Parting with the ladies who loved my heart was as swift as meeting them. They were already delayed because of us, so we couldn't wait any longer - and the next day Irbis and I saw them off to the ship. Mum's personal ship. A Peacekeeper cruiser. Six-person ship, two of them crew members. No, it could carry more than that at a time, but thanks to the special controls, the ship could be handled alone.
It's funny, my mum's out there on her own ship with Wes, and me and this pacifist on passenger and cargo ships. Not that I'm envious or resentful, personally I don't care, it's the fact that matters! But nothing, nothing, when the time comes, I will definitely get such a thing. Although I can understand, Irbis has just become a master, and he doesn't want to fly on an interplanetary fighter, it's not that comfortable.
By the way, why is this Nogri so happy, I can't understand? Standing there, smiling, sighing.
«Irbis? - I elbow him.
«А?
«I don't get it, why are you sighing?
«No reason... About my own, about eternal things.
«Huh? - I squint suspiciously.
«Yes, yes. No, but what a woman, Shade. What a woman! Eh.
«Eh... I didn't get that specifically right now!
«Relax. She likes humans or miralukes.
«Anyway, you're off the hook.
«Mm-hmm.
«Right away?
«Mm-hmm.
«But at least you got away in one piece. Be proud. Not everyone can say that. Trust me, I know.
«Mm-hmm.
«What was it like?
«Threats and a blade in his mouth. And interrogation. How beautiful she was... That blazing aura, that oozing and crushing Power, and the eyes... No, what a Woman!
«Irbis, come back to me! - I'm tugging on his shoulder. - Master!
«Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. By the way, do you know where your mother is from?
«Nope. I never asked. Why, do you know?
«Yes.
«Where from? Tyton? - I chuckle.
«No, Chickagoo.
«Ow... Erm... Pfft! No, that makes sense.
«М?
«I see where the attitude comes from. Hadiya suffers from the same thing, only more so. She grabs a knife and waves it around like a stick.
«Yeah. Did you know your mum's homeless?
«No, she doesn't like to talk about her past. Okay, stop. Wait... - I looked at the hermetic door, behind which the ship disappeared. - The derelicts on Chikaga, isn't that the bottom?
Irbis made a 'that's what I'm talking about' grimace on his face.
«Yeah. Shall we go?
«Let's go.
It was that little island of peace and happiness in the kaleidoscope of events. Fly there to sort things out, fly here to sort things out... Mum's job was more fun - to catch fugitive gifted, dangerous to society. Which, by the way, suited me personally. The pay was good, the work was not dusty, there was someone to beat up... Isn't it nice?
Dreams, dreams, dreams. I'm still growing and growing up to them, and in the meantime we'll study, study, and... Stop.
Irbis, I just had the most marvellous idea! Wait, where are you going?! I mean, you don't like my face? It's a great idea, and I assure you, you'll love it. Don't look at me like that. What am I, a maniac to look at me like that? Okay, whatever. Anyway, listen, I've noticed that I've been a little relaxed... Go to Saarl, smartass, I mean in terms of combat. So, how about we spar? No, I mean, you don't want to? I've got to keep in shape and remember the old days. I haven't punched anyone's face in two takedas because of you, you fucking pacifist! No, that doesn't mean you have to punch him, but I'm definitely sympathetic to your point. I just want to keep in shape. I promise I won't hurt you. Come on, don't look at me like that, look at you! You're always going from one arsehole to another, you've got to stand up for yourself. I've got a lot of interesting things to show you, eh? Training for me, teaching for you.
Irbis gave up, and I mentally shouted "Gotcha". For now, if we had the chance, we sparred, including on the ships. To do this, we simply unloaded the cargo in the hold to make room, and then, in fact, the fight went on.
Ooh-ooh-ooh, that feels good. I used to roll Irbis around on the floor just like that. In spite of our age difference, he was not a fighter like me, so every fight ended with his face touching the floor. As promised, I didn't hit him hard, but that was enough for him. And yes, this is all purely training! Yes. I do not take pleasure in righteous vengeance against this torturer, I do not take pleasure in righteous vengeance, I do not get... No, Irbis, that's me talking to myself. No, there's nothing wrong with my head. Shall we get on with the lesson? Hey! Where, where are you crawling off to, we've only just started!
