Song recommendation [Kamin-Jony,Emin]
How's a heart supposed to beat, when it's been broken and stepped on multiple times?
How's a woman supposed to love her body when she longer sees it as her own?
What's love to someone who's never been shown true love before?
When she's left to her own devices, all she has to protect herself is her body and her vengeful heart.
Kavish had long slept off but Nesrin was still wide awake, his body was surprisingly warm, he was close enough for her to feel his heartbeat.
At first, she thought he would pounce on her any chance he got, but he showed more self control than any other Alpha she had met.
Why??
Why? Couldn't he just use her and dump her, so when she was ready to leave..she would do so without guilt?
Why was he showing her kindness when she was at the darkest point of her life?
She didn't want him to know how she craved love and kindness, she had told herself she didn't need it, nothing good came out of it.
But now. Now that, it's just the two of them.
She found herself craving more of his warmth, she guessed that made her remember she was still just a woman.
She also wanted to be loved.
Clenching her fists, her resolve steeled.
But now was not the time. After she had gotten her revenge on the bastards that hurt her, then and only then could she really be free to love.
She shifted slightly, careful not to wake him. Kavish's hand, still wrapped around her waist, tightened reflexively as if he could sense her unease even in sleep.
She stared at the ceiling, her thoughts crawling like vines, twisting around her throat. What would happen if she allowed herself to fall? What would happen if she let him in?
No.
She wouldn't make that mistake again.
Affection makes you soft. Love makes you weak.
And weakness had nearly destroyed her.
Her body remembered the pain of betrayal, of cold hands pushing her away, of silent nights filled with sobs she never let escape past her lips.
Of her sister's lies. Of her mate's disgust. Of her father's cold eyes as he threw her out like she was nothing more than a failed investment.
She closed her eyes, but the memories stayed wide awake.
This was why she had to be sharp, calculated and most of all, unforgiving.
Kavish might seem different, might act like a man with a conscience but Nesrin knew better than to believe in fairy tales.
Even monsters could wear soft smiles and hold you gently.
Her hand slowly reached for his chest, fingers playing across the steady rise and fall. It was reckless, letting herself feel even this much.
But she'd allow herself this one moment.
Just this one.
Tomorrow, she'll wear her armor again.
Tomorrow, she'd remember her place.
She was not a woman in love.
She was a woman on a mission.
And if Kavish wanted to hand her the blade to cut down her enemies, she'd take it with both hands and kiss him with blood on her lips.
No matter how warm his embrace felt tonight.
The next morning, Nesrin was already out of bed and dressed, she was combing her hair when she heard Kavish behind her.
"Did you sleep well? You were dressed very thinly yesterday, I'll ask Mira to make something warm for breakfast."
She dropped the comb and turned to face him.
"Good morning Sir, I slept well...thank you and you don't have to worry, I won't catch a cold."
Sir??
"Call me Kavish and sorry for barging into her space, I couldn't help myself."
Nesrin shook her head, she wanted that to happen after all.
"I didn't mind."
She stood up and walked up to him, wrapping her hands around him waist. She had used the scented oil so she smelled like vanilla.
"I liked the company."
"..."
Kavish felt his heart race, her words really had no filter huh.
He knew the tactics of a woman who was trying to seduce him, he had seen it all but for some reason he couldn't resist Nesrin.
For now he would just play along and see what she wanted.
"Can I ask for a favor?"
Kavish wasn't surprised, he was it coming she probably wanted to use him to get some kind of revenge.
"My pack, I wanted to know if my father and sister are doing alright."
Kavish thought back, the Draeven pack. They also had a high standing in pack ranks but when compared to the Trevance, they were miles apart.
"Alright. I'll see what I can do. Since you're already dressed, why dont you go down for breakfast, I'll join you after I take a bath myself."
Nesrin nodded and unhook him, she gave him a smile and left the room.
Kavish ran his hands through his hair, even without Nesrin asking he was still going to do his research on the Draevens, they've been acting awfully suspicious lately.
He needed to find out why.
Walking out of the door, he headed to his room which was at the East wing of the house.
He met Galen at the stairs, holding an alarming amount of files.
Kavish lips twitched, he guessed his itenary for the day was already filled.
"Good morning Sir. You sadly have a bunch of work load today."
Kavish nodded, this was a regular occurrence, Galen appearing early in the morning just to ruin his day with a bunch of workload.
"Alright, we can discuss it on the way to the office. We might leave more men behind...since Nesrin here."
Galen nodded as he shifted the files to a different hands.
"Yes sir. How many do you want here?"
Kavish made the calculations for a second. "5, then call Kamil, he'll be her personal bodyguard."
Galen eyes widened, Kamil wasn't just any werewolf, he was a top member of the hounds. Was Kavish really ready to give his top fighter to Nesrin.
"Are you sure sir? Kamil is...you know, well...he's a simp." Galen gave Kavish a lopsided grin, he probably shouldn't let him protect Nesrin.
"Yes I know. That's why I choose this particular simp."