I'm a "gifted child" they said.
When I was at my highest point, I was always the top of my class.
Countless medals have hanged around my neck. Countless praises always came out of my relatives mouths. Countless awards have been given to me.
But that child is long gone. The spark I knew wasn't there anymore. My life is nothing but a deep void. A deep dark void. Where I can't find someone to reach for help, where I myself is lost. I want to get out. I wanna end this suffering.
My parents keeps fighting everyday. I transfered into a new school and all the kids do is judge with their eyes and mouths. I'm barely passing my subjects. I couldn't attend my trainings anymore.
I have hit rock bottom, I'm disappointed of what I have become. It hurts. It hurts and all I can do is listen to music and cry my heart out and distract myself from reality...
Another damn day, when is this gonna end? I woke up, tears still falling down my eyes.
I got up, got ready, and headed downstairs.
The house was quiet.
Mom is in the kitchen and dad is in the living room. It seems they have fought again. My mom's eyes was still red while she prepares my breakfast. Dad is clearly trying to calm down.
I somehow understand why they're acting like this. It's natural for people to feel suspicious and starts throwing questions at their partners...and their already stressed partners anger will only fuel up because of that.
I just wish they could understand each other more and wouldn't fight so loud. It hurts when I hear them.
I have no energy to talk and it looks like they have no intention of starting a conversation either so I'll just take a walk. I can't bare the tension in here.
As I was about to open the door, my mom suddenly called me. "Darling, your coach told me that you're not attending your training these past few days anymore. Care to explain why?" Her voice is still hoarse, probably because of all the yelling.
I stopped. "I'm not feeling good and I just don't have any energy. I hope you understand..." They should know why I was acting like this. Are they pretending or are they actually just oblivious?
"You should attend them. We're paying for your figure skating lessons so don't waste the money." My dad said.
"Okay." I immediately left the house and finally take that morning walk.
The air is cold. I walked for half an hour and think about my overflowing thoughts. It's too many, I have so many questions that keeps me up all night. I should stop overthinking.
I got home and head upstairs to get changed for school. Got back downstairs to eat and went to school. I hate school and I hate home...if I can even call it a home. I wish there was a place I could escape from school and "home".