Vessira
Staring out the porthole, sprawled on the bed right next to it, with a silly smile on my lips, I imagined how soon the training would be over and we'd be wanderers. There was no guessing what would happen after that; the final stage and the pilgrimage to the temples of Je'Daya would begin. Probably the most dangerous stage in their lives, which divides it into before and after. For not everyone will complete their Great Journey. Some will fall victim to the many dangers of Tython's natural phenomena and animal life. Others will lose themselves. And there are those who will simply break down and choose to leave Tython behind, scattering throughout the system. But as Je'Dayi, we must accept this. Master from Padawan Kesh - Dila Jan Morolla has always said that there are no absolutes in reality. And life is a challenge, and only by meeting danger face to face can true greatness be achieved.
Except, that thought inspired me as much as it stopped me. Greatness. What is that? Recognition by others? Achievement? Or maybe both? But... why? Why do I need it? I don't want to be great. I don't need it. I don't need it now. I realise that.
But it used to be different. I used to want to achieve both the recognition of others and to rise to the top in the knowledge of the Force. And while I agree with the latter now, even if for different reasons, the former... Looking at Shade, and now his mother, I'm not sure if I need recognition from someone you don't really care about.
Shuhr! - The door opened and Master Aala entered. Steamed, in a towel, and with a happy smile on her face.
Master Aala... At first I was embarrassed by my teacher and her mannerisms, for she never even seemed to have heard of shame. Going into the cabin and calmly changing clothes, talking about frank topics, making jokes that made me blush like a boiled crab for the first few days. She also likes to smile and is generally in good spirits. Even when we have problems, really big problems, she keeps smiling and having fun. That's what she's all about. We're about to get eaten, and she doesn't even think about getting serious. Shade has a similar trait, by the way. Not the same, but close. Like when we got swept into the desert in first year and had to make a run for it from the Flintstones. We're out here surviving and this one's laughing. Another glance at Aala's ribboned breasts in the reflection of the porthole, and I realise that she and my son are of the same species.
On the other hand, it's a good thing. Aala never gets discouraged... Or pretends not to, no matter how bad things get for her. The only time I'd ever seen a gloomy shadow on her face was when I asked about Shade's father. The subject never came up again, and I stayed out of it. Another quick glance at the brooding wizard, who was contemplating, with a look of universal anguish, whether to wear a red shirt or a green one.
But she was not only strong, properly intelligent, but also very charming. What Aala could not take away from her was her figure and beauty. Wherever we went, someone would hit on her. And it didn't matter, it could be an ordinary person or some honourable person from the top of the planet. And they all failed. What I saw here was a dramatic change in Aala. She could send you on an erotic journey with a single glance, still smiling sweetly. Others, the ones who didn't understand, she would send with a kick in the arse. There were still others, who even after that did not stop and threatened with punishment, but the last one flew out the window from the third floor. Aala didn't like to be ceremonious, she acted immediately. I remember she had roasted the guards of an enterprising drug dealer just for fun. Mercy, the value of life, mercy. What are you talking about?
And when we were in Chicago, I could see for myself how she was shunned by all the criminals. Seriously, we're walking down the street, we see a clan patrol ahead, and as soon as they see us, they try to get away. Later I learnt that the master grew up in Chikaga, so she had a special reputation and sharpened teeth on the locals... But I clearly learnt that a nice smile, a kind word, and a lightning bolt of Force can achieve a lot of things.
And what's interesting is that Aala basically has it all. Power, respect, influence... She's a significant member of the Order, moreover, she even gave up her position as Master of the Stav Kesh Temple, she's one of the best fighters and, in fact, she's achieved the very Greatness I once wondered about. She's feared on Chikaga, recognised on Kalimar, her very name can sway a decision in a dispute. But the funny thing is, I don't see that greatness in her. I mean, the behaviour. I mean, how does it work? The higher you climb, the higher you turn up your nose. It's just a fact that I've been able to observe repeatedly. Everyone has it, whether you're a forerunner or not, it's just that some have it more and some less, that's all.
But Aala... She didn't care. She just didn't care. Achievements, recognition, awards, the Order, even the Force itself, she didn't care about any of it enough to sacrifice it at any time. We didn't talk about it, but I just knew it.
«Wes, why don't you tell me what's eating you?
