I dont know how much time has passed
I've caught myself saying that more times than I can count
Now I find myself in an unfamiliar place even for both lifetimes
The room around me breathes with quiet grandeur, walls of polished marble carved with swirling motifs that tell stories I cannot yet understand
Tall, arched windows draped in heavy velvet curtains filter the sunlight into soft pools of gold, their fabric embroidered with threads of silver and deep blue that shimmer faintly with every slight movement
Beneath my feet, the floor is a mosaic of tiny stones—each placed with care to form a river of color flowing towards a grand hearth that crackles softly, its warmth both comforting and foreign
No hum of machines, no flicker of electric lights—only the crackle of fire and the whisper of ancient air swirling gently through the high vaulted ceilings
The scent of herbs and incense lingers, heavy and grounding, as if the very walls have absorbed centuries of prayers and pain.
I am alone, yet surrounded by the weight of countless forgotten lives
I held my arm up as water dropped on my arm
Am I crying?
The tears came before thought, before breath, before even the light touched my eyes
My chest felt hollow and heavy at the same time
My arms ached
My ribs clenched like they were trying to keep something broken from falling out
"It's my fault…"
The words tore out of me without warning
"It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault—"
I slammed my fists into my forehead, again and again, like I could beat the pain out of my skull
Tears streamed down my face
I couldn't stop them
I didn't want to stop them
The guilt wouldn't leave
The flames were still there
Her voice
His promise
That stupid smile
All of it swallowed whole
Gone
And I was here
Why was I still here?
The tears poured harder
I couldn't breathe
I pressed both hands to my face, curling forward, rocking without realizing it
They were dead
And it was my fault
Both lives—two different versions of grief—flooded through my head like a scream with no end
And I let it happen
Because part of me knew I deserved it
I turned away from the light, shoulders trembling, breaths shallow and uneven
Then a voice broke through the stillness
"Hey bro..."
It was barely a whisper
A flicker of sound that pulled me back like a hook to the chest
I turned my head slowly
There, slouched in the far corner of the room like he'd just been waiting for the world to stop ending,
It was a friend
His posture screamed lazy, but his eyes were sharp and searching
"H-hey"
The word barely came out
I hadn't spoken since waking and my throat felt like gravel
He stood up slowly, walking toward the bed with that same cautious half-smile he wore whenever he didn't know what to say but was pretending he did
"You alright man I heard you lost control of your mana"
"I'm fine"
"You sure"
"Yeah"
"You sure sure? Or am I just imagining the part where you were crying like a baby"
I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve
"I don't need to imagine to know you're an ass"
He laughed, not because it was funny, but because that's how he dealt with things — loudly, and poorly
"Haha hah — whatever man but seriously why were you—"
The curtain suddenly shifted beside us
A soft rustle of linen broke the moment
With a smooth swish, the pale blue fabric was drawn aside, letting in warm sunlight from tall windows I hadn't noticed
The scent of antiseptic and dried herbs wrapped the room like a second skin
Footsteps, measured and sharp, tapped against the tile
A woman entered, coat trailing behind her like a ghost
She looked too composed for someone who probably hadn't slept in two days
Clipboard in one hand
Pen already clicking
"Oh Mr Debount you're awake"
My eyes narrowed slightly against the brightness
"…Yeah"
She stepped closer, gaze clinical, voice detached
"So how do you feel"
"I'm fine"
She raised an eyebrow
"Your body seems fine" she said as she flipped through my chart "Vitals stable, core pressure low, but intact"
She glanced at me again
"I said I'm fine"
"Mhm" she replied without blinking "You were told not to use mana during class so you'll need to head to the register after this for documentation and clearance"
"Quite weird for a second stage to lost control of your mana like that"
I didn't answer
I fiddled with the edge of the blanket like it might protect me from the conversation
"But next time" she said, scribbling without looking up "if you're gonna go berserk or collapse Mr Debount…"
She paused just long enough to be annoying
"…do it when it's not my shift"
A ghost of a smirk tugged at her mouth
"I'm joking Mr Debount"
she added without sounding like she was
She snapped the pen closed and slid the clipboard back into the tray with finality
"You've wasted enough of my time you can leave"
She turned, halfway through the curtain, then paused and looked back
Her eyes lingered just a second longer than necessary
Then she vanished
Riven let out a low whistle
"Man she likes you"
"Shut up"
"Let's go bro your imaginary girlfriend's probably worried sick"
"You sure it's not your imaginary girlfriend"
"Always with the comeback huh alright alright you win I'll just set you up with someone I met earlier, real classy, her name's George "
I ran a hand through my hair groaning
"Let's just get out of here before I have Ms Lazy ripped my eye balls out from your bullshit"
"It's not bullshit"
Riven said proudly
"it's called wisdom"
We stepped into the hallway — me dragging my feet, him walking like this was just another Tuesday
We reached the fork near the end
Riven slowed, turned toward his wing
"Hey"
I looked at him
"You're really okay right"
I nodded once
"Yeah"
He studied me for a second
Then shrugged
"Yeah yeah whatever you say"
He grinned, gave a lazy two-finger salute, and walked away
And for the first time that day
I didn't feel like I was completely falling apart