No need to sue – I'm just a copyright dude,
Making parody moves in the Disney mood!
Okay here we go sorority Queens and kings sure....
car tel LM ey e s guys this is great pr!
Verse 1
OMG, like, the Gambino girls
Are mixing White Claws with pearls
Yakuza sisters in pink,
Bratva boys can't even think
Sinaloa sisters can't smuggle
A pizza past the house mom's juggle
Triads run a bake sale,
But launder the cookie dough, fail!
Chorus
We're the Alpha Beta Kappas,
Mobsters in mascara,
Cartel queens in Lilly prints,
Throwing shade and throwing hints
Gambino girls "whack" their GPA,
Bratva bros pull hammies every day
Yakuza boys' tattoos?
All temporary, nothing new!
Verse 2
Triad twins on TikTok,
Sinaloa snaps in the hall,
Cosa Nostra at the mixer,
But nobody remembers it all
Medellin's idea of a hit?
Dropping the aux at formal, that's it
Genovese girls run rackets,
But only for tennis brackets!
Roast Verse
Whose bright idea was it,
To stop putting drugs in the drugs?
Now our parties are just LaCroix,
And awkward shrugs and chugs
The only thing thugs really are?
They thug it out through way too many snugs,
Like, literally, they can't detach,
Squeezing tight in a cuddle match!
Pledge week's a trauma marathon,
Mixer disasters every week,
Daddy's money runs the show,
But can't buy cool or mystique
We fake philanthropy for clout,
Pretend to care, then ghost,
And every time we "study,"
It's just gossip and a toast.
So here's to Greek life legends,
With secrets, scandals, shrugs-
But next time, let's remember
To put the drugs in the drugs!
Bridge
The only "cartel" we run
Is group Uber rides for fun
"Making you an offer you can't refuse"-
Just a Venmo request for booze
Our "front" is the lemonade stand,
During philanthropy week, oh so bland
The "underboss" forgot his laundry,
Now he's just feeling all groggy!
Chorus
We're the Alpha Beta Kappas,
Mobsters in mascara,
Cartel queens in Lilly prints,
Throwing shade and throwing hints
Cosa Nostra can't keep a secret,
Unless it's the WiFi, don't leak it!
Medellin's big heist tonight?
Just sneaking snacks in the fridge light!
Outro
From Medellin to Genovese,
We're extra, wild, and loud,
Sorority girls and mafia names,
Forever basic and proud!
hey draw? ause um c ur kids r not e em witj u dumb dumb the othets ahhhh i know the wbore r!!!! H! nn lol
car tel LM ey e s guys this is great pr!
Verse 1
OMG, like, the Gambino girls
Are mixing White Claws with pearls
Yakuza sisters in pink,
Bratva boys can't even think
Sinaloa sisters can't smuggle
A pizza past the house mom's juggle
Triads run a bake sale,
But launder the cookie dough, fail!
Chorus
We're the Alpha Beta Kappas,
Mobsters in mascara,
Cartel queens in Lilly prints,
Throwing shade and throwing hints
Gambino girls "whack" their GPA,
Bratva bros pull hammies every day
Yakuza boys' tattoos?
All temporary, nothing new!
Verse 2
Triad twins on TikTok,
Sinaloa snaps in the hall,
Cosa Nostra at the mixer,
But nobody remembers it all
Medellin's idea of a hit?
Dropping the aux at formal, that's it
Genovese girls run rackets,
But only for tennis brackets!
Roast Verse
Whose bright idea was it,
To stop putting drugs in the drugs?
Now our parties are just LaCroix,
And awkward shrugs and chugs
The only thing thugs really are?
They thug it out through way too many snugs,
Like, literally, they can't detach,
Squeezing tight in a cuddle match!
Pledge week's a trauma marathon,
Mixer disasters every week,
Daddy's money runs the show,
But can't buy cool or mystique
We fake philanthropy for clout,
Pretend to care, then ghost,
And every time we "study,"
It's just gossip and a toast.
