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CHAPTER 12.5 - A Weird Dream.
The E plan, the burial plan for the idiot who chases rabbits like a moron. It consists of completely burying me in a hole. We already did a test, and yes, I can survive without oxygen, or something like that. I endured being fully buried for 5 minutes, but since we couldn't delay the trip any longer, we left the research for later.
We have plans A, B, C, D, E, and F to contain my zombie self. Kiasan decided to use plan E because… because… what?! What if the pressure kills me?! We haven't researched enough! We should've used plan B instead!
"Hehe. Will he be able to survive? I'm looking forward to the result," said the fairy girl.
I can't talk; I'm too exhausted! No, no, don't bury me!
Ugh, they threw dirt on me, and I ended up completely buried. Please, let this work!
•
•
(Pov - Kiasan.)
A little more… Done, I removed the dirt covering his head.
"Waah…"
The others moved away from here; it's safe for your head to be free.
I patted his head. He's fully turned into a zombie now. I wonder what it feels like to be a zombie, a zombie that loses its reason. Do they really act on pure instinct? How can they regenerate? How does magic work in our bodies? We have so much to investigate, Zei. The good thing is we have all the time in the world.
Magic coursing through our bodies, abilities, immunity to zombies. Our only enemies are magical monsters, but if we become stronger, no enemy will stop us.
"O-Our… j-journey… h-has just begun!"
Ah, ah… I lost my breath. Why is it so hard to talk? Saying a few simple words drains so much energy, like I ran nonstop for half an hour. One more thing to add to our research.
I put my finger in his mouth and stroked his teeth. No reaction. I'm not tasty to you, huh? What a great double-entendre joke. I'll save it to use later; I want to see him get nervous or laugh.
My ghostly body was very well-developed, but now I'm a little girl. It feels so weird.
Mmm… How cute, he has small fangs. Do I have them too…? Yes, I do, and mine are a bit bigger than his. Is it because I'm 100% zombie and he's some kind of special zombie? Well, well, another thing to investigate.
I have the teeth of a predator… Mmm… Now that I think about it, I don't remember my life. I don't have memories from when I was alive, but I have a lot of general knowledge. I know lions exist, but I've never seen one. Why do I know so much but can't remember anything from my life when I was alive? It's like those memories are blocked, and I can only recall information like animal names and stuff. Ah, we're both strange beings, aren't we, Zei?
Huh? He's licking my finger. Is he hungry? He stopped; he just gave it a few small licks but quickly lost interest.
He's not trying to eat me… I really am a zombie too, but I don't fully turn into a zombie when I sleep, or rather, I don't lose my reason. How strange… Is it because I was a ghost before? Maybe I'm not a zombie but a ghost controlling a zombie's body. Does that mean I could control other zombies? Maybe I could enter an Orc's body and use it as a weapon. That's too good to be true. Besides, Zei's magical familiar is the zombie girl, and I was forced to enter her because she had no soul. I must be chained to this body for that reason. Better not get my hopes up about switching bodies.
And speaking of bodies… Well, well. I must admit Zei is very handsome. If his eyes had color, he'd be even cuter; those dead eyes are scary, though they have their charm too.
Ah, I almost forgot why I came here.
"W-We… b-buried… S-Sato… M-Mary d-doesn't h-hate you… b-but… th-the c-cyclops g-girls… h-hate you."
I tried to explain to them that it wasn't your fault, but they wouldn't listen. Now I have to protect you so they don't try to kill you. Those girls are adorable but dangerous. One of them was already planning how to kill you.
That's why I'm here, to prevent it. If those girls get close, and considering the great strength you showed against the goblins, you might break free and attack them. If you kill them, the magical women will kill you.
This is just the start of our adventure, Zei. Will worse things await us, or will we find peace? But whatever happens, as long as I'm with you, I know we'll get through it, together.
I hope my body can develop or evolve, so… Ah, better not get my hopes up.
"T-Take."
