Chapter 66 - Covered in Ash (9)
The deer hunt was a failure.
They spent an entire day hiding and waiting, and again from dawn until noon the next day, but didn't even catch a glimpse of one.
Maybe the deer had caught their scent.
"Ugh, I really don't want to go back."
Robert, returning to the camp empty-handed, was surprised at just how much he didn't want to return to the warm, comfortable Grimman mansion.
Part of him didn't want to leave this new experience behind and go back to his normal routine, but what really stung was their failure to hunt a deer.
If they'd caught one, he could have gone home feeling like a champion.
"We're out of food. If we don't manage to hunt something by dinner, we'll have to go hungry."
"I really don't like the sound of that."
When Ernest announced this while packing up, Marie immediately shook her head in distaste.
"Or you could always stay behind by yourself, Robert. I could lend you a gun just in case—but what do you think?"
"Well, you know, I was just saying. It's not like we can stay out here forever."
Fortunately, since the kids still couldn't let go of their hopes and set out for another deer hunt at dawn, Haires had started methodically breaking down the tents and packing their gear. Thanks to his preparations, they'd be able to leave the cold, wintry forest soon enough.
"First thing I'm doing is taking a hot bath. I feel so grimy."
"At least it's winter—it would've been unbearable in summer."
"So what are we supposed to do, then?"
"Wipe yourself off with a damp cloth, or just deal with it."
"Ugh. By the way, what should we have for dinner?"
"I'm heading home as soon as we get back today."
"Why? Let's eat together!"
"Don't you think it'd be better if you rushed home, too? Your parents must be waiting for you."
"Oh, right."
Robert, who had only literally passed the message on to his parents, now cursed his past self and regretted it.
Just a few days ago, he'd wondered why he needed permission when he could just ask for forgiveness.
But now that the time for forgiveness had come, he realized that if he had just gotten permission, he wouldn't have to beg for forgiveness at all, and that thought gave him a headache.
On the way back, just like when they'd set out, they rode horses.
Marie, dozing off as she clung to Ernest's waist, nearly fell off, but fortunately, Ernest and Drek reacted quickly, so no accident happened.
"Mr. Krieger, would it be all right if I just stayed at your house tonight?"
"…I don't think it's all that wise to keep putting it off just because you're afraid of getting in trouble with your parents."
"That's because you're Ernest's father, right? But I'm not Ernest, and you're not my dad, Mr. Krieger. I just know I'm going to get scolded badly—how am I supposed to go home calmly?"
"You knew you'd get in trouble, but you did it anyway, didn't you?"
"I know. Ugh, why did I even do that? Oh, by the way, Mr. Krieger, you didn't go hunting at all, did you? You just stayed at the camp by yourself—weren't you bored? And you're the one who taught Ernest how to ride, right? Ernest rides amazingly well. Could you maybe teach me some equestrian skills too? Oh, right, where did you get Drek? I want to ride a gentle, mild-mannered horse like Drek. The horse I have is called Bereter, and let me tell you, he lives up to his name—he's a real sneaky traitor. Honestly, when I first met him, his temper was so bad, he nearly killed me! And it kept happening, again and again! But Ernest was able to ride that traitorous bastard from the very first meeting. That's why, during the Silver Horseshoe Tournament, Ernest rode Bereter in the final race, and right from the start, it was just…."
"..."
Unlike on the way there, Robert clung to Haires's waist, chattering nonstop until Haires finally decided to stay silent.
Horribly enough, even though Haires wasn't responding, Robert enthusiastically kept talking all by himself.
Haires concluded it would be best to send this cheerful little friend of Ernest's back home as quickly as possible.
No wonder Ernest seemed to be talking a lot more than before.
This kid was the real culprit.
As soon as they returned to Grimman, Haires headed straight for the nearest Oliver Trading Company branch and dropped Robert off.
While Ernest chatted with Robert, making plans to meet again, Haires lingered at a distance, savoring the quiet.
Even with so many people bustling and talking in the street, it still felt quieter than when Robert was chattering away alone.
"Bye! See you next time! Marie, too! Mr. Krieger!"
Robert waved his hand wildly, bidding farewell to everyone, but Ernest was the only one who waved back.
