"You feel good about pulling that prank with my bounty picture, you stupid minx?"
"LUFFY!" Reiju's ecstatic voice came through and his face brightened up, hearing her voice after so long. "It's been so long!"
"It's great to hear your voice again, Rei."
"I missed you so much. And yes!" She snickered. "I felt great about pulling that prank… At least, at first…"
"Sen called huh?"
"Sen…? Do you mean Fleet Admiral Sengoku?!"
"Yeah."
"Vice Admiral Tsuru called actually, but I've heard they're close. So they know you?"
"Yeah, kinda taunted them a bit. What about your sperm donor?"
"Oh, now you're worried?" Reiju huffed. "You should've told me that such people knew you beforehand and I wouldn't have pulled that prank! Now, Tsuru knows, Sengoku knows, and you've also caught Judge's attention!"
"How was I supposed to know you would do that?"
"And how was I supposed to know such people knew you?! That's why you shouldn't have kept secrets in the first place!"
"Fine fine, I'm at fault. What happened with Judge? Are you okay?"
She grumbled a bit more but ultimately sighed. "I can't even be mad at you… Don't worry, not much happened. When Judge and Tsuru asked me how I knew you… Well, I kinda…"
"Shishi you told them I was your sex slave, right?"
"…yeah… sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Did you go into explicit detail when they started asking for details?" Luffy asked grinning eagerly.
"Hehe yes! You should've seen Judge's face! It didn't take more than two sentences of me telling him that you used your mouth to make me feel things no one else had before he stopped the questioning. And I'm pretty sure Tsuru did a spit-take!"
Luffy thought about it for a moment before frowning. "You can't outright lie to him huh?"
"Depends, but basically yeah… What I meant was that you used that mouth of yours to say things that made me happy… but I'm not responsible for how they interpret it."
"Technically truth statements huh?" Luffy sighed understanding that she had to do such mental gymnastics all the time with her father and brothers.
"Well, forget all that. What are you doing? Where are you?"
"Just entered Paradise."
"Back on the Grand Line! You must be happy huh?"
"Reiju, you have no idea how happy I am right now. Not only am I back in my favourite part of the world, but I also got a new piece of tech that will let me talk to anyone I want no matter where they are in the world. So, now I don't have to worry about not reaching you either. We can talk anytime we want!"
"I'm sorry? You got a transponder snail with a global range?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"That's kinda not possible… how could y-"
"Oh just think of it as something from the secret country Leo's from."
"More secrets from Leo huh… Wait a minute, does that mean it was you who was responsible for the gunfire?"
"Gunfire?"
"Yeah. Just now, my transponder snail suddenly started spewing gunfire sounds out of nowhere instead of ringing in its normal purupuru way…"
"Really?"
"Yeah! Shocked the hell out of me. Thought I was being fired at by some unknown enemy at first but turns out, it was just the snail ringing. I thought something was wrong with the snail, but was your new tech responsible?"
"Hmm…" Luffy checked the phone settings a bit before finding out that he could basically set any ringer tune for others when he called, and it was set to gunfire sounds by default. "Shishi sorry, it is something from my end," Luffy chuckled. 'Ooh, I'm gonna have fun with this!'
"Now I'm even more shocked. How could you even possibly achieve that? I didn't even know snails could ring in any other tone before…"
"I'll explain in detail some other time. For now, don't you want to meet my crew?"
Reiju only took a moment to understand what he really meant. "Oh… I-is he… with you?" she asked, her voice laced with excitement and apprehension.
"Yep."
"I see." Reiju's voice changed and it seemed like she was using a fake voice which was also muffled. "I-I'm ready…"
Luffy put the phone on speaker as he jumped down from the crow's nest. Nami and Usopp were at the prow discussing something, Zoro was napping away at the mast, Sanji was inside the kitchen, and the two agents were at the back of the ship, making sure to keep minimum contact with everyone.
Luffy first tried to wake Zoro up but he seemed to be too deep in sleep, so he let him be and just pulled Sanji out from the kitchen to where Nami and Usopp were.
"Guys, need to introduce you to someone."
"Wait, what's that?" Usopp asked eyeing the phone and the other two also got interested in it.
"Well, it's just a transponder snail with a better interface."
"Oh… looks fancy…" Nami said eyeing the device before glaring up at Luffy. "How much did it cost?!"
Luffy chuckled. "This isn't something that you can just buy. It's one-of-a-kind and a friend made it for me."
"Ah that's okay then, I guess."
"I'm assuming you're talking about the new tech?"
"Who's that?"
"Everyone, say hi to the mystery genius inventor friend I keep talking about!"
"Ooh, genius inventor? Nice, Lu! Hi all, you can call me… hmm…"
"Blossom?" Luffy suggested, using the powerpuff girls as a reference.
"Blossom? I hate that!"
"Hmm, Bubble then."
"…Okay, first off, why Blossom? And secondly, how the fuck did you jump from Blossom to Bubble?! There's no link between the two!"
"You could go with Buttercup," Luffy continued ignoring her, "but I'll be tempted to make Princess Bride references when talking to you…"
"Again, where's the link?" She tiredly sighed. "I'm fine with Bubble. I don't want to listen to you talking about random shit all the time."
"Inconceivable!" Luffy quoted in Vizzini's voice.
"Ugh, someone smack this idiot for me, please."
"With pleasure, my lovely Bubble-chan!" Sanji, whose eyes had turned into hearts the moment Reiju had spoken, said as he kicked Luffy in the stomach.
Luffy sucked in his lips and let the attack hit, not being able to concentrate on anything but keeping his laughter in control.
"Anyway," Nami picked up the conversation. "It's so nice to finally talk to you, Bubble! I'm Nami, the navigator. Your shock staff is amazing! I defeated so many people with it!"
"Hi Nami!" Reiju greeted normally, seemingly not affected by Sanji's voice. "Luffy gave you that staff huh? I thought he would just keep playing around with it, screaming abracadabra all the time."
"Oh, he still does that sometimes," Nami sighed.
"It's Avada Kedavra."
"Whatever." / "Whatever."
"I'm next!" Usopp piped up. "Hello, Bubble! I'm the Great Pirate Captain Usopp! You can call me the Mighty Usopp or Captain Usopp!"
"Hey, Usopp! Luffy is the only one I'll ever call Captain, but nice to meet you."
"Ugh," Usopp deflated while the others chuckled. "By the way, the shock staff is really a wonder. Would like to pick your brain a bit when you have the time?"
"Sure Usopp, anytime… By the way, I'm sorry for all the secrecy. Have a bit of a sensitive identity, but I'll introduce myself properly when we meet for real."
"No worries, Bubble-chan!" Sanji twirled around answering on behalf of everyone. "I am Sanji, a humble slave to your love and the cook of this ship."
"H-Hi Sanji…"
"Your voice reaching my ears is equivalent to tasting the sweet nectar of God Himself! I only wish that I could get the honour of meeting you in person soon and hear your angelic voice coming out of your angelic lips!"
"O-oh… I see… Lu-Luffy…?"
Luffy, who was watching with amusement, tilted his head in confusion. He expected happiness or even horror from her as her own brother was saying such things to her, but her voice was laced with a hint of… dread? and she almost seemed to be on the verge of tears.
Realization dawned on him a second later and he gasped. "Ah wait wait wait! It's not like that! Ah shit!" He quickly ran to the kitchen and locked himself in it, while the rest watched with surprise and confusion.
He put the phone off of loudspeaker and tried to calm her down. "Hey hey relax, Rei. It's not what you're thinking. Calm down."
"…H-He sounds just like my other brothers…" Reiju cried. "P-Please tell me he didn't turn out like them…"
"No, of course not! He's kind, empathetic, and amazing! The only way he's like your other brothers is the way he goes gaga over women. That's where the similarities end. He overwhelms them and makes them a bit uncomfortable with his over-the-top poems sure, but he's still respectful. He refuses to even raise a finger at any woman even if he's being killed by them. He's kind to everyone and doesn't mistreat anyone… Believe me, he's a good person."
Reiju sniffled for a few more seconds before she finally seemed to compose herself. "Okay… Okay… you're right. Sorry. Hearing his voice after so long… and the first thing he says sounds just like my other brothers… My mind jumped to conclusions…"
"Yeah… you know what I was expecting? Horror from you as your own brother is trying to flirt with you."
