Alia didn't react to the sudden embrace. She allowed Edith to hug her, quietly listening to her muffled sobs.
Edith was hurting for her—maybe just as much as Alia hurt for herself.
When Alia realized that, she felt a wave of self-loathing. As if being weak wasn't enough, now she was the reason this kind-hearted woman was crying. She had spent years crying, and now she was angry with herself for still being that same fragile girl.
She felt her eyes welling up again. She mourned her own helplessness. Behind the door, she had tried so hard to stay calm, to avoid appearing weak in front of Edith. She had thought all her emotions had been purged. But here she was again—right back where she started. The tears, relentless as ever, were flowing once more.
She hugged Edith back tightly. While part of her mind was screaming out her sorrow, another part was cursing her own weakness.
Was this her fate? Would she never be like him?
Hopelessness...
The face she recalled only deepened her sorrow.
As she held on to Edith, she made a silent vow to herself. This would be the last time.
She would not weep again—for herself, or for anyone else.
And so, she let her grief spill out one final time, soaking Edith's shoulder with silent tears.
--------
"Clap clap."
"hmm..."
"Lady Alia. It's morning."
Alia slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Edith's warm smile. But there was a heaviness behind it—Edith looked tired. As Alia tilted her head upward, she felt a dampness on her face. She had buried her tear-streaked, sniffling face into Edith's chest all night. Now, her face pressed against Edith's dress, soaked with tears, drool, and snot. She had cried like a child the whole night.
"hya.."
Alia suddenly sprang out of bed. Caught off guard, Edith let out a startled sound.
She had thought long and hard about last night's crying. She had promised herself—no more tears. Even if that had been her final cry, she felt she had done it in the most pitiful way possible.
No more weakness, she reminded herself.
"Edith, I'm sorry about last night. I must have troubled you again… like always."
Edith stood up with a refined motion and composed herself. Facing Alia, she instinctively took on the posture of a royal maid.
"It's nothing at all, Lady Alia. Ensuring your well-being is my duty…"
Yet as the words left her mouth, memories from last night surfaced. She had completely lost control—hugging Alia tightly and sobbing uncontrollably. Worse yet, she had caused Alia to cry as well.
Her cheeks flushed with a mix of shame and guilt.
"...I am the one who should apologize, Lady Alia. As a maid, I overstepped my bounds and acted in a way I should not have. Please forgive me."
Alia folded her arms across her chest, her expression serious.
"Of course I forgive you, Edith... but on one condition."
"Whatever your condition may be, Lady Alia, you can rest assured I will fulfill it. Even if it costs me my life."
A faint smile appeared on Alia's face after hearing Edith's bold words.
"From now on, whenever I cry... I want you to slap me."
"What!"
The word burst out of Edith's mouth, completely devoid of her usual professionalism.
"But... Lady Alia..."
"If you want me to forgive you, then you must do this."
Alia cut Edith off sharply. Edith was left speechless, already regretting the bold words she had uttered moments ago.
"You will carry out my order regardless of time or place. It won't matter who we are in front of, or what the situation is."
"But.. but Lady Alia… How could I possibly strike you in front of foreign nobles, Lady Isolde, or even His Majesty? That would be disastrous—for both your dignity and the crown's."
Alia brought her hand to her chin and thought for a moment. Edith had a point. "A slap—especially in front of the royalty—could easily be misconstrued, and the consequences would be disastrous for both her and the royal family." And since Edith would be the one delivering the blow, it could even lead to her execution.
For a moment, Alia realized her own carelessness and shallowness. She knew becoming strong overnight was impossible, but it still saddened her to see how far she had to go.
"Alright. Don't follow my order when Majesties or foreign nobles are around. But you can do it in front of my siblings and acquaintances."
Alia didn't want to give up on this idea. She wanted to face public embarrassment and punishment for showing weakness. She even considered putting the honor of the kingdom on the line. Yet, behaving so selfishly for her own sake would be, at best, despicable.
She decided that limiting the order to her siblings and acquaintances was enough, both for Edith's sake and the kingdom's. Her siblings and acquaintances didn't think very well of her anyway, so it wasn't a big loss. Since she was seen as a weakling in the palace, it wouldn't cause much trouble. Isolde might even be pleased by this. As for Edith, she believed she could handle that situation through conversation.
"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you. I take full responsibility. I will handle the witnesses myself."
Alia's gaze was firm and unwavering, her brows drawn together in resolve. Edith was at a loss for how to react. The chance of this idea ending badly was quite high.
She crouched down and lowered her head.
"Please, Lady Alia, I beg you to reconsider. What you might lose—and what the entire kingdom could lose—may be irreversible."
Edith remained persistent. She seemed unwilling to give up on rejecting the idea. After her words, she quietly waited on the floor.
"..."
"The conversation is over. You will do as I say, Edith."
For perhaps the first time in her life, Alia gave an order so firmly and authoritatively. After saying the words, she couldn't help but feel guilty under the weight of her own command. What she was doing to someone who had helped her so much was truly unacceptable.. but she believed it was necessary—for both of them.
Alia leaned in slowly, placing her hands on Edith's shoulders. When Edith lifted her head, Alia looked deeply into her eyes.
"I know I'm asking a lot from you, Edith. I'm aware you don't want to do things just to protect me. But I can't go on like this. I have to change."
Edith stared quietly into Alia's eyes. She felt that she should never approve of this idea, but seeing Alia's insistence, she couldn't bring herself to say what she was thinking.
"Edith, do you really trust me so little? There's no guarantee I will fail. Okay, maybe I'm a bit of a crybaby, but don't worry. I swear I won't cry anymore. I want you to trust me."
With these words, Alia only pushed herself further into a corner. Each sentence she spoke made the weight of her promise heavier. There was no turning back now.
"..."
"Alright, Lady Alia... I will carry out your orders."
At last, Edith surrendered. Alia was her weak spot. She couldn't say no to her.
Alia stood up quickly and strode over to her wardrobe. With a sharp motion, she flung the door open and pulled out her usual day dress. Then she turned to Edith and handed it to her.
"Edith… Today, I'll be having my breakfast in the dining hall."
That single sentence was a bold declaration for Alia. For years, she had always eaten alone in her room. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd had breakfast with the rest of her family.