Finn Caldwell's life had officially hit rock bottom, splattered with miso broth and garnished with cosmic disaster. Slurp Haven's dim glow—courtesy of Snookums the lava wyrm's molten scales—cast long shadows over the wrecked noodle shop, where three Codex enforcers loomed like bureaucrats from a multiversal IRS.
Their silver armor glinted with runes, their cloaked leader's gravelly voice still echoing: Surrender the slime, or face judgment.
Finn gripped a scalding pot of broth, his palms burning, his heart pounding like a mana reactor on meltdown. He wasn't a hero. He was an eighteen-year-old noodle cook with a Trash-tier slime and a Demon King proposing marriage in his shop. But Gloppity-Gloo was his Familiar, and he'd be damned if he let these cosmic cops take her.
"Chat, it's go time!" Gloppity-Gloo squealed, her goddess form—neon-green hair, liquid-light dress, curves that could crash an Aether Ship—striking a pose beside the counter. Her SlimeTok livestream screen hovered, buzzing with 5 million viewers and climbing.
"Should I slime these goons or flirt for the plot? Vote!"
Comments flooded in:
User SpiceFiend: SLIME 'EM!
User VoidChaos: FLIRT, QUEEN!
Her voice, a mix of influencer hype and cosmic swagger, made Finn's eye twitch.
"Can you not turn this into a reality show?" he snapped, hoisting the pot like a grenade. The broth sloshed, its ginger-and-garlic steam stinging his eyes.
"Bestie, clout is power," Gloppity-Gloo chirped, twirling her hair. "Six million viewers say we're iconic!"
Zaltharion Varkoth, Demon King of the Abyss Shard, stepped forward, his obsidian horns catching Snookums's glow. His tailored suit was infuriatingly pristine, his grin all sharp teeth and bad intentions.
"Insolent enforcers!" he boomed, sweeping an arm like he was auditioning for a multiversal opera. "You dare threaten my radiant bride? The Abyss Shard will reduce you to ash!"
The cloaked leader raised a gloved hand, mana crackling like a thunderstorm. "Stand down, Varkoth. The Heart of Gloppity belongs to the Celestial Bureaucracy. The slime is merely its vessel."
Finn's stomach lurched. The Heart of Gloppity—that glowing rock his slime had eaten—was a Nexus Relic, and now it was painting a cosmic target on his back. Jane, Slurp Haven's owner, leaned against a splintered table, her sentient ladle Familiar, Spoonifer, humming a battle tune that sounded like a drunk bard's lament.
"Kid," she said, her gray bun wobbling, "you're about to have a very bad day."
"Already there," Finn muttered, his boots crunching on glass. The portal above the counter pulsed, spitting purple sparks that smelled like burnt sugar.
The two armored goons flanked their leader, drawing rune-etched swords that hummed with mana. Snookums growled, its collar jangling. Finn's cleaver was back on the counter—useless against armor—so he tightened his grip on the broth pot, praying his noodle-cooking skills could double as a weapon.
"Last chance, Caldwell," the leader rasped. "Surrender the slime."
Finn's jaw clenched. He wasn't brave, but he was stubborn, and Gloppity-Gloo's chaotic, clout-chasing nonsense had wormed its way into his heart.
"Go to hell," he said, and hurled the pot.
The broth arced through the air, a steaming missile of garlic and rage. It hit the leader square in the chest, splashing over their armor with a hiss. The enforcer staggered, runes flickering as the scalding liquid seeped into joints. The goons lunged, but Gloppity-Gloo sprang into action, her body morphing into a tidal wave of green goo.
"SLIME YEET!" she shrieked, slamming into one goon and sending him crashing into a table.
Her SlimeTok screen exploded:
User ChaosCake: QUEEN SHIT!
Zal clapped, his laughter echoing. "Magnificent, my bride!"
He snapped his fingers, and Snookums roared, spitting a fireball that singed the second goon's cloak. The shop was a warzone—broth dripping, tables splintering, Spoonifer spinning like a manic conductor.
Finn ducked a sword swing, grabbing a ladle and chucking it at the leader. It bounced off their helmet with a clang.
"Jane, help!" he yelled, scrambling behind the counter.
"Already busy!" Jane called, tossing chili flakes into the air. The flakes ignited, forming a smokescreen that stung Finn's eyes. Spoonifer dove into the fray, smacking a goon's face like a disgruntled chef.
The leader recovered, their armor steaming, and raised a hand. A mana pulse knocked Finn to the floor, his ribs aching.
"Enough!" they snarled, summoning a cage of runes around Gloppity-Gloo. She reverted to her slime form, trapped, her SlimeTok screen flickering.
"Chat, send help!" she wailed, her googly eyes wide.
Finn's blood ran cold. "Let her go!"
He grabbed another pot—empty, useless—and charged, only to freeze as the portal above pulsed violently, spitting a shockwave that rattled his teeth.
Gloppity-Gloo glowed, the Heart of Gloppity's power surging.
"Bestie, hold on!" she yelled, her body expanding, goo flooding the rune cage. The cage shattered, and her form shifted—dragon wings, neon scales, a tail that looked like a disco ball.
"MEGA SLIME MODE!" she roared, her voice shaking the shop. Her SlimeTok hit 10 million viewers, comments a blur:
User NoodleLord: WTF IS HAPPENING?!
The transformation backfired. The portal warped, sucking in debris like a cosmic vacuum. Finn lunged for Gloppity-Gloo, but the vortex grabbed them both, yanking them through a kaleidoscope of colors and screams. Zal dove after them, Snookums in tow, shouting, "My bride!"
Jane's voice—"Kid, don't die!"—faded as the portal slammed shut.
Finn hit the ground hard, his face smacking something hot and gritty. He groaned, spitting out ash, his body aching like he'd been tossed in a mana blender. The air was thick with sulfur, the sky a churning red streaked with black clouds. Jagged spires loomed in the distance, lava rivers glowing like veins. The Abyss Shard. Of course.
Gloppity-Gloo, back in her goddess form, stood over him, filming. "Chat, we just PORTALED! Is this giving vacation vibes or final boss energy? Vote!"
Her SlimeTok screen hovered, somehow still online.
Finn staggered to his feet, his apron singed. "You teleported us? To the Abyss Shard?"
"My bad!" she chirped. "Mega Slime Mode's got bugs. But we're trending multiversally!"
Zal landed beside them, Snookums coiling like a loyal dog. "My heart, you've brought us home!" he purred, pulling a scroll from his suit. "Allow me to read my latest poem—"
"No!" Finn snapped, scanning the volcanic wasteland. A distant rumble grew louder, and a massive shadow loomed—a floating fortress carved from obsidian, bristling with cannons and Codex runes. The enforcers had followed them.A voice boomed from the fortress: "Finn Caldwell, your rebellion ends here."
Finn's heart sank. "Gloppity, any more bright ideas?"
She grinned, neon hair sparkling. "Chat's voting for chaos. Buckle up, bestie."