«Huh?" I turn round, glancing at the master. She was just buttoning up her protection over her tank top. Aala always wore light armour, and I was used to it, like everyday clothes.
«You've been staring out the window for an hour, glancing at me every now and then. Not even a non-gifted person would know you've got something on your mind. So you don't have to hide your emotions, it's written all over your face," I winked.
«"Well... 'eating' isn't quite the right word," I turned back and put my hands under my chin, staring at the space. - Just... Thinking.
«Thinking about what?
«Master, have you never aspired to Greatness?
«What do you mean? - she sat down on the edge of my bed, and I rolled over to her completely.
«Well, literally. The most recognised Je'Dayi, the one who has made significant strides in the knowledge of the Force. Didn't you want to climb to the top?
«Mm-mm, no," she shrugged, looking around in surprise. - Not at all. Why should I?
«Well, it's... It's... Greatness! - I tried to find the words, but I couldn't.
«And? - It's like I wasn't heard.
«Greatness! - like a child trying to make a ridiculous point to an adult by standing up on the bed. - Everyone respects you, recognises you, and your words are listened to. The Force itself walks hand in hand with you.
«Why do I need it?
That's the last thing I need. How could anyone give up something like that?! Something that's impossible to give up!
«That's exactly what I don't understand! You're one step away from it. You have the strength and knowledge to go higher. Why don't you go further? - I'm trying to get my point across by choosing words and gesticulating vigorously.
«What's the point, Vessira? Why should I go further when I don't want to? - She sighed, looking at me with the look of an adult who admires children's stupidity.
«How so?
«I used to go ahead no matter what," Aala nodded, making herself comfortable on my bed. - I studied hard, I learnt the Force, I built up authority, I truly believed that if I reached, as you said, 'greatness', I would be happy. After all, I'd show everyone what I was worth. What's more, to realise that you had such power in your hands... The very thought was exhilarating. But then..." She sighed and looked away. - The higher I climbed, the more I realised the pointlessness of this path.
«But why?
«Because it didn't make me happy.
«What did?
«Not what, but who," Aala corrected me and smiled sadly. - One day, quite by chance, I met a traveller. He was a miraluka. We were stranded by chance at the time. The ship had crashed, most survived, but many were injured. We waited for help, and while we waited, I, he and a couple of other sentients were the only fighters and the only hope for the survivors not to end up in the stomach of some creature. Well, that Miraluka did what no other man could, he impressed me. Impressed as a man," Aala paused and smiled wider and freer, "No, I've had partners of course, but let's just say I didn't care much for serious relationships.
«Oh...
«And he managed to win my heart. And you have no idea how.
«How?
«At first, I thought he was hitting on me, so I blew him off every time. Sometimes drastically. But this masochist did not stop, and eventually I did not notice how we are already sitting together by the fire and chatting about the order, about the stars, about childhood. Until that moment, I had never spoken out to anyone. Not even to my best friend. But I told him. I felt bad at the time, because I was stressed out, because I'd lost my balance in the Force, and because I had a lot on my mind. And he listened to me, helped me get back to balance, and in general - we had enough common interests to make such meetings a regular occurrence. Well, when we were evacuated, we continued to communicate and generally went as a couple. That's when I was happy, Wes. Happier than I've ever been. And that happiness was given to me by the man I loved, not by the Force with achievements, or even a medal," I sighed briefly. - So before you set yourself a goal, think, do you need it so much?
«What happened to him?
«There..." she gloomed. - It's complicated. His expulsion from the Order, a series of conflicts that followed, me almost making a mess of things myself by threatening one of the Temple masters... - Aala clenched her fists and hid her eyes from me. - You see, Saros had different views on the Force and the Order, they weren't good or bad, they were just different, but the Order had enough of that. And that's what brought him down. He valued the Order, and he wanted to prove a point. He'd found something on Tython, said it could make the Order come to its senses. Prove them wrong. You could say it became his fix-it idea, to prove his truth, to defend it, to make it believed, not with words, but with proof. And he left the Tython system with some like-minded people on a sleeping ship. I heard of glory... Greatness, Ves, the likes of which I could never have dreamed of. He knew all about my childhood dreams," I leaned over and saw a tear trickle down Master's cheek. - But he didn't realise that everything I'd dreamed of, I already had. So I'm sorry, but the words about Greatness, about power, about recognition... They make some very unkind... comments to me. Not for your sweet ears. And I'm not going to tell you what I've been spinning all this on, either," the last words were spoken with a touch of anger.
