On a flat, moss-covered stone platform nestled deep within the Verdant Wilds, two boars sat like a pair of fat philosophers meditating on bacon.
"Is it that time again?" grunted the older of the two, sniffing the air like he expected it to smell of profit.
The younger one, who was chewing on a thick vine like it was a fine cigar, didn't even blink. "Time of the year? No. Time of five years, dumbo. Lily Pond's blooming again."
The older boar grunted, mildly offended. "Hmph. Don't give a rat's ass about the years. As long as we get our share."
A weird gurgling sound interrupted their boar-ish banter. The source? A coconut with a straw sticking out, held by none other than their bizarre pet-project—a two-year-old wolf cub with a humanoid puppet body and a vertical mouth on his palm.
"Lily Pond? What's the fuss?" the wolf asked, tilting his coconut like a wine glass. "It better not involve me nearly dying again."
The older boar smirked, not hiding the glint of scheming mischief in his eyes. "Oh, it involves you, alright. But you'll live. Probably."
The younger boar nodded sagely. "You'll thank us later. Or curse us. Honestly, both are fun."
The wolf narrowed his eyes. "I haven't even had kids yet."
Both boars turned to him with twitching eyes.
"You're two."
"Years. Old."
"I'm mature for my age," the wolf sniffed, crossing his arms.
"We're seventy-three and still bachelors."
"And you're worried about legacy?"
The wolf raised his nose defiantly. "You don't know my struggles."
They groaned in unison. But there was no time for boar-wolf drama. The Lily Pond was no joke.
---
According to boar lore (which was, admittedly, a mix of drunken rambles and actual history), the Lily Pond was the pride of the Verdant Wilds. Every five years, beneath the sacred tree perched on a lone mountaintop, the pond condensed pure qi into a set of glowing jade lilies. Each was shaped like a perfect blossom, delicate yet radiant, and overflowing with spiritual energy.
Beasts wanted it for cultivation. Humans wanted it for prestige. Girls wanted it because—let's face it—girls liked shiny things.
But the lilies had guardians. Four to be exact. The top dog—or hawk, in this case—was an Order 4 bird named Skyrazor. He had no pact, but he didn't need one. He soared alone, foundation-established and too cool for friends.
Then there was Steel Jaw the hippo. Massive, mellow, and mysteriously fecund. No one knew how many sons he had. Some counted two. Others saw seven. Once, someone claimed he had a football team. He had a wife too, the iron-hearted hippo matriarch, and the family returned from their worldly wanderings every five years to attend the feast.
Next, the Bronze-Kong. A massive ape with a chip on his bronze shoulder. His bloodline was a bit purer than others—just enough to make him annoying. He led a massive gorilla gang who couldn't fight their way out of a banana crate. Numbers, not quality.
And lastly… Crabby.
The boars tried explaining Crabby with straight faces. They failed.
Crabby was a mutated lovechild of a beetle and a crab. No one knew how the union happened. All they knew was he had a pitch-black shell, beetle horns, and a defense skill that let him grow his armor thicker at the cost of qi. He had siblings, all half-beetle, half-crab, and none quite as terrifying as their big brother.
"Can you imagine your mom being a crab and your dad a beetle?" the older boar wheezed with laughter.
"He probably got bullied in school."
"What school? It's a swamp!"
"Still got bullied. Probably by frogs."
The wolf stared, wide-eyed. "Crabby sounds terrifying."
"He is. But he's also the reason we'll win."
The wolf blinked. "Come again?"
---
While the boars polished their insane schemes, far across the forest, four humans from the Nail Strom Sect trudged up the Verdant slopes. Their robes fluttered in the wind, and their leader's chest puffed out with each step.
His name was Lao Ping.
And he was the main character.
At least, in his own head.
"I can feel it," he declared to the empty air. "Today, destiny sings to me!"
Behind him, a quiet girl rolled her eyes. The buff swordsman yawned. The last disciple sneezed.
"Don't you feel it too?" Lao Ping said, eyes sparkling with protagonist energy. "The Qi, the wind, the camera angle—today is the start of my legend!"
"We're literally just looking for lilies, bro."
"You don't understand! The protagonist must collect beautiful treasures to attract beautiful women. It's… fate."
They finally reached the mountaintop and saw it.
The Lily Pond.
A shallow body of pristine water, crystal-clear and untouched. At its heart rose a sacred tree, silver-barked and glowing faintly. From its roots dangled the prize: three glowing jade lilies, trembling with power.
But they weren't alone.
Four powerful beast factions had already arrived. Each group waited on a different side of the mountain top, positioned like mafia bosses at a diplomatic disaster.
Lao Ping's bladder tensed.
But he held firm.
Because he was the main character.
---
Meanwhile, in a cave just below the peak, the boars and the wolf were watching the whole thing through a crack.
"So," the younger boar said, munching on popcorn, "the humans came after all."
"We told you they would," the older boar replied smugly. "Which makes this even more profitable."
The wolf swallowed nervously. "So what's the plan again?"
