Also known as: Send Help, the Test is Confused
It began at sunrise.
A crack in the sky, shaped like a scroll, opened above Mount Chaos.
A booming voice echoed across the land:
"Wei Long! You have disturbed fate, bent the flow of qi, and inspired goats to achieve enlightenment.You are hereby summoned to undergo a Heavenly Trial of Qualification."
The ground trembled.
The clouds parted.
And from the celestial rift descended…
…a very confused golden turtle holding a test scroll in its mouth.
Wei Long blinked.
"Is that… my invigilator?"
The turtle looked at him, sighed, and dropped the scroll.
The scroll unrolled mid-air.
Heavenly Trial: Phase OneSurvive a simulated battlefield against ten elite opponents from history.
A flash of light.
Suddenly, Wei Long stood in a vast arena surrounded by ghostly warlords, each glowing with aura from eras past.
One raised his halberd.
"I am General Xun, Slayer of Ten Thousand!"
Another swung a whip made of lightning.
"I am Lady Ji of Thunder Valley!"
A third just grunted. "I was very angry in life. Now more so."
Wei Long stood in the middle, holding… a chopstick?
He sighed. "Okay. I'm doomed."
But just as the trial began—
He sneezed.
Loud.
Violent.
The chopstick flew from his hand, spinning wildly through the air… and struck General Xun in the eye.
Xun stumbled backward, hit Lady Ji, who accidentally lashed Lightning Guy, who crashed into Angry Grunter, who punched the ground so hard it collapsed the arena.
One ghost screamed, "THE DAO IS UNSTABLE!"
Another cried, "HE'S CONTROLLING CHANCE ITSELF!"
Wei Long was left floating mid-air on a piece of debris, dazed.
"I think I sneezed us all out of Phase One…"
The celestial turtle blinked.
Its eyes glowed.
Phase One: Passed…Somehow.
Heavenly Trial: Phase TwoSolve the Riddle of the Five Illusions.
Wei Long opened his eyes and found himself in a dreamlike landscape where everything changed every ten seconds.
A mountain became a teacup.A tiger turned into a dancing cabbage.Lin Qian floated by riding a rainbow goat.Wei Long stared at everything for five full minutes, then muttered:
"…I think this is just how my brain works normally."
The illusions, unable to out-illusion someone who never understood reality in the first place, collapsed on themselves.
The voice of the trial stuttered.
"Uh… Phase Two: Cleared…?"
Final Phase: Face Your Inner Demon
Wei Long now stood face-to-face with… himself.
But this Wei Long was cloaked in black, with glowing red eyes and dramatic cape physics.
Dark Wei Long pointed.
"You are unworthy. You have no technique. No purpose. You just stumble through everything."
Regular Wei Long shrugged.
"I know."
Dark Wei Long blinked. "Wait. You're supposed to argue."
"I mean, I literally got a holiday named after napping. You think I don't know?"
"…But… you're a fraud!"
"Obviously. I keep saying that. No one listens."
Dark Wei Long faltered. His sword drooped.
"You're ruining my script."
Wei Long yawned. "It's bedtime."
The illusion shattered.
The scroll burst into golden flames. The sky rang with bells.A message blazed across the heavens:
Heavenly Trial: ConcludedResult: InconclusiveRecommendation: Never try to test this man again.
The golden turtle saluted Wei Long, then jumped into a passing cloud and vanished.
Wei Long sat down on a rock and muttered,
"…Did I just fail so hard I passed?"
Lin Qian brought him tea.
"No, Master. You passed so wrong… it looped back around to being right."
And far, far above, the Watcher growled.
"He is not just an anomaly.He is a contradiction… made flesh."
And the game piece moved again.
This time, it read only:
"Send the Architect."
To be continued...