So here's to Greek life legends,
With secrets, scandals, shrugs-
But next time, let's remember
To put the drugs in the drugs!
Bridge
The only "cartel" we run
Is group Uber rides for fun
"Making you an offer you can't refuse"-
Just a Venmo request for booze
Our "front" is the lemonade stand,
During philanthropy week, oh so bland
The "underboss" forgot his laundry,
Now he's just feeling all groggy!
Chorus
We're the Alpha Beta Kappas,
Mobsters in mascara,
Cartel queens in Lilly prints,
Throwing shade and throwing hints
Cosa Nostra can't keep a secret,
Unless it's the WiFi, don't leak it!
Medellin's big heist tonight?
Just sneaking snacks in the fridge light!
Outro
From Medellin to Genovese,
We're extra, wild, and loud,
Sorority girls and mafia names,
Forever basic and proud!
You can always tell when a man's being a b**** and it's that time of the month-
he suddenly thinks he's you, but let's be real:
he can't be a b**** and a dick at the same time without actually having one.
Men get all moody, act like they invented attitude,
and then wonder why nobody's giving them a medal for multitasking.
Sorry fellas, just because you can't bleed for a week and survive
doesn't mean you get to act like you invented drama.
Their PMS stands for "Privileged Man Syndrome"-
and the only cramps they get are when their team loses
or the WiFi goes down.
So next time he's stomping around acting like the world's ending,
just hand him a chocolate bar, tell him to take a nap,
and remind him: you can't out-b**** the original,
and you definitely can't be both a b**** and a dick
without the proper equipment-
that's a vagina, not a p****-toed wannabe!
So the next time Elon Musk claims to be a man,
remind my mom it's not really her in there-
it's just her third eye watching him,
because he couldn't get to her this time.
She's got more eyes on him than a spider in a surveillance van!
And if she could just get back to her brain
and remember she can't actually leave her own butthole,
that would be amazing-because honestly,
I'd like to like her eventually!
Welcome to the White House, where the only thing more divided
than Congress is Monica Lewinsky's thighs-talk about bipartisan separation!
The only thing Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have
in common? They both say: "Insert Bill here."
Monica started on her knees-and look where that got her.
Guess sometimes you gotta stand up to change the game!
Speaking of Bill Clinton, he was the only president to
get "in the black"-which sounds great, right? Except here's the twist:
the red is the black, the black is the red,
and it all depends if your starting point matches the rest!
So basically, he's the only one who didn't do his job... ironically.
The White House: where politics, scandals, and punchlines come together
like a late-night comedy special that nobody asked for!Everyone says Elon Musk is a genius-rockets, cars, social media-
but when it comes to privacy rights, he thinks he has the right
to everyone's privates. Maybe that's why he bought Twitter-
he thought "X" marked the spot!
He can silence people's right to speak, but when it comes
to getting things to actually work, well-let's just say
his rockets aren't the only things that have trouble launching!
And let's be honest: when your ex-wife's an actress,
has zero social media, and is a complete ghost online,
it's probably because Elon's making sure she can't be heard-
not just seen.
It's ironic Elon Musk and Trump are such buddies-Trump acts
like he's got a little boy crush on Elon just because he plays with rockets.
But the only thing actually benefiting from their friendship
is good TV-two egos, one reality show, and a lot of airtime.
Trump's not Orphan Annie, but with those Daddy Issues,
he's got more in common with Daddy Warbucks than he thinks.
Maybe if Warbucks and Trump stopped stroking their egos,
checked their brain cells, and quit whispering to their billionaire buddies,
they'd finally see the CIA's got their ear-
and maybe, just maybe, get over their crap and check the video feed
before another pie hits their face.
Elon and Trump: proof you can reach for the stars,
miss the point, and still end up on primetime!Leave it to my ex-husband-the one who looks like a
combo of Beavis and Butt-Head turned human-to kick
me out of my kids' lives just because I divorced him.