"Oh god!" Reiju gasped. "I didn't even realize that! Stop him from saying such things!"
"I already tried once but he didn't listen. So, I decided to go the opposite way and now, I record him whenever he says stuff like that about you!"
"Pfft~ That's so cruel to him… I LOVE IT! It's gonna be sooo embarrassing for him when I play that in front of him! HAHAHAHA!"
"Shishishishi yeah!"
"Okay, go back to him… I want to talk to the crew more too."
Luffy came out of the kitchen and the three instantly gravitated towards him. "You're more interested in talking to them than talking to me?"
"I get headaches whenever I talk to you."
Seeing that she was okay, the rest sighed in relief. While Luffy was comforting her, Nami had smacked Sanji for making Bubble uncomfortable and had asked him to tone it down, and Sanji looked apologetic.
"Yeah, he gives us lots of headaches too," Nami said exasperatedly.
"Right?! The first conversation I had with him was soo infuriating that I was almost about to kill him!"
"Yes, exactly what happened with me!"
"So how many of you refused to join his crew at first and then he refused your refusal?"
"Oh, he just demanded that I join."
"He just told me to get on the ship."
"He used those exact words on me," Sanji said before continuing. "Um Bubble-chan, I'm sorry for before. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortab-"
"Ah, it's okay, Sanji. It was just an overreaction on my part. I have some… issues, I guess, and I came to some wrong conclusions… Don't worry, Luffy explained things to me."
"Oi shitty captain, what did you say about me?"
Reiju answered before Luffy could open his mouth. "That you are kind and empathetic and amazing. Might seem a bit overwhelming at first, for women I mean, but you still respect us and would never harm a woman… Oh, also that you make the most amazing food!"
"Oh." Sanji blinked in surprise, a tiny tinge of pink adorning his cheeks before he went into full love mode again and twirled around like a hurricane. "I'll do anything for you, my lovely Bubble-chan!"
Luffy made sure to record everything he was saying with amusement.
"Anyway, where are you Bubble?"
"I'm in Paradise too but near the end of it."
"Wait, really?!" Luffy perked up. "Come join us then!"
"On a mission, Lu. I'm only here for another week before I have to go back."
"When will you be joining us then?" Usopp asked and everyone noticed Luffy gritting his teeth in frustration.
"… Not for another two or three years I think."
"Three years?!"
"We'll be travelling from now on. We can fight or escape from anyone who comes after you," Luffy said, looking serious.
"No. They can track me down pretty easily and quickly. Besides, there are some people here who I can't leave just like that. I'll have to make preparations for them so that they can escape too."
Luffy just stayed silent, clearly frustrated.
"Umm, people are after you?" Usopp inferred.
"Kinda."
"Are they strong? Stronger than Luffy?" Nami asked.
"I'm stronger than Luffy."
"WHAT?!" the three yelled in bewildered shock.
"That was then. I'm way stronger now. I think I can beat you if we fight now," Luffy said grinning.
"Ha! I'd like to see you try… anyway, we've agreed on three years so let's stick to that."
"…"
"It's just three years, Luffy. We'll be spending the rest of our lives together anyway so this is nothing…"
"…Okay." Luffy relented but was planning to have a long conversation with her later when they had privacy, while the rest raised an eyebrow at Reiju's suggestive words.
"Umm… are you two like…" Nami asked hesitantly, "a thing or something?"
"What?"
"What?… Ah, I see. It's the way I said it, right? Nothing like that. I meant spend my life with him on his crew… As if I would want to be with an idiot like Luffy…"
Luffy smirked at the hypocrisy. "Says the girl who stuck her tongue down my throat when I was unconscious."
"LUFFY!" Reiju screamed while the rest blinked in surprise before gasping loudly.
"WHAT?!"
"Oh yeah, I can still taste the cherry flavoured lipstick… Mmm…" Luffy smiled, licking his lips and looking into the distance as if reminiscing.
"DON'T SAY THINGS OUT OF CONTEXT! THAT WAS NECESSARY! OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD'VE DIED! Guys, don't listen to him! It was something akin to CPR!" she hastily said the last part trying to defend herself.
"Sure sure, that's the reason your taste was all around my gums and my tongue…"
"GRRR… I WANT TO SMACK YOU SO BAD RIGHT NOW!"
"I'll do it!" Nami snapped as she began smacking him hard and Sanji joined in too yelling, "How dare you kiss a goddess?!" while Reiju laughed.
As Luffy was lying down taking beatings from Nami and Sanji, he spotted a snowflake as it slowly fell on him. 'Guess it's starting.'
He immediately got up getting out from under them. "Bubble, it started snowing."
"… Ohh damn. Guess it's gonna be hell for the next few hours."
"Yeah. I'll call you after."
"Okay. Good luck guys! You'll definitely need it! Bye!"
Luffy cut the call while the other three looked questioningly at him.
"Umm w-what d-did she mean?" Usopp worriedly asked.
"There are multiple magnetic fields here from the seven starting islands and the Red Line, so the weather is gonna get extremely unstable… so brace yourselves cause the next few hours? It will be Hell!" He said grinning menacingly before adding, "For you guys, I mean…"
And the rest looked up at the sky with dread.
They then looked down back at Luffy who put the weird device inside his pant pocket, tapped his pocket as if making sure it was there, pulled it out, repeated the action a couple more times… and then out of nowhere, started tearing up.
"Do you know how many times I've randomly checked my pocket, not found my phone, and panicked that I had lost it… before realizing I didn't even have one?" He sniffed with joy. "And now I do again… Oh, thank you so much, White…"
The three walked away, not wanting to even know what he was on about.
———
"This doesn't seem so bad," Nami commented as she watched Luffy and Usopp building snowmen from the prow as snow accumulated on the Merry.
Luffy who was proudly looking at the snowman he had built snapped his head in her direction. "You did not just say that!"
"W-what?"
"You just tempted fate, Nami. Now, the universe is gonna do everything in its power to make sure this situation gets worse."
"What kind of stupid superstition is that?" Nami scoffed, dismissing the idea.
"Oh, you poor sweet summer child… Guess you gotta see it to believe it…" Luffy said with pity in his eyes before going back to play. He really wanted to go through the phone and see all its functions, but he held off until the insane weather passed.
"Usopp! Look at my snowman!"
"Ha Ha Ha! That's nothing. Feast your eyes on my soulful masterpiece! The Snow Queen!" Usopp exclaimed with a flourish showing off the snowman-nay, the snow sculpture he had made of a woman who looked suspiciously like Kaya.
"Oh wow! That's actually amazing," Sanji praised looking at the sculpture from where he was shovelling snow near Nami's tangerine trees.
"Missing Kaya already huh?" Luffy teased causing Usopp to splutter and blush.
"W-what d-do you m-mean?"
"You're right. It does look like Kaya!" Nami also teased with a grin.
"Who's Kaya?" Sanji asked.
"Usopp's crush back on his home island," Luffy said and watched as the pink hue on Usopp's face intensified.
"She's not my crush…" Usopp weakly protested.
"Sure she isn't," Nami drawled and he blushed more heavily while his lips quivered.
Whatever he was about to say was cut off by Luffy yelling, "Snowman punch!" as he launched the stick which served as his snowman's arm towards Kaya's sculpture, destroying it.
"You! How could you?!" Usopp obviously got angered and started chasing Luffy around the deck while Luffy laughed, and the two soon devolved into a snowball fight.
"Nami! How long do I have to continue my snow shovelling of love?"
"Until it stops snowing, Sanji," Nami answered as she went back inside the kitchen.
"Okay~"
"Hey!" Mr. Nine called out from where he and Miss Wednesday were wrapped up in blankets at the dining table. "Doesn't this ship have a heating system?"
"It's so cold," Miss Wednesday added shivering.
"Shut up!" Nami snapped. "You're not here as guests! Go outside and shovel the snow or something!"
Just then, lightning suddenly started flashing out of nowhere and the winds also picked up speed.
"This sure is chaotic like Luffy said…" Nami sighed as she stared at the sky through the porthole. "It was sunny at first, then it suddenly started snowing without warning, and now lightning too…"
"That's how it is in the Grand Line," Miss Wednesday smugly said.
"It seems like you guys are clueless about this place," Mr. Nine scoffed.
"I don't think you've checked the log pose for a while now. Is that really okay?"
