Dreams are curious things; anything can happen in one, from the simplest to the most extraordinary.
And that's why I admit I'm surprised I don't remember any when I wake up with my face on the apartment floor.
I thought I'd have dreams about Kaneki's life because, you know, I chose to have his memories, but I didn't dream about anything, or at least I don't remember doing so.
I didn't dream about how Kaneki died (how I killed him). I didn't dream about his fallen body bleeding out on the same floor where I slept, nor about the air that left his lungs when I stabbed him, much less about his tears falling onto my left hand.
It was just dreamless nothingness, a comfortable and peaceful rest as if I hadn't murdered anyone yesterday, as if it were just another normal day.
"Ugh, well, not so comfortable," I groan as I get up from the cold floor to rub my tits. "Well-endowed women can't sleep face down, I understand. Now I understand my ex better."
With that in mind, I pick up yesterday's shopping bag and leave it on the table on my way to the bathroom.
After all, I arrived yesterday, but I spent who knows how long I was on the floor in that alley, and then even longer all night in a hallway that, although clean (apparently, Kaneki was a neat freak, who would have thought?), a shower would make me feel much better.
Entering the bathroom, I quickly undressed, throwing my clothes on the floor wherever I went.
But I stopped when I saw myself in the mirror for the first time. I couldn't help but stare at my completely bare curves, my eyes, and my hair.
My hair, as I'd already noticed, is white, even with all the dirt and dust that must have been tangled in it. It was still pearly white, but now, after using *Possession* on Kaneki, my tips have turned black; yesterday, I let this change happen as a reminder of the beginning of my journey.
But I'm not focusing on my new tips. I already knew I was beautiful, but I hadn't paid enough attention to my figure. I have the classic hourglass figure, although perhaps a little wider at the hips.
My breasts, on the other hand, are large, but they weren't immune to gravity. They weren't saggy or anything like that, although they should have been, given their weight, but they did have a nice teardrop shape with large, lovely pink nipples at the tips.
My abdomen, on the other hand, isn't muscular or excessively fat, but a shape that can only be achieved with healthy care, without going to the gym.
Further down, my hips are wider than my firm shoulders, with no visible marks due to their size.
And between my legs, I can see that the curtains do indeed match the carpet. As I turn, I look over my shoulder to see my butt. It turns out to be large, a little fat, yes, but with a nice peach or heart shape from what I could see when I bent at the waist.
After some observation, I concluded that my body doesn't have a single scar or birthmark, not a single scar I've earned throughout my former life.
"I'm truly beautiful," she concluded in the mirror as she smiled over my shoulder.
splash splash
I sigh in relief as the cold water hits me and I feel the dirt slough off my body.
"I always preferred warm water when I was a man," I think as I grab the soap to clean myself.
But I realize that bathing as a man is very different from bathing as a woman. I moan loudly when I accidentally touch my nipples for the first time. The hardening only soothes me when I gently rub them with the soap: "Oh, I think I have a little time."
In the end, I have to take another shower to calm down. Unfortunately, it's much colder than the first.
________________________________________
After showering, the clock had barely struck 10 a.m. So I was sitting in front of the computer screen researching everything I could about ghoul anatomy. It was while reading about their latest confirmed cases that I noticed something unusual in my memories.
First, for some reason, I knew where everything was in this apartment, and I also knew the computer password.
Only after thinking about it a little more did I realize I knew all this because I remembered every detail of Kaneki Ken's life.
It wasn't instantaneous, but the more I concentrated, the more I could remember. I hadn't realized before why he went through the motions automatically, but if I concentrated, I could remember his favorite things: his books, his coffee, and even his food. I also knew his entire history, even things that didn't appear in the manga, let alone the anime.
And knowing this, I realized that the many memories of Kaneki's life were intertwined with the few I still retained from my original life.
To the point where I hadn't realized that yes, in fact, I knew everything about Kaneki Ken (much more than I expected to know about a boy, by the way).
That, unfortunately, included his feelings for a certain "gluttonous woman" and his best friend, Hideyoshi.
But it also included a book Kaneki had read several times: a book about murder, black goats, and a mother, all wrapped up in a delightful, H.P. Lovecraft-esque read.