I pulled out the Orc and giant goblin's brains and hearts from my backpack. The Elf refused to give me the Orc parts, saying they were hers since she killed it, but the fairy girl got interested in how this would affect your body when I explained you absorb abilities by eating monsters. It didn't work with the Mermaid, but since you fought these monsters, it might work. Thanks to the fairy girl, I got them. In fact, she's hiding, watching us from a distance. I wonder if she's a magical scientist or something; she seems very interested in the results.
"T-The g-good thing… i-is… th-that… y-you d-didn't… d-damage… th-the heart."
The goblin's heart was intact; you killed it by destroying its eyes. I already wrote its weakness in my notebook, don't worry.
I offer him the goblin's brain, and he takes bites. How cute, it's like feeding a baby. He doesn't eat savagely; he eats calmly. Mouth open, but calmly. Is it because he doesn't feel adrenaline? I need to note that in my notebook.
…Zei reacted and hit himself to avoid attacking Mary. Aren't they two different people? How much does the 100% zombie Zei share with the normal Zei? Zei didn't remember anything before regaining his memories, so he hit himself unconsciously.
What makes you special? Why you? There must be a reason behind your mutation. Hey, another thing for the research. I'll note it later.
•
•
(Pov - Zei.)
A dream. I'm dreaming. Definitely dreaming.
"Want something to eat?"
Ah… I'll go with it.
"No, thanks, Mom."
When Sara or Sakura came to my house to study, my mom always did the same thing. She'd come into my room every 10 minutes to make sure we were studying and not doing perverted stuff.
I wasn't worried because the perverted stuff happened at Sara's house.
Ever since my mom found out I wasn't a virgin, she kept a close eye on me. She didn't like the idea of her son doing those things. She'd joke that she didn't want to be a grandma while still so young, but I know she didn't want her first grandchild born to separated parents. She trusted me, knew I'd never abandon my child's mother (if I had one) like my dad did to her, but she was afraid something similar might happen. That's why she insisted I be very sure about my relationship before having sex.
Ah, if only I'd listened. Sara cheated on me.
Thanks for worrying so much about your dumb son. You don't need to worry anymore; I'm a zombie, I can't have sex. Ugh.
"Zei, can you explain this part?"
Sara hugged my arm and pointed to a part of the book.
…To be honest, I hate Sara. Yes, I admit it, I've had a lot of sex in my life. One-night stands with lots of girls, and a few older women who didn't care that I was underage. I'm an easy guy, but I've always been faithful, never cheated on my girlfriends. That's why Sara's betrayal hurt so much. If she wanted to have sex with me, she could've just asked, but no, she made me fall for her, slept with me, and then cheated. Damn bitch. That's why I love older women; they know what they want!
I've had three girlfriends in my life.
My first girlfriend, my childhood friend. Heh, that sounds so otaku. She broke up with me because she was moving away, and we wouldn't see each other anymore. I wanted to stay her boyfriend, but she didn't want a long-distance relationship.
My second girlfriend was a nympho. She only dated me because, in her words, I was hot and she wanted to sleep with me. At first, I thought she was sweet and kind, so I agreed to date her, but she was addicted to sex. Really addicted. She practically raped me on the first day of our relationship. I dated her for three weeks until I got tired and broke up with her. I wanted a healthy relationship. I wanted dates, studying together, and other cliché stuff, but she only saw me as a sex toy. There were other factors, but I'd rather not think about her anymore.
And my third girlfriend, Sara, cheated on me.
…
…
…
I have shitty luck, don't I?
The only girl worth it moves away.
My second girlfriend was probably sleeping with others.
Sara cheated on me. At least I found out in time.
And now I'm a zombie, I can't have sex anymore. My only girlfriend will be my hand for the rest of my life.
…What shitty luck.
I trained my body and got in shape to make a sweet, kind girl fall for me (specifically some desperate, single mature woman), but my luck with women is crap.