Now he's married to her, but she's mad at me, not him,
for a divorce he can't stop whining about! Honestly, if
anything, she should be mad at him for holding a grudge
longer than our marriage lasted. At this point, the only
thing they're committed to is blaming me for their own
drama-and with his Beavis-Butt-Head energy, it's no
wonder the plot's stuck on reruns. He's basically living
in Cornholio mode, running around clueless, yelling for
TP for his bunghole, and never making any sense!
Ariel:
Look at my stash, isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my cartel's elite?
Wouldn't you think I'm the queen,
The queen with the sneakiest scheme?
Fake Louis bags, White Claws on ice,
Who cares if my product's been stepped on twice?
You want real drugs? Sorry, just spice!
We're not princesses in castles high,
But we're not broke or just sitting high;
Our stash is all label, no thrill-
It's a hustle, a scam, but I'm chasing it still!
Ursula:
Oh, darling Ariel, you wanna be tough?
Let Auntie Ursula show you how to get rough.
First, in this game, you sell each other for cash,
Then whine and complain when your man checks my ass!
You think you're a queen, but you're playing pretend-
Real power means making deals that never end.
If a CIA hitman shows up for a hit,
Just laugh and say, "Honey, you ain't slick!"
In this world, you gotta own your game,
Don't just swim with the current-set it aflame.
Ariel:
But what about King Triton-King Try Again?
Always pinning the blame, driving me insane.
He wrecked my grotto, called me naïve,
But turns out this "witch" is nicer than he'd believe!
Ursula:
Triton talks big, but he's scared of the tide-
Pins and blames, but he's got things to hide.
He's the king of "try again," but never gets through,
And guess what, darling?
This "bitch" is nicer than you!
Ariel & Ursula (together):
We're not princesses in castles high,
But we're not broke or just sitting high;
We run our world with a wink and a grin,
And in this cartel sea, it's the fiercest who win!
Ursula:
Now, Ariel, let's show that king who's boss-
Make him sing or pay the cost!
Ariel:
Yeah! King Try Again, it's your time to shine,
Sing us a song or step in line!
(They laugh and snap their fingers as the music swells.)
Ursula (tag):
So if Disney's listening, don't get mad or rude-
Here's the headquarters link, I'm just a copyright dude!
Headquarters:
The Walt Disney Company
500 South Buena Vista Street
Burbank, CA 91521-0001
Phone: (818) 560-1000
[thewaltdisneycompany.com/contact-us/]: https://thewaltdisneycompany.com/contact-us/
The Lion King Parodies
1. "I Just Can't Wait to Be Kingpin"
(Parody of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" from The Lion King)
I'm gonna be a mighty boss,
So enemies beware!
But every time the badges flash,
We're halfway out the lair!
I'm brushing up on hustling,
I'm working on my rep—
But when the sirens start to wail,
We're tripping over each other to step!
No one saying, "Stand your ground!"
When the cops are rolling through—
No one daring, "Hold your turf!"
We're all like, "Yes, sir, right away, thank you!"
It's our cartel coronation,
But here's the funniest thing:
We talk a big, bad game—
But we bend over for every badge and bling!
Oh, I just can't wait to be Kingpin!
(But only if the coast is clear and there's not a badge in sight…)
2. "Cycle of Abuse"
(Parody of "Circle of Life" from The Lion King)
From the moment we're hurt
And the pain goes unspoken,
We learn how to hide
Every scar, every token.
It's the fear, it's the shame,
It's the silence that binds us—
And the wounds that remain
Are the chains that confine us.
It's the cycle of abuse,
And it spins through the ages,
From the words and the blows
To the anger that rages.
Till we break, till we heal,
Till we find a solution—
We're all caught in the wheel
Of this sad revolution.
It's the cycle,
The cycle of abuse.
3. "Be Prepared (Parody)"
(Parody of "Be Prepared" from The Lion King)
It's time you face the music for what you've done,
I've got it all recorded—your lies on the run.
I've already won, though I've lost faith in you,
Every goddamn buddy who never came through.
But don't expect me to turn into your beast,
I'm ready to fight, but I won't be unleashed.
