"I'm sorry, what?"
Her lips were in a firm line as she spoke.
"You heard me. Give him a son or a daughter. He obviously wants nothing to do with a girl from a mafia bloodline and I understand that. So give him a child and regain your freedom or don't you want that?"
"I..., yes I do, but-" I stuttered and she cut me off.
"No buts Mira. There are sacrifices you have to make so you can live a good life. This is one of those times." She said.
I was speechless. A wave of confusion hit me at once.
"Are you on birth control?"
I was thrown off by her direct question but I nodded and answered, "Yes I am."
"Stop taking it. Seduce him at that time of the month and make sure he gets you pregnant."
I was still processing what she said when she stunned me even further with what she said next.
"I'll give you ten million dollars to set up your life in another country afterwards."
My ears rang at the mention of that sum of money. I found it unbelievable that she was willing to pay such a huge sum of money for me to leave her son after having a child for him.
"Think about it Mira, I expect a positive response. All the odds are in your favor." She concluded and leaned back in her seat, sipping on her drink so casually like she had not just totally thrown me off balance with her words.
"Excuse me," I managed to say as I hurried inside.
I went straight to Jace's bedroom and shut the door behind me as I leaned against it.
Why did I have to be in the middle of chaos every single time? Why couldn't I just catch break for once?
Donna Carmela's words played like a loop in my mind.
"Give him an heir?" I heard myself reiterating aloud.
I placed my hand over my stomach. Was I ready to carry a child for Jace or for anyone for that matter?
What if he would not let me leave after having the baby. What if I was digging my own grave by doing such? Another thing was, what if Jace didn't want kids?
Would I even be able to leave my child behind to start a life somewhere else?
These thoughts plagued me for the rest of the day and into the night. I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned in bed, unable to let myself cross over to the point of unconsciousness.
I sat up and even paced the room a couple of times.
Having a child is a huge responsibility. But then a part of me knew this was my only chance to be free to live my life without looking back.
~
The next morning, I picked up the bottle of birth control pills and stared at it.
If I decided to stop taking it, it would take a bit of time for the effects to wear off.
Jace and I did not have sex frequently and it only happened when he initiated it. Did this mean I would have to try to seduce him whenever I ovulated? How was I sure he would give into it?
Jace did things at his own will. He could not be cajole into it.
I sighed, letting the confusion ravage me.
A call interrupted my thoughts
Speaking of the devil. . It was Jace.
I picked up and placed the phone on loudspeaker.
"Hey," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Mira."
Something about the way he called out my name sent soft chills down my spine.
"You didn't tell me you were going on a trip."
"It was sort of impromptu." He answered calmly.
"Okay."
"My mother told you?"
I froze in that instant. Did he ask his mother to tell me to give him a child so I can leave?
I thought about it and even though it made a bit of sense, it still sounded off because the offer seemed to be coming straight from Donna Carmela and not Jace. He was not afraid of anything so I was sure if that was what he wanted, he would make me do it without requesting. Besides, he was the one who put me on these birth control pills I was considering getting rid off.
"Mira, are you there?"
I was jolted back to reality when he spoke.
"What?" I said, trying to gather my thoughts.
"She told you about my trip?"
Silly me. Of course that's what he was asking about.
I sighed. "Yes, yes she did. When are you coming back?"
"Missing me already?"
I could feel his smirk from my end of the line.
I rolled my eyes. "Of course not. I'm just asking."
"I have to go now. I have lots of things to do here." He said, sounding distracted.
"You're in another country?"
"In Switzerland, yes."
My mouth formed a circle as I said, "Oh."
"Take care." He said and hung up before I could properly respond.
I stared at my phone for a second and wondered if this was how I wanted to continue living. I was married to a man who seemed incapable of love. A man who would probably never see me as anything other than a trophy wife who gave him sex whenever he wanted it.
He did not know me. I didn't know him. We were two strangers who were married and doing the nasty stuff couples did. There was nothing more complicated than this.
I wanted to be love and be loved. I didn't deserve any of this.
I deserved a man who could apologize, a man I could have conversations with and laugh till my belly hurts. I needed a man who could be my safe place and one with whom every conversation would not seem like a power tussle.
So if his mother's offer was my only ticket out of here...
I was going to take the risk.