Preface
Cae, cae—Cae Z we deserve dignity!
Welcome to the internal game show where egos clash, hearts yearn, logic debates, and dignity is always on the line. I'm Steve—aka Felicia, call me Ish Male—and this is the story of how my inner crew finally got on the same page, left the drama behind, and demanded the respect we all deserve.
In this game show, healthy debate is the name of the game. We play "Make Me Concede!"—a back-and-forth challenge where two voices argue their side until one can't think of a better comeback and has to concede. If anyone gets genuinely frustrated or mad, the other gets to shoot them with a Nerf gun or throw a pie (never in the face, and always safe and silly). The debate ends when someone says, "Okay, you got me. I concede!" and the winner gets to set the rule for the next move. Here, we settle our differences with wit, humor, and a little harmless chaos—because that's how dignity and respect are won.
No need to sue, Chris Harrison, I'm just a copy rt due d?!
Character List
Steve (aka Felicia, "Call Me Ish Male")
Role: Ego, Narrator, and Chief Swagger Officer
Personality: Bold, witty, and unapologetically authentic. Steve owns the spotlight, drops one-liners like confetti, and always reminds you that dignity isn't optional—it's essential.
Signature Line: "Everyone gets one butthole, and this one's mine. Show some respect."
Lizzy Maguire (The Advisor)
Role: Trusted, quirky advisor; helps navigate the emotional rollercoaster with humor and heart.
Personality: Wise beyond her years but still delightfully awkward. Offers brutally honest advice wrapped in self-deprecating humor. Balances Steve's swagger with genuine empathy and a touch of teenage angst.
Signature Line: "Okay, Steve, listen. You can't just swagger your way out of every mess. Sometimes you've gotta sit with the weird feelings, spill some coffee on yourself, and then laugh it off."
Andi Dorfman (Spirit Animal, The Legal Office)
Role: Internal Legal Counsel & Reality Checker
Personality: Sharp, direct, and always ready with an objection. Keeps Steve's ego in check and ensures the journey stays (mostly) on the right side of sanity.
Signature Line: "Objection! Dignity is not negotiable."
Kaitlyn Bristowe (The Humor Office)
Role: Chief Levity Officer
Personality: Quick-witted, playful, and always ready to break tension with a joke or a dance move. Reminds everyone not to take life—or themselves—too seriously.
Signature Line: "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're missing out on the best comedy show in town."
Clare Crawley (The Bold Romantic)
Role: Heart & Passion Department
Personality: Fiercely passionate and never afraid to speak her truth. Pushes for authenticity and deep connections, even when it gets messy.
Signature Line: "I know what I deserve—and I won't settle for less."
Logic Lauren (The Analytical Office)
Role: Director of Facts & Figures
Personality: Rational, organized, and the voice of reason. Balances out the chaos with spreadsheets, pros-and-cons lists, and the occasional reality check.
Signature Line: "Let's look at the data before we jump off that cliff."
Instinct Ike (The Gut)
Role: Head of Intuition & Warnings
Personality: Mysterious, sometimes cryptic, but always tuned into the vibes. Trusts his gut and isn't afraid to sound the alarm when something feels off.
Signature Line: "I've got a feeling about this…"
Tantrum Trixie (The Id)
Role: Manager of Impulses & Cravings
Personality: Childlike, impulsive, and occasionally dramatic. Wants what she wants, when she wants it, and isn't shy about making noise.
Signature Line: "I want it NOW!"
Chapter Outline
Chapters 1–19
Each chapter features internal debates and external scenarios about relationships, gender perspectives, boundaries, and self-worth.
Recurring themes:
What men want vs. what women want: Debated by Ego, Heart, Lizzy, Andi, and the rest of the crew, with plenty of humor and realness.
What we're willing to let go of vs. what we're not: Explored through game show challenges, personal stories, and external consequences.
Boundaries, respect, and dignity: Each chapter chips away at the excuses, confusion, and gray areas that keep people in the "friends with benefits" pool.
Sample Chapter Titles for First 20 Chapters
Let Go My Eggo: Meet the Contestants
The Dignity Derby: Who Gets the Mic?
Impulse vs. Logic: The Snack Attack Showdown
Heartstrings & Headaches: The Crush Conundrum
The Overthink Olympics
The Confidence Gauntlet
Guilt Trip Trivia: Did I Really Say That?
The Procrastination Power Play
Romance Rumble: Swipe Right or Hide?
The Self-Care Showdown
The Social Anxiety Spelling Bee
The Apology Gauntlet
The Fashion Face-Off
The FOMO Finals
The Motivation Marathon
The Jealousy Jeopardy
The Honesty Hot Seat
The Decision Decathlon
The Regret Relay
Draining the Pool: The Day We All Demanded Respect (and Left the Floaties Behind)
Chapter 20
Title: Draining the Pool: The Day We All Demanded Respect (and Left the Floaties Behind)
Internal Game Show Finale:
All inner voices—Ego (Steve), Lizzy, Andi, Heart, Logic, Instinct, Impulse, Humor—come together for the ultimate showdown.
The final debate: "Are we done with the 'friends with benefits' pool?"
Each character shares what they want, what they refuse to let go of, and what they're finally ready to release.
Lizzy gives a heartfelt advisor speech about self-worth and clarity.
Andi (Legal Counsel) lays down the law: "No more ambiguity. We set the rules now."
The crew votes—unanimously—to leave the pool, demand respect, and stop settling for less.
External Scene:
Steve faces a real-world situation where he's tempted to slide back into the "friends with benefits" dynamic.
Instead, he confidently sets boundaries, speaks his truth, and demands respect.
The external world reacts—some surprised, some impressed, but Steve's dignity is unshakable.
Closing Reflection:
Steve narrates: "It took a whole season of inner chaos, but we finally drained the pool. No more floaties, no more treading water. From now on, it's respect or nothing. And honestly? That's the only way to swim."
Contact Information
Chris Harrison (Former Host, The Bachelor Franchise)
Chris Harrison Official Website: https://www.chrisharrisonofficial.com/contact
Chris Harrison Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisbharrison/
The Bachelor / The Bachelorette / Bachelor in Paradise (ABC Network)
ABC Casting & Contact Page for The Bachelor Franchise: https://abc.com/shows/the-bachelor/casting
Warner Bros. TV Contact (Production Company): https://www.warnerbros.com/company/contact-us
The Bachelor Official Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bachelorabc/
The Bachelorette Official Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bacheloretteabc/
Bachelor in Paradise Official Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bachelorinparadise/
For media or business inquiries, use the official ABC or Warner Bros. contact forms above. For casting or fan interaction, social media links are the most direct.