After much thought and consideration, and for the sake of my own convenience and making sure I function more effectively and efficiently, I decided to cut my hair and bought some shirts and pants. I still use Anna's existing clothes occasionally, but I've been wearing more shirts and pants daily. This decision is not easy especially in society that still emphasize gender differences, but there's no harm in giving this decision a go. Who knows, I might just become a trendsetter in the women's fashion scene around here. Or in the worst case, will I be shunned by society? Please God, I pray for strength and patience to bear the trials that lie before me. Amen.
"Sain, is it really unusual for a woman to have short hair and wear a shirt and pants outfit instead of a dress?" I asked strangely as I finished handing in my administration report to Mr Wright.
"I told you, it's not common here for women to have short hair and wear pants. Why suddenly asking that?," Sain asked as she prepared dinner in the kitchen.
"Usually their response is more cynical or resentful of my appearance, but today a middle-aged woman I met in the market alley patted me on the back and said, 'What a tough life you have, huh? Here for you. They are are not fresh, but still good to eat,' and gave me a basket of apples".
"Then tomorrow you'd better go home through that way again, it's better if you look shabby and miserable. If anyone asks you what you're going through, tell them you've just suffered a series of misfortunes: you've been sacked from your job, you have a chronic illness (memory loss) and you've lost your family (a brother who hasn't been in touch)."
"Do you expect me to get free stuff daily?"
"Of course it's for your own good. Imagine if you could have dessert for dinner every day,' Sain replied with a sneer.
I was upset and immediately went to the bathroom to clean myself up. Sain said, 'I've made pudding for dessert tonight. Don't be angry.' Hearing this, I turned around and showed her my sweetest face.
...
Since I decided to cut my hair and wear pants, people's reactions and responses to my appearance have changed drastically. Sain was very much against the idea at first, but also couldn't bear to see my uncomfortable in long hair and dresses. She warned me to watch out for negative and possibly aggressive reactions, especially from men and nobility. But I don't really care, as long as the people closest to me didn't behave that way. Mr Wright is even happier that I am more nimble and agile than I was in the dress and long hair.
"I'm not as conservative as most people, if your current appearance makes you more productive, effective and efficient in your work and daily life, then what's the point of insisting on following existing customs? You even look cooler and better than all the men here... Hahaha," he said with a thundering laugh.
I just smiled proudly at his praise. Anna's androgynous face, with its cold expression when standing still, looked cool. Also, her body was tall compared to other women and looked fuller than before (due to my voracious appetite, my weight gain stabilized in just a few months). Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of physical activity - workout. If this tall body had been complemented by strong muscles, I think I would have been even more of a perfect handsome.
"If anyone in here ever bothers you because of your appearance, just tell me, and I'll teach them a lesson," Mr Wright said over lunch in the cafeteria.
After hearing that other workers on the orchard became as friendly as they had been before I changed my appearance. Especially when they saw my improved work.
...
People got used to my new appearance after a while. They no longer looked at me with cynical or hateful eyes. Instead, they were amused to see Sain become very protective of me, acting like a possessive wife towards her husband.
"Ann, have you finished the lunch I prepared?' Sain asked in her soft voice as she wiped the sweat from my face. Even though the lunch she prepared was leftover food that had to be eaten immediately today. We had tried to finish it this morning for breakfast, but there was still leftover. Sain and I are the kind of people who don't like to wasted food. So Sain brought it as my lunch.
I finished it Sain, thanks for the lunch,' I replied flatly.
"Good thing I thought the cafeteria's lunch menu today wouldn't be filling enough for you, so I brought you an extra lunch so you wouldn't go hungry while you were working. You worked well today, didn't anyone bother you?' she asked as she looked around.
"Sain, hahaha of course I worked well and all the colleagues here are very nice to me," I said as I grimaced and pulled her hand to leave the staff room.
…
"Sain, what are you doing?" I asked in a whisper.
"I was just wondering if your colleagues still treating you badly," she replied curtly.
"They've behaved normally with me since Mr Wright praised my performance, so you don't need to worry. Anyway, what's with the exaggeration?' I said, still in a whisper.
"I'm just practising my acting skills and seeing how your colleagues react. What do you think of my acting? Is it good?" she asked confidently.
"I don't know, you're definitely three times weirder than usual. I have to get on with my report," I said, pushing Sain towards the exit, and went back to writing my report.
Every weekend I go to the library and read books and articles about time travel, parallel dimensions, spiritualism, mysticism and occultism. I try to find any information that might give me some idea of how i came to be in this world. At times like this i really miss the existence of computer and my lovely smartphone. the ease of accessing information online is something I truly yearn for.
Here, it's not easy to meet other people who study the subject, and the reading material is limited. not to mention the prejudice against women from commoners who can read, write and interested in knowledge or information related to this subject. Fortunately, once I changed my appearance, I didn't get many cynical looks, probably because people assumed I was really a man.
From my recollection of transmigration novels, at least the host character is usually present in the story, even if only as an extra or with a very brief description. However, as far as I can remember, there is no character called Annania or servant character who helps Riella during her stay at the Mollota residence. Even when Riella finally manages to escape and hide out in the remote village where she was born, and manages to make a potion to cure the plague that's sweeping the Empire, there's no character who helps her and stays by her side. That's what I love about this novel. The main character is independent and makes her own way to her happiness. Although I know exactly how difficult and lonely such a life can be...
Since my parents died in a plane crash when I was 12, I've lived with my older brother, who had just graduated from college and was about to start interning at a multinational company. There were no other relatives as my mother and father were orphans who built their own careers and married into families. They were both medical researchers who attending an international conference abroad at that time.
I only found out that they had both died a month after the accident. I was only given a short explanation that it was impossible to contact Mum and Dad. My brother always said that because they had additional duties and were in a remote area, or the flight was repeatedly delayed due to bad weather in the area, or whatever reason, which underlined the fact that Mum and Dad had not been able to return home. even though their scheduled return had been delayed for a month.
My brother also prevented me from accessing the news and sent me on holiday to stay with our mother's best friend (Aunt Samantha) outside the city we usually visited during the holidays. Until one day I heard the names of my mother and father in a news report about the plane crash victims who were still missing almost a month after the disaster. Unsure about what I had heard, I immediately asked aunt Samantha about mum and dad whereabouts. I wanted to go home to my brother.
I became obsessed with the news of the plane crash on TV, internet and newspapers. I look for my parents' names on the list of victims in every news story I found. From then on I became afraid of planes and never wanted to travel far away. I preferred to stay at home rather than go traveling even in long holiday. until when I got my first job at the age of 22, my brother got a better job offer abroad. I decided to stay and let him leave, living by myself.
"Anna, ...", Sain's voice broke me out of daze,
"Ahh, yes? What's wrong, Sain?' I asked, rubbing my head, which was feeling a little dizzy,
"Are you aware of what you're doing right now?" Sain grumbled, I was stunned and confused by her question.
…
"I just went to pick some vegetables in the back garden and asked you to boil the pasta and make sure it wasn't overcooked. Instead, you threw in our entire supply of pasta. It's been cooked so long it'sformless and unrecognizable. You didn't even notice that the fire in the stove had gone out because the water overflowed the pot," Sain's voice growled even more.
I gasped as I looked at the deformed pasta and the spilled water. I grimaced and looked at Sain pleadingly.
"ANNAAAAAAAA .…"