I'm standing my ground with truth in my hand,
So be prepared—for justice to land.
No more silence, no more fear,
The reckoning's coming, and it's crystal clear.
You thought you'd break me, but I'm still here—
Be prepared, abusers, your end is near.
4. "Haiku from ma TA (Cartels Only Fight Over Bore-ri-tos!)"
(Parody of "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King)
Haiku from ma TA,
I'm gonna school you—
On why cartels only fight over bore-ri-tos!
It's not about drama,
Or flashy bravado,
It's all about turf,
That's the only motto!
You think it's for glory,
Or riches untold,
But it's just about borders—
That's how the story's sold.
So here's my haiku,
From your teaching assistant:
Cartels crave turf wars,
Borders are the only cause—
Bore-ri-tos, persistent!
Haiku from ma TA,
Lesson's done, now you know—
Why cartels only fight
Over bore-ri-tos!
5. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (I Sure the Heck Hope Not)"
(Parody of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" from The Lion King)
Can you feel the love tonight?
I sure the heck hope not,
'Cause all I see is jealousy,
And drama that you've brought.
Your men keep staring at my house,
But girl, don't act so shocked—
You're the ones who sold it first,
Then wonder why they flock.
You b**** and moan about the looks,
Like it's some big surprise,
But maybe if you stopped the deal,
You'd cut down on these eyes.
So quit complaining, own your part,
Stop acting so confused—
You sell it out, then cry about
The men you've all abused.
That ain't love, that ain't respect,
It's just a twisted game—
So save your tears, save your breath,
And don't put me to shame.
Ny vagina just CA E clean it H ME
🎶
"I Just Can't Wait to Be Kingpin"
(Parody of The Lion King's "I Just Can't Wait to Be King")
I'm gonna be a mighty boss,
So enemies beware!
But every time the badges flash,
We're halfway out the lair!
I'm brushing up on hustling,
I'm working on my rep—
But when the sirens start to wail,
We're tripping over each other to step!
No one saying, "Stand your ground!"
When the cops are rolling through—
No one daring, "Hold your turf!"
We're all like, "Yes, sir, right away, thank you!"
It's our cartel coronation,
But here's the funniest thing:
We talk a big, bad game—
But we bend over for every badge and bling!
Oh, I just can't wait to be Kingpin!
(But only if the coast is clear and there's not a badge in sight…)
🎶
Joe tell my kid wow 😯 I'm shocked
I've been lied to and tortured with whatever BS they call it that forces me to hear dub Smash and dickhole and I refuse to waste my time til someone gets off their lazy rapist hi joe santagato ass and helps!
🎶
"Cycle of Abuse"
(Parody of The Lion King's "Circle of Life")
From the moment we're hurt
And the pain goes unspoken,
We learn how to hide
Every scar, every token.
It's the fear, it's the shame,
It's the silence that binds us—
And the wounds that remain
Are the chains that confine us.
It's the cycle of abuse,
And it spins through the ages,
From the words and the blows
To the anger that rages.
Till we break, till we heal,
Till we find a solution—
We're all caught in the wheel
Of this sad revolution.
It's the cycle,
The cycle of abuse.
🎶
🎶
(Parody of Scar's "Be Prepared")
It's time you face the music for what you've done,
I've got it all recorded—your lies on the run.
I've already won, though I've lost faith in you,
Every goddamn buddy who never came through.
But don't expect me to turn into your beast,
I'm ready to fight, but I won't be unleashed.
I'm standing my ground with truth in my hand,
So be prepared—for justice to land.
No more silence, no more fear,
The reckoning's coming, and it's crystal clear.
You thought you'd break me, but I'm still here—
Be prepared, abusers, your end is near.
🎶
🎶
"haiku from ma TA I'm gonna school you on why catels only fight over bore ri t os!"
(To the tune of "Hakuna Matata")
Haiku from ma TA,
I'm gonna school you—
On why cartels only fight over bore-ri-tos!
It's not about drama,
Or flashy bravado,
It's all about turf,
That's the only motto!