Sakura, my best friend, I think she liked me. She fit the description of the girl I was looking for perfectly (except for being a hot 35+ mature woman, but nobody's perfect). I never tried anything with her because I genuinely enjoyed being her friend, just her friend. I didn't see the need for us to be more. I never wanted to have sex with her or kiss her. She was truly too pure for me; I didn't want to ruin her. And in the end, it turned out she might've liked me because she kissed me.
And what happened when I realized a girl as pure as Sakura had fallen for me? When I was planning to ask her out, the zombie apocalypse started!
My luck is shit! Ahhhhhhhhh!!
"Ugh, get away from me."
I moved away from Sara and looked around my room, analyzing every detail. It's identical, and… yeah, my body feels like I'm awake.
Mmm. Sara froze, not even blinking. Did my brain realize I don't want to talk to her?
Everything feels so real… Heh. I wonder if…
"Let's see."
I unbuttoned her blouse and took it off. Red bra, one of my favorites. I'd forgotten how big your breasts were, almost the size of my head.
…Nothing, little buddy? It's not waking up.
What if I do this?
I unhooked her bra, exposing her breasts. Her areolas are huge. If her breasts are the size of my head, her areolas are the size of my fist, maybe even bigger.
…Nothing. It's not waking up, and I don't even feel turned on looking at them.
Her nipples are hidden, so I started sucking her breasts to bring them out.
Same softness, same taste, same sensation, but… I don't feel turned on. I stroked her nipples… Nothing.
Ugh…
"Who am I kidding?"
I can't forget the pain.
I left my room and went to the kitchen, where my mom was preparing our lunches in case we changed our minds. So kind.
"Oh, son, good that…"
She froze because I don't want to hear her. I need time to process this; I'm not ready to talk to her.
"I know this isn't real. Maybe I'll never have a normal life again…"
Kiasan appeared in front of me, taking my mom's place. Yeah, brain, I know. I'm not alone.
"I lost my family and friends, but now I have someone I need to protect."
I patted Kiasan's head, and everything around me turned white.
"And I won't fail her."
"So pathetic."
Huh? I don't know that voice.
I turned around. Who's that? An old man dressed as a butler, sitting at a table, drinking something from a cup. Long hair down to his shoulders, very gray, a well-groomed beard, and a mustache that matches his outfit nicely. Wow, and he's ripped, with a sturdy body. And the most interesting part, his eyes are completely black. So edgy.
"Such French elegance, old man. Are you my guardian angel or my conscience? Here to give me life advice so I don't get depressed? Alright, let's chat. Mary's son's death really hurts, and…"
"Shut up."
…Huh?
"I don't want to hear a crybaby."
"Hey, you're terrible at your job. Keep this up, and they'll fire you. Oh, you'll be a poor unemployed angel, selling your ass on the streets to have something in your stomach, besides the semen in your butt. Hahahahahaha!"
He sighed and kept drinking his tea or coffee, showing no reaction to my fantastic sexual joke.
"Come on, don't be a grump, old man. Give me a little smile."
I walk up to him and force him to smile using my fingers.
"Oh, you look so sexy smiling, old man. You're getting me all hot and bothered. Use the power of my imagination to summon a couple of MILFs!"
"Immature and annoying. So disappointing."
"Hey, that's harsh."
I mess up his hair with my hands.
"Life's so beautiful, no reason to be a bitter old man whose dick doesn't work…! Well, not that beautiful with zombies, Orcs, rapist goblins, and annoying flat-chested Elves, but at least we're alive! Or, in my case, half-alive. And in your case, alive in my mind. Ahhhhhhhhh! Now I'm confused!"
"Stupid too. A failure in every sense."
"Heh. At least I'm hot. Don't be jealous of my beauty. In fact, I give you permission to dream about me, baby. Want a kiss?"
"Get lost."
Oh, wow. He pushed me, and I went flying. It didn't hurt, but I felt it. My mind is so awesome, just like its owner. Heh.
Is he the representation of the guilt I feel? Come on, bring it! I can take it! Tell me more hurtful things!
"You're not worth it yet. I hope you improve. Goodbye, trash."
Everything around me turned black and vanished.
Well, well… I have no fucking clue what just happened.