Here we have a nightmare creature in its natural habitat. Its hard carapace? A defense mechanism meant to shield it from others of its kind—corrupted and vile. As we observe, the creature wanders leisurely, confident. This is its home turf. None shall invade it, not if they know what's good for them.
What might this abomination be called, you ask?
"Silex, if you don't shut up, I'm throwing you into the Cursed Sea," Sunny said, ever the serious father figure, scolding his beloved son—me.
The two of us were crouched behind the crumbled ruins of an old house, sharpening our metaphorical teeth, stalking prey for me to devour. Said prey? A grotesque fusion of horse, goat, and human. Its skin was a scaled green carapace, leafy protrusions sprouting from its back. It stood on a multitude of human-like arms, its equine body draped in regal clothing dyed in oceanic hues. If not for the goat's head and googly, bendy eyes, it might have passed for some twisted version of a seahorse.
Sunny and I waited for the perfect moment. Then I lunged from the shadows, hidden by his Attribute and my own enchantment—[Child of Shadows].
Shuddering on four blood-forged, spear-like appendages, I let out my battle cry:
"You fish-breathed bastard! Got a face not even a mother could love! How's it feel being nature's failed patchwork quilt?!"
I hurled every insult I could muster. Most made no sense, but they worked. It didn't understand human speech, yet reacted to my voice, charging straight at me.
Before it could reach me, Effie leapt in front of it, shield raised—probably a Memory. The impact staggered the beast. Dazed. Off balance.
Father—Sunny—appeared from the side and drove the blade of [Midnight Shard] into the back of its skull. The tip poked out clean through the forehead, right between its big, soulless eyes. Dead as it had lived—ugly and confused.
Sunny yanked the blade free and wiped it clean on me. A little rude, but expected. With the opening clear, I dove into the beast's corpse.
Slithering through its soft innards, I reached the soul shards. By the time I emerged, I was absolutely drenched in blood—and the moss had already begun growing.
I dragged the soul shards out and presented them with flair.
"Hey pretty lady, I got you something," I said in the flirtiest, most innocent tone I could manage. Extremely awkward, given I only had access to Sunny's voice until recently. Now, thanks to Effie's brilliant idea, I had hers too—she recorded it in me so we could prank Sunny.
I handed her the soul shard. Sunny and I had already gotten our share, and neither of us had any use for them, unlike Effie.
"Oh no," she gasped. "I may have just been swooned! Oh, my rocky companion, take me!" She paused, then added with a dramatic sigh, "Though that voice of yours kind of ruins the moment. Sorry—it's not you, it's your father. His heinous voice is a dealbreaker. Farewell, my pebbly love."
Sunny ignored us, as usual. Since Effie moved in, Sunny had doubled down on his training. And so had I. With her help, I'd hunted beasts, monsters—anything with a soul to consume.
I'd gained new enchantments. And blood moss points. Or... something? Look, I don't actually know how to quantify it, but... I grew more moss.
"Hey boss! Did I get stronger? Stronger? Did I?!"
"Hmm... Yeeha. You did, Rocky."
Sunny gave me a nod and opened up my description. He'd decided to name me himself—couldn't let his most miraculous Memory be labeled by someone else.
So now, I am known—well, not known—as Rocky Silex.
Yes, my name is literally Rocky Rock. Hilarious, I know.
Sunny began reading my description out loud, skipping the boring parts:
[Ordinary Rock]
Memory Rank: Awakened
Memory Tier: I
Memory Type: Tool
Memory Description: [Just an ordinary rock]
Blood Moss: [129/10,000]
Enchantments: [Not Really], [Ego], [Hungering for More], [Growth], [Child of Shadows], [Shadow Kin], [Bloody Will], [Flesh Mold], [Breathless], [Flight], [Strengthen]
Enchantment Descriptions:
[Flesh Mold]: Flesh is form. But what's the purpose of a form? For a monster: clumping, stitching, becoming. May you gain purpose.
[Breathless]: Born of the sea—what purpose does air serve, if not to suffocate? Live free. Live without breath.
[Flight]: Dominate the skies, monarch above all.
[Strengthen]: Take strides in the wild. Let the earth fortify you—be strong as the tree, fierce as the wolf.
Despite devouring a bucketload of blood, I only got four new enchantments. Well, three, since [Flight] came from Kai. One time he scraped himself on a wall while we were flying—bled a bit. I fed. I gained flight. Thanks, buddy.
[Strengthen] came from Effie. Sunny told her about my weirdness, and she, determined to outdo him, fed me a lot of her blood. At this point, I can pick her out in a crowd just by scent. And before you ask—yes, I can smell. How? Genius, answer me this: how can a rock think?
[Flesh Mold] came from a parasitic awakened monster. It lets me embed myself into corpses. Disgusting. Hard pass. That one's staying unused.
[Breathless] came from the seahorse-goat abomination. Completely pointless. I don't have lungs.
"Boss, boss! Do you still love me, even if I can only breathe underwater?"
"Rocky. You're a fucking rock. You don't breathe."
"Boss, boss—"
I kept going. Annoying Sunny is my one true joy. Effie joined in. We're truly a match made in heaven.
…Wait, doesn't she get married in canon? And have a kid? Was it before or after she became a Master?
Before I could spiral, we were home again—climbing into our secret room in the cathedral through a ceiling crack. My mind still fogged up.
"Hey, Effie? Mind if I ask a personal question?"
"Shoot."
"…You got a husband? Or a boyfriend?"
"Huh?!"