«And Shade, he..." I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat. - Does he know?
«He knows, but not everything. He's a lot like his father. He, too, has slightly different views from the Order. Alas, they're too different from what the Order thinks is right, so he may suffer the same fate. The Council is very conservative in its views, only two can be loyal to something like this. He doesn't say anything special though, the same comprehension of power, it's just that instead of going from one thing to another, he tries to cover everything at once. I wouldn't say it's easy for him, in fact he doesn't realise how thin the ice he's walking on is, but... I believe he'll get through it.
«Hmm.
«One thing I'm glad about is Shade's backbone. He's got that in me, and he's not going to prove anything to anyone, just shrug his shoulders and move on. But that's the problem, he might follow his dad just because he's interested. Because he won't see anything here to hold him back. And I sincerely hope that if that moment comes, that if he does want to leave our system, you won't make my mistake, Wes.
«But will he listen to me?
«He would listen to you. And so will I. But I won't always be able to be there for him. Not always. So I'm gonna have to rely on you.
«I promise. I promise I won't let him go.
«Thank you. In case you didn't know, it's a lot easier to learn the Force with a partner than it is to learn it on your own. Saros and I spent a whole year together like that. It's a technique called mind melding. It's when two streams of power from different beings come together. There are so many interesting, very curious and surprisingly pleasant things to discover, I guarantee you'll find plenty to do.
«You know, Master... Knowing you, I somehow think that you are hinting at something very vulgar," I shoot her a squint.
«Hmm... Everyone thinks to the extent of his promiscuity," she shrugged, but the expression on her face gave her up. - I was talking about learning the Force. And what you're thinking about... It's good, of course, but it's a little different.
«Ma-aa-aster, why are you mocking me?!
«Me? Making fun of you?! How could you think that? And anyway, since it's such a topic, let me tell you about one more technique.
«What's that? - I raise my eyebrow to hide my interest.
«Mm-hmm... This technique was created for medical purposes, to dull the sensitivity of nerve endings. Others have turned it into a torture technique, the opposite, cranking the sensitivity to the max. However, what I want to tell you about, it kind of intensifies some things and dulls some things, on the contrary, so you can get more impressions from caresses, get hotter and in general, do you know how useful it is?
«I'm afraid to ask how you know that," I mumble, blushing.
«Well... Everyone has their little secrets," Aala winked, flicking me on the nose. What kind of habit do they have?!
Shade
«Boom!" my fist collapsed on the table and another drawing went into the trash. Yeah... Making up stuff you don't know, but making it work, it's really hard. It's really fucking hard! How do all the other trapped people do it?! I don't get it. It's a nightmare to even build a theory. I can't even do a theory, I can't even draw a proper drawing. And the problem is not even that I can't draw, but that I have no idea what exactly should be depicted.
Remembering that Irbis had told me about a vision in which I was with a flaming sword, I decided to try to sketch at least theoretical schematics of possible weapons in my free time. I tried. I tried my best, almost meditating over these poor sheets of paper and pencil, but the matter didn't even move.
I mean, what do I know? I know that laser swords are coming next. Battery-powered laser swords, so purely technical weapons. I also know that there are Power Swords in this world. This thing works on the Force, I think in the original, on its dark energy, which is not surprising, light doesn't lie to destruction, and the beam released by the weapon is very, very destructive. But that's how it comes out? How is it focused? It's all been hidden.
No, I'm going to the temple of science, that's a fact. And hopefully I'll be able to understand something there. But I had to come there with some knowledge, so that the masters wouldn't ridicule you and twist their fingers at you.
That's why I tried to put my idea on paper somehow. Crooked drawings of sword hilts, plus some kind of red lettering inside - that's all I could do. I had no idea where the crystal was supposed to go.
«What are you suffering over? - Irbis came up from behind, crunching on a Sweet Joy. The bugs, first Wes, now him... Everyone is eating me, whimper, whimper.
«I remembered what you said about a vision in which I had a special weapon. I've been thinking and thinking, so I'm trying to put it down on paper.