"Simple," said the older boar, his eyes gleaming with gambling greed. "We bet on who wins. And if they all beat each other up, we sneak in and steal a lily."
"What if someone notices me?"
"Then you act cute."
"I'm not cute."
The boars gave him a once-over.
"You're two. You drink coconut juice. You have a vertical mouth. You're adorable."
The wolf growled. "I'll show you adorable."
---
Back at the pond, things were heating up.
Skyrazor flapped his massive wings once, shaking trees.
Steel Jaw waddled forward, his wives and sons at his flanks.
Bronze-Kong pounded his chest like an insecure drummer.
And Crabby… just stood there, his black shell glowing ominously.
The lilies began to bloom.
Skyrazor screeched.
Steel Jaw bellowed.
Bronze-Kong roared.
Crabby… made a bubbling hiss.
And then—chaos.
Skyrazor dove. Bronze-Kong leapt. Crabby skittered forward with a beetle-crab battle cry. Steel Jaw charged like a freight train with family in tow.
Lao Ping ducked.
The others screamed.
Beasts clashed. Qi surged. The mountain trembled.
And in the middle of it all, two boars and one wolf tiptoed toward the pond.
"Quick! While they're distracted!"
"Don't slip on the moss!"
"What if Crabby sees me?!"
"Then run. Preferably not toward us."
The wolf groaned. "I hate my life."
The pond shimmered in the noonday sun, a still, delicate surface hiding an undercurrent of tension. But for the weird wolf, who now crouched low behind a bush with a squint in his eye and a sigh deep in his chest, the issue was painfully clear—he had no kids yet, and dying here wasn't ideal.
And then there were the four strong weirdos, standing like proud statues on each side of the pond. Behind each of them stood their beast pact companions—the Skyrazor Hawk, the Bronze Kong, Steeljaw Hippo, and the Crabby One. Each eyeing the jade lilies in the center of the pond, radiant and untouched, as if mocking their lust for power.
Skyrazor vs. Bronze Kong – Round One
Skyrazor, wings spread wide, talons shimmering like razors of divine punishment, descended in a burst of screeches. The air cracked around him, feathers slicing wind. Bronze Kong, unshaken, tilted his head with a slow breath, bronze-coated muscles flexing as his massive knuckles ground against the dirt.
Skyrazor darted downward, a missile cloaked in feathers. Kong blinked—slow, deliberate. His left arm rose like a gate forged in ancient storms. The hawk's talons met fist, a clash that shook the trees. Kong didn't flinch. Instead, he smiled.
Skyrazor twisted midair, performing a corkscrew barrel roll, beak aimed for Kong's temple. The ape ducked, rolled sideways, and slammed a tree trunk in retaliation. The hawk dodged, feathers barely singed by bark shrapnel.
A blur. The hawk blinked left, dove right. Kong spun and caught a wingtip midflight. His grip threatened to tear flesh from bone. The hawk screeched and countered, slashing the air with his beak. Kong raised his other arm just in time, earning a shallow gash across his forearm. Blood seeped—blackened bronze ichor, hissing as it touched the ground.
They danced again. Kong used ground-pounding stomps to create shockwaves. Skyrazor skimmed them, performing dives and arcs that made even the boar duo watching from afar raise their brows. A talon struck Kong's shoulder. Kong retaliated with a spinning backhand that would level buildings. He missed—but just barely.
Sweat dripped from Kong's brow, caught midair by Skyrazor's wingtip. They paused for a heartbeat, panting. The crowd of beasts roared at their silent stalemate.
Steeljaw Hippo vs. Crabby One
Meanwhile, the crab and hippo exchanged their own symphony of violence. The hippo, named Steeljaw by his kin, charged with yet another headbutt. His entire skull, reinforced by countless years of evolution and cultivation, met the crab's carapace.
Clang! It echoed like metal striking metal.
The crab, unbothered, flexed his claws—no, his chelipeds—in irritation. Steeljaw backed off, dazed, but not defeated. Blood trickled from his forehead. With a snarl, he leapt forward, only to be sidestepped by the crab.
The crab punched the ground with his right cheliped, creating a geyser of mud and rocks that blinded the hippo. Steeljaw roared, rubbed his eyes with a hoof, then chomped down on the crab's left cheliped in rage. His jaw crunched, and for the first time, the crab shrieked.
But his shell held.
He slapped Steeljaw with his remaining limb, sending him rolling into a tree. But the hippo bounced up, rage glowing in his veins. He stomped the ground, sending mini tremors. The crab prepared a sideways lunge—both collided again, tusks against shell.
Sweat glistened on the crab's shell. Cracks spiderwebbed across his legs. But Steeljaw's strength waned. His stamina bled with each charge. A war of attrition.
Behind them, their pact members clashed in boring, repetitive motions. Even the boars stopped watching.
Two Boars and a Bug Buffet
"I told ya, Crabby would be the key to success," muttered the elder boar as he munched on a fat beetle.
"No, no, no," said the younger. "I said it first. I bet my ear, remember?"
They sat behind a rock, shielded from the wind and explosion debris, laughing softly.