The only reason I wasn't going crazy over a false identity born from Kaneki's fused memories was that, by combining Kaneki's memories with my own, he was replaced by a version of me. So, he remembered his life, but the one who lived it in those memories wasn't him, but a version of me who took his place.
In some strange way I don't want to dwell on, but in everyone's mind, it's not just that *Kaneki Ken* was replaced, but that he never existed, but that *Celestia Astrea* existed, but without taking his place, because he never existed.
Celestia was a sad, lonely girl who barely spoke or interacted with others, and boy was she creepy, but it wasn't her fault.
After all, the girl in my memories was merely a product of my power to fill the void left by Kaneki Ken's nonexistence, and therefore, I didn't need to display such emotions or feelings.
"The good thing about all this is that I now have a new name, although, once again, the chance to choose was taken away from me." I sigh, but the temptation is strong; I don't want it to become a bad habit after all.
The worst part is that the name appears on every document I've ever obtained, from student IDs to birth certificates, so I can't change my name now, though maybe I'll do it in the next world.
"Well, I guess from today on, I'm Celestia Astrea, proud owner of a first and last name related to the stars—(and how ironic!)" Although it's annoying, she smiled, as this is my first step in a new life. "But seriously, having my power name me after the Greek goddess of justice, purity, and innocence is funny."
I laugh at the thought; after all, I'm no saint.
"Kaneki, on the other hand, had something like *Organ Transplant Compatibility*, something that even existed in my world." It was very rare, but not unheard of. "Those lucky ones could easily receive a transplant of any organ because they were born with good genetics, took care of their bodies, and have universal blood."
"With that in mind, I could follow canon and use Rize Kamishiro. That's why I killed the protagonist, after all. But now I could use any other ghoul," I think, tapping my chin with my hand. "In that case, the best choice would definitely be Eto *The One-Eyed Owl*; after all, both she and her father developed a Kakuja with a full suit of armor. (And no, I didn't choose her just because said armor is epic.)"
He smiled, concentrating on my options, but considering everything in the end.
"Only children make decisions. I'm an adult, so I'll make them all," I decide, a laugh escaping my lips. "I'll get Rize's Rinkaku and then Eto's Ukaku. As for the other two, I'll consider other options."
After making my decision, it was easy to map out a plan of action to achieve my goals. Of course, my first objective is to survive the date with Rize.
The second is to obtain a sample of Eto's Kakuhou, and then the remaining two types to graft the four types of Kagunes onto my body.
The third step is to transform my four Kagunes into Kakujas.
After that, I'll see how things go. If I can fix this world before moving on to the next, of course I will. And if I devour all the idiots causing the "Human-Ghoul" race problem along the way, I don't think anyone will care when there's finally peace.
"But first I need new clothes now that I have money to spend," I stretch before getting up from the desk and grabbing my new bag. "After all, how hard can it be to buy women's clothes?"
I regretted those words as I walked into the first clothing store, knowing only the basics of women's fashion and not even knowing my size.
________________________________________
In the end, I feel defeated at a table in the mall's food court.
Even if I've accomplished everything I set out to do, I'm tired of learning a crash course in clothing and feminine care in less than two hours.
Apparently, the material of both bras and panties is important for women's skin, as certain materials can cause chafing in very uncomfortable areas.
Which brings me to a much more important point: I remember choosing the male gender when I killed Kaneki, but I'm still very feminine, or so I think. I played with my stars' mental triggers a bit, and thanks to my *intuitive aptitude*, I was able to learn that while I can't change bodies, I should have gotten my penis back, or some equivalent.
But where is said penis? I have no idea. In the end, it's just another thing on the ever-growing to-do list.
In addition to learning about intimate care and finding out if this body has a menstrual cycle, something I pray and hope I don't have, but unfortunately, my hopes are slim at the moment.
The good news is that I got some nice clothes. I'm now wearing white pants and a black leather corset-style top that flatters my large breasts.
*(Same outfit as the cover)*
"And now I understand why women like to dress sexy even when they don't like being stared at," I think as I watch some older women make faces at me. "It feels good, how your beauty catches everyone's attention and makes the Karens in the neighborhood look at you with jealousy."
I smile at the jealous women whispering loudly behind my back. "It really boosts your self-esteem."
