I woke up to find a toaster hovering above my bed.
Not just hovering—*threatening.* It had a laser eye and was sizzling with bad intent.
"Stand down, Toaster Unit X-99!" a voice boomed. I peeked out from under my blanket just in time to see our class rep, Ayaka Tachibana, drop from the ceiling and roundhouse kick the toaster out the window. It exploded in a fireball of crumbs and shrapnel.
It was 7:02 a.m. on a Monday.
"Morning, Ichiro!" Ayaka saluted, her eyes glowing faintly red. "Another assassination attempt averted!"
"...What?"
"I'm from the future. You're destined to become Supreme Overlord of Earth, but only if you pass math class. Until then, you're vulnerable."
"I flunked math last semester."
"You *what?*" Her systems beeped ominously. "That changes the entire timeline. BRB, I have to go stop the Great Waffle Uprising of 2083."
She vanished in a puff of smoke and maple syrup.
At school, everyone acted like this was normal.
"Ayaka jumped into the principal's office and defused a quantum bomb with a fidget spinner," my friend Daichi whispered as we watched her staple her own robotic hand back on. "That's like, the third time this week."
"She made the gym teacher cry," added Yuki. "By calculating pi to the final digit."
"There is no final digit."
"Exactly."
I sighed. All I wanted was a peaceful high school life. A few friends. Maybe a girlfriend who wasn't built by NASA. Instead, I was being guarded by a cyborg whose idea of "tutoring" involved neural implants and motivational slap therapy.
And that was before the Alien Cheerleader Exchange Program arrived…