Akira approached the battlefield—and to his surprise, the loot drop was glorious.
Apparently, his katana wasn't just sharp—it also had a passive skill that doubled the rewards per defeated enemy. And having taken down the Goblin King, the loot looked like it came straight out of a treasure festival.
Cecilia, efficient as ever, had already gathered everything neatly into her bag without even breaking a sweat. Still, she grumbled under her breath.
"Tch… damn ridiculous technique. Now I don't even have underwear…"
"Uhh… Minu, how do we turn her back to normal? That club still looks at me like it wants blood."
"Oh, that's easy," Minu said, floating lazily while munching a cookie for no apparent reason. "Just spin the coin on her necklace. She'll go back to being the sweet maid you know. I think. Vampires don't come with a manual."
Cecilia slowly approached, cracking her knuckles ominously.
"What's our next move, Master?"
"I was thinking we should push a bit further and set up camp. According to Mikupedia, there's an abandoned rural village up ahead."
"If the villagers see Faraluz has a new monarch, maybe we can revive the place… and score some food while we're at it."
"Tch… you still owe me a new pair of panties," Cecilia growled, folding her arms. "But I'll let it slide… for now. Just to be clear: I'm not cooking."
She leaned in toward Akira, moving like a seductive snake preparing to cuddle its dinner.
He gulped, raised his hand… and spun the coin on her necklace.
"See you soon, weakling," Cecilia whispered with a confident, dangerous smile.
A white flash enveloped her. Her outfit changed, her expression softened, and her murderous aura vanished like it was never there.
"S-sorry, Master…" the sweet version of Cecilia stammered, lowering her gaze. "Forgive my rudeness… I can't control myself when I unleash my power…"
"Well, the good news is you're back," Akira said, relieved. "And no humans or fairies were harmed during this incident."
"Yeah, but some undergarments didn't make it," Minu added, spinning in midair.
Just then, Cecilia shivered. The breeze reminded her of her current… lack of coverage. Without a second thought, she slapped Akira across the face.
"Perv!"
The slap echoed through the forest like a divine summons for instant karma.
And so, with a fresh mark on his face, a morally questionable victory, and zero dignity intact, our not-so-heroic hero continued his journey toward the forgotten village of Greenhill.
The moon finally peeked out, casting its lazy light across the broken trail, and—naturally—they had to set up camp halfway there.
Because the weak little human couldn't see in the dark. He didn't even have basic night vision.
Fortunately, the kind, magnificent, ridiculously handsome and elegantly ambiguous god Uzaki had gifted him a survival and camping kit—with food rations sealed in retro-waifu packaging.
"…Is it just me, or is the narrator praising the femboy god a lot?" Akira asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Akira, my dude… we don't have the budget for an editor, an illustrator, or even a reader. You really think we've got a narrator?" Minu replied, showing him a holographic chart where the story's metrics were crashing.
"…You're right. If this were a webnovel, we wouldn't even break two reads."
"Exactly. Now you get it. The narrator… is Uzaki."
"WHAT?!"
"Wanna hear me do the sexy anime girl voice? Like, otaku-chan~?"
"NO, PLEASE!"
Meanwhile, Cecilia—clearly possessing more brain cells and survival instinct than the two of them combined—had already set up the tent, lit the campfire, and cooked an aromatic curry from an old family vampire recipe.
She served it with elegance, on nearly-cracked plates… but the taste was divine.
"I made it from a special recipe… back when Faraluz still had a kitchen," she said with a faint smile.
Akira took a bite, and his eyes lit up.
"This… this is amazing!"
"Of course. I don't cook often… but when I do, it's for someone important—and I add a little love," she whispered, her gaze soft and warm.
Minu froze midair, hovering somewhere between suspicion and magical gossip.
"Did she just drop a romance flag?"
"Cut it out, I just wanna eat in peace!" Akira mumbled, his face red like an anime tomato.
And so, under a moon that looked like it had been taped lazily onto the sky, the party spent their first night in this absurd world—one ruled by broken narrative contracts, embarrassing transformations… and homemade curry.
"Is the chapter ending already? Ugh, lame… At this rate, Faraluz is never getting restored. And I'll never get to buy my figures again…" Akira grumbled, twisting in his makeshift sleeping bag.
"It's just that—" Minu began, with her usual fairy voice full of unnecessary trivia.
"Blahhh! I know what you're gonna say," he cut her off, mocking her tone with an exaggerated whine. "'If wi din't hiv thi budgit fir thi chiptir, ni pri-liis critiris…'"
"How rude!" she squeaked, puffing her cheeks in wounded fairy dignity. "I was going to say there's a surprise in the next chapter… but now I don't feel like telling you."
"Okay, okay! Don't be mad—you're wonderful, magnificent, and absolutely functional, Minu-sama…" Akira said quickly, with a nervous smile.
She turned her back while floating away, but her right wing was definitely still listening, just in case he said something even nicer.
And so, with one indignant fairy, one discreetly blushing maid, and one protagonist about to face his first trial for emotional and textile-related damage, a big surprise awaited them in Greenhill…
…assuming the chapter didn't get canceled first due to lack of budget, clicks, or divine patience.