"I'm just a security guard, guarding peace in Konoha..." Nara Kazuki crouched atop a tree branch, humming a little tune in his head like a patrolman on duty.
After visiting Shisui's place two days ago, Kazuki had returned to his ANBU work. This time, though, he wasn't sent out on any reconnaissance missions, nor dispatched to Amegakure. Minato had assigned their unit to internal defense—guard duty inside the Hidden Leaf.
Normally, this kind of job meant standing at the village gate like a proper gatekeeper. But since that sort of work was usually sent to the mission board, Kazuki and his squad had been deployed to the southeastern quadrant of Konoha instead.
Shisui and Itachi were stationed on the flanks, while this sector was Kazuki's to manage.
It was calm—almost too calm. These days, few had the guts or stupidity to sneak into the Hidden Leaf just for fun.
"I remember... something was supposed to happen not long after Hinata was born..." Kazuki's eyes narrowed as a piece of canon floated to the top of his thoughts. It was from a movie, not the main timeline—still, it stood out.
Ōtsutsuki Toneri. That was the name.
Kazuki glanced up. The sky was still bright; the moon hadn't risen yet. In that movie, Toneri—descendant of Hamura, the Sage's brother—had descended from the moon, looking to marry into the Hyūga clan.
More specifically, he had his eye on Hyūga Hinata, drawn to the purity of her Byakugan. He'd retreated afterward, planning to return and claim his chosen bride when she'd come of age.
Kazuki remembered watching that plot unfold with the expression of an old man on the subway discovering mobile internet. He'd wanted to grab Toneri by the collar and yell, "If you really want Hinata as your little wife, then you'd better stick by her side! Distance doesn't just make the heart grow fonder—it also makes it grow horns."
Those cautionary tales were everywhere:
"Sorry, I was jogging earlier, so I'm a bit out of breath."
"Missed you... wanna hear me?"
"I'm so bored without you... had to play with some little toys."
It was enough to make a man lose faith in love entirely. Maybe that's why people avoided relationships altogether nowadays—too many horror stories, too many heartbreaks. Emotional fidelity was harder to come by than a perfect S-rank mission.
Toneri should count his blessings that Naruto was a shōnen manga—a hot-blooded, idealistic one. If it had been even slightly darker in tone, he might have come back to find Hinata already a mother of two.
Still, Kazuki always found that plotline a bit suspect. It felt like the whole movie was written just to give Naruto and Hinata a reason to finally hook up.
"Problem is, I can't remember when that guy was supposed to show up..." Kazuki scratched his head. Toneri had brought an accomplice too, if he remembered correctly. Their strength? Unknown, but probably formidable.
Not that he really cared.
What Kazuki did care about was whether sacrificing Toneri could earn him more free proficiency points from Nyarlathotep.
He'd been grinding clone-based training endlessly. His scalp itched just thinking about it. And now he had the Flame Demon Aspect to level up—twelve thousand proficiency points to max it out. Utterly suffocating.
Kazuki drifted into a daze. This whole guard assignment was boring as hell. Most of the time, there was nothing to do but—
"Hm?" Kazuki spotted two people—a man and a woman. They looked like a married couple, dressed plainly, like your average Konoha civilians.
They were carrying baskets, apparently out foraging for mushrooms.
Konoha's outskirts were forested, and the recent damp weather had made it ideal for wild fungus to grow. Mushrooms—technically called "wild mycelium" back in his old world—were common this time of year.
Even though they looked harmless, Kazuki stayed alert.
He kept hidden in the treetop and observed them closely. They chatted about domestic trivia—groceries, vinegar, tea. The woman complained about how annoying the Uchiha clan was, and how just seeing them ruined her mood.
The man glanced around nervously and whispered for her to shut up.
Kazuki didn't say a word. He just watched.
Only when the pair gathered some shiitake and other mushrooms and finally left did he shift his gaze.
Still cautious, he jumped down from the tree. He wanted to inspect the area where they'd been digging—just in case. There had been instances in the past of fields being used to pass intelligence.
"Hm?"
In the grass, Kazuki spotted a small white snake. Startled, it snapped at him—but Kazuki's reflexes were too fast. The snake missed, then tried to slither away.
Without hesitation, Kazuki drew his blade.
A clean stroke. The snake was severed mid-body.
He stomped on its head for good measure, then checked the remains. No hidden scrolls or explosive tags—still, he kept the carcass.
Might as well roast it later.
He would've preferred snake stew, but the conditions didn't allow it. Grilled snake was a solid backup—so long as it was cooked thoroughly enough to kill off any parasites.
"Captain." Shisui crouched on a branch nearby, greeting him casually.
"What is it?" Kazuki asked, grinding the snake's head into mush beneath his foot and continuing his search.
After all, finding intelligence was a huge credit booster. And while he had plenty of jutsu now, more was never a bad thing. If nothing else, jutsu could be traded for ryo, for property, even for rare tools.
"It's lunch time. I brought sushi—want some?" Shisui offered a hand-pressed nigiri roll.
Kazuki shook his head.
He hated cold sushi. The texture just didn't sit right.