soft, like everything was slipping through my fingers.