It was almost misleadingly bright in the therapy room. A wall of framed art, a glass pitcher of lemon water on a side table, and a circle of plush beige chairs all attempted to humanize the procedure.
Even so, Michael had the impression that he was back in the waiting areas of his former existence, but this time he wasn't hiding. He was making the decision to be here. alongside her.
Lorna sat next to him, her right hand's silver ring twisted nervously as her legs were crossed at the ankle. She gave him a single glance and smiled quizzically.
Both of them were prepared. And afraid.
The therapist, a clipboard-wielding, serene, middle-aged woman with gentle eyes, greeted them warmly.
Michael. Lorna. I am aware that this is your first meeting.
Both of them gave a nod.
"Alright. This is a place for patience and honesty. We are not here to make all the changes at once. Our purpose is to comprehend. to recover. Where would you like to start, then?"
Michael took a slow breath. "I suppose I'm admitting my failure. Not only Lorna. but me. I buried it all under control, fear, and work. I didn't believe I deserved love, so I pushed it away."
Lorna's eyes wavered as her emotions increased. I didn't say anything long enough. In order to keep him comfortable, I shrunk myself. And I placed more blame on myself than on him after he left.
The therapist gave a nod. "Those admissions are courageous. Could you tell me what you two are currently hoping for?"
Lorna looked from the therapist to Michael and back again. "I'm hoping we can construct something more robust than the one we had previously. Not as we once were, but as we have evolved into."
Michael's voice was soft. "I hope I can continue to gain her confidence.And discover how to love fearlessly."
Slowly, the session progressed. Tears were shed. extended silences. Even when Michael acknowledged how lost he had felt as a father and how embarrassed he had been to miss Jason's formative years.
Lorna talked about how she had secretly lamented the version of him she had loved and how the most difficult but essential step had been coming to love herself.
Not everything was resolved in an hour.
They did, however, believe her when the therapist grinned and said, "You're doing the hard work," at the end of the session.
The sky outside was calm but cloudy. They approached Michael's car in silence.
As usual, he opened the door for her, but this time, when she hesitated before boarding, her eyes were filled with more than gratitude; they were filled with a sense of calm.
"It was more difficult than I anticipated," she muttered.
"Yes," he replied. "But is it worth it?"
She gave a nod. Indeed. Worth it.
He grinned. "Next week at the same time?"
She returned the smile. "Certainly."
And as he softly shut the door after her, they both realized that healing wasn't about going back in time.
Together, they had to learn how to carry it.