The last thing Zhao Tian remembered was the satisfying crunch of the Heavenly Dao beneath his feet.
He had done it—transcended the God Realms, absorbed all Nine Supreme Laws, fused with the Eternal Core of Creation, and written his name across the cosmos in golden flaming calligraphy that said, "Zhao Tian Was Here."
He was ready for retirement. Maybe open a tea shop on a floating mountain. Watch mortal drama for fun.
Instead, he woke up in a pink bed, surrounded by stuffed rabbits.
And worst of all… he had boobs.
"...What the actual nine-layered hell," he muttered, staring down at his newly feminized body. Slender arms. Soft legs. Glossy black hair that curled down to his waist. His voice—now high-pitched and disturbingly cute—sounded like a spirit beast trying to flirt.
A holographic notification window popped up in front of him with the cheerful jingle of a smartphone ad.
[You have been successfully reincarnated!]
[Due to a multiversal glitch, nine systems have bound to your soul. Have fun!]
"Glitch?!" Zhao Tian sat up so fast he headbutted a stuffed panda. "I was about to transcend existence! Why am I in a room decorated like a ten-year-old princess?!"
More popups exploded in his face like fireworks at a drunk cultivator's birthday party.
[Supreme Harem System Activated!]
You must gather at least 9 lovers from 9 realms within 9 months, or your soul will be deleted.Current Harem Status: 0/9 (Pathetic)
[Super DNA System Online!]
Absorb beast genes to evolve your body! Warning: mutations may occur.First Mutation: "Thighs of Heavenly Seduction"
[Upper Tier Providence System Installed!]
All misfortunes are redirected to people near you. Side effects include guilt, explosions, and incredibly dumb luck.
[SpiritPhone Interface Loaded!]
Syncing with school apps...Updating social karma score...You are currently ranked: #9734, titled "Bottom Feeder."
[Corporate Cultivation System Booting...]
Congratulations! You are now the acting CEO of DaoMart.Board meeting in 5 minutes.
[Son-in-Law Plot Initialized!]
You are now accidentally married to Miss Yin Xue'er of the Yin Clan.She does not know this yet. Good luck.
Zhao Tian screamed into a pillow. It smelled like lavender. He hated it.
"System, pause. Cancel. Close window. FORCE QUIT."
Command denied. You must complete at least one mission to unlock free will.
"No! This is illegal even by heavenly law!"
[New Mission: Attend Your First Day at Heavenly Dao High! Don't die.]
Zhao Tian groaned and rolled out of bed. His reflection in the mirror was both stunning and enraging—a delicate, absurdly attractive teenage girl in a Heavenly Dao High uniform: a short navy skirt, spirit silk blouse, and a phoenix crest sewn on the collar.
The door slammed open.
"Xiao Tian'er! You'll be late for school!" called a sweet voice from downstairs.
"Xiao... Tian'er?" Zhao Tian's eye twitched.
The systems had even changed his name.
[Scene: Outside Heavenly Dao High]
Floating above the clouds was a massive golden campus, shaped like a dragon coiled around a lotus. Cultivators flew on flying swords, spirit pets barked and barked, and half the students had glowing halos, wings, or pocket dimensions hanging off their belts.
A bus shaped like a giant turtle pulled up behind him and ejected a screaming student mid-air.
Zhao Tian squinted at the gates, which were larger than palaces. Engraved above them were the words:
"Only The Worthy May Ascend — All Others Must Retake the Entrance Exam"
A cultivator janitor stood near the entrance, sweeping with a broom that occasionally exploded into flames.
Zhao Tian approached cautiously, still adjusting to walking in heels.
A system pinged.
[New Quest: Gain 100 Karma Points by the end of the day.]
Tips: Save someone, insult someone, or defeat a minor god.
"Oh shut up—"
"HEY NEW GIRL!" a voice boomed.
Zhao Tian turned. A flaming tiger leapt from the sky and tackled him.
A tall boy with abs sculpted by divine tribulations landed next. His hair burned like a sun flame, and his sword was labeled "Sponsored by DaoCola."
"I'm Li Jun of the Flame Sect!" the boy said. "First-years must kneel to upperclassmen!"
Zhao Tian blinked.
"I am Zhao Tian, formerly the Supreme God of Ninefold Heaven, Wielder of the Heaven-Smiting Sword, Devourer of Cosmic Dragons, and—currently—a pissed off high school girl."
Li Jun laughed. "Haha, cute intro. Kneel."
Zhao Tian's eyebrow twitched. Then his palm casually slapped the air.
BOOM.
Li Jun was blown fifty meters into the wall of the nearest building, creating a new exit in the cafeteria.
[Upper Tier Providence activated. Nearby arrogant character has suffered misfortune in your place.]
[Harem +5 Points: Nearby female cultivators are impressed.]
[Reputation: +100. Title earned: "Transfer Tyrant."]
A group of students stared. Then one girl with bunny ears blushed furiously.
"Who is she?! She's… amazing…"
"She just slapped the Flame Prince!"
"Wait—is she single?!"
Zhao Tian sighed. "I hate everything."
[Incoming call: Yin Clan Matriarch]
"Congratulations on marrying my granddaughter. You better be rich."
"…I'm going back to bed."