For a good minute, no sound reaches my ears.
My maid stood stunned. Her mouth forms an o. True to her dove colored eyes, she looks like she wants to fly out of the window in distress.
Careful not to make any sudden moves, I pull two battered yellow pillows from the bench under the window and place them on the ground.
I wait for her to snap back into reality. It would be bad if she were to spread her wings, take off flying wildly in panic, splatter against the window, and break her thin neck against the glass.
Her mouth falls open, and in an airy voice almost completely devoid of life, she manages to speak her name.„Lennie."
„Lennie. That's it?" I question. Now that I know her name, I want to hear more. And a glance at the clock tells me we still have some time.
Lennie, that sounds much better than having to refer to her as just ‚My Maid', looks unsure for a moment but answers obediently."The dressmaker's daughter. That's how I was known back home."
I mull over the new info, my hands smoothing over my dress. I compliment her, keeping my voice light. „That is why you knew how to put my dress on properly? You have seen before how it is done." Dressing a noble woman was a little complicated, a skill to be learned. In the past, I had to direct her predecessors to get it done. „You are skilled at it."
She was the best in it by far, but I know I'm laying on thick to break the ice. Compared to a trained maid, she had been clumsy. But I take what I can get.
„I have seen my mother dress up the rich clients." Lennie now has a tinge of color coming forth on her cheeks.
It makes me wonder if she liked her prior life surrounded by cloth. I sit on the pillow, and pad the pillow next to me, „Come sit down and tell me more about it."
Lennie obliges, and the skirt of her uniform bunches up, swallowing her. Her face was red now, and her eyes shone with fond memories. She looks cute. Like a little sister who insisted on dressing in her older sister's clothes.
Although the picture is off. The bones under her skin are too sharp, and the smile is missing.
„My ma used to dress some rich customers. She never let me touch any of the fabrics, but if I behaved, she would give me scraps and yarn so I could make clothes for my doll."
I commit to memory to getting some fabric and a sewing kit for her. She could use a dress that fit her, if we ever went out. But one thing bugs me. „That sounds like you come from a merchant family."
Lennie nods. The light in her eyes is fading a bit. „I am but what I just told happened years ago. Right now, we're destitute. At least I think so." She trails a finger along her cheekbone, following the path prior tears had created. „My Pa sold me." While she talked, her shoulders rounded out as if a heavy weight had suddenly settled on them. She takes in a shuddering breath and goes still. Silence falls. I think she has finished when she adds a last sentence. Her voice is faint."It was for the good of the family."
Anger floods me.
„For the good of the family that you have no part in anymore." I spat out, scaring Lennie.
She flinches.
I turn down the heat. „You should not think of them as your family anymore. The moment they decided to sell you, they degraded from your parents to your owners."
Lennie shakes her head. „No, you don't understand. I have two younger brothers who needed food and schooling. Once the crisis is over, they will buy me back, Pa promised."
„And in the meantime, you have to do whatever your buyer wants from you. I have seen the bruises, Lennie. My father is a swine. I know what he did to you." My hands ball into fists, the fabric of my gloves keeping my nails from digging into my palms.
Lennie is a mix of shocked and terrified. Fresh tears were dripping down her face.
I realize that in my rage, I brought up the unpleasant memories she likely had blocked in her mind.
Damn.
Lennie covers her bruise with her hand. She seems caught up in a stupor. „They love me, my brothers will come for me." It sounds like a mantra. Like something she is telling herself every night in her bed.
„Brothers whom you will likely never see again. Chances are slim that you live that long."
I hate to burst her bubble of hope, but that is who I am. A realist. I can't get caught up in fantasies. Otherwise, I will never get anything done.
Lennie's story hurts me differently from those of her predecessors. All tales always spin around money and end with the sale of a human to another human. It's sick all around. Our world. But this is the first time a father willingly put a price on his daughter for his well-being and that of his sons.
Boys.
The story hits home. I'm pretty sure if I were a boy, my father would have never thought of selling me.
I can't let Lennie hang with nothing.
„If you serve me to the best of your abilities, I will try to make your life here as good as possible."
Lennie peeks at me from behind her tears. Hopefull. Maybe even trusting, too trusting.
My father is her first owner, and I am her first Lady. She had never been lied to. At least she does not know betrayal.
„At least I can make it so that you do not fall pregnant." If she were to get with child, it would be her death sentence. „I will make you a magic potion."
Lennie's eyes go wide. She stutters, „Ma-Ma-magic-for me?"
I nod. „Is the best way." I grin.
The potion is complicated, but after what happened with Maija, I had prepared.
I leaned toward Lennie, our breaths intermingling. Her air shuddering past her lips and mine flowing out in a calm stream. I need her to listen.
„But you must keep quiet." My voice transforms into a sharp blade between us. This is more than just smuggling bread from the dinner table. This is far more serious. A two-sided blade. One edge tickling at my throat, the other edge grazes Lennie's fair skin. „If you want to believe in your brother's love, you may. But don't forget yourself. Hang onto life for your sake...We are surrounded by monsters. Don't tell a soul about this, or an even worse fate will be waiting for us both."