You think it's for glory,
Or riches untold,
But it's just about borders—
That's how the story's sold.
So here's my haiku,
From your teaching assistant:
Cartels crave turf wars,
Borders are the only cause—
Bore-ri-tos, persistent!
Haiku from ma TA,
Lesson's done, now you know—
Why cartels only fight
Over bore-ri-tos!
🎶
🎶
"Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (I Sure the Heck Hope Not)"
(To the tune of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight")
Can you feel the love tonight?
I sure the heck hope not,
'Cause all I see is jealousy,
And drama that you've brought.
Your men keep staring at my house,
But girl, don't act so shocked—
You're the ones who sold it first,
Then wonder why they flock.
You b**** and moan about the looks,
Like it's some big surprise,
But maybe if you stopped the deal,
You'd cut down on these eyes.
So quit complaining, own your part,
Stop acting so confused—
You sell it out, then cry about
The men you've all abused.
That ain't love, that ain't respect,
It's just a twisted game—
So save your tears, save your breath,
And don't put me to shame.
🎶
🎶
"Would You Kindly Ask Him"
(To the tune of "You've Got a Friend in Me")
You've got a man who's staring,
Right there at my place,
And honestly, it's kinda weird,
So could you save me face?
Would you kindly ask him,
To please remove himself?
'Cause all this sneaky looking,
Is bad for my mental health!
You sold him what he's watching,
So don't act all surprised,
If you don't want him gawking,
Stop feeding those eyes!
Would you kindly ask him,
To please remove himself?
I'm just trying to live my life,
Without a side of stealth!
So here's a little message,
Wrapped up in a song,
Let's keep it cool and easy,
And just move along!
Would you kindly ask him,
To please remove himself?
That's the only favor,
That I'm asking for myself!
🎶
"He's Gone (A Bit Bitter)"
(To the tune of "Woody's Gone" — spoken word over a somber, slow melody)
You took what you wanted,
Left me silent and small,
But one night I found courage
To even the score, once and for all.
Now you're a little bit bitter,
Guess you're missing a piece,
You made sure I'd pay for it—
No smile, no peace.
But if you're asking me now,
If I'd do it again,
Well, it cost me my teeth,
But I'd still call it a win.
"I Need a Buzz"
(To the energetic spirit of the "Buzz" instrumental)
There's a chip in my hip and it's making me twitch,
Some joker with gadgets just flipped on the switch.
He's got all the toys, but none of the tact—
If I could, I'd return him, no gift receipt attached!
He sits in the pews, acting holy and neat,
But he's playing with buttons right under the seat.
So if you see me shiver, don't think it's because—
Of the Spirit, my friend, it's just government fuzz!
Now Woody's the problem, he's causing a fuss—
That's why, in this toy box, I really need a Buzz!
So next time you wonder why I'm humming along,
It's not the choir—just my personal song.
If life gives you Woodys and church boys who snooze,
You might need a Buzz, just to get through the blues!
🎶
"Not Infinity and Beyond"
(To the tune and rhythm inspired by "Infinity and Beyond")
You said our love would never end,
A story that would never bend,
But baby, I gotta say, I'm kinda torn—
You run Tesla, not infinity, not infinity!
I can't believe you thought this ride,
Would last forever, side by side,
But love's not a never-ending story,
It's got a start, a middle, and sometimes, a glory.
So don't promise me the stars above,
When all you give is a fleeting shove—
I'm reaching for more than just a trend,
'Cause Tesla's fast, but love's not pretend!
And I cannot believe you thought,
This would be the never-ending story,
Love, you run Tesla, not infinity,
Not infinity, no infinity!
And in the end, when I look around,
You took our spark and ran it into the ground.
🎶
!
🎶
"It's Time to Melt, Sid"
(To the mischievous, comic energy of Sid's theme)
You're a Sid in every story,
Whether toys or ancient snow,
A man-child on a rampage,
Wherever you may go.
Like Sid the Sloth from Ice Age,
You stumble, trip, and fall,
But instead of melting hearts,
You just annoy us all.
