"— You again? Get lost before I throw you in jail," said the policeman with a hostile tone.
"— I'm just picking up dirty and useless bottles here, cleaning up our city from trash. Do you understand me? Why are you bothering me, a miserable man who makes a living off dirty bottles?"
I protested.
"— Alright, go ahead. Doing work for the good of the city."
...?
They didn't insult me worse or start beating me? That's something new since I became homeless.
After that, I collected an extraordinary amount of bottles around the neighborhood. I could feel my pockets and hands completely full, and I started to feel hungry.
I needed to eat — I was starving.
"I should go talk to that girl and see how much money I'll get. I don't know, but I hope she doesn't cheat me. I've forgotten how to read, and those 20 years I spent without money... reading wasn't really needed for survival."
...
I approached the girl near the bottle collection center and began selling my bottles...
"— So, miss, good afternoon. I brought ten of these green bottles. If I'm not mistaken, that's ten rubles, not one ruble each. Please give me ten rubles, miss."
"— Hello."
She handed me ten rubles...
"— Oh, ten rubles! Damn, a golden coin, beautiful, nice. And these nine red bottles — unfortunately only nine. Please give me eighteen rubles."
'I guess I haven't forgotten how to read completely. At least I know a little.'
The girl mistakenly gave me thirty rubles, and when I saw that, I couldn't help but smile.
"— Oh, give it back."
Right after those words, I handed her back a twenty-ruble coin.
"— Well, I'm an honest man, so here's your money back. And you shouldn't throw money around like that, miss. There are dishonest hobos around here who won't return it."
• What are you selling? •
'Honestly, those hobos are really disgusting. My legs still hurt from them.'
While I was lost in thought, the girl just stood and stared at me.
"— So miss, are you going to give me the money or not?"
After those words, the girl snapped out of it and handed me ten rubles.
"— Keep the change."
"— Oh! Even two rubles more than needed! And these five blue bottles, five rubles each, please."
And so I got five silver coins worth five rubles each.
I thanked the girl for the money.
"— Thank you, miss. If I find more bottles, I'll definitely come back to you."
"— Come again, sir."
• Do you have a permit to set up your tents here? •
Damn, my jaw hurts for some reason. I should go see a doctor.
Then I looked to the right at the road and saw workers doing roadwork.
"Damn, those guys are working... I should get some kind of job too."
With that thought, I saw the same policeman from before. He was asking a vendor for a permit to set up tents, so I went to the market.
• Yes, here, take a look. •
• Alright, I believe you. •
"— Oh, good day, young man!" I said to the vendor.
Then I noticed the stern look from the policeman aimed at me.
"— Oh! Good day to you too, respected officer."
"— Greetings."
"— We don't welcome bums here. Get lost, you piece of shit," said the vendor with a harsh voice.
Then he hit me with some kind of stick and looked like he was about to continue, but I started talking.
"— I have money, respected sir. I have money."
After I said that, he finally stepped back to his stall and seemed to calm down.
"— Okay."
"— I just want to buy food. I'll die of hunger otherwise, and you don't want the corpse of a hobo stinking up your storefront by morning, right? You'll have to clean up the dead hobo if I don't eat — so what do you sell?"
• For you, 50% discount •
"So... instant noodles, five rubles... There's also one for ten rubles, fifteen, and twenty."
"— Alright, what's the difference between them? Why is this one five rubles and that one twenty?"
• See you soon. I'll be back with an inspection •
The vendor immediately answered.
"— Taste."
"— Taste? What's the flavor of the five-ruble one? What flavor for five rubles?"
• 5₽ •
• Here you go •
"— Good."
"— Good? And the ten-ruble one?"
"— Chicken."
"— Chicken, huh? And the fifteen-ruble one?"
"— Pork."
"— Pork? No way. And the twenty-ruble one?"
"— Beef."
"— Beef... Ooh. I like beef."
After a short pause, I mumbled something.
"— Let me try them all. I'll taste your flavors. So give me one for five rubles."
I handed over five rubles, and he gave me the noodles.
• Come here •
• Hey, what are you doing? Leave before I lock you up •
"— Alright, and now one for ten rubles."
He handed me the ten-ruble noodle pack.
• Hey, look — thugs •
• Get out of here, or you'll be locked up for a long time •
• Ptuh •
"— Alright, good..."
"— And now for fifteen rubles."
I gave him a fifteen-ruble coin and got the noodles.
"— And one for twenty. Here's a ten and two fives, bam, bam."
'Oh, I even have five rubles left. Cool...'
You know, I think I'd better give him those five rubles too.
"— Give me one more five-ruble noodle."
'I don't think it'll be that bad.'
• Just a sec, I'll whack you with a pickaxe •
For the last time, he handed me the noodles, and I thanked the vendor — because despite me being a stinking bum, he still sold me food.
"— Alright, thank you so much. Maybe I'll come by again. Thanks for selling to me."
• Scram •
"— Get out of here. You stink."
• Go stink in your own yard •
"— Sorry, sorry... well, I don't think I stink, but fine. I did take a shower, though. Maybe he just doesn't like bums?"
And yeah — I really did shower.
...
Alright, time to try the noodles.
"— What? Wait — what kind of noodles are these... Noodles with a flavor of rotten meat? Whatever. At least I'll give it a try — as they say, don't judge a book by its cover."