"Hm? What do you mean? I just checked it a few minutes ago," Nami said as she checked the log pose and was left stunned. "KYAAAHHHH!" She screamed as she ran outside.
"What is it, Nami-san?!"
"This can't be happening! Turn the ship 180 degrees! Hurry!"
"Why? Are we going back?"
"No! The ship itself turned around and we are heading in the opposite direction! How could this happen? I only took my eyes off it for a minute and the waves were calm too…"
"Looks like you've been played by the waves," Mr. Nine scoffed.
"Are you really a navigator?" Miss Wednesday lampooned. "The sky, waves, clouds, winds, currents… nothing makes sense in this sea. The only thing that makes sense is the direction your log pose points to… Do you understand?"
Nami felt a vein throbbing when the fake king and undercover princess talked down to her and she snapped, kicking them both out onto the deck. "STOP ACTING SO HIGH AND MIGHTY IN THOSE COZY BLANKETS AND GO HELP ALREADY!"
She then began barking orders as the others started handling and steering the ship. "Brace the yard! Turn the ship 180 degrees! Sanji, on the whipstaff! Usopp, watch astern!"
"Yes, Nami-swan!" / "Leave it to me!"
"She sure is bossy…" Miss Wednesday grumbled as she came up to Luffy's side, who was pulling the sails to catch the wind.
"Heya! Doing good?"
"Just swell," Miss Wednesday said rolling her eyes. "Are you sure you're the Captain? She seems to like ordering you around and even hitting you."
"Nami's the navigator, so she holds all authority over how to handle the ship. And I don't mind all the hitting."
"Huh… that's weird… But she doesn't seem to be a good navigator either," she scoffed.
"I heard that!" Nami yelled furiously from the upper deck and she winced. "Less talking and more working! Tack the sails in! The wind changed directions again!"
"Yes, ma'am!" Miss Wednesday saluted as she began following her orders.
"She's adjusting," Luffy said as he gave Miss Wednesday a hand. "This is her first time in the Grand Line. Give her some time and she'll be reading the Grand Line like a book… Take your time, Nami!" He yelled the last part at Nami in a calm reassuring tone.
Nami heard that and blinked for a second before loosening her balled-up fists, letting out a deep breath, and calming herself down. To be honest, she was feeling a bit helpless as she wasn't able to do the thing she was best at. And the blue-haired bitch's comments weren't helping either. 'But Luffy's right. I'm adjusting… It's only been an hour since I began navigating here. I just need a bit of time before I make these Grand Line currents mine.'
She nodded with a sigh of relief knowing Luffy had her back like always and allowed herself another moment of peace before she began reading the waves, the winds, the clouds, and began analyzing everything while also barking out orders to keep the ship from capsizing.
Miss Wednesday, on the other hand, just grumbled sarcastically. "Sure she will…"
"Do you like acting like a bitch?" Luffy asked nonchalantly, making her gasp.
"Don't call me a bitch!"
"I didn't. I only asked if you liked acting like one."
"That's the same thing!"
Luffy chuckled and felt a need to tease her more. "Hey," he suddenly faced her, "are you perhaps a noble?"
She flinched. "W-what?"
"LUFFY, THE MIZZEN MAST!"
"ON IT!" Luffy went to the mizzen mast and Miss Wednesday followed after him, feeling flustered.
"Why did you ask that?" She asked as he pulled on the rope to change the direction of the sails.
"Dunno," Luffy shrugged. "The way you walk, I guess."
"The way I walk?"
"Yeah. Seen nobles a lot and they have this special way of walking. Like the way you carry yourself, I guess… You seemed like you had the same walk too," Luffy said, making stuff up.
"H-Ha! That's absurd!" She scoffed, but a few beads of sweat had formed on her forehead.
"Yeah? Then swear."
"…what?"
"Say bad words. Nobles are prim and proper in the way they speak and all, right? So, if aren't one, you should have no problem swearing, right?"
"You asshole!"
"…Guess I set the bar too low. Say Fuck."
"Fuck."
"Dickhead. Dickface."
"Dickhead. Dickface."
"HARD TO PORT! NOW!"
Luffy ran to the stern while Miss Wednesday followed as they kept up the impromptu game.
"Son of a bitch. Motherfucker."
"Son of a bitch. Motherfucker."
"Cunt."
A very faint blush adorned her face. "C-cunt."
"You fucking wanker!" Luffy said in a British accent.
The blush intensified. "Y-You fucking w-wan-"
Sanji, who was running past the two at that moment, heard them and instantly aimed a kick at Luffy. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING TO A LADY?!"
Luffy ducked down as he burst out laughing. "Pfft~ Sanji, I'm not forcing her. Pfff ~ She's the one who's just repeating whatever I say."
"YOU FUCKING MORONS! NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO PLAY AROUND!" Nami shrieked. "THERE'S A FUCKING WHIRLPOOL IN FRONT OF US! STEER US AWAY!"
"YES, NAMI-SWAN!"
As Sanji went away, Luffy looked back at Miss Wednesday with a mischievous grin. "Want to continue?"
"Dégagé." /Piss off/ She grumbled under her breath in annoyance before walking away, finally realizing that she had nothing to prove to him. 'Why and how the hell did I get pulled into his pace and start that stupid game in the first place…?'
"Oh. Using french?" He said and she froze mid-step before slowly turning back in apprehension… only to see a mischievously smiling Luffy. "Not many people bother learning other languages…" he said innocently. "Unless of course, you are a noble?"
"H-how do you know it then?!" She shot back. "You must be a noble too then!"
'Shishi she's so easy…'
She had just slipped up by using the word 'too' but she didn't seem to have realized it, and Luffy didn't bother pointing it out either as he wanted to have more fun.
"Oh, my brother went to college where people from all sorts of backgrounds who spoke different languages mingled. And you know what the first thing one learns of another's language?" He asked rhetorically before answering with a smile, "Swear words… So, I might not know the language, but I certainly know how to swear…"
His grin widened as he looked her in the eyes before saying, "Casse toi, salope!" /Fuck off, cunt!/
Miss Wednesday gasped and reflexively punched him in the face while growling, "Don't call me a c…that!"
"Shishi can't even say the word again huh?"
Her face flushed as she scowled at him before she seemed to resolve herself and yelled, "Nique ta mere!" /Fuck your mother!/
"Mon dieu! You kiss your father with that mouth?" Luffy cackled as he ran away from her, but not before adding, "Fils de pute!" /Son of a bitch!/
She also ran after him, bringing out and swinging her peacock slashers. "Putain de connard!" /Fucking Asshole!/
SMACK! CRACK!
Luffy and Miss Wednesday knelt down in front of an irate Nami with matching bumps on their heads.
"Do you two realize what's happening around us?" Nami growled. "There's a fucking typhoon to our right, a field of ice glaciers in front of us, and a fucking water geyser to our left! We are fucking fighting to even stand upright and you're not even listening to what I'm saying. We need to give it our all here, and here you two are… what the heck were you even doing?!"
"Nami, ice glaciers coming up fast!" Usopp screamed from the bow of the ship. "Now's not the time to scold them either!"
Nami glared at the two. "Did you hear that?"
"I'll go take care of it!" Luffy instantly ran.
"U-Umm… I-I'll go to take care of the sails…" Miss Wednesday ran, and finally, everyone was pitching in to manage the ship… Well, everyone except Zoro, who was napping away ever since they left Reverse Mountain.
—
"AHHH! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" Usopp yelled as the ice glaciers came up fast.
"Merry's not gonna become the Titanic!" Luffy yelled as he snapped his arm back and launched a Gum Gum Bazooka right at the glacier, shoving it away.
"GREAT!" Nami cheered. "SANJI! HARD STARBOARD!"
"THIS IS THE MAX!"
"AHHH! IT WASN'T ENOUGH! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!"
"LUFFY! CUSHION!"
"ON IT!" Luffy ballooned up and got in between the glacier and Merry just as they collided. The ship creaked for a second when Luffy began rolling towards the edge, thus launching Merry away from the iceberg.
"WE DID IT!"
"TYPHOOON!" Mr. Nine shrieked pointing at the huge typhoon they were about to get sucked into.
"LUFFY!" Nami yelled pointing at the typhoon. "Do something!"
"The hell do you think I can do against a typhoon? It's not a tsunami wave I can just punch."
"PEOPLE CAN'T PUNCH A TSUNAMI WAVE EITHER, YOU MORON!" Miss Wednesday, Mr. Nine, and Usopp snapped in unison.