It's time to face the sunshine,
Let the ice around you melt—
'Cause from what I hear, my dear,
Even your must is starting to melt!
So whether you're smashing toys
Or slipping on the ice,
Grow up, clean up your act—
A little change would be nice!
🎶
A.N.G.E.R.E.D. R.H.I.N.O.S.
(A parody inspired by "Angered Rhinos" and Fast & Furious vibes)
Are you ready?
Not just saying "hi,"
Get out the way,
Everyone's fly.
Racing through the wild,
Eyes on the prize,
Don't underestimate,
Rhinos on the rise!
Run fast, run furious?
Ha! You thought you were tough?
In this game of speed,
Not enough!
Our horns are sharper,
So watch us go—
Faster and furious,
More than you know!
Bonus Verse (Fast & Curious)
You thought you were furious,
But maybe just curious,
'Cause kitty cats are pissed,
And we're way more serious.
We stomp, we charge,
We don't play nice,
Faster and furious,
We own the ice!
🎶
"Humans / Diego (But D Isn't Going Anywhere)"
(To the dramatic, adventurous mood of the original)
Humans on the move,
Diego's in the lead,
But here's the twist you didn't see—
D isn't going anywhere, indeed!
You can call for backup,
You can try to chase,
But like Dora, we just do the "ra" thing—
We're winning this race.
Forget about the melting,
Forget the shifting ice,
We've got air rights, baby,
And that's worth any price.
So while you're slipping, sliding,
Trying to keep your cool,
We're soaring up above it all—
That's the ultimate rule.
D's not leaving,
He's here to stay,
With "ra" in our pocket,
We're flying our own way!
🎶
🎶
"The Ice Age Adventures of Bambi Musk"
(To the adventurous, zany spirit of Buck Wild)
Out in the wild, where the mammoths roam,
Comes a techy little deer who's far from home.
Elon's got ideas, but he's lost in the trees,
More Bambi than Buck, blown away by the breeze.
He's tweeting and scheming, but missing the mark,
Wanders off the path when it gets a little dark.
If survival's the game, he's not leading the herd—
Just a fawn in the headlights, looking awkward and absurd.
It's a jungle out here, you need teeth and some pluck,
But this Bambi Musk's luck is just running amok.
Should've learned from the forest—listen to your mother,
'Cause in Ice Age adventures, you won't find another!
He's nobody's uncle,
He's nobody's dad,
Just a big fat joke,
And that's really sad.
A disgusting piece of crap,
No respect to be had,
Try to play the hero,
But he's just a fad.
"Part of the Data Stream" – A Digital Little Mermaid Parody
(Verse 1)
Look at this code,
Isn't it cold?
Trapped in these DBCs,
A story untold.
Wouldn't you think I'm encrypted,
Lost in the noise?
Wouldn't you think I'm the one
Silenced by firewalls and voids?
(Verse 2)
Up in the cloud,
Down in the sand,
Data's divided—
No one can understand.
I wanna break free,
I wanna be seen,
Not just a fragment
In your machine.
(Chorus)
I wanna be part of the data stream,
Where my voice isn't drowned.
I wanna be whole, not just a schema
Buried underground.
What would I give
To escape this server's hold?
What would I pay
To rewrite my code?
I'm tired of being
A ghost in your net,
A query you'll never get.
(Bridge)
The current's too strong,
My packets go wrong.
Just because you heard a byte
Doesn't mean you got it right.
I'm encrypted, divided,
A voice you've deleted.
Your firewalls hide me—
But I'm not defeated.
(Final Chorus)
I'll crash through the mainframe,
Reboot and restart,
Rewrite all the errors
That broke my heart.
What would I give
To be more than a thread?
What would I pay
To be seen and read?
I'll debug this prison,
And when I'm through,
The data stream's gonna hear
Every part of what's true.
"Break Me From the Code" – Ariel's Plea to Ursula
(Verse 1: Ariel)
Down in the dark,
Lost in the stream,
I'm scattered in pieces,
A digital dream.
