Chapter 6: "Fleeing the Flavor Front"
After nearly drowning in what turned out to be the palace's gravy moat, we crawl ashore—sticky, exhausted, and still dodging acorns that whistle past our heads like cursed projectiles of doom.
> "I smell like shame and thyme," I groan.
> "You always smell like that," Arcanos replies. "Just now it's seasonal."
> "Is this the end of the Goblin-Duck Culinary Alliance?" Grubnuk asks solemnly.
> "They got wrecked by squirrels in under ten minutes," I mutter. "We never even got to try Cheese Law."
We stumble into the forest, trying not to leave gravy footprints.
By nightfall, we find shelter: a cozy, oddly steamy cave shaped like a ladle.
> "Is this..." I squint. "A soup cave?"
> "Yup," Arcanos confirms. "Soup caves are rare. Sacred. Weird. Usually run by hermits, culinary exiles, or failed alchemists who tried to turn broth into gold."
A pot clanks inside.
Then, out steps a towering man with wild eyes, a ladle for a belt, and a necklace made of tiny soup cans.
> "Name's Denton," he says. "Ex-cannibal. Now therapist. Also soup artisan."
I blink. "Ex-what?"
> "Don't worry. I only eat metaphorical pain now."
Grubnuk, already sipping something from a bowl: "Mmm. Trauma stew. Tastes like childhood repression and basil."
We collapse by the fire.
> "We need to come up with a plan," I mumble.
> "Here's my plan," Arcanos says, laying flat. "Don't die. Try soup. Possibly fake identity."
Denton hands me a wooden spoon and says softly:
> "You've seen the flavor wars. But have you seen... yourself?"
> "Sir, with all due respect, I was just chased into a river by military squirrels screaming about baguettes. I don't think now is the time for soup-based enlightenment."
> "That's exactly when it matters most," he replies, ladle glowing with quiet understanding.
The wind howls outside. The trees shake with squirrel war drums. Inside the soup cave, the three of us stare at bowls that somehow smell like regret, hope, and oregano.
> "...I hate how comforting this is," I mutter.
> "Welcome to rock bottom," Arcanos says. "Soup edition."
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End of Chapter 6 (simmered in safety... for now).