Rei wasn't running this time. Oh no.
He was hijacking.
Big difference.
"System," he whispered as he crept through the quiet, moonlit airfield, his cloak flapping in the wind like a budget superhero. "Tell me this isn't another cursed plan."
[System Notification: This is indeed a cursed plan.]
[Mission: ESCAPE ATTEMPT OMEGA — Objective: Reach the Northern Wastes aboard a stolen skyship.]
[Difficulty: ████████████]
[Estimated Survival Rate: 3.2% (Rounded generously for your ego.)]
"Better odds than usual," Rei muttered.
The plan was simple.
Step 1: Sneak into Duke Alzareth's private skyship hangar.
Step 2: Steal the most airworthy ship available.
Step 3: Fly far, far away—beyond yandere range.
Step 4: Cry tears of freedom in peace.
He darted behind a crate labeled "FRAGILE – Contains Griffin Eggs (Do Not Shake)." His breath came in short gasps, adrenaline surging. He'd spent the last three days evading surprise blood pacts, infernal wedding scrolls, surprise tea dates, and at least one accidental near-baptism in a love dungeon.
It was time.
He peeked out. The coast was clear.
With all the stealth of a desperate romantic comedy protagonist, Rei slipped into the hangar, heart pounding.
And there it was—his salvation.
The Nebula Swan: a sleek, ivory skyship lined with golden trim, swan wings extended from the hull like divine fins. Four massive mana turbines thrummed quietly in standby mode.
"Perfect," Rei whispered, grinning. "System, I'm about to fly. Like a metaphor for freedom."
[System Warning: You have no pilot license, no training, and no plan for what happens after liftoff.]
Rei grinned manically. "As usual."
He climbed the boarding ramp and sprinted for the crystal helm.
"Let's see…" He placed his hands on the control sphere, channeled mana, and thought really, really hard about "go."
The ship rumbled. Lights glowed. Mana surged.
[Skyship Hijack: SUCCESSFUL]
[You are now Wanted in 3 kingdoms. Congratulations.]
[Title Acquired: Cloud Criminal]
The Nebula Swan roared to life, rising from the hangar with a hiss of steam and glory.
Rei whooped as the ship soared into the clouds.
"I'M FREE!" he shouted into the night. "NO MORE MARRIAGE SCROLLS! NO MORE BLOOD RITUALS! NO MORE—"
"Hello, Rei."
The voice didn't come from the helm.
It came from a crate.
A crate of oranges.
He turned slowly, pupils shrinking.
The crate exploded in a shower of citrus.
Rosette emerged, dressed in black silk and holding twin daggers with smiley faces etched into the hilts.
"I added sleeping powder to your midnight tea last night," she said sweetly. "I knew you'd try to escape."
[System Alert: Assassin Maid DLC Activated.]
[New Threat Detected: Rosette of the Fruit-Based Stalker Guild.]
"I… HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING IN THE ORANGES?!"
"Two days."
"Why—how—how do you still look perfect?!"
"I'm fueled by obsession and vitamin C."
She lunged.
He dove behind the wheel.
"I JUST WANTED FREEDOM!"
The ship tilted as Rosette chased him, daggers glinting.
Then a trumpet sounded in the sky.
Rei's head snapped upward—and horror dawned.
From the clouds, golden light broke as six pegasus knights dove in formation, feathers glowing, lances ready.
At the center: Seraphina, Princess of Radiance, riding a winged beast that sparkled with unnecessary majesty.
"REI!" she shouted. "RETURN AT ONCE! YOU DIDN'T BRUSH YOUR HAIR THIS MORNING! THAT'S A BREACH OF CONTRACT!"
"What contract?!" he screamed.
[System Notification: Seraphina's 132-Page Relationship Agreement has been forcibly notarized by Royal Magic.]
[Clause 44: Daily Grooming Affirmation]
The pegasus knights threw lasso spells. One snagged the rudder.
The ship lurched.
"STOP RUINING MY SKY THEFT!" Rei bellowed.
More explosions. More chaos. Rosette was still chasing him with knives, dodging oranges rolling across the deck.
Then—shadow loomed overhead.
A roar.
A dragon's roar.
"NO."
Drakana dive-bombed from above, muscles gleaming, flame trailing her tail like a comet.
She landed on the deck with a thunderous crash, cracking boards under her boots.
"REI," she growled, fangs glinting. "YOU'RE MISSING MATING SEASON!"
"I'M MISSING MY SANITY!"
She slammed a fist into the hull. "This is foreplay in dragon culture!"
Seraphina shouted, "Back away, lizard!"
Drakana shouted, "Bite me, sparkle princess!"
Rosette whispered, "Stab each other. I'll marry the corpse."
[System Alert: Skyship Morale at 0%]
[Suggested Action: FLEE IMMEDIATELY]
Rei ran.
He sprinted across the deck, dodged a thrown dagger, ducked under a fireball, leapt over a floating marriage invitation flung by Seraphina, and reached the edge.
No thoughts.
Just survival instinct.
He jumped.
"REI!" all three screamed as he dove headfirst into the clouds.
He plummeted. Wind howled. The world blurred.
[System Alert: Congratulations. You are now free-falling.]
[Secondary Alert: Freedom includes rapid descent at terminal velocity.]
[Backup Plan Suggestion: Start praying.]
"GODDESSSSSSS ERIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!"
But there was no divine intervention.
Only gravity.
Until—
He saw it.
A glowing building below.
No. Not just any building.
A royal wedding cathedral.
White stone. Red carpet.
Hundreds of guests.
A priest.
A marriage altar.
And a giant banner that read:
"ROYAL MASS MARRIAGE FESTIVAL – TODAY ONLY!"
Rei screamed.
[System Alert: You are on course for a romantic collision.]
He hit the altar.
BOOM.
The crowd gasped. Confetti exploded.
The priest blinked. "Uh… is this the groom?"
Then—
THUD. CRASH. WHUMP.
Seraphina landed in a radiant flash beside him, hair immaculate.
Rosette dropped from above, landing in a kneel, blades out.
Drakana descended like a meteor, cracking tiles.
Then—
Lucivella appeared in a puff of hellfire. "I sensed marriage energy. Who's cheating on me?"
And finally—
Lilia stepped from the crowd, holding a bouquet.
She smiled.
"I had a feeling he'd land here."
Rei lay on his back, winded, staring at five beautiful lunatics forming a perfect pentagon of doom around him.
[System Notification: You have landed in a spontaneous matrimonial battleground.]
[New Mission: SURVIVE WEDDING BOSS RUSH]
[Bonus Objective: Escape in one piece.]
The priest looked around nervously. "So… which of you is marrying him?"
"ME!" shouted all five at once.
The guests cheered.
The wedding music swelled.
Rei reached toward the sky.
"God… if I die… make it quick this time…"
[System Response: Nope. You've got 960 chapters left, my dude.]
Fade to white.
To be continued…