«What kind of thoughts? - The Master was immediately interested, sitting down beside the table. - May I?
«Of course, - I waved away, and he took one of the best drawings. It took me an hour to draw it under the ruler.
«Hmm... And how do you think it should work?
«You see, Irbis, - I reached into my pocket and pulled out the same white kyber-crystal that I carry with me all the time and charge it with the Force. In the meantime, the stone had undergone some transformation. It became cleaner, and also, if I held it in my hand, it warmed it. I didn't understand how it worked or why, I can only shrug my shoulders and say, "With the Force". - I'll start with this pebble. Tell me, what do you think of it? - I'm squinting at the teacher. By the way, it's funny, but if you carry this crystal with you for a long time, it becomes soaked with your energy, and you can feel it as a small part of yourself. It'll also start to respond.
«Well, it's a good focuser of energy. Used in laser weapons. It's also used in special generators to power machines at the interface between the Force and technology. It's how the flying cities on Ska-Gore work, it's how some ships work. Why?
«That's it?
«Well, yes.
«Oh, Master. You underestimate the power of this stone," I snicker. - You can feel it in the Force.
«И?
«And it echoes in the Force.
«I know it does.
«Well, you're not thinking straight, Irbis," I shake my head. - According to my idea, if this pebble is placed in this sword hilt and powered by the Force, a continuous but short beam of energy should come out from here," I tapped the drawing with the tip of my pencil. Like a sword.
«Hmm...
«But how to implement or realise it, I have no idea.
«Most likely, you'll have to upset the balance within you to do so. The Light Side does not favour destruction," he shook his head.
«Yes, but this sword needs constant feeding to work. I'm sorry, but I don't want to keep stressing myself out. That's why I'm thinking about neutral energy.
«It doesn't exist," he shook his head. - There's light and darkness.
«And then there's you," I snickered. - In which both of them coexist perfectly! Unless you choose one side or the other. Remember when I told you my point of view?
«About the filter and the One Power? - I nod. - I remember. And, in principle, I understand what you want to formalise. But, returning to the question: "how"?!
«I don't know how," I sigh.
«No... Well, it's very similar to what I've seen, - thoughtfully rubbing his chin, Irbis examined the weapon anew. Then his gaze shifted to me and became even more thoughtful. - Given your theory, I'm beginning to doubt the Order and its views, Shade.....
«М?
«If there is a third... substance that combines the first two, it... gives one pause for thought.
«Irbis, you are that third, as you put it, "substance". You already contain both. You just need to redirect it.
«And still. We're learning to divide the Force into black and white sides. You, on the other hand, are trying to use it all at once," he asked quietly, putting the drawing aside and tapping his lips thoughtfully with his claw: - and it won't tear?- It shouldn't," I shook my head.
«That's reassuring.
«And even if it does, it'll just prove that I was wrong and shouldn't have done it.
«Shade!
«What? Just think what it'll do for us if I'm right!
«Be careful with your experiments. I have to get you back to Aale, and if you don't want to live, I do.
«Don't worry. I've been living with that thought all my life and so far I'm doing fine and I haven't even lost my roof.
«Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that last one.
«Hey! What are you implying?
«Oh, nothing.
«Actually, my theory doesn't contradict Je'Daiya's code, it neatly fits on top. "Power is not light or darkness, it's a balance between extremes!" So I don't know anything, and actually, if you think about it that way, I'm following the code.
«Just don't say anything like that in the temple.
«Which one?
«Any of them, Shade. Any of them.
«Temple Master Cicuna knows about my theories, plans and ideas. I've spoken to her about it myself!
At that, Irbis seemed to feel a little sick. But he relaxed and whispered quietly:
«Well, the Force itself protects you, I have no other explanation for your vitality.
«Heh.
In the end, I didn't come up with a sword, leaving it for later. But at least I drew a nice drawing, yeah. With the help of Irbis. Nogri, with my comments, was able to create my little charm for me, which I will try to realise! It's not that I have some sort of light saber craze, it's more like the soul of a trapped person speaks to me at the sight of a cool gizmo. Well, while I'm at it, I can get back to my main activity - trolling and bashing... I mean, bantering Irbis. But carefully. Because I've already learnt that he's a vindictive comrade and can pay back his debt in a big way.
---
patreon.com/posts/started-in-star-129917731