"AHHH BRACE YOURSELF! WE'RE GETTING SUCKED IN!"
"HAHAHAHAHA I FEEL LIKE I'M FINALLY BACK HOME! WHOOOO! FLY, MERRY, FLY!"
"WE'RE GONNA CRASH AND DIE, YOU BASTARD!"
"…If I'm crazy, I'm on my own. If I'm waitin', it's on my throne…"
"YOU CAN'T SERIOUSLY BE SINGING RIGHT NOW!"
"…If I sound lazy, just ignore my tone. 'Cause I'm always gonna answer when you call my phone. Like, WHAT'S UP, DANGER?!"
"LUFFY, IF WE SURVIVE THIS, I'LL SHOW WHAT DANGER IS!"
"CAN'T STOP ME NOW!… I SAID 'I GOT YOU NOW'! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHOOOOOOOOOOO!"
…
…
…
"WE SURVIVED! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"
"LUFFY! C'MERE, YOU BASTARD!"
"OI NAVIGATOR, HAIL STORM COMING UP!"
"Wha-HOLYMOTHEROFGOD! STARBOARD! STARBOARD! NOW NOW NOW!"
—
"You're not looking at the log pose enough! We're off course again!" Miss Wednesday chided.
"SHUT UP, I KNOW! BUT WE CAN'T GO IN A STRAIGHT LINE! JUST FOLLOW MY ORDERS!… Turn the ship around!"
"I knew it!"
"OH SHUT UP!"
"Nami-swan is so cute even when she's wrong!"
"I'll shove my heel down your throat!"
—
"ZORO! WAKE UP!"
"Dammit Zoro! Wake up and help out! It's an emergency!"
"Shishishi it's okay. Let him sleep."
"No, you idiot! We need him to wake up!"
"It's okay, Nami-swan! The shitty Mosshead isn't gonna be helpful even if wakes up! I'll do whatever you want me to!"
"That fucking swordsman! I'm gonna kill him if we survive this!"
—
"…Is that cloud giving me the middle finger?"
"I told you, Nami. The universe will conspire against you if you tempt fate. See? Now the universe is flipping you off."
"How dare you flip off Nami-swan, you shitty cloud?!"
"… Oh look, four more clouds joined… Now five clouds are flipping me off. What is my life anymore?"
"Shishishi Don't worry, Nami. I tempt fate all the time and it's so much fun!"
"Don't do that, idiot!"
"Oh? So you believe my whole talk about tempting fate now?"
"Of course not! The winds are just shaping them like that!"
"Hmmm you need more proof, I guess. Okay… Hey! There's no way that we'll get into conflict with one of the seven warlords on the first island, right?! There's no way that could happe- AGH! Why are you choking me? You said you didn't believe in this!"
"Doesn't matter! Idiot Captain!"
"Oh look, Nami. There are ten clouds flipping us off now… Man, I can't wait to go to the next island. We're gonna piss off a warlord so soon. Shishishishi"
"… I don't care anymore."
"Uh… Nami, look at your log pose. Looks like we're off-course."
"MOTHERFU-"
—
"TYPHOON ALERT! ANOTHER TYPHOON ALERT!"
"STOP SCREAMING, USOPP! I learned from the last time! I know what to do to not get pulled in! Follow my orders to a T!"
"Yes!"
…
…
"We made it!"
"Hahahaha! Take that, you shitty typhoon!"
"…I'm impressed."
"NAMI, LOOK! We're being sucked into a whirlpool and a thunderstorm now! This is gonna be awesome! This sea is so AMAZING!"
"AHHHHHHH!"
"Oh fucking hell…"
—
"There's water leaking below deck!"
"Usopp! Go take care of that! I'll handle the sails!"
"Okay!"
—
"Eat up guys! You need to eat to keep your energy up!"
GLOMP GLOMP
"You're eating too much! Leave some for the rest!"
—
"THE WINDS ARE TOO STRONG!"
"RAISE THE SAILS!"
"OH NO! THE SAILS ARE TEARING!"
"I HATE THIS SEA!"
"I LOVE THIS SEA!"
"OH SHUT THE HELL UP!" / "FERME TA GUEULE!"
———o——o——o———
And finally, after a few hellish hours where they danced with death, they were in stable weather again where the waves were calm and the skies were clear.
"I-Is it safe now?" Usopp wheezed.
"I…" Nami looked around trying to see or feel anything but felt nothing. "I think we're good. No more storms."
"Oh thank god…" They all groaned and collapsed to the deck simultaneously, including Nami. Luffy, the only one who had had the time of his life and also looked completely okay, brought them lemonade and food from the kitchen to build their energy back up, and after making sure they were all resting, sat on the railing and began going through his phone.
It was pretty much a basic phone - A great camera, amazing loudspeakers that could play music loud enough to reach the whole deck, alarm, calculator, notes, and so on. Apart from the basic things, it also had a compass that functioned as a log pose.
As for its communication abilities, it could perform all the functions a normal phone could. There were a few notes that were left for him that explained how the normal call functions translated in this world. A voice-call could be made to any transponder snail, which was a given, but video-calls could also be made if the other end was a vis-snail, no matter which type.
He could send just pictures too and the other end would print it out if it was connected to a printer. The same thing would happen if he sent a text message, so it basically worked like him sending a fax.
Apart from that, for his entertainment, thousands of songs were on it which excited him the most. He searched to see if any great movies were also on it and saw that there were quite a few video files too. When he excitedly opened one…
"MMYEAAAHH~"
…porn started playing and the loud moaning of a woman sounded throughout the deck. Luffy flinched and fumbled the phone for a moment before quickly closing it.
"What was that?" Sanji asked perking up.
"Blue whale cries." Luffy lied as he cursed White out and began deleting all the videos as they were all of the same type.
Fortunately for him, everyone was too tired to care or even move from where they had collapsed. They all remained in the same position for another hour during which Luffy had put the earbuds in and listened to songs he had missed so damn much before Zoro finally woke up from his beauty sleep.
"Mmmm… That was great…" Zoro slowly opened his eyes and stood up drowsily rubbing his eyes. Noticing the peaceful skies and the calm sea, he thought that the crazy Grand Line weather he had heard rumours of was nothing but an exaggeration. His eyes then fell on everyone who was sprawled out on the deck and he frowned.
"Hey, I know the weather's nice and warm, but don't you think you're being a bit too lazy? Are we even going the right way?"
'YOU SON OF A…' Everyone just cursed him in their minds, too tired to verbally respond.
Zoro's eyes finally fell on the two extra passengers also sprawled out on deck. "Wait, what are these two clowns doing here?"
"You're only noticing us now?!" Mr. Nine and Miss Wednesday snapped.
"We're giving them a ride to their hometown," Luffy informed.
"Why? It's not like we owe them anything…"
"Yeah, we don't."
"Well, it's fine either way," Zoro shrugged before crouching down in front of the two, who sat up and looked at him with apprehension. "Man, you two look like you're up to no good. What were your names again?"
"M-mr. Nine."
"And I'm Miss Wednesday."
Seeing that they were squirming uncomfortably, Zoro grinned menacingly. "Hmm yes. Something's been bugging me about those names ever since I heard them… I think I may have heard those names somewhere before… or maybe not…"
The two squirmed more as they broke out into cold sweats and Zoro's grin widened. "Well, in any cas-" was all he could say before someone rammed the back of his head and his forehead bounced off the deck.
He turned around and saw the demonic visage of the navigator. "How dare you sleep comfortably all this time?" She spat furiously. "You kept sleeping no matter how much we tried to wake you up…"
"Hah?" Zoro glared challengingly not understanding why she was being so hostile and regretted it a few seconds later as Nami left him with multiple bumps on his head.
"Shishishi take it easy, Nami. You can finally start his debt for not helping just now."
Nami blinked before her anger melted away and her eyes turned into berries. "That's right! Zoro, you're fifty thousand berries in debt now for not helping! Thanks, Luffy~" she cooed the last part, blowing a kiss at Luffy.
"Witch!" Zoro cursed before glaring at Luffy. "And you! Stop giving her ideas!"
"Shishi I need some company though. I'm the only one in her debt right now."
"No, I'm already in her debt," Usopp raised his hand with a groan. "She charged me for wasting materials during my experiments… the materials that I bought… how does that even make sense?!"