The Fatal Clash: Skyrazor and Kong – Round Two
Skyrazor came from the sky once more, beak aimed directly for Kong's face. Kong lifted his fist, and the two collided.
This time, Skyrazor's beak pierced through Kong's flesh. Blood spilled. Kong grunted, yet grinned. His other arm, massive and veined, swung up and caught Skyrazor by the neck mid-flight.
He squeezed.
Skyrazor flapped madly, eyes wide. The world spun. His talons sliced, his beak tried to pull free. The grip tightened. Kong's blood poured from his palm, but he didn't care. He would kill this hawk, crush it like a fruit.
Then, Skyrazor did something absurd. He gathered the blood from his own beak, aimed it upward, and spat into Kong's eye.
Kong roared, his vision blurred by crimson. His grip loosened for a second. It was enough.
Skyrazor tore himself free and flapped away, blood staining his feathers. His neck throbbed, but he survived.
Chaos Grows
Kong rubbed his eyes. Everything was red. His growl turned into a scream. And he stumbled—backwards—right between the crab and hippo.
Steeljaw, in mid-headbutt, slammed into Kong's side. CRACK!
Kong became a sandwich. Crabby tightened his grip with both chelipeds and yelled, "Quick, kill him now!"
Steeljaw nodded and unleashed headbutt after headbutt. Kong vomited blood. He retaliated with wild punches, striking Crabby's shell repeatedly.
It did nothing.
The fight dragged on. Sun dipped. Moon peeked. Hours passed. Even the bugs hid from the shockwaves.
The Boars No Longer Hide
"Told ya, told ya," elder boar grinned.
"I bet 30 bugs now," said the younger.
Bronze Kong glared at them. His side eye was legendary. It screamed, You will be my dinner.
They ignored it.
The Wolf Appears
At last, the weird wolf stepped forward.
His paws padded softly against the earth. The air grew tense.
"BASTARD! GET AWAY FROM THE JADE LILIES!" Kong screamed.
The air rippled.
Steeljaw and Crabby paused. Their eyes locked. They nodded.
They lunged at the wolf.
Dust spiraled. Sweat dripped from everyone. Blood leaked from Kong's mouth. The pond sparkled behind the wolf.
He jumped.
Not away. Not sideways. But into the pond.
Crabby roared and dove in. Steeljaw followed.
Crabby reached first, aiming to grab the wolf's tail. But the eye on the tail opened. The wolf twisted, dodging like a shadow.
"What the fuck?" Crabby screamed.
"He's got freaky ass eyeballs!" Steeljaw bellowed.
They chased. Wolf twisted, ducked, dodged. Crabby was fast. But wolf was faster.
Steeljaw stomped the pond bottom. The ground trembled.
"What's horny hippo doing now?" muttered elder boar.
"Lost his mind, I bet 20 bugs," said younger.
Kong's eye twitched.
The Crimson Tide
Wolf closed in on the lilies.
Crabby slashed.
Wolf twisted again. This time, he dove beneath the crab. Underbelly exposed.
His claws dug deep. Blood poured.
Crabby screamed. Chelipeds flailed.
Wolf opened his mouths. Each leg was caught by his teeth.
He gnawed into the crab's belly. Tearing. Devouring.
Crabby's shrieks echoed across the pond. Water turned red.
"Damn, he can do that too?" muttered elder boar.
"He's ours, of course," said younger proudly.
Kong glared harder.
The Threat
Steeljaw's stomps had created a crack.
The pond floor trembled. Everyone paused.
Crabby, bleeding, slipped past the wolf. He reached the lilies.
"Let me go or I'll eat them all!" he cried.
Wolf paused.
Crabby grinned.
He reached for a lily. Grabbed one. Tried to run.
Nothing moved.
He looked back. Wolf grinned.
Crabby shivered. Then collapsed.
His body broke. Blood leaked. His eyes stared at the lilies, never blinking again.
The Deal
Steeljaw, still stomping, cracked the pond more.
Elder boar screamed, "Wolf! Eat him too!"
Kong nodded. "He's a damn fool."
Wolf swam toward the hippo. Steeljaw opened his maw wide, aiming to swallow him whole.
Wolf backed off.
"One jade lily, and you stop," he offered.
"Two," Steeljaw snapped.
They argued. Then agreed.
Steeljaw would give ten metal roots. Wolf would give two lilies. The third he kept.
Kong's Conversation
Kong sighed.
He turned to the boars.
"You two. You raised that freak?"
"Yup," elder said.
"He listens to you?"
"More or less."
"I give you a sack of beast marrow and a Sky Flame Pearl. I need one lily."
The boars grinned.
"We'll think about it."
Sweat fell from a bird flying above. It landed on Kong's shoulder.
He sighed again.
Return of the Humans
Far from the chaos, the Nail Strom Sect returned.
Lao Ping walked proudly.
"I told you we should let them battle it out first. We'll come next time."
"Right, brave leader," muttered one disciple.
"Next time we can watch you from the bushes again," another added.
Lao Ping blushed.
"You guys have no vision!"
They all laughed, vanishing into the distance.