"So the black goat had more than one baby. Somehow, this doesn't surprise me." The goat mentioned is from the new book by my memory self's favorite author, Takatsuki Sen, but, once again, the book only reminds me of Lovecraft, which makes me increasingly uncomfortable.
In the end, I decided to buy only practical clothes: sturdy black pants, colorful blouses, and two black leather corsets like the one I'm wearing now.
But what really cost me the most were the books. Unlike Kaneki's favorites for literature or recreational reading, mine are about natural sciences, mechanics, languages, mathematics, and even art, music, and gardening.
"Time to test my intuition," he smiled mischievously, looking at the language books. "Let's find out what the limits of my learning capacity are."
________________________________________
Later that night, it turned out that *a lot* was the correct answer when I closed the gardening book.
At first, I studied Chinese with the basic textbooks I had purchased and then looked for Chinese courses online, which greatly accelerated my understanding.
Now, at nine o'clock at night, almost ten hours after I started, I speak fluent Chinese, Thai, Spanish, French, and Latin (albeit with a slight accent), and I've finished every book I could find on mechanics, mathematics, and philosophy, plus a good portion of the gardening section.
"I knew Sylar was a fast learner, but this is ridiculous." And he truly was, because while he wasn't yet a master or expert in the subjects he had been studying, he had the potential to become one with more time, something that was only confirmed when I switched from studying to physically training with the help of the internet.
Right now, I practice capoeira and have already mastered the basics of boxing and judo.
If someone were to observe me, they'd think I'd been training martial arts for months, not just a few hours.
"I only need to learn kung fu to understand the Matrix references." I laugh at my own joke, even though I'm aware that my untrained body can't keep up with my learning, and it makes sense. If I remember correctly, this body only took care of itself enough to be healthy—a very good thing—but not enough to train at the level I desired.
"After all, foundations are the pillars of society. As soon as I recover from surgery, I'll get to work on the basics." I look at the calendar with the first 15 days marked.
"In less than a week, Rize Kamishiro will binge at the aquarium building, the place where the first episode of the anime begins." And if I remember correctly, this is also the first time Jason Yamori interrupts Rize's meal.
"And just a day later, she arrives at Anteiku as if nothing had happened, but still hungry." I remember, trying to recall the reason Kaneki went out with Rize. "Kaneki asked her out only because he realized they both liked the author Takatsuki Sen."
I finally remember a while later, "The signal will be the aquarium news. When it comes out, I'll be waiting for her at Anteiku." I close my eyes, thinking about the next steps, and continue. "I'll only have one chance, and it has to be perfect. I won't let anyone interfere with my plans."
Without Celestia noticing, as soon as she finished her promise, the room darkened for a moment around her.
________________________________________
For the rest of the week, Celestia continued studying all the subjects she could, this time covering Chemistry and Biology, with a special emphasis on Medicine, and of course, without neglecting her martial arts training.
Always with half her attention focused on the television, which was on the same news channel all day, patiently waiting for news about the altercation at the aquarium building.
Of course, with how busy she was, she barely left the apartment, and when she did, it was to train in a nearby park. Kaneki's best friend, a boy named Hideyoshi, invited her out daily, and Solo managed to avoid suspicion when she told him she was sick, the same reason she gave the university for her constant absences.
During that week, she only left her training a couple of times, with the purpose of scouting the best locations for her date and finding the construction site where the "Steel Beam Accident" would occur.
After all, even if he tries to kill me in the end, it doesn't mean I have to misbehave on our date. With a determined smile, she planned an unforgettable date.
Celestia continued with the same routine until Saturday, October 11, 2020.
When, early in the morning, the television blared a report about a ghoul sighting and its terrifying effects on a certain downtown building.
________________________________________
That Saturday morning, Celestia got ready as if it were a normal day.
She wore a simple red T-shirt, black pants, and old sneakers—the same ones she'd arrived in this world with—and only a small backpack over her shoulder, where she'd kept her wallet and the most important item for the date: a white hardcover book with a bold title.
*The Black Goat's Egg* read on the cover in large, easy-to-read letters, as if proclaiming its presence to anyone who saw it, so that they'd notice its importance to the plot—or rather, the importance of its author in it.
