I died the way most modern men do: violently, pathetically, and after telling a room full of coworkers I had a girlfriend named "Anastasia" who definitely wasn't AI-generated. I was halfway through describing her "yandere tendencies" when I slipped on a spilled iced coffee, fell into traffic, and got absolutely curb-stomped by a Mitsubishi delivery truck.
I should've been dead... but somehow, I woke up.
As I opened my eyes, a busty figure was standing in front of me.
"Uh... what's going on?"
"Welcome, Norizz-san, to the land of the losers!"
His vision is finally losing the blur.
He looks up to her face, but his eyes dart back to her chest. It's pretty hard to miss.
"The land of what now?"
"Losers. Dead-end dudes. Simps. Addicts. Redditors. You're home, Norizz."
She flips a clipboard open with nails so manicured they could kill a man.
"You've been selected for the Divine Rehabilitation Program for Idiots. And guess what? You got the MILF route."
"I... I don't think I picked-"
"You didn't. But your internet history did."
[System Initialized.]
Welcome to MILF CONQUEST ONLINE.Your divine system rewards all poor life decisions.
Norizz blinked. His nose started bleeding. The goddess just smiled.
"Alright, I'm sending you away. Good luck!"
"Wait... what does this-"
Before he could finish his sentence, the Goddess throws him through a portal.
Norizz landed face-first in a bed. No, wait, this was boobs.
"Mnngh!"
They were warm, plush, and suspiciously welcoming. A hand cupped his head before he could bounce off. A soft, sultry voice followed:
"Oh my… you must be the emotional support puppy the goddess sent me."
He peeled himself away and stared up into the cleavage of a dangerously curvy woman in a black lace corset, a silk robe barely hanging on her shoulders. Her hair was long and silver, her eyeliner deadly. The kind of woman who could kill you with a kiss or a tax audit.
He tried to sit up. Her hand held him down. Not firmly… but possessively.
"I'm Morgana," she whispered, tracing a gloved finger down his cheek. "I raise the dead. And right now… I'd like to raise something else."
[SYSTEM ALERT]"MILF #001 - Morgana the Death Mage - has entered 'Tease Mode.'Warning: Blood loss imminent. Wear protection.*
[Achievement Unlocked: "Boobs Before Dialogue"]+1 Affection+1 Nosebleed+1 Erection (Uncontrollable)
Norizz yelped and rolled away, crashing into a candelabra and knocking over a vase full of black roses.
"I-I-I'm here to help you with your emotional damage!" he blurted.
She smirked, amused. "Then why are you pitching a tent, little healer?"
Norizz tried to back away, but his legs tangled in the silky sheets, and he toppled like a fallen Jenga tower made entirely of virgin energy.
"I'm, uh, I'm not good with women!" he blurted, face beet red. "I mean, I respect you! As a person! As a mother! As... oh God, is that a whip on the nightstand?"
Morgana purred. "You noticed."
He scrambled backward until his head hit a velvet headboard, eyes darting around like a prey animal trying to find the least horny corner of the room. There were none. Every corner dripped with candles, lingerie, and ominously glowing spell circles drawn in lip gloss.
She stalked toward him, hips swaying like sin itself.
"I, uh, have trauma!" Norizz tried. "Lots of trauma. Childhood stuff. I never got hugged."
"Oh sweetie," she said, climbing onto the bed. "Then let Mommy fix that."
He squeaked. Squeaked. Like a chew toy.
[System Alert]You are now within MILF Morgana's Domain: "The Bedroom of Eternal Night."Status effects applied:
+10 Arousal
"Flustered Virgin" debuff active
Morgana is now at Affection Level 2: "Curious Cougar."
She leaned in close, eyes gleaming. "Now… why don't you tell me about these 'emotional issues' of yours, little healer?"
"I once cried during a pizza commercial," he whispered.
She paused, then snorted.
And then she laughed. Full-bodied. Sexy. Wicked.
"Oh God. You are pathetic. I'm keeping you."
Suddenly she straddled him, pinning his wrists with a strength that said "necromancer" but a smirk that screamed "dommy mommy."
"I've raised undead kings from bone dust," she whispered in his ear. "You think I can't handle a trembling little incel?"
"I-it's not that I don't want this!" Norizz gasped. "I just, I've never done, like, I only watched videos, and most of them ended with stepmoms getting stuck in weird places."
"Oh, I am stuck," she cooed, grinding down. "Stuck here, with you. And you with me."
[Lust Threshold Reached.]Initiating MILF Event: "Bone Zone – Tier I."Warning: Excessive awkwardness may cause premature detonation.
System Perk Activated: "Beginner's Luck."
Morgana's nails trailed down his chest, and despite the stammering, the fear, the zero experience, he felt a dangerous, burning confidence flicker inside him.
"Y-you should know," he said, voice shaking, "I lasted almost three minutes one time. Alone. Without... you know. Help."
Morgana blinked. Then smiled.
"Three minutes?" she purred. "That's pretty pathetic. I like it."
And then she kissed him.
Norizz's pants blew up.
Literally.
A button shot across the room like a bullet and embedded itself in the wall with a metallic ping. The zipper combusted in a flash of enchanted fire, and his boxers disintegrated like they'd seen too much and wanted out.
[System Alert]"Wardrobe Malfunction: Divine Erection" triggered.
Clothing durability: 0%
Dignity: Missing in action
Status: Naked and Afraid
Morgana pulled back, blinking in mock surprise.
"Oh my. Did someone just cast 'Magic Missile'?"
"I-I didn't do that on purpose!" Norizz squeaked, trying to cover himself with a pillow, which somehow made things worse.
"I can't take this," he gasped, crawling backwards. "This is too much, I think I'm allergic to sex."
But Morgana wasn't done. Not even close.
She stood, robes falling open like curtains to a very, very mature theater. She reached for the nightstand and pulled out a black leather whip, glowing faintly with infernal energy.
"Then let's start your exposure therapy, sweetheart."
She cracked the whip once. The sound echoed like a thunderclap through the chamber. Norizz flinched so hard he might've developed time travel.
"I-I-I'm not into that!"
[System Perk Activated: Hidden Kink Detected]+20% Damage Resistance (Whipping)+10 Arousal per strikeAchievement Unlocked: "Yes Mommy, May I Have Another?"
The first lash kissed his thigh. It didn't hurt, it tingled. Like his soul had been spanked.
"W-what was that?"
She licked her lips. "The first lesson."
The second strike wrapped around his chest like a lover's embrace. He moaned. Actually moaned.
The third hit and he let out a sound that can only be described as a haunted goose trying to say "thank you."
Morgana raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. I didn't expect you to last this long."
They kept going like this for the whole night, and with that, the first Milf has been collected.