Morning came with birdsong, a new system notification, and the distinct sound of a tomato moaning in the garden.
Eren buried his face in the pillow.
"I hate this game."
The birds chirped louder.
[System Notification]
[New Quest: Farm Expansion Proposal]
Visit Lady Ciel's office in Tarenfall Town
Objective: Submit proposal for farmland expansion
Reward: Land Deed, +1 Favor (Ciel), Unlock Basic Construction Options
He rolled out of bed, eyes bloodshot and spirit half-dead.
"All I wanted was a peaceful life and passive income from garlic," he muttered, pulling on his shirt. "Instead I'm being dragged into fantasy real estate negotiations."
Lira appeared beside the bed, her humanoid form flickering into visibility with a soft blue shimmer.
"You were never going to get peace. You joined a hentai sim."
"I thought it was a farming simulator. Farming." He grabbed a tomato off the shelf. It giggled.
Lira stared.
He threw it out the window.
The Governor's Office
Tarenfall's administrative building was less of a palace and more of an aggressively large barn with curtains. Still, it had guards, tapestries, and even a giant golden quill at the entrance.
Eren walked in with a modest folder containing a rough farm layout, a list of potential crops, and a very polite letter titled:
"Reasons I Deserve More Dirt."
Lady Ciel sat behind a massive desk like she was born there. Black-gloved hands steepled. Hair perfectly in place. Eyes unreadable.
"You're punctual," she said. "I didn't expect that."
Eren nodded. "I'm full of surprises. Mostly disappointing ones."
Her lips twitched.
"Let's see your proposal."
He handed over the folder. She opened it.
A long pause followed. The room felt like it was holding its breath.
"…You drew a smiley face on your scarecrow layout."
"Motivates the vegetables."
"I see."
She closed the folder. "You're unorthodox. Untrained. Possibly unstable. But your crops sell and the market loves novelty. I'll approve your expansion—but there's a catch."
Eren blinked. "There's always a catch."
Ciel smirked. "Tarenfall is under pressure. One of our rival towns, Greystone Hollow, is trying to undercut our produce markets. They've started... importing magic-enhanced crops."
He frowned. "What, like glowing cucumbers?"
"Worse. Crops with buff effects."
Lira's voice buzzed quietly: "Battle onions. Dangerous."
Eren sat down slowly. "Okay, that's actually kind of badass."
"We need competitive yield. Fast. I want to make you our local supplier for the town. You'll get more land, funds, and licenses—but you'll also be expected to deliver a public harvest next week."
"...A public harvest."
Ciel gave him a smile that promised suffering.
"Think of it as a trial. Win the crowd. Win influence. Lose—and you'll be remembered as the farmer who gave a carrot a panic attack in front of nobles."
Eren sighed.
"Why is my life a marketing campaign now?"
[System Update]
Quest Updated: Tarenfall Growth Initiative
Objective: Prepare showcase harvest
Time Limit: 7 Days
Reward: +Farm Expansion, Unlock: Basic Construction (Barn, Well, Storage), +Favor (Ciel), +Relationship with Local Nobles
Back at the farm, Eren stood in front of his half-dead scarecrow, trying to visualize his "showcase."
"I need something flashy. Something that says, 'I'm not insane, I'm just talented.'"
"Which you aren't," Lira added helpfully.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
He looked around the field. Regular tomatoes weren't going to cut it. Neither were the flirty ones. He needed something new.
And then he saw it.
Buried in his inventory: a forgotten seed packet labeled:
[System Item: Mystery Seed (???)]
[Warning: Unstable genetics. Growth traits unknown.]
Eren held it up like it was radioactive.
"…Perfect."
Montage Mode: Engaged
Cue music. Speed up time. Let the man work.
For the next six days, Eren farmed like a man possessed. He plowed, planted, watered, and even yelled encouraging insults at the soil.
The mystery crop grew fast—too fast. It pulsed with rainbow colors and whispered things at night, but it didn't bite, which was honestly a win.
He also managed to build a proper well, install a compost bin, and bribe a chicken to stop laying heart-shaped eggs.
By Day 6, his farm was no longer just "the place with the perverted produce."
It was something real.
Maybe even impressive.
The Day of the Harvest
Tarenfall's market square was packed.
Nobles, merchants, adventurers—even Lord Hergel the Goat had shown up in a bowtie.
Eren stood behind his stall, table freshly cleaned, mystery crops laid out in neat rows. His heart pounded like he was about to defend a dissertation in front of horny vegetables.
Lady Ciel approached.
"Ready?"
"Emotionally, no. Physically, still no. Spiritually? Definitely not."
She smirked. "Excellent."
She waved a hand and the crowd went quiet.
"Citizens of Tarenfall! Today, a new farmer steps forward—one who represents growth, innovation, and mildly cursed efficiency. Let us witness his harvest."
Eren swallowed.
Then picked up the mystery fruit.
It pulsed. It glowed. It moaned lightly, but not too offensively.
And then it did something beautiful.
It burst open—releasing a fragrant, glittery mist that made everyone nearby gasp and immediately start smiling.
Within seconds, a nearby adventurer's tired expression melted into a joyful grin.
"Is this... emotional buff fruit?" someone whispered.
Ciel raised an eyebrow.
"Name it," she said.
Eren blinked. "Name what?"
"The fruit. For the ledger."
He stared at the sparkling mass in his hands and muttered the first thing that came to mind:
"Uh… Mood Melon."
The crowd lost it.
[System Update]
[Item Unlocked: Mood Melon]
Grants temporary charisma boost, calms anxiety, enhances mood.
[Value: High. Demand: Exploding.]
[Local Nobles: Impressed.]
Ciel clapped once. "Approval granted. Farm expansion authorized."
Eren slumped against his cart, barely breathing.
He'd done it.
He'd won the crowd.
And somehow, he hadn't even stripped.
Back at the Farm
That night, Eren sat under the stars, Lira floating beside him.
"I have land. Reputation. A signature crop," he murmured.
"And no social life."
"Exactly how I like it."
Lira tilted her head. "For now."
He looked over the field.
Wealth was coming.
So were politics.
And probably several more strange women with complicated trauma and perfect bodies.
But tonight?
Tonight was about the win.
And the melon that didn't try to kiss him.
Yet.