Was I pushed?
I think I was.
I'm falling into this shining pool of water now. My head dips inside first, then my body follows.
Splash!
I hold my breath immediately, and, the first thing I feel inside this water is–
It's fucking hot! It's literally boiling!
I just entered and my skin already feels like it'll soon start peeling.
This kind of heat can't be endured by a four-year-old body. And worst of all... I'm sinking.
***
This pool is bottomless; I've been sinking for a while now, and no matter how much I try to swim upwards I can't.
It's like the current of the water itself is working against me, trying to stop me from swimming upwards.
My hands keep stroking the boiling water, trying to swim up, but it's to no avail. I'm spiraling down this deep abyss of boiling blue mayhem.
Now I know why they all think that I'll die, why they all conclude that I'll never be able to survive this. This is.. pure torture.
I'm supposed to survive this for God knows how long? How is that even possible?
The boiling water is rapidly destroying my skin cells and tissues. The pain is so sharp, I almost mistook it for cold, like frost bite– only it burns.
Oh no, no, no, what!
It's happening now... my skin is peeling like oranges, every single skin on my body.
A gasp of air escapes my mouth, forming bubbles.
The moment my mouth opens, I close it, holding my breath.
The water keeps dragging me down its endless abyss.
As my skin keeps peeling off my body, blood escapes from my skin, but– as soon as the blood comes out; it disappears like it was never there.
The inflammation is widespread throughout my body.. I might get.. what do they call it? Yes. Systemic shock.
***
Every tissue and cell on my skin has peeled off now, I have no skin anymore.
I'm just a sinking mass of bones and muscles.
It's not like I didn't. I tried my best to hold my breath, but.. I– I can't do it anymore.
It feels like I've been here forever, but I can't tell how long it's been. I've lost my sense of time.
I've done the best I could, I can't hold on anymore, it feels like my bones are being scrubbed raw with hot Iron wool.
But to a certain degree, my body has gotten accustomed to the heat.
So even as my skin has been peeled off, I can manage the heat now.
The thing that's bothering me and tugging at my heart is the fact that I know I would die soon. I can feel it.. death is something that I know very well.
Plus, it's inhumanely possible for a person to hold their breath for up to thirty minutes.
I open my mouth and release my nose. My squeezed lungs finally loosen. I'm no longer going to fight it now, whatever happens, happens. It's impossible to escape this water anyway.
But..
Is this how I die? Just like that?! Without even beginning my journey to find a way back to my world? Without even a single hint or clue?! Is this what all my resolve and determination could offer?! No! I won't die!! I refuse!
Memories of the times I spent with Marcelle start playing through my mind like a movie.
The day we first met. God, I was such a depressed slob back then. When we started dating, when we got married.
All the times when we were happy. Even the first time she got pregnant, and the day she gave birth to my first son.
A small tear escapes my right eye, dissolving and disappearing in the water.
Thump Thump Thump Thump
It's my heart. It's drumming. It's telling me something– don't give up. It's telling me that I still have something worth fighting for. Worth living for.
An unexplainable feeling takes over me, my heartbeat intensifies and a lump forms in my throat. Ah– I recognize this feeling. It's rage.
The overwhelming urge to scream engulfs me, but I hold it in, swallowing it to make it a fuel for my survival in this water.
As I swallow the scream, I swallow the boiling water that rushes like a tidal wave into my mouth like it's being vacuumed in too.
It burns my tongue, and my throat feels like it's being torched with flames as the water flows into my stomach.
I hold my breath again.
Whatever made me survive for thirty minutes, would make me survive for another thirty minutes, and another, and another after that! I don't care about the reason!
I shut tightly my eyes– which have been closed for a long time, to avoid the hot boiling water from touching them.
But even as my eyes are shut, the skin on my eyelids has already peeled off.
I control my body in the water and I form a sitting position.
The water current keeps pushing me down like I'm its enemy, but I don't care anymore.
Forget about my pain! Forget about my suffering!
Instead... I'll focus my mind on my past and on my heart and on the reason why I want to keep living!
***
Kugugugugu!
A loud noise echoes throughout the water, making the water ripple and my heart tremble.
An overwhelming sense of anxiety wraps around my body.
What was that noise? I can't even see it. What might it be?
Suddenly... A red hue of light engulfs the surrounding waters. The light is so bright that it's visible even as my eyes are closed.
What's that light?
The light gradually approaches me and the red glow of the light that I see through my shut eyelids increases.
Is there supposed to be light like that in here?
It's quiet now.
The light disappeared before it could even reach me.
[Child, open your eyes.]
A soft feminine voice that seems to come from every direction echoes in the water. I have no idea how one can talk in water.
Who is this? You want me to open my eyes in this boiling water? Do you want me to go blind?
But wait–
The water is no longer hot and boiling.
I didn't notice it before, but ever since I heard that voice, the water around me became of a normal temperature.
And one more thing... I'm no longer sinking.
[Open your eyes and breathe. Do not fear.]
The voice is soothing, like an angel. It sounds like it cannot do any harm, like it belongs to a being that exists only to shield me.
Well, the water is no longer hot so I can afford to open my eyes and see who's speaking to me.
As my eyes open for the first time in a long time, they widen at the sight that lay before me. My jaw slacks.
The reason I didn't feel the boiling water... It's because I'm no longer in the water at all. I'm inside a bubble.
The bubble is shimmering faintly, like the surface of still water holding its breath.
Does this happen to everybody that undergoes the ritual? Why are strange things always happening to me?
My legs stagger as I stand on the bubble. It's been a long time since I used them.
Under my feet, it feels like I'm standing on water.
I turn my focus from my feet to the water outside of my bubble– looking around, trying to see where the owner of the voice that talked to me a second ago came from.
Water. Endless, blue water is all I can see from this bubble. There's no light in sight. Nothing.
Where did the bright red light I saw the other time come from?
"Who are you?"
I'm hoping to get a reply. I want to see the person or the thing that talked to me.
My head and eyes still scouting the waters, looking for any trace of life in this water. Hell, there's no single fish here.
[I am a messenger.]
The voice echoes again. It's like a mixture of different voices, coming from all directions, and I can't pinpoint their exact location.
Just how the hell does someone talk in water?
"Why don't you show yourself, Messenger?"
My voice is firm and steady.
Then...
Shaaaaaaaa
The water just few inches away from my bubble starts boiling intensely.
Little bubbles form all over the area and I can feel the rising heat under my feet.
In the middle of the little bubbles forming in the water, there's...?
???
What? How is that possible?
There's fire. Flickering, crackling and dancing.
The fire is slowly and gradually increasing, burning brightly and ferociously in the water.
As the fire increases, it wraps around an unidentifiable entity like a blanket.
KRAAOOM!
The water quakes. A wave of pressure thrums through the deep like a divine heartbeat.
I crouch low.
My bubble shakes and shifts back from the wave of the vibration.
My eyes narrow as I spot the magnificent being in front of me.
It's a giant bird made of flames.
Its entire body is covered in flames of fire.
Its eyes, legs, wings, beak. Everything about it is fire itself.
The giant flame bird stretches its wings, causing a heat wave to erupt in the waters.
The flame balls which I assume are its eyes lock with mine.
This is a fantasy-like world and I know it.. but...
"What are you?"
Pause. Then...
[My name is Reliana, Guardian of the flame of eternity. I am the Phoenix of eternity.]
The Voice is still scattered, and it no longer carries the softness it once did.
Its voice is stern and graceful now. And the bird gives off a strong, otherworldly feeling.
It's like– it's like a deity that just descended on the mortal world.
"Phoenix?"