If you asked me what death tastes like, I'd say overcooked stew with a hint of regret and a sprinkle of glitter.
My name is Han Jiwon.
I've lived 999 lives.
And I've died 999 stupid, ridiculous deaths.
Not heroic, mind you. I didn't perish in an epic clash against a demon king or sacrificing myself to save a nation. Nah. The universe prefers to kill me in the dumbest ways possible.
Like eating the wrong herb.
Or pressing buttons I shouldn't press.
Or… falling asleep inside a dungeon beast's nostril.
Yeah. That happened too.
LOOP #1 – "Death by Side Dish"
The first time I awakened—266 days before the Merge—I thought I was the chosen one. The first one to hear the System's voice.
No one else knew what was coming.
Not the government.
Not the hunters.
Not even the guy selling fish cakes by the subway station.
Me? I got a full display of blinking quests, a level counter, and a warning:
Survive until the Grand Merge. Reward: Everything. Penalty: Death.
I took it seriously. For about an hour.
Then I got hungry.
I stumbled into a dungeon rift that had appeared in Gyeonggi-do. Harmless, low-level. Looked like a flower field with bad Wi-Fi.
And there it was: a sparkling herb growing from a mossy rock. Green, fresh, glimmering slightly like a k-pop idol's stage outfit.
A message popped up.
[Sleeping Crocus: A rare herb. Unknown effects.]
"Unknown? Must be a buff," I muttered, like an idiot.
So I picked it. Stir-fried it with some ramyeon noodles and beef strips.
It tasted amazing… for two seconds.
Then I started seeing my ancestors doing finger hearts at me. I threw up glitter. My eyes rolled back. I fell face-first into the pot.
The last thing I heard before death was the System sighing.
Cause of Death: Poisonous Garnish
Tip: Read labels
LOOP #2 – "Death by Relic"
This time, I avoided herbs. I avoided cooking. I drank banana milk for five straight days.
But curiosity kills more than cats.
I found a glowing artifact in an abandoned church dungeon. It was floating, humming softly, and had text above it that literally read:
[FORBIDDEN RELIC – DO NOT TOUCH]
You'd think that would stop me.
But no. I thought, What if it gives me powers?
So I poked it with a chopstick.
The entire church imploded into a pillar of light. I flew backward. My body disintegrated in slow motion, like CGI on a bad budget.
My last words were:
"Hyung, tell my story… and hide my browser history."
Cause of Death: Exploding Curiosity
Tip: Touch grass, not relics.
LOOP #3 – "Death by Nap Time"
This one was tragic. Almost beautiful, if you ignored the part where I snored myself into a beast's belly.
I had made real progress—leveled up, trained, even saved a kid from a goblin. People called me "Hyungnim of the Rift." Things were looking up.
Then I got sleepy.
There was a dungeon ruin in Incheon. Quiet. Warm. Perfect napping temperature.
So I climbed into a giant stone bowl I assumed was a bath or something and knocked out for a quick ten minutes.
Except it wasn't a bath.
It was the nostril of a dormant dungeon beast.
I woke up to the sound of it sneezing… and swallowing me.
My death was logged as:
Cause of Death: Internal Beast Nap
Tip: Do not sleep in unfamiliar orifices.
LOOP #999 – "Death by Stew. Again."
Fast-forward 996 more loops. I had tried everything.
Swordsmanship. Magic. Alchemy. Being a monk. Being a mime.
All roads led to the same destination: me dying before the Merge.
Now in Loop #999, I thought I was ready. All I had to do was complete a final cooking quest:
Quest: Cook a full-course meal using ingredients from Zones 16 to 19.
Time Remaining: 1 hour.
Penalty for Failure: Permanent Death.
I had the gear. The recipe. Even an enchanted apron that whispered motivational quotes.
My kitchen in Seoul was boiling with energy. Literally. My stew was steaming. Rich aroma filled the air.
And there it was again. Floating in the broth.
That damn herb.
Sleeping Crocus.
I knew better. I swear, I knew better.
But I had grown cocky. I thought I could neutralize it. Cook it perfectly. This was my final loop. I had to prove something.
So I chopped it. Seasoned it. Whispered apologies to my ancestors.
Then I tasted it.
Big mistake.
Instant regret.
My legs gave out. My vision did a slow Instagram filter fade. I collapsed face-first into the pot, bubbling broth swallowing my head like a warm, angry bathtub.
I snored.
For 59 minutes.
Kevin, my enchanted spatula, didn't even try to save me. "Serves you right," he muttered from the sink.
Then the timer beeped.
Quest Failed.
Cause of Death: Soup Immersion and Time Mismanagement
Death Count: 999
My body exploded into confetti.
The universe threw me a pity party
LOOP #1000 – "One Last Dish"
I jolted upright in bed. Sweat pouring down my face.
Rooftop apartment. Same moldy ceiling. Same cockroach crawling across my light switch.
I blinked at the date on my phone.
July 2. 266 days before the Merge.
"…Again."
My stomach growled louder than a B-rank wyvern.
I crawled to the fridge, opened it.
Inside: a carton of expired milk, a sad boiled egg, and a packet labeled:
[Sleeping Crocus – Best Served With Death]
I slammed it shut like it personally insulted my ancestors.
"I'm done," I muttered. "No more dying. No more relics. No more spicy stew of doom."
This time… I had a new plan.
I pulled out my notebook. Page 999 was a mess of scribbles and failed strategies.
But page 1000? Blank.
Until I wrote:
PLAN FOR LOOP #1000
1. Avoid all glowing objects.
2. Ignore every mysterious old man.
3. Do not eat herbs that sparkle.
4. Open a restaurant.
Yes.
If I couldn't survive as a warrior or a hero, then I'd live as a chef.
The world was going to Merge anyway. Dungeon monsters, rift anomalies, cosmic weirdos… they were inevitable.
But people would still be hungry.
So I'd feed them.
Ramyeon for the raiders. Dumplings for the desperate. Spicy stew for the stressed—without poison, this time.
Just then, the System dinged.
>>>You have chosen the Path of Peace.
>>>New Class Assigned: [Cosmic Chef 🍜]
>>>Unique Title Acquired: "The One Who Gave Up (Respectfully)"
>>>Passive Skills Unlocked:
[Loop Memory Retention: MAX]
[Fridge of Endless Leftovers Lv.1]
[Kevin the Talking Spatula (Bound)]
[Cosmic Conductor (New): When HP drops to 1, death is negated once per life-or-death event. Cooldown: 24 hours.]
System Note: Finally. Took you long enough.
I stared at the skill.
Cosmic Conductor. Immunity to death.
One chance to live through anything—if I played it smart.
I grinned. For the first time in centuries.
This time, I wasn't going to die making stew.
I was going to survive this loop.
And open the best damn restaurant in the middle of the apocalypse.