"I'm happily in Nami-swan's debt too!" Sanji swooned.
Zoro's eyes twitched as he watched the money-hungry witch cheekily grinning at him before he turned his glare on Luffy. "So?"
"Well, you wouldn't want to be the only one left out, right? Now, we're all in her debt!"
"I suddenly feel pity for you all…" Miss Wednesday interjected, sending a sympathetic gaze at everyone, except Nami.
"Yes, I would never want to be in a crew with… that." Mr. Nine added staring at Nami, which earned him a bump on the head.
Zoro just heaved a deep sigh letting it go. Satisfied with getting the swordsman under her debt (read control), Nami addressed the whole crew. "Alright guys, don't let your guards down! Who knows what will happen next. I understand now how crazy this Grand Line sea is. I understand because all my navigational skills have failed to work!"
"Not exactly instilling confidence here, Nami." Usopp groaned. "Are we really going to be okay?"
"Of course!" Nami smiled. "I just need some time to adjust and things will work out. And look!" She pointed in front of them where an island was slowly coming into view. "The first leg of our journey is over!"
"Yay! Our first island on the Grand Line!"
As they got closer, the faint silhouette became clearer and clearer and they finally saw all the cacti-like mountains on the island.
"I see Giant Cacti!"
"What a funny-looking island…"
"So this is Whiskey Peak…"
"We've finally arrived!" Mr. Nine cheered and when they got close enough, he and Miss Wednesday both jumped onto the railing.
"Well then, we'll be taking our leave here," Mr. Nine smirked.
"Thank you for bringing us here, my honeys! If fate wills it, perhaps we will meet again!" Miss Wednesday added.
"Aww, saying goodbye just like that?" Luffy asked with a smirk. "No more colourful words?"
Miss Wednesday glared at him, flipped him off, and yelled "Asshole!" before she and Mr. Nine said "Bye Bye Baby!" in unison and jumped off the ship.
"They're gone…"
"Who even were they? They're so weird…"
Luffy chuckled as he watched Vivi swim towards the island. "Well, let's just land!"
"Yeah," Nami agreed before looking ahead. "Looks like there's a river at the front. We can sail inland by ship."
"H-hey there aren't going to be any m-monsters here, right?" Usopp asked his teeth clattering in fear as they entered the river which was covered by fog.
"There's a good chance," Sanji flatly stated. "This is the Grand Line after all."
Usopp began trembling more. "C-can't we just skip the island?"
"What's the point of even coming here then?"
"We can't skip either," Nami continued. "We have to stay on the island long enough for the log pose to reset and record the magnetic field of the next island or we can't go ahead."
"So we can't leave the island even if there are monsters on it?!"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"H-h-hey guys listen, I think I have I-can't-enter-new-island disease…"
"Ooh, the fog is clearing."
"I think I hear people…" Zoro said straining his ears. "Be prepared for a fight."
"H-h-hey guys, I really t-think my chronic illness is acting up…"
Contrary to what they were imagining, a large crowd of people welcomed with raucous cheers.
"WELCOME PIRATES!" / "WELCOME TO OUR TOWN!" / "WELCOME TO THE GRAND LINE!" / "HURRAY!" / "WELCOME, HEROES OF THE SEA!"
Nami and Zoro stood on Luffy's either side at the bow as they watched in bewilderment at the welcoming cheers.
"They're not monsters… they're welcoming us…" Usopp said surprised.
"What's going on?" Sanji demanded before his eyes fell on all the women cheering for them and he forgot about everything else. "Whoa! So many cute girls!"
"They can't be any more obvious," Zoro scoffed. "As if anyone would fall for this."
"Tell that to the other idiots on this ship," Nami sighed, watching Sanji go crazy over the girls and Usopp blowing out kisses to the crowd.
"Luffy too?" Zoro sighed when he saw his captain happily waving at the crowds too.
"Shishishi you guys don't get it," Luffy said leaning back to get close to the two. "This is not just a trap, this is a honey trap."
"Yeah. So?"
"So you first eat all the honey!" Luffy licked his lips with a grin, causing the other two's lips to also stretch into matching grins. And for the next few hours, the people of Whisky Peak partied like they had never partied before.
———
"Maya-hee~ Maya-whoo~ Maya-hah~ Ma-ahem ma~ma~mah! Maya-ha-ha!" Mr. Eight softly sang to himself as he stared at the beautiful moon in the night sky.
"You sure seem to be in a good mood, Mr. Eight," Mr. Nine interrupted as he and Miss Wednesday came up to him.
"Ah, it's you two."
"What were you singing?" Miss Wednesday asked curiously.
"Oh, it's something that Strawhat pirate was singing…"
"Yeah, we heard the commotion. You all were so loud."
"Well, the Strawhats sure know how to party. I almost feel bad that we have to capture them."
"So they're taken care of?"
Mr. Eight's tone shifted from the playful one he had until then to a cold one. "Yes, they're all knocked out cold."
A door opened and a tall woman in a nun costume stumbled out groaning. "Oh lord, that girl sure can hold her liquor. I was only drinking carbonated tea…"
"Miss Monday."
Miss Monday sighed removing her nun costume. "Was it really necessary for a celebration like that? They were just five little brats. We could have finished them off at the harbour itself…" She eyed Miss Wednesday and Mr. Nine before continuing. "As it is, we're having a food shortage, and there's no whale meat coming our way either."
"We did the best we could!" Mr. Nine defended.
"And I don't know about the others, but their Captain is a monster!" Miss Wednesday added.
"The Strawhat kid?" Miss Monday scoffed. "He's one of the most easy-going person I've ever met."
"Now now, calm down," Mr. Eight cut in. "I've researched the pirates outside and look at this," he said and pulled out Luffy's bounty poster.
Their first reaction was an amused chuckle when they saw his picture but once they saw the amount, they gasped.
"Forty-five million?!"
"To judge a person by their appearance is quite foolish, Mis-ahem, ma~ ma~ mah! Miss Monday."
"Yeah, I guess I was wrong," Miss Monday said sheepishly rubbing her head.
"Well, in any case, they're out cold right now. Go steal all the treasure from their ship and tie them up. We'll lose 30% of the bounty if we kill them after all."
Before they even took a step though, a new voice sounded from above, alarming them. "Sorry but, would you mind letting them all sleep for a while longer?"
"Who's there?!"
"They're all tired from the journey here," Zoro said as he sat on the roof of a house showing one of his blades. At the same time, more bounty hunters suddenly came running out. "Mr. Eight, all those pirates have disappeared!"
"You bastard!" Mr. Eight spat as all the agents' attention snapped to the top of the building where Zoro was. "Weren't you drunk?"
"True swordsmen never make the mistake of letting their guards down," he grinned menacingly, scaring the agents. "So this was a den of bounty hunters. And you take advantage of overconfident newbie pirates who've just entered the Grand Line."
A lot of bounty hunters had gathered by then and were all cocking their guns or unsheathing their swords and weapons. Zoro observed them all as he stood up with a challenging smirk. "Looks like there's about a 100 of you. You'll be a fine opponent for me, Baroque Works!"
The crowd below gasped in shock. "H-how do you know our organization's name?"
"Back when I was in your line of business, your organization tried to recruit me… I refused, of course," Zoro explained as he inspected his swords. "An organization that runs on secrecy where a person doesn't know the identity of another, and everyone must refer to each other by code names… Of course, the boss' identity is also a mystery. An organization that demands complete obedience from its members, Baroque Works." Zoro showed a cocky smirk. "Heh, was that supposed to be a secret?"
"This is quite a shock…" Mr. Eight said trying to maintain some level of composure, "but if he knows our secret, then we have to eliminate him. Another tombstone must be added to the cactus rocks! KILL HIM!"
"Oh, one last thing," Zoro interrupted just as they were all about to charge. "My captain has a message first. Ahem… You guys gave us food so if you let us be, we won't attack. But if you attack, we'll retaliate. That's it… So… What will it be?"
"Of course, we're gonna attack! There's no way that's true!" Mr. Eight yelled and the rest roared in agreement.
"Okay good. That's what I was hoping for. Sorry Luffy, these guys aren't gonna listen," Zoro said before disappearing from the rooftop.
"He's gone!" / "Where did he go?!"
The hunters began to panic but soon noticed the swordsman standing right in the middle of them. They panicked, pulled out their guns and fired, resulting in them shooting each other.