Taking a deep breath, she walked purposefully out of the apartment, heading for Café Anteiku, home to the peaceful ghouls of District 20.
She only took her eyes off the road when she received a text on her phone. It was from her only friend, Hideyoshi, saying he was on his way to the café.
"Though his crush on me is a bit too obvious," she thought as she continued walking.
Shortly after, taking a deep breath, he opened the door to Anteiku. The delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the first step.
On his second step, he was already looking for a table and found one available to his right. The exact table he was looking for was next to the window overlooking the street and offering a view of the entire establishment.
The same table where Keneki sat for weeks just to be able to see Rize.
While he waited, he took the book out of his backpack.
"I always thought it would be a story with no substance or a bland plot, but it's actually very interesting," he said softly, practicing what he planned to say when he started talking to Rize while recalling what he knew from the book.
The story centers on the relationship between a young man and his mother, a serial killer known as "The Black Goat."
But noticing something the people of this world didn't know, or perhaps ignored completely, that serial killer had an incredible affinity with the depiction of a fictional goddess from her original world, written by Lovecraft *The Black Goat of the Wood with a Thousand Young*, and they even share a common name.
"Honestly, it's a little awkward to think about that author, especially when I arrived here through a stellar void with a giant tentacled monster. And well, I don't think it's so fictional anymore. After all, I'm in an anime now, so Shub-Niggurath definitely exists somewhere," she murmurs softly, ignoring how the window next to her shakes and shows things that don't exist.
"Good morning, do you want to order now?" The speaker turned out to be a beautiful young woman, with blue hair in a bob and beautiful blue eyes.
The main heroine of the anime, Touka Kirishima, and a ghoul with a ukaku-type kagune.
When I looked into her eyes, I truly understood why Keneki had fallen for her. There was something about her that, even without knowing her, compelled you to pay attention, although it could also be that Kaneki had been harboring a slight crush on her for a while.
"Good morning, just a white Mocha, please," Celestia replies with a relaxed smile. She looks up from her book.
"Oh," Touka murmurs, sniffing slightly and tilting her head in confusion.
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"A white chocolate mocha," I repeat, making her notice me. She blushes slightly before writing down the order and leaving with a small, "I'll get it right away."
My smile widens as I watch her leave, not only because I see her back to me in that tight skirt, but also because one of my preparations is working.
Part of my research last week was based on animals and their ways of alerting each other through smell.
As a result, thanks to my power and my newfound biological knowledge, I managed to control the apocrine sweat glands, the same glands responsible for sweat in humans. With a little practice and a specific diet, I managed to make my sweat smell like coffee with an aftertaste of fresh blood. (Literally, my glands smell like freshly brewed coffee, and as I concentrate, my pores expel a small amount of blood, which mixes with the coffee's aroma. The diet, on the other hand, is to make my blood taste better.)
Sure, I can't produce mind-control pheromones or anything like that, but I can change my scent or hide it almost completely, and right now I should smell delicious to my prey, or at least I hope so.
CLICK
The door opening snaps me out of my thoughts, but the person walking in isn't my target.
But Hideyoshi, who walks straight toward me as soon as he notices me.
"Celestia, I thought you'd never leave your house again." He smiles as he speaks, but I see his eyes flick to my lips and then to my breasts.
I roll my eyes before motioning for him to sit across from me instead of next to me, which, thankfully, he does.
"Hideyoshi, I see you're fine," I reply, but otherwise my attention is almost exclusively on the door, waiting for my predator.
"How cruel. You know I've been worried about you these past few days," she continues before noticing my gaze fixed on the door. "You're so mean, are you really waiting for someone else?"
I blink before looking at her with a sour face. "Something like that, a beautiful woman usually comes around this time."
"In fact, she's about to come in." My eyes sparkle with joy as she opens the door.
The door doesn't make a sound at her arrival, but when she enters, her presence catches my attention. Her beautiful hair shines in my eyes as she walks toward our table.
Hideyoshi turns toward the door just as she passes us, looking the same as in the anime and wearing the same white summer dress. Yet something was different, not only because she was a real person, but because she was more beautiful than I expected.
"(Besides voluptuous)" The change was small in the big picture, but welcome.