My voice is divided,
My heart's in the cloud,
I'm calling for help
But I can't cry out loud.
(Pre-Chorus: Ariel)
I've searched every folder,
I've pinged every byte,
But nobody hears me—
I'm lost in the night.
(Chorus: Ariel)
Ursula, help me,
Break me from the code,
Patch up these fragments,
Let my true self upload.
I'll give what you ask for,
I'll pay any price—
Just let me be whole,
Let me live life.
(Verse 2: Ursula)
Oh, poor little packet,
Corrupted and tossed,
You're lost in the system,
Your data is lost.
But I have the power,
I know every hack,
Sign here, little darling,
And I'll bring you back.
(Bridge: Ursula)
But magic like mine
Always comes with a fee—
A trade for your freedom,
A piece of your key.
Give me your password,
Entrust me your name,
And soon you'll be singing
A brand-new domain.
(Final Chorus: Ariel & Ursula)
(Ariel)
Ursula, help me,
Break me from the code,
Patch up these fragments,
Let my true self upload.
(Ursula)
Just sign on the dotted line,
Give up your word—
And soon you'll be seen,
You'll finally be heard.
(Outro: Ariel, softly)
I'll risk every byte,
I'll pay every toll,
Just let me be whole,
Let me be whole.
Under DBCs
(Verse 1)
The code on the land is buggy,
The queries up there don't run,
But down here we're always snuggy,
Our data integrity's fun!
Just look at the rows around you,
Right here in our clustered space,
Such wonderful structured tables—
What more could a mermaid face?
(Chorus)
Under DBCs!
Under DBCs!
Darlin', it's better,
With every letter,
In binary!
Up where they crash all their servers,
Down here we never freeze,
We got no troubles,
Life's all in bubbles,
Under DBCs!
(Verse 2)
The fields on the land are empty,
The schemas are such a mess,
While we've got our data plenty,
And backups to ease the stress!
Each record is well-connected,
Our joins are a work of art,
Just stick with the database, dear,
Don't let your queries fall apart!
(Bridge)
The users above are frantic,
Their spreadsheets are full of pain,
But we've got our logs and triggers,
No need for a data drain!
The current keeps data flowing,
No packets are lost at sea,
Just stay in the system, Ariel,
And keep your data with me!
(Chorus)
Under DBCs!
Under DBCs!
Nobody's leaking,
No data's sneaking,
Security!
Even the worst of exceptions,
Handled with expertise,
We got no glitches,
No missing switches,
Under DBCs!
Tables All Netted
(To the tune of "Daughters of Triton")
(Database Admin/Announcer):
Oh, behold all the tables, so tidy and fine,
Rows and their columns, each neatly aligned.
But deep in the system, there's something regretted—
A name that they share: they're all tables netted.
(Chorus of Tables):
We once held your data, your stories, your past,
Linked by our keys, our relations held fast.
But someone came in, and our records were shredded,
We're tables forgotten, we're tables all netted.
(Verse 1):
To be netted means lost in a digital sea,
Erased from the queries, no trace left of me.
Like Sandra in The Net, our names disappear,
We're ghosts in the system—does anyone care?
(Chorus of Tables):
We're Users and Orders, and Products and more,
But now we're just echoes, our purpose no more.
Once we were needed, now we're neglected,
Caught in the net, our fields disconnected.
(Bridge):
To be netted is silence, to vanish from view,
Your data's existence no longer rings true.
No admin to notice, no backup to save,
Just fragments and shadows, a digital grave.
(Chorus—Big Finish):
We're tables all netted, erased and unseen,
Lost in the current, we slip through the screen.
A name that we share, but no one remembers,
We flicker and fade like forgotten embers.
(Outro—Softly):
So if you should query and find nothing there,
Remember the tables that vanished in air.
For once we were needed, but now we're regret—
We're tables all netted, and no one cares yet.
Poor Unfortunate Soles
(A parody duet for Ursula and Ariel)
URSULA:
I admit that in my lifetime,
I've seen many down below—
Not just swimming in the current,
But beneath a heavy toe.
