You know the sun? It radiates its light so everyone can see the beauty of the world—when it, itself, is in the cold dark place of the universe, alone, far away from every planet.
I wouldn't say I am the sun. I never wanted to be one either.
But it's just that I… I wanted to be like the moon.
Close to the Earth.
Close enough to feel the warmth of someone being beside me.
I am Haruki Tsukishiro, 14 years old.
An antisocial introvert.
No friends.
No one to speak to.
Shy, reserved, and unable to express my feelings.
Currently in my first year at Komuki High—a private school known for its stellar baseball and soccer teams in Mizaki Prefecture. It has three floors, a large library, a massive ground, and great facilities for athletes. Honestly, I never cared to know that much about the school. Even though I knew all this, I never bothered joining a club.
Why would I? I already knew anyone who came near me would end up hating me.
You might say I look the part too. My white hair is always messy no matter how much I try to fix it, and my pale skin makes me look like I haven't seen the sun in weeks. My dark brown eyes always seem half-lost — like I'm not really there. My school uniform is neat, sure, but coldly ordinary. No pin. No badges. No charm. I disappear easily into the background, and that's how it's always been.
You know… every morning I think, what if I never woke up?
Nothing would change, right?
And some days, I wish...
Today is April 27th.
I was late.
I grabbed my bicycle and pedaled hard toward the school. The gate was about to close. I sprinted forward, parked my bike, and rushed toward the entrance. I swiftly changed into my indoor shoes and threw the outdoor ones into my locker—though something was dripping from inside it again.
I passed a faint smile and closed the locker without a word.
As I stood in front of the classroom door, I whispered, Please… let today be different.
But it wasn't.
The moment I stepped in, I saw it again—those cruel words scrawled across my desk.
Why...?
I clenched my fists. What did I do to deserve this?
Everyone around me was smiling like nothing happened. Like it was normal. Like I wasn't even there.
I wanted to scream.
But I said nothing.
I sat down silently and stared out the window, praying the day would end quickly.
Homeroom began.
I knew I should've reported it to the teacher.
But I didn't want my mother involved. She's kind… maybe too kind.
And I don't want to make her worry about me.
...At least, I hope she would worry.
Worry huh...
I chuckled weakly to myself.
Lunchtime.
I ran to the old storeroom on the third floor—the only place where I could breathe.
I shut the door behind me and made my way behind the mountain of dusty chairs and broken tables.
Here, no one could see me.
No one cared to.
As I opened my lunchbox, the tears came before I even took the first bite.
Why… why is this happening to me?
I just wanted a peaceful high school life.
Just one friend.
Even one would've been enough...
This all began on my first day of high school.
Even though I had a fever, I didn't want to miss it.
I clutched the handlebars of my bicycle tightly as I pedaled through the busy morning streets. The cool spring wind brushed past my face. Despite my pounding head and chills, my heart was racing—but not from the fever.
It was something else.
Excitement. Hope. A tiny bit of courage.
The city was alive.
Salaried workers rushed past in suits. Students in crisp uniforms walked together in packs, giggling and joking. Mothers tugged along sleepy children with oversized backpacks. Car horns echoed at intersections. Bicycle wheels whirred down narrow alleys. A food stall vendor shouted his morning menu.
I stopped at a red light near Kiyose Bridge. The sun glittered on the river like scattered diamonds. A little girl next to me pointed to the sky, "Look! The clouds look like cotton candy!"
For a second, I smiled.
I forgot I was sick.
As I neared the school gates, the scenery changed completely.
Cherry blossoms lined the street, painting the world pink and white. Petals floated through the air—some landing on my bike, some brushing against my face, as if they too were welcoming me.
Komuki High stood proudly ahead. Big, clean, alive with students.
It was dazzling.
I parked my bike and stared at the school for a moment.
"This time… it won't be like the past."
I clutched the strap of my bag and stepped forward, heart trembling with both fear and hope.
Inside the school, I looked at the class placement board.
I was assigned to Class 1-C.
I exhaled deeply. Let's go…
There was a boy beside me.
I gathered all my courage to speak to him.
Just when I was about to open my mouth—
One of those cheerful extroverts—good-looking, smooth-talking, surrounded by friends—cut right in front and started talking to him first.
I paused.
Of course. That's how it always is.
I was about to turn away quietly when—
He turned to me. That same extrovert.
He actually talked to me, too.
I blinked. Wait, what...?
He asked me which class I was in. I replied softly, "1-C."
Then, the other boy suddenly spoke up loudly, "I'm in Class 1-A!"
We all looked at each other, a little surprised.
That boy glared at me like I had just taken his favorite comic book.
I realized what he was thinking: I stole his first friend.
But wait—he was the one who spoke first! Not me!
Damn those extroverts…
They're always so fast.
And I'm always left behind.
But still… we introduced ourselves.
"I'm Haruki Tsukishiro," I said quietly.
"I want to make new friends… maybe join a club."
The extrovert smiled and said,
"Kazumi Himura. Class 1-A. I play baseball."
The jealous boy looked serious.
"Agemi Aokawa. Class 1-D. I too want to make friends can we be one."
The opening ceremony wasn't as bad as I expected.
Despite everything, I somehow managed to talk to two people.
Kazumi and Agemi.
I even waved goodbye to them after the ceremony.
A strange warmth bubbled in my chest.
As I walked out, I suddenly remembered—
I forgot to lock my bicycle.
I hoped nothing happened to it.
I hoped that was all I had to worry about that day…
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------