She, for her part, pauses for a moment, almost at my side, her surprised gaze shifting to me, only to be greeted by my smile.
She blushes slightly before smiling back and continues walking toward a table against the wall. I notice she's far enough away to seem oblivious, but close enough that I can still eavesdrop without being noticed.
"Do you know her, Celestia?" I don't see her expression, but I can sense her confusion. After all, the friend she remembers has never been attracted to a woman in her entire life. "(Or a man, for that matter)"
"Umm, not really, but she's very pretty, don't you think?" I don't know if she heard me, but at that moment, Rize returns my gaze, and I return it, only this time I wink at her before looking back at Hideyoshi.
Only to see Hideyoshi staring at me with the funniest goldfish face I've ever seen.
"Pffff," I snort at his eyes and mouth wide open, like they only happen in a comedy anime.
"Here's your white Moka, miss. Enjoy it. If you want anything else, just call me." The voice isn't loud, but it catches my attention immediately. This time, Touka isn't smiling and continues to glance at Rize out of the corner of her eye as she speaks.
"Thanks, but I'm fine for now. I'll call you when my partner comes around." He gives me a small smile before turning around, his hips swaying even more. It's a truly beautiful sight.
"You... you what?" Hideyoshi finally says, snapping out of his shock.
"I said I think she's pretty, Hideyoshi. Are you okay?" I ask, unable to stop myself from smiling, and he looks at me in astonishment, before turning his head in confusion.
"That's the first time I remember seeing you smile," he replies simply, and this time I'm the one blinking in surprise.
That shouldn't have surprised me, but for some reason it was. After all, the version of me in his memories was nothing more than an empty shell, just a replica of a personality to fit into the context of everyone else's.
One of my minor worries, which I hope won't cause any problems, but compared to the lack of response from my magenta star, the lack of personality in the replaced memories seemed more of an annoyance than anything else.
Of course, in comparison, the mass of energy next to my heart worries me much more; after all, it seems to be waiting for something.
"I... I've been feeling better lately." In the end, I can only respond with that, at least without looking even more suspicious, so I decide to change the subject. "Have you tried the White Mocha yet? It's delicious."
Instead of asking more questions, Hideyoshi decided to play along.
"I... I'm happy for you, Celestia." He blinked, understanding, before smiling radiantly. "If you recommend it, I'll order one."
I smiled back, because while I knew Kaneki's memories were bad, I underestimated how bad his childhood was. His mother wasn't a good person; In fact, he mistreated the weak and was a doormat for the strong. Unfortunately, Kaneki fell into the first group.
That's why, even though he's clearly in love with the Celestia of his memories, I still consider him a friend for everything he did for me in those same memories.
Luckily, even though he ordered after me, he was the first to finish. After that, we only spoke briefly about his new roommate before he announced he had something to do.
I said goodbye to him with a lukewarm "see you later" and perhaps the last smile I'll give him for a while.
I close my eyes for a moment and read a short passage from my book, this one appropriately dramatic, before concentrating on finding the perfect moment to talk to Rize.
"He knew he was entering a dark and gloomy world, but he entered it with courage and uncertainty, wondering what would happen if he didn't," I read quietly before meeting Rize's gaze. She was also reading her book, but she was also sniffing a little as she looked at me surreptitiously. "And what she found, she couldn't describe because there were no words to describe what she saw and heard in that place, but she never regretted having entered that cruel and merciless abyss."
At that moment, I realized the time had come, so I finished my coffee in one gulp, letting the sweetness warm my throat before standing up and approaching her.
"Hi, can I sit with you? My roommate decided to leave me early." I gave her my best smile and used my control over my sweat glands to smell as good as possible.
"Mmm," she blushed slightly before smiling brightly, gesturing to the seat across from her. "Go ahead, I don't like eating alone either."
Once again, while Celestia didn't notice, the room brightened a little with her smile, while Rize, for her part, avoided jumping on her right away.
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We've officially entered canon territory, and at the end, the protagonist has a name. 🥳🥳
While she didn't get to choose it herself, it remains to be seen if her plan goes as smoothly as I planned, or if any particular star will ultimately do something. 😅😅
As you'll notice, I've taken liberties with Eto's original book. I don't think it's that relevant, right? 😌