"You fools!" Mr. Eight yelled but froze when he noticed the swordsman standing next to Miss Wednesday, holding a sword to her neck.
"Don't know why but Luffy also told me not to hurt you. So if you retire from this fight, I'll not chase you."
"… Why?" She asked suspiciously.
"Who knows what runs in that rubber brain of his?"
"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Mr. Eight roared furiously as he lunged at the swordsman. Zoro jumped out of the way before shrugging, "Well, I gave the warning. I will still retaliate if you attack me though…"
As soon as Zoro was away from Miss Wednesday, Mr. Eight used his trumpet shotgun and fired a volley of shots, which Zoro barely escaped from before running behind a building.
"Phew… So that thing was a shotgun? Gotta be more careful…" He said unsheathing Yubashiri from its scabbard. "Well, now to test my new swords. We'll start with you, Yubashiri." he grinned before a bounty hunter appeared above him, and he sprang into action.
———
"Damn, Zoro sounds so badass!" Reiju exclaimed and only Luffy heard her as he was wearing earbuds.
"Shishishi yeah! He's so cool!" Luffy responded as he made his way to a higher vantage point. He had been sitting on a nearby building, away from sight, while Zoro was talking-no, scaring the Baroque Works members and he had called Reiju at the same time too. Once the fight started, Luffy decided to sit on a taller building to better observe the fight so he was making his way up. He was also dragging Usopp and Sanji, both unconscious from drinking too much, as he didn't want to leave them unguarded. And Nami was, of course, looting the place.
He found the perfect spot on top of a church which had a cross symbol hanging off of it and he threw his two crewmates on an adjacent rooftop while he jumped onto the cross itself and sat on it with his legs dangling.
"Zoro is the last member I didn't talk to? So, Nami, Usopp, Sanji and Zoro. Is that it?"
"Yeah."
"You really came to the Grand Line with such a small crew… you're unbelievable…"
"Shishi anyway, I want to test some things," he said taking out his phone. "Do you have a vis snail?"
"Of course. Give me a minute." Sounds of water lapping could be heard from her end, which confused Luffy, before footsteps going away sounded. She came back a minute later, again sounds of water lapping could be heard, and soon, Reiju's voice came back. "Connected it."
Luffy clicked the video-call button, and soon, the image of Reiju chilling in a bathtub graced his screen. She was looking to the side, where his image was probably being projected on a wall. "Oh, I can see you! It's been so long!"
"Oh, you were taking a bath, huh?"
Reiju blinked dumbly. "…You can see me too?"
"Yeah."
"A two-way visual snail phone is quite rare… and my snail isn't the type that can make a two-way visual call…" She turned towards her transponder snail and her eyes widened. "Wait, how is this even possible?! My transponder snail here is looking at me! I've pointed it towards the wall so that it can project your video, and one eye is still facing the wall and projecting as expected, but the other eye is looking at me!"
"Hmm well, even normal voice-only snails can transmit facial reactions right? Like if you're laughing or crying, the snail on my end will also take on your features and laugh or cry."
"Yeah."
"So, there has to be some component that a snail 'sees' and sends it over the connection so that the snail at the other end can emulate it. Normal voice snails can't send much information apparently, but vis-snails can. So, my device kinda tells your snail to look at you and transmits your video to me too."
"… Wow. The concept is a known one and has been tried before but everyone has failed. Even Vegapunk failed… as far as we know, at least… Wait! Did he succeed and you somehow got in touch with him?! I remember you had asked me if I knew him once."
"As I said, it's from Leo's secret country. It's one-of-a-kind and no one else knows of its existence."
Reiju sighed. "Sure sure…"
"Before everything, aren't you gonna cover up? I can see you naked, you know."
Reiju smirked seductively as she leaned back in the bathtub. "So? It's not like you haven't seen this before. There have been many times when you've walked in on me when I was naked."
"Yeah, and all of those times were totally not orchestrated by you to get a reaction out of me."
Reiju giggled as she brought the snail closer to her so that only her face was visible and she gave a small smile. "I've missed this."
Luffy also smiled back. "Me too… Can you really not come join me? We'll be on the seas mostly, you know. Even if Judge and all your brothers come, and the worst happens, we can just run away…"
"Are you ready for the New World?"
"… I can manage it."
"What about your crew?"
"…"
"C'mon Luffy, think about this from my perspective. If I join you and when Judge eventually comes for me, and he will, all he has to do is say 'Come back to me', and my body will be compelled to go back to his side… And then, if he tells me to kill you or Sanji…" she shuddered. "I don't even want to think about it…"
Luffy let out a deep breath as he stared at her. "You think too much. Just come. We'll deal with whatever happens."
"And you don't think enough! Do you really think I don't want to join you? You're the only good thing in my life and I don't want to lose you just because I was impatient… I promise you that the moment you enter the New World, I'll join you even if you don't want me."
Luffy sighed, not saying anything.
"Enough with this mopey stuff. Show me Sanji! I want to see what he looks like now."
"… Sure," he first turned off the visual from her end before going to them.
"Ooh, the snail stopped looking at me with one eye! Wow, I'll look into how this works…" Reiju marvelled while Luffy jumped back to the terrace and walked up to where Sanji and Usopp were still sleeping. He focused the camera on Sanji, who had a peaceful look on his face as he lightly snored.
"So that's how he looks like now. He grew up well… Pinch his cheek."
Luffy chuckled as he did as she said. Sanji grumbled in his sleep and swatted Luffy's arm away, causing Reiju to giggle. "He's so cute… and the guy next to him is Usopp?"
"Yeah," he said focusing on him.
"Quite a long nose."
Usopp grumbled in his sleep in annoyance, seemingly hearing her and the two chuckled before Luffy went back to sit on the cross and watched the chaos unfolding below.
Zoro was all over the place, stumbling into houses, jumping over roofs, breaking apart buildings, and so on, as he tested his new swords out on all the Baroque Works members that chased after him.
"Ooh, this is great. I can see everyone! I'm assuming the green-haired guy who's causing havoc with his swords is Zoro?"
"Yep!" Luffy grinned as he focused the camera on Zoro's fight. He was pretty much done by that point though. Only the Number agents were still left while the rest had either been taken out or had run away. Miss Monday also got taken out and soon, Zoro was surrounded by Mr. Nine, Mr. Eight and Miss Wednesday.
"He's cool… By the way, is that the girl you were telling Zoro not to fight?" Reiju asked when Luffy focused on Vivi's face.
"Yeah."
"Why? Do you like h-" Reiju began to tease but Luffy cut her off.
"You don't recognize her?"
"Hm?… Should I? Why would I know a random bounty hunter?"
"Glad it's not just me," Luffy said as he jumped over roofs to get closer to the fight so that Reiju could get a better look. "I couldn't recognize her by her face either."
"Who is she?"
"It's a certain blue-haired girl from the Kingdom of Alabasta."
"… Vivi?!… oh my god, is that her?! She does look a bit like her, yes… Are you sure it's her?"
"Yep."
"Wait how? I thought you said you were in some bounty hunter den?"
"Yeah, and she's a member."
"My god… What happened to her? I read that her country's in the middle of a civil war. The situation didn't seem to be good. People are really unhappy with the King and his family…"
"Yeah, she's in trouble," Luffy said as he landed on an adjacent building to where Zoro and the rest were fighting.
Miss Wednesday whistled at that moment, calling for her duck, and Carue stood up, quacked once… and just stood there wagging his tail.
"Come here! Don't just wag your tail!" Miss Wednesday snapped before Carue obeyed running up to her and she mounted him.
"Alright! Show him your speed that puts even panthers to shame!" She yelled as she spun her peacock slashers.
"Quack!" Carue nodded… before promptly sitting down.
"Hey! Who told you to sit?!" Miss Wednesday snapped smacking him.
"Pfft! Her duck sure is funny!" / "Pfft! Man, I remember her telling me that her country had supersonic ducks or something… guess that's one of them."
The two watched in amusement as the fight progressed with Zoro taking out Mr. Nine. It looked like he was trying to cut the metal bat that Mr. Nine was wielding but he couldn't quite achieve it. Mr. Nine still got taken out fairly easily and Zoro faced off against Miss Wednesday.
"Prepare to die, Mr. Bushido!" Miss Wednesday yelled, standing up on her duck before she started swaying her hips.