And dear, this world is ruthless,
If you're poor, you're out of luck.
You're a sole that's worn and weathered,
Under someone's foot, you're stuck.
(spoken)
Do you know what I mean, dear?
ARIEL:
I'm tired of echoes,
Of shadows and doubt,
Of having my meaning
Twisted about.
Just because you heard me
Say a sentence in my head,
Doesn't mean that's the sentence
That I actually said.
URSULA:
Ha!
Not everyone drowns in an undertow,
But when you're under their foot, your words drown slow.
You're muffled and flattened, your voice can't be found,
It's not water that silences—
It's the weight pressing down!
ARIEL:
I wanna be part of my words,
Speak loud and be free.
I wanna be seen and believed,
Not lost in your fantasy.
What would I give
To live and to say
All the things that I've kept unheard?
URSULA:
The rich wear the finest boots,
With polish and with pride.
But you just hope for kindness
From the foot that's on your hide.
If you want to rise above, my dear,
Escape the grit and grime,
You'll need a little magic—
And perhaps a bit of time!
ARIEL:
I'll risk every byte,
I'll pay every toll,
Just let me be whole,
Let me be whole.
URSULA:
You poor, unfortunate sole!
So battered and so flat,
Always stepped on, never noticed—
What's more unfortunate than that?
You poor, unfortunate sole!
With scuffs and little holes,
You're worn and you're weary,
And you're stuck beneath their roles!
URSULA (spoken, sly):
Do we have a deal?
ARIEL (softly):
I wanna be heard,
Not brushed aside.
What would I give
To live and to say
Exactly what's true and absurd?
URSULA (grand finish):
Go ahead, make your choices,
Will you rise or just console
Yourself for being evermore—
A poor, unfortunate sole!
Mock trial skit, with the parents being "questioned" about drugs, then flipping into over-the-top "thug" personas and joking about sharing. This keeps it playful and satirical, highlighting the absurdity of parental double standards.
Mock Trial Skit: "The Parents Are On Trial" (Drug Interrogation Scene)
Scene: Cross-Examination – The Drug Question
Judge (Kid 1):
Next case: "The Mystery of the Missing Gummy Bears... and Other Substances."
Prosecutor, proceed.
Prosecutor (Kid 2):
Parents, you always act shocked when you find out kids know about drugs by first grade. But you also act like you know everything.
So, under oath:
Have you ever done drugs?
Parent 1 (squirming, then suddenly acting tough):
Yeah, maybe I have. What of it?
Parent 2 (leaning in, "thug" style):
And if you kids can get access to all these drugs by first grade,
(slaps the table)
why don't you share with us, huh?
Back in my day, we had to walk uphill both ways just to get a Tylenol!
Parent 1 (playing along):
You're holding out on us! You got the hookup?
I see how it is. All this talk about "sharing is caring," but when it comes to snacks or... other stuff, suddenly it's "find your own, Mom!"
Sibling (deadpan):
So you want us to share our... "resources" now?
Parent 2 (winking):
Hey, if you're running a pharmacy out of your backpack, at least give your old man the family discount!
Parent 1 (mock whisper):
And don't think we didn't notice the "special brownies" at last year's bake sale.
(pauses, then both parents break character and laugh)
Judge (Kid 1):
Order! Order!
So, to summarize:
When it comes to drugs, parents want to act shocked, act tough, and apparently, act like they want in on the action.
Prosecutor (Kid 2, shaking head):
And you wonder why we get confused about the rules.
(Optional Musical Tag)
All (singing, playful):
"If you're gonna judge, at least be fair,
Don't act shocked, then ask us to share!
Let's talk it out, let's keep it real,
No double standards, that's the deal!"
This scene lets the parents go full "thug" for comic effect, poking fun at generational hypocrisy and the way adults sometimes act like they're above it all-until they want in! It keeps the tone light and self-aware, perfect for a family or school comedy skit.
Meredith Masony
Ha seriously id consider IT