Alright, I'm done saving the world from what could have been the biggest blacklight disaster issue ever!
Now my room is squeaky clean.
Time to head down for the bath, then to the refrigerator to eat my Mom's breakfast.
Well, she is an average cook, but for Japanese dishes, she is better than me... I mostly made western style meals from Earth zero.
It is very bizarre to get a whole new set of routines from my past-life thrown in there.
Like in Japan, they like to shower and soap before entering the tub for a nice hot soak.
"Meh, When in Rome!"
-
A while later, and no I didn't fall asleep, almost drowned, and would meet Big G again.... Damn.
Anyway I got to the fridge and opened it... What do I see, birthday balloons coming out of the damn refrigerator!
"You got me, Mom!"
Ah, She left me last night's stir-fry, and a slice of cake, with a candle in it that reads... [Happy Birthday Super Stud!]
Foosh~! Then I blew out the candle.
"Okay, I won't send my parents away."
-
Now what did she say before she left?
"That's right, Mom said... Mow that damn lawn or she would pimp my tight ass out to the neighbor's kid!"
I shudder just thinking about that female sumo-wrestler!
Alright, where is that lawn mower?
-
I'm currently heading to the backyard shed to do my work, before the noon sun peaks and gets me all dirty again...
"Sigh, Manual labor on my big day!"
Buzz~! When I opened the shed-door and was about to pull the mower out, this funky sensation tingled in my spine and eyes!
That really made me freak out just a bit.
"What the hell was that, Spidey Sense?!"
I had this sudden urge to put the mower back, go to my room, and pack all my DVD porn in 2 boxes?
And I should do it before Issei and Motohama show up.
Okay, I feel like I just lost my marbles... This feeling or urge isn't making me do it, but it's like I have this feeling that if I don't do it, I will regret it later.
"Let's do this, I'm in the world of the supernatural, and I need to go with the flow!"
I push the mower back in, and rush to my room....
-
After finding a pair of boxes from my Dad's job, I started to split my treasures, I mean garbage-porn into the boxes...
"Damn man, past self's love of Porn and Loli!"
All of a sudden, that feeling returned like it was saying... 'Good job now, take them to the living room', so I did just that.
Then when I did it, I received that feeling of a job well done.
So after finishing my first system quest in this world, I decided to go finish the yard work again...
-
However, I was stopped in front of the shed again...
Now that I understand this feeling better, I tried decoding it in my heart.
"From what I can tell... I should just go in my living room and watch TV till the boys show up!"
And so I did just that...
-
Ding Dong~♪! About lunch time, the doorbell rang informing the master of the house, me, that the help had arrived.
Ding Dong~♪! So I slowly go to the front door, letting them ring a few more times, just to piss them off a bit...
Then I say, while looking out the peephole.
"Who is it~♪?"
I quiet my snicker a bit, and wait.
"Damn it, Matsuda! Just let us in already!"
Hearing Issei's voice in real life is totally different from the anime!
Shit, I guess God was right about it not being 2D anymore.
Click~! So I smugly opened the door to see a pair of sweaty Highschool boys, with the most pathetic looks on their faces!
I actually got a bit concerned for a second, and I asked them.
"What happened to you guys?"
Motohama, wheezed out a pathetic despondence, and said...
"Phew Phew, Issei and I saw this hot babe walking this big ass Mastiff... Phew, Issei thought it would be a really cool idea to get her number, and give it to you as a birthday present. Ugh, But that's when it all went horribly wrong!"
Issei then spoke up.
"Yup, I walked up to her, all mature and adult-like, and when I got close, I noticed she had the nicest rack I have seen on a woman in this neighborhood!"
He sighed helplessly, and continued...
"Sigh, Well it was going great till I had a bit of drool fall off my lip. Then that crazy woman sent her dog after us, shouting, "Molesters!"
Then his head sank.
"Mwahahaha~!"
I couldn't help it, I literally dropped to my knees, and laughed my ass off.
After some dirty looks from Issei and Motohama, I stood up and said with the most serious expression I could give the pair...
I pointed to the 2 boxes of porn, and announced.
"I have a mission, if you choose to accept it! Each of you can receive a box of top of the line, best selling, new DVD Porn! All you have to do is mow my yard, and do all my house work, before my Mom gets home?!"
The pair of idiots stared at the 2 boxes, gulped loudly, then asked simultaneously.
""Gulp, Really?""
I nodded in the affirmative, and a miracle happened on my birthday!
-
My house outside and inside, had never shined so brightly... To this day, my Mom has never figured out how it happened so quickly!
"Okay Father, who art in heaven... Thanks a big one for teaching me... I can pay with porn"
I gave the sky a big thumbs-up!
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