*BAM!* The sound of two tiny foreheads colliding echoed through the bustling marketplace. Qin Hao, the adorably naive eight-year-old with a sparkly "Supreme Bone" (still in beta mode), glared at Lin San, the street-smart orphan-turned-protagonist-in-training. Their eyes locked over a rusty trinket that looked like it had been dug out of a dragon's junk drawer.
"**I saw it first!**" Qin Hao puffed his cheeks, channeling the energy of a disgruntled hamster.
"**Nuh-uh!**" Lin San shot back, arms crossed like a budget superhero. "My *protagonist senses* tingled three seconds before yours!"
Meanwhile, Qin Feng—the self-proclaimed "Anti-Hero Extraordinaire"—leaned against a nearby stall selling "**Mystical Pickled Radishes**" (guaranteed to make you *enlightened* or your money back!). His brain was doing mental gymnastics. *Why am I babysitting these two walking plot devices? One sneezes and accidentally starts a revolution. The other trips and discovers a lost civilization. And here I am, just trying to* ***not*** *get struck by divine lightning!*
The object of their feud? A grimy, lopsided cauldron that even a goblin flea market would reject. To everyone else, it screamed "**I'll give you tetanus!**" But to our trio of chaos incarnate? It whispered *~mYStiCaL p0wErZ~* in Comic Sans.
"**How much for the… uh, 'artisanal antique'?**" Qin Feng drawled, flipping a jade token engraved with "**Daddy's Credit Card**" between his fingers.
The vendor—a sweaty man whose resume included "**Tomb Raider**," "**Professional Screamer**," and "**Survivor of 10,000% Workplace Fatality Rate**"—gulped. "F-For you, Young Master Qin? A *steal* at 888 spirit stones! Lucky number, very auspicious! Brings wealth, happiness, and *definitely* doesn't curse your bloodline!"
Gasps rippled through the crowd. A farmer dropped his "**Immortal Turnip**." A monk choked on his "**Enlightenment Tea**." Even the radish seller muttered, "*Dang, that's* ***bold*** *for a glorified paperweight.*"
Qin Feng smirked. *Classic protagonist bait!* He'd read enough *Xianxia For Dummies* to know the rules:
**The uglier the item, the more OP it is.** **If two Heaven's Chosen fight over it, sell your kidneys to buy it first.** **Profit.**
"**Sold!**" He tossed the token. "Send the bill to *The Bank of Dad*."
Lin San's jaw dropped. "*Eight hundred eighty-eight?!* That's, like, three villages' annual GDP!" His inner monologue raged: *Why does rich people logic sound like a raccoon playing stock market simulator?!*
Qin Hao tugged his brother's sleeve with puppy-dog eyes upgraded to **MAXIMUM GUILT™**. "Big Broooooo, can I *pleeeease* have it? I'll trade you my birthday money, my candy stash, *and* the secret location of Mom's hidden wine collection!"
Qin Feng's eyes glittered like a dragon spotting shiny loot. *Ah, the sweet sound of gullibility!* He crouched, adopting his patented "*Trust Me, I'm a Nice Guy*" pose. "Tell you what, kiddo—since I'm *such* a generous brother…" *Cue fake angelic halo.* "...you pay 800 stones, and I'll cover the *rest*. Deal?"
"**DEAL!**" Qin Hao cheered, dumping a pouch of glowing spirit stones into his brother's hands. The crowd facepalmed in unison.
"*And thus,*" Qin Feng narrated to an imaginary camera, "*the family business thrives.*"
Lin San squinted at the cauldron. "*Why do I feel like we just got scammed by a used-car salesman?*"
---
**Meanwhile, at Vendor's Mental Breakdown Corner™:**
The seller trembled as he recalled his dark past. *Flashback to the "Great Tomb Raid of '08"—10,000 fellow adventurers dead, buried under bad luck and worse OSHA compliance. Only he survived… by hiding in a latrine. And for what? This stupid pot!*
But now? He danced with joy. "*Who's laughing now, Dave from Accounting?! I'M RICH, BABY!*"
---
As the brothers walked away—Qin Hao happily lugging his new "**Legendary Artifact**" (currently functioning as a hamster cage), Qin Feng counting his profits, and Lin San side-eyeing them like a skeptical meerkat—the universe itself facepalmed.
**System Notification:**
*+1 Chaotic Neutral Point unlocked!*
*New Achievement: "Scammed a Supreme Bone Prodigy (And Made It Look Cute)"*
*Warning: Karma is taking notes. Prepare for meteor strike.*
---
**Author's Snack Break Commentary:**
*In today's lesson, kids: Always bet on the guy who brings credit cards to a magic sword fight. Also, if your sibling offers you a "great deal," run. Just run.* 🥠✨