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Chapter 5 - Chapter 05: What We Carry

The kiss hadn't shattered anything.

But it had stirred everything.

By morning, Arden was already in the garden, barefoot in the dew, slicing lavender from overgrown stalks with an old pair of shears. The dawn was soft, pale gold against her skin. She moved like someone trying to outrun her own thoughts.

Cole stood in the doorway watching her, his mug warm in his hands. He hadn't slept much. Not because of her—but because of what that kiss had awakened.

He hadn't meant to kiss her back. But when her lips touched his, something dormant broke open, something that had waited five long years to breathe again.

"Do you ever stop moving?" he asked gently as he stepped outside.

She didn't turn. "If I stop, I'll think. If I think, I'll feel. And we both know how that ends."

He stepped beside her, careful not to touch. "It doesn't have to end like last time."

She looked up then, eyes shadowed but alert. "You think we can rewrite that night just by kissing away the ache?"

"No," he said. "But I think we can stop letting it write the rest of our story."

She stared at him. "And what if I don't want a story with you?"

"Then I walk," he said simply. "But not before asking why you kissed me."

The wind picked up slightly, the scent of crushed lavender rising between them.

Arden looked away. "Because I was tired of holding it in."

"What?"

"Everything. The guilt. The want. You."

Cole's throat tightened. "Say that again."

She hesitated.

Then: "You. I never stopped wanting you, Cole."

Silence stretched between them like glass.

Then she added, almost brokenly, "Even when I hated you most, I still looked for your face in every stranger."

He reached out, brushing her cheek with a tenderness that nearly undid her. "You've been carrying too much for too long."

"So have you."

Cole took the shears from her hand and set them aside. "Then maybe we stop carrying it alone."

And in the sun-drenched quiet of that fragile morning, something shifted. Not everything was forgiven. Not everything healed. But the act of choosing—again, and again, despite the weight of the past—was beginning to feel like love.

Later, as they walked into town together for the first time since the trial, the air thickened with glances and whispers. But Arden didn't flinch. And when Cole's hand brushed hers, she didn't pull away.

They were a storm in the clearing. The wound and the salve.

A pair of ghosts learning to breathe again.

They reached the edge of town just as the church bells rang nine.

Arden slowed. Her breath caught in her throat as familiar buildings came into view—the bakery with its green awning, the post office with chipped white paint, the shop windows still decorated like time had never moved on. A part of her had hoped it might look different, easier to bear. But everything was the same.

That was the hardest part.

Cole sensed her hesitation. He offered his hand—not insistently, just openly.

She didn't take it. But she didn't step away either.

"Everyone's going to stare," she muttered.

"They always stare," he replied. "They just never had a reason to see you clearly before."

As if summoned, a door creaked open across the street. Mrs. Larkin, who had once braided Arden's hair before piano recitals, peered out. Her eyes narrowed. Then she stepped back in and shut the door.

Arden flinched.

Cole said nothing. Instead, he led her to the bakery, holding the door open like it was just another morning. The bell above the door chimed, and the scent of cinnamon and yeast filled the air.

Behind the counter stood Tomas, the owner's son, now a man with a faint scar over one eyebrow—the result of a night they all tried not to talk about.

His gaze landed on Arden. Then on Cole. His mouth tightened.

Cole spoke first. "Two coffees. Black."

Tomas didn't answer. He just turned, poured the drinks, and slid them across the counter with a clatter. He didn't meet their eyes.

Arden swallowed and reached for her cup. Her hand shook.

"You can say it," she told Tomas quietly. "Whatever it is you're thinking."

He didn't look at her. "Not my place."

"No," she said. "But it was your sister."

Tomas's jaw flexed. For a moment, Cole thought he'd speak. Thought he might scream, or curse, or demand they leave. But he only said, "You still drink it too hot, Arden."

She blinked. "What?"

"Your coffee. You used to burn your mouth every time."

Something in her cracked. A laugh, maybe. Or a sob. She couldn't tell. "Guess I haven't changed that much."

He looked up at her then. "No. You have. You look heavier. Not older—just heavier."

She nodded. "I am."

He paused, then added, "Grief doesn't disappear. But I've seen worse people carry less with more cruelty. You were never cruel."

Arden didn't answer. Couldn't.

Cole paid for the drinks and guided her out. When they stepped back into the street, the tension of a hundred held breaths pressed around them.

But then—like a miracle, or perhaps the simplest act of humanity—an old man on a bench tipped his hat to Arden.

She smiled.

Only slightly. Only for a second. But it was enough.

They walked home slowly, quiet between them but not distant.

When they reached the cottage, she turned to him. "You didn't have to come into town with me."

"I know."

"Then why did you?"

He looked at her, long and steady. "Because this time, I want to stand beside you when it hurts. Not wait until it's safe."

And for the first time, Arden believed him.

That night, Arden couldn't sleep.

The cottage felt too quiet. Even the wind held its breath.

She stood at the window, staring out at the moonlit trees, cradling her second glass of wine. The soft murmur of the radio played low from the kitchen—old songs from a local station, haunting and familiar. Cole was asleep on the couch, one arm draped over his chest, the other curled under his head.

She didn't know how to name what they were anymore.

Not just grief companions. Not just childhood remnants in adult skin. Not quite lovers.

But something was building between them—a soft, insistent thrum that wouldn't quiet. It pulsed beneath every word they didn't say.

She padded across the creaking floorboards and stood above him. He looked peaceful. Too peaceful for a man who had known so much ruin.

As if he felt her gaze, Cole stirred. His eyes opened—dark, soft, alert.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, voice hoarse from dreams.

"No," she said.

"You want me to go?"

"No."

He shifted upright, making space. "Then sit. Or don't. Just… don't look at me like I might vanish."

She sat beside him. The couch was small, the space smaller. Their knees touched. Neither moved.

She turned toward him, hesitating before asking, "Do you remember the night before the verdict?"

He closed his eyes. "Yes."

"You came to my porch. You didn't say a word."

"I didn't know how."

She nodded. "I remember thinking, if you had just touched me then—even just my hand—I wouldn't have walked away the next day."

Silence.

Then he said, "I reached for you after you closed the door. You just didn't see it."

Arden's breath hitched.

She reached out now—not for comfort, not for pity. Just for him. Her fingers brushed his.

"I see it now," she whispered.

He didn't kiss her.

Not yet.

But the space between them became promise.

And when she finally drifted asleep curled beside him, it was not as someone who had broken, but as someone finally beginning to mend.

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