"She's dancing in the middle of a fight?"
"Those circular patterns on her dress must be dizzying to look at when she spins like that."
"Oh, it's akin to a hypnotizing ring then. Will Zoro stare at her boobs and fall for it?"
"… He got dizzy! HAHAHAHA! HEY ZORO, DON'T STARE AT BOOBS SO MUCH!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
"SHUT UP!" Zoro yelled, blushing in embarrassment as Miss Wednesday snapped her neck towards Luffy.
"You!" Miss Wednesday snarled.
"Yo!"
"Asshole! Carue, go towards him!" Miss Wednesday ordered and Carue ran… right off the edge of the building and they fell screaming.
Luffy and Zoro watched her fall with a sweat drop before exchanging a look and shrugging.
"You're done for!" Mr. Eight, the last agent who was still standing, yelled as a number of shotguns sprung out from his hair curls. He aimed and fired the shots at Zoro, who jumped out of the way before lunging and slashing him across the chest. He fell off the building too and that was the last of the bounty hunters. Miss Wednesday was the only one who was still conscious but once Mr. Eight fell, she got busy trying to wake him up right below them.
"Had a good workout?" Luffy asked landing next to him.
Zoro sighed, sheathing his swords. "Not many good opponents… and I couldn't cut a metal bat. Just can't seem to do it on command yet."
"You'll get it soon enough," Luffy said as they both sat down at the edge of the building, each with a bottle of booze in hand. Luffy put a hand in his pocket and turned the speaker on. Unless he was sure he was alone, he didn't want to show off the phone to anyone outside the crew, so he decided not to even take it out if it wasn't necessary. People would just assume he had a transponder snail, and he wanted to keep it that way.
"You're on speaker. Go ahead."
"Hello! I'm Bubble."
"Hm?" Zoro tilted his head. "Who?"
"The mystery genius inventor crewmate I talked about. The others already said hi while you were sleeping."
"Ah, I see. I'm Zoro, his swordsman."
"I saw a bit of the fight. You were so badass, Zoro!… At least up until the moment you got dizzy staring at a woman's b-"
"SHUT UP!" Zoro snapped, red in the face.
"I saw it too!" Nami suddenly showed up, sliding next to Luffy with a teasing smirk. "Blue-haired girls, Zoro? That your type?"
"Shut up or someone will lose a tongue!" Zoro growled while the rest laughed.
"Good haul?" Luffy asked Nami.
"Heehee yep! I made ten million!" Nami grinned excitedly twirling her staff.
"Let me guess - Nami's obsessed with money?"
"You have no idea," Luffy and Zoro said in unison.
"So we done here?" Nami asked grabbing Luffy's bottle and downing it.
"Just about…" Luffy said as he watched a duo arrive at the end of their street. One was a man in a full-body coat with the number 5 emblazoned on it and the other was a woman who was wearing lemon-themed clothes and accessories.
"Two more agents?" Zoro noted. "Mr. Five and partner by the looks of it…"
"Doesn't seem like they're looking for us though," Nami commented as they all watched the two stalk towards the two downed agents.
"How pathetic… You lost to a single swordsman," Mr. Five snarled and Miss Wednesday finally noticed the two.
"Mr. Five! Miss Valentine! You're here!"
"Are you idiots just playing around?"
"Kyahahaha! Give them a break. You can't expect them to be as capable as we are!" Miss Valentine smugly laughed.
"If you're Valentine," Luffy suddenly interjected and all eyes turned towards him, "wouldn't chocolates and hearts be more apt instead of the whole lemon theme you've got going on?"
"I get that all the time," Miss Valentine smiled at him. "I happen to love lemons, so for me personally, Valentine's Day is all about lemons. I would love it if someone gave me something made with lemons rather than chocolates."
"Lemons huh? Like in its raw form or are we talking about lemonade here?"
"Sweets made from lemon mostly. Like lemon tart for example."
"Ah, I see… Mmm, it's been a while since I ate lemon tart… or a lemon-blueberry meringue pie…" Luffy drooled just thinking about it and Miss Valentine nodded eagerly while twirling her parasol.
"Kyahaha good that you know the greatness of lemons. I actually wanted to be called Miss Fete du Citron, you know," she said in a complaining tone as she floated up to Luffy and the others. "But our Boss didn't approve of it as it's apparently hard to say."
"Fete du Citron? Lemon festival?" Nami asked, unknowingly getting pulled into the pace of the conversation.
"Yes, it's a festival back home!"
"Is that anything like the tomato festival?" Luffy wondered aloud.
"Oh god no!" Miss Valentine gasped, horrified at the idea. "Imagine lemons being squished and thrown around with their juices getting in people's eyes and cuts and all…" She trailed off, the look of horror slowly morphing into a thoughtful one. "…Although… that would be a good torture method…"
The rest gasped in shock, and even Mr. Five looked a bit unsettled.
"You're a monster," Nami breathed in horror.
"No no!" Miss Valentine quickly backtracked. "It was just a thought… even I'm not that cruel! Kyahaha!"
"Ahem!" Mr. Five cleared his throat getting her attention. "Miss Valentine, please remember that we are here on a mission."
"Right right," Miss Valentine smiled at the Strawhats. "We're not here to kill you, so just stay out of our way and we won't have a problem."
"What are you saying?" Mr. Eight, who had finally regained consciousness due to Miss Wednesday's help, spat.
"Yes, that swordsman was the one who destroyed this town!" Miss Wednesday added accusingly. "Please take him down!"
"You must be joking," Mr. Five scoffed and the two stiffened up. "Do you honestly think we came all the way out here just to be your backup?"
"Then… what business do you have here?" Mr. Eight asked as he and Miss Wednesday looked on in dread.
"Surely you must have guessed…" Mr. Five snarled. "A crime severe enough that the boss would personally dispatch us all the way out here. Our organization prides itself on secrecy, so nosing around for anyone's identity is a sin. And the gravest sin of all is trying to uncover the Boss' identity…"
"Our investigations led us to discover that spies from a certain kingdom have infiltrated our ranks," Miss Valentine laughed as she floated above Miss Wednesday.
"The spies are those who are missing from the Alabasta Kingdom-"
"Die! Igarappappa!" Mr. Eight cut them off by suddenly shooting at them with his hair shotguns. "On my name as the Captain of Alabasta Royal Guard, I won't let you lay a finger on the princess!"
Finally dropping her facade, Vivi screamed in horror as Igaram's attack had no effect on the two agents and Mr. Five picked his nose and launched a booger at him, engulfing him in a small explosion. "Igaram!"
Miss Valentine dropped on Vivi at the same moment, aiming a kick at her head. Vivi ducked down and the kick grazed her head and broke off the hair ornament which resulted in her hair flowing down. And finally, she looked more like the Vivi that Luffy recognized.
"The spies are Igaram, the Captain of the Royal Guard and the Princess herself, Nefertari Vivi!" Mr. Five announced as Vivi grit her teeth in frustration, anger and helplessness.
"A princess?" Nami gasped and Luffy could hear her mind making a plan to extort money from them.
Now that the secret was out, Luffy didn't have to wait anymore. "Want to take them out?" He asked turning to Zoro and Nami.
"We're sticking our heads into this?" Zoro sighed.
"Of course we are!" Nami answered. "There's money to be made here!"
"Anyone want the two?" Luffy repeated.
"That guy launched boogers," Nami made a face of his disgust, and even Zoro made a similar face. "I don't want to go anywhere near that."
"They don't seem strong either…" Zoro said looking bored.
"I'll finish it quickly then," Luffy said as he jumped down and landed in front of Vivi, who was just about to be attacked by Mr. Five.
"You?!" Vivi snarled. "I don't have time to deal with you!"
"Relax. I'm here to help."
"Help?"
"You're helping her?" Mr. Five drawled as he picked his nose. "Yo-"
Luffy didn't waste time as he lunged at Mr. Five and punched him in the gut. An explosion engulfed him, but it was so weak that he barely felt anything. He punched him another time, sending him crashing into a wall, and he was out.
Miss Valentine gawked at him, and the moment Luffy turned his head towards her and their eyes met, she floated away in fear.
"Wai-"
Luffy launched both his arms at her, grabbed her shoulders, snapped himself towards her, and before she could even scream, head-butted her right under her chin, and she fell down unconscious.
