The royal council chamber was filled with the usual aroma of incense, old scrolls, and pure, unfiltered bullshit.
Kazriel sat lazily in his seat, legs crossed, swirling his wine like he was bored at a circus show. Aria sat beside him, elegant as ever—but there was a small, amused smile playing at her lips.
The council members began their usual song and dance.
"Lord Kazriel, we must speak about your… uncouth behavior toward fellow nobles."
Kazriel tilted his head, sipping the wine.
"Uncouth? That's rich coming from a man who combs his hair with bacon grease and still thinks powdered wigs are a flex."
Gasps echoed.
A noble stood up, red-faced. "You dare insult a viscount—?!"
Kazriel cut him off, voice dangerously calm.
"You mean the viscount who pissed himself when a goblin screamed too loud last winter? Sit down before your wig slides off in shame."
The room tensed. Aria tried—and failed—to suppress a laugh.
Another noble chimed in. "This is no way to speak before the royal council!"
Kazriel leaned forward with a wide grin.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I use smaller words? Maybe rhyme a nursery line to help your three remaining brain cells keep up?"
Even the emperor chuckled behind his hand.
But then one of the older ministers, self-important and sagging under the weight of his own ego, muttered under his breath.
"His fiancée's just a commoner with a fancy dress…"
Kazriel's face dropped into a cold smile.
He stood.
"Say. That. Again."
The room went still.
"Go on," Kazriel said, walking down the hall like a predator. "Repeat it, and I swear on every holy, unholy, and mildly chaotic being in this realm—"
"—I'll bury your entire bloodline so deep even your ancestors will get vertigo."
The minister paled and shut his mouth so fast his dentures clicked.
Then Kazriel turned to the emperor, who merely raised a brow.
Before Kazriel could speak—
The Emperor stood up.
"Shut the fuck up."
Every noble blinked.
"Kazriel is my greatest commander. He's like my younger brother. His fiancée is my cousin and more noble than all your inbred lineages combined."
He paused, looking around.
"So if anyone here thinks they can open their rotten, worm-infested mouth and insult them again…"
He took off his crown, slamming it on the table.
"…get the fuck out of your noble position and apply for jester, because that's clearly the only job your ass was born for."
Silence.
Aria sipped tea with grace. "I like him when he's angry," she murmured.
Kazriel sat back down, cracking his neck.
"Well, that was fun. Anyone else wanna be verbally set on fire?"
No one spoke.
Even the stone statues looked scared.