The endless white dunes of Hueco Mundo stretched on forever, and boredom was reaching critical levels. The 4 idiots had already arm-wrestled a dead tree, Yammy was still sulking from his Spike o Sensei humiliation, and Aizen kept dramatically standing on sand mounds while Kukkapūro napped on his head.
I finally had enough.
"GRUAAHH!"
[Translation: Field trip. Human World. Now.]
Baraggan sighed, pushing up his crown like a weary teacher on a field trip.
"He says we're going to the human world. Everyone get your dumb faces ready."
The Bone Circle howled in delight.
—
[Human World — Karakura Town, Night]
A garganta split open in the middle of a park. Out stomped me, towering but noticeably smaller than Yammy, Koufang and the four idiots who moved with heavy, earth-shaking steps behind me. Aizen followed, Kukkapūro still asleep on his head, and Baraggan floated nearby like a grumpy bat.
The night air was still, the sky dark, streetlights flickering in the distance. No humans noticed. Couldn't see us. No one spiritually aware in sight. Which made it perfect.
I squinted at the boring peacefulness.
"GRUOHH?"
[Translation: Where's the chaos?]
Baraggan translated with a yawn.
"He says it's too quiet. He's disappointed."
Yammy stretched his massive arms.
"I wanna punch a car anyway."
"I wanna steal a duck." Edrad added, eyes scanning the dark pond.
"Ducks? There better be ducks!" Yylfordt
demanded.
But all that greeted us was an empty park, a vending machine glowing quietly near a bench.
I stomped over to the vending machine.
"GRUOHH!"
[Translation: Behold. Human treasure.]
Aizen, trying to keep his cool guy act, casually woofed and gestured to Kukkapūro. The tiny puppy hopped down, pressed the soda button with his paw, and a can of orange soda clunked out.
Even if no human could see us, the sight of Kukkapūro using modern tech made the Bone Circle lose it.
"HE'S A GENIUS!" Nakeem howled.
"A true commander!" Di Roy cheered.
Baraggan groaned, slouching deeper in his floating bone throne.
"We're gonna get erased by the Soul King at this rate."
Grimmjow appeared out of the garganta last, scowling like always.
His eyes gleamed with hunger.
"If only I could see Shinigami here... I'd finally get a real meal."
I grinned wide.
"GRUAHAHAH!"
[Translation: No rules, no witnesses. Perfect.]
Yammy ripped open a trash can and triumphantly lifted out a perfectly intact sandwich someone had thrown away.
"This place rules!"
A jogger ran past, not noticing the dozen towering Adjuchas standing right next to him. The Bone Circle stood frozen. The guy passed by clueless and kept jogging.
Yammy scratched his head.
"Huh. Humans are weird."
I grunted.
+2,000 EP for causing harmless chaos unseen
Current EP: 89,21,000 / 100,000,000
Aizen, ever the poser, sipped soda through a straw Kukkapūro held up, refusing to look at Grimmjow but definitely flexing his cool points.
Grimmjow scowled.
"Still a clown."
Aizen gave a soft "Woof."
Meaning: Yeah, but cooler than you.
I pointed at the small human town in the distance.
"GRUAAH!"
[Translation: Onward, idiots — to the convenience store we can't be seen in!]
Baraggan sighed again.
"He says… we're hitting a store. Somehow."
The Bone Circle charged, unseen by all but themselves, ready to mildly inconvenience the human world in the most idiotic way possible.
Hueco Mundo would have to wait.