> And he had no idea if this cheat engine of a phone would work twice.
Unfortunately, the cheat engine had opinions.
> [Good morning, Kairo Jin.]
[Warning: Divine Battery at 1%. Recommend limiting activity to sarcasm and avoidance.]
Kairo stared at the screen blearily, his face still mashed into his pillow. "You mean I saved my life with 2% divine juice and now I'm on 1%? What is this, an iPhone update?"
The Divine App glitched once, flickering like it was offended.
> [Installing Minor Patch… Sarcastic Comebacks Lv. 2 acquired.]
"…Neat," he muttered, pulling the covers over his head.
"Kairo, you're gonna be late for the Rankings," Juno said from the doorway, toothbrush in mouth, hoodie inside-out. "Arkell's gonna turn you into a janitor mascot if you miss it."
Kairo groaned. "Do I get a mop of destiny?"
"No, just a sweaty bucket of failure."
"Charming."
---
Divine Academy – Ranking Grounds
The Ranking Grounds looked like a cross between a futuristic arena and a gladiator pit designed by someone who binge-watched sci-fi anime. The crowd was already gathering in the bleachers, students murmuring as the Divine Aptitude Rankings loaded on the holographic display.
At the very top, bold and bright:
#1: LINA SERIS – 98% Sync – Class: Seraphic Aegis
Just beneath her:
#2: TOBIN VELGAR – 93% Sync – Class: Flameborne Duelist
And waaaay down at the bottom...
#102: KAIRO JIN – 0.5% Sync – Class: Error
"Nice," Kairo muttered. "I've been promoted from 'Trash' to 'Error.' That's growth, right?"
Juno clapped him on the back. "Hey, at least now you're not technically human. You're a glitch."
Tobin, of course, wasn't far behind.
"Did you hack the board to make yourself show up?" he sneered. "Or did your phone actually poop out something real this time?"
Kairo gave a deadpan blink. "Jealous that my OS is cooler than your fire hands?"
Before Tobin could reply, Professor Arkell stepped forward, his voice amplified by a divine mic that made everything he said sound like a prophecy.
"Today, each of you will face your personal trial—a simulated scenario tailored to your ability level. Rankings will be adjusted based on performance."
The crowd buzzed. Some students looked excited. Others looked like they'd eaten expired magic mushrooms.
Kairo? He looked like he wanted to crawl into a USB port and disappear.
---
Simulation Room – Trial Initiation
Kairo stood alone inside the room. Everything was white—walls, floor, even the air felt sterile.
A countdown appeared in front of him:
> TRIAL BEGINNING: 10… 9… 8…
He gripped his phone like it was Excalibur.
> [Warning: Divine Battery Critically Low. Estimated runtime: 2 minutes.]
[You may activate one downloaded skill.]
"One? That's it? That's like asking me to fight a minotaur with a flip-flop!"
> [You are free to panic.]
The room shifted.
Suddenly, he was standing in the middle of a burning city. Buildings crumbled around him, fire demons roared in the distance, and the sky was filled with ash.
A single glowing enemy stood ahead: a mock version of Tobin, but scaled up like a raid boss.
> [Trial Enemy: Flamebound Tyrant - Difficulty: HARD]
"Hard? I'm still in tutorial mode!"
The demon Tobin roared and hurled a wave of fire at him. Kairo dove behind a half-melted car.
> [Skill Slot Available: Choose One]
– Blazing Counter
– Divine Dash
– Mockery Aura
"…You know what? Let's roll with the dumb one."
"Mockery Aura, go!"
> [Skill Activated: Mockery Aura Lv.1]
(Taunts enemies and lowers their intelligence temporarily.)
The boss paused mid-attack. "You dare mock me?!"
Kairo stood up and cupped his hands. "Hey, fire boy! You look like a barbecue accident that got rejected by Satan's grill!"
The demon roared and charged, accuracy clearly dropped.
Kairo ducked, rolled, and—miraculously—landed a kick to the side of the demon's molten leg.
> [Trial Success: Partial Completion — Rank Increased to #87]
Before he could celebrate, the simulation fizzled out and dumped him back into the white room. He dropped to one knee, panting.
> [Energy Depleted. Recharge Required. Auto-Sync Offline.]
Kairo muttered, "So… sarcasm saved my life again. I'm gonna make that my brand."
---
Back in the Arena
The rankings updated with a shimmering ripple across the display.
#87: KAIRO JIN – 2.3% Sync – Class: "Glitched Trickster"
Students blinked. Some actually gasped. Lina raised an eyebrow. Even Tobin looked vaguely concerned.
Juno whooped from the stands. "Let's GOOOO! My guy moved up fifteen places using nothing but snark and luck!"
Kairo limped out of the simulation chamber, high-fiving Milo and dodging Arkell's intense glare.
He checked his phone one last time.
> [New Trial Available Tomorrow.]
[Warning: Your enemies are watching.]
"…Cool cool cool. No pressure."
---
And thus began Kairo's rise through the ranks—powered by sarcasm, accidental skill downloads… and the desperate hope his phone didn't brick during a boss fight.