During the very short fight, Nami and Zoro also jumped down understanding that Luffy wanted to protect the princess for some reason. As they watched him, Igaram, who was hit by Mr. Five's explosion earlier and hadn't seen Luffy jump into action, latched onto Zoro's legs. "Sir Swordsman, please grant me a humble request! Please protect and escort our princess to Alabasta and save her! I know it's an unreasonable request but those are devil fruit users and I am no match for them! You shall be rewarded handsomely! Please, I beg of you!"
"We alr-" Zoro began to say that they already were protecting her but Nami cut him off.
"Of course we will! For the right price of course!" She said making a berri symbol with her fingers.
"Yes yes! We'll pay!"
"One billion berries," Nami said getting a shocked gasp from Igaram, Vivi, Zoro, Luffy and Reiju.
"You're mad!" Igaram gaped.
"Oh? Is your princess not even wo-" Nami began before Zoro tapped her shoulder and pointed at Luffy who was standing right next to them. Her eyes widened as she looked at Luffy who had already finished taking care of the two and had joined them while Igaram was still begging Zoro. "Why did you finish the fight so quickly?! I was getting a good deal out of him!"
"One billion berries is a crazy amount even for a normal kingdom, Nami. With Alabasta in the middle of a civil war, there's no way they can pay that."
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Vivi, who was confused by the whole thing, screamed interrupting them. "Why are you helping me?! How did you defeat those two like it was nothing?! One billion berries?! Are you crazy?! There's no way any kingdom has that much money to just give away!" she snapped asking all the questions that were on her mind at that moment.
"You already defeated them?" Igaram asked shocked before noticing the unconscious agents in the distance. "Oh thank heavens…"
"Answering in reverse order, yes she's crazy. We're strong. Just because," Luffy replied taking a seat on a nearby barrel. "Now can you please take a seat, calm down cause you're safe, and explain why a princess is infiltrating a bounty hunter organization."
Zoro sat down leaning against a wall while Nami stood waiting for her to speak.
Vivi was extremely confused at the turn of events, but not knowing what else to do, just let out a deep sigh and plopped down on a stack of hay across from him.
"I'm very grateful that you saved my life. Thank you," Vivi first bowed to them. "You already seem to know about the civil war in Alabasta?"
"I've never heard of it," Nami said shaking her head.
"Basically, civil unrest among the populace for the last few years." Bubble responded.
Vivi looked around trying to find who the voice belonged to when Luffy patted his pocket. "Transponder snail," and added "Don't worry, it's encrypted." when she looked alarmed.
"The citizens are real angry with the crown there," Reiju continued. "And some pretty severe accusations have been made against the King."
"Those accusations aren't true! My father didn't do a single thing he's accused of!" Vivi hastily defended.
"Someone is framing the King then?"
Vivi nodded calming herself down. "Yes. Our country was once one of the most peaceful nations on the Grand Line… but…" Her shoulders drooped. "Rebellions have been aplenty in recent years. Riots, uprisings and revolts have thrown my Kingdom into turmoil… One day, Igaram heard rumours that the agents of a secret organization called Baroque Works were the ones who were stirring up the citizens, creating unrest and turning people against the crown."
"But try as I might, I couldn't find any info-ahem ma~ ma~ mah! information about these criminals."
"That's when I decided to infiltrate the organization itself so that I could uncover the one pulling all the strings and learn of their intention…"
"You're one brave princess," Zoro nodded, impressed.
"So, what's the goal of the organization?" Nami asked.
"Well, on the outside, it has the goal of creating a peaceful utopia. The boss deceives his minions with talks of creating an ideal country, but their real goal," Vivi's expression soured, "is the conquest of Alabasta! I need to return home as fast as possible so that I can expose the truth before my people throw themselves into Baroque Works clutches."
"I see," Nami sighed solemnly. "That's why you can't spare a billion berries…"
"Does she have selective hearing or something?" Zoro grumbled annoyed. "You already told her that even a normal kingdom can't pay that much…"
Nami just ignored him, as if she really had selective hearing.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Vivi…" Reiju said, pity laced in her voice. "So, who's the bastard that needs to be taken down to get you your freedom back?"
"You mean the boss' identity?!" Vivi perked up in alarm before waving her hands placatingly. "Please don't ask me that! You're better off not knowing! If I tell you, Baroque Works will hunt you down too!"
"Hahaha yeah just leave us out of it," Nami nervously laughed. "The guy is trying to take over an entire kingdom, so he must be a really dangerous person."
"Yes, exactly," Vivi agreed, nodding her head sagely. "No matter how strong you are, you will be no match against Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea!"
A beat passed before Vivi gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth in horror, Igaram also gasped in horror, Nami went pale as she hugged herself, Zoro sweat-dropped, and Reiju went "Shit."
"You just told us…" Zoro deadpanned.
Luffy lightly chuckled before they all felt an intense stare on them and looked up to see the vulture-otter pair perched upon a building. The pair studied all their faces and looked at each other before the otter jumped on the vulture's back and they flew away. Luff had sensed them a while back, but didn't bother doing anything as it wouldn't matter.
"WHAT WAS THAT BIRD AND OTTER JUST NOW?!" Nami shrieked as she shook a crying Vivi. "DID THEY GO OFF TO REPORT TO THE BOSS THAT YOU'VE TOLD US ABOUT HIM?! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NOW?"
"Heh… We get to fight a warlord so soon!" Zoro smirked and Luffy laughed.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Vivi whimpered. "It just accidentally slipped out…"
"You think saying it accidentally slipped out is gonna make it better!" Nami screeched still shaking poor Vivi like a ragdoll. "We've just entered the Grand Line and we've already gotten into a conflict with a Warlord! This is just too much!"
"We're lucky we're getting to meet him so soon."
"Shishishi yeah!"
"Luffy! It's a Warlord! Are you sure you can fight him?!" Reiju worriedly asked.
"Yes, Bubble! Put some sense into these two idiots!" She yelled stomping up to the both of them and grabbing them by the collars. "We're leaving. Now! They don't know what we look like yet, so we can still escape!"
"Calm dow-"
"No!" she shot back with desperation in her eyes, surprising the two men. "I-It can't happen again!"
Her eyes lingered on Zoro's chest and understanding dawned on Luffy's face as to why she had become so fearful. Unlike in the story, she had actually been there and had seen Zoro when he almost died against another Warlord, so it looked like she had been a bit traumatized by the mere mention of the word.
Sounds of pencil against paper interrupted them and everyone saw that the animal duo were back again. Mr. 13 sketched in his sketch pad pretty quickly and showed them their extremely accurate portraits.
"Can't let you go!" Nami yelled pulling her shock staff out and launched the grappling hook towards the bird. Mr. 13 quite easily swatted the hook away with his seashell before jumping on Miss Friday and the two flew away.
"Luffy! Stop them!" Nami demanded.
"Nah, it won't matter. We've already caused a commotion by destroying this town, so we're already on their hit list," Luffy waved it off with a grin.
"He is correct," Igaram also chimed in. "You have defeated Mr. Five and Miss Valentine too, so they wi-ahem ma~ ma~ mah! will send people after you regardless."
Nami slumped down, clutching her knees to her chest, with a cloud of depression hanging over her as she cried, "Now, there's nowhere left to run either…"
"I'm so sorry…" Vivi cried too as she tried to console her.
"Well, in any case, all of us are on the hit list now!" Zoro excitedly said.
"Shishishi this is gonna be fun."
"Luffy, Crocodile is a Warlord! A logia too! You can't fight him!" Reiju yelled again.
"It's fine, it's fine. Don't worry about it." Luffy just shrugged it off.
"I apologize that our actio- ahem ma~ ma~ mah!" Igaram interjected, "actions have put you in danger, but have you decided whether you will be escorting Princess Vivi to Alabasta? It is of the highest priority that sh-"
"Yeah yeah, we'll take her home." Luffy cut him off.
"Just refuse his request!" Nami snapped but it fell on deaf ears.
"I thank you." Igaram gave a deep bow with a smile. "We can't pay you a billion berries but we will definitely compens-"
"No need, no nee-"
"The hell do you mean no need?!" Nami lunged and shook him, while Luffy laughed and still insisted that they didn't need any compensation despite Nami's protest.
"Don't worry, she's just like that," Zoro said when Igaram and Vivi looked at Nami with concern and also a bit of fear.
"Alright then. Princess Vivi, I have a plan."
———