Marie was fast asleep from exhaustion, and Haires, eager to escape that noisy little rascal as soon as possible, turned his head away and ignored him.
After a few days away, the Krieger family returned home and, as usual, started organizing the camping gear first.
They washed and scrubbed anything dirty, shook out the tents outside and spread them wide to dry thoroughly.
Marie slept very soundly.
Marie only woke up after Ernest had gone to wash and Haires came to wake her.
"Marie Fiders."
"Yes?"
At that firm voice, Marie, who had been softly purring in her sleep like a cat, jolted awake and opened her eyes wide.
She scrambled up from the sofa, nearly tripping since she wasn't fully awake yet.
As Marie looked up at him, eyes half open, Haires spoke in a low voice.
"It's time to return the Balt Battery."
Only then did Marie begin struggling out of her thick clothes.
She slipped her hand between the buttons of her shirt, took out the Balt Battery she had carried for days, and returned it to Haires.
With a sense of loss, Marie felt as if she had turned back into a powerless, useless dead weight.
"Well done. Rest up."
"…Yes."
But the moment Haires said that, Marie felt deeply relieved—not like she was a weak little kid again, but rather like a soldier who had completed a mission and was now taking a well-earned rest.
"Don't speak of this to anyone."
Haires tucked the Balt Battery into his jacket and whispered.
Marie nodded with a resolute look.
After that, the Krieger family wrapped up their day as usual.
"Since you got plenty of sleep on the way back, let's make up for the studying you missed."
"…."
Which meant Ernest had her studying until dinner.
And after dinner, though Ernest allowed her to play with fabric, thread, and needles, Marie was so tired she fell asleep right away.
Marie had a dream. Inside a cramped tent where the campfire crackled and burned, she spent the day surrounded by people who weren't technically family, but felt just like one.
"Let's study."
"N-no way!"
"Tell me what 6 times 12 is!"
"Aaaah...!"
"Hurry up! If you don't, I'm taking away every single needle!"
"No, please!"
Even in her dream, Ernest would grab Marie as she tried to escape, sit her down, and shove those cursed math problems at her, making her break out in a cold sweat and groan in frustration—but it wasn't all bad. …Probably.
When Ernest woke up in the morning and greeted Marie, she only responded with a wary look.
He had no idea why, so it felt seriously unfair.
The weather has really warmed up—a steady rain is falling now instead of snow.
Sitting on the sofa in front of the House Krieger living room fireplace, Marie watched the rain drizzle down outside.
The weather may have warmed up and rain is falling now, but getting caught in the rain is far more dangerous than getting caught in the snow. Snow can just be brushed off, but rain soaks your clothes and your body, stealing your warmth in an instant. Even if Marie had somehow managed to survive the snowy winter on the streets, had she been caught in this rain, she would've wound up frozen stiff and dead by the very next day.
Back then, she really didn't know what she was thinking, doing something so reckless.
Actually, that's not true—she did know.
She did it from a place of despair.
She'd wanted to avoid and run away to solve her problems, but deep down, she thought maybe it would be better to just die.
Even so, the reason Marie hadn't given up back then was because of that rough little dress tucked safely in the bag she kept clutched to her chest.
She'd lost it when she fainted while wandering the streets, but even so, Marie knew she could never, ever forget that pitiful dress.
"Are you done?"
As Marie stared absentmindedly out the window, Ernest, passing through the living room, asked her.
"Not yet…"
Marie shook her head slightly, then lowered her eyes and began sewing again.
What she was working on was her own dress—not daily clothes, but a dress she had dreamed of, one she was making for herself.
The fabric came from Ernest's childhood clothes. There were quite a few spare pieces, so besides what Marie had already altered for her everyday wear, she could use some for this.
But not all the clothes were made from the same fabric, so the material she could actually use was very limited.
On top of that, Marie had never been taught how to sew, so even in her own eyes, what she was making was hardly something you could call a dress without embarrassment.
Still, she was doing her best to imitate, however clumsily, the sewing techniques she'd seen on the fancy clothes Ernest used to wear, so at least the stitched parts looked somewhat decent.
After focusing intently for quite some time, Marie glanced around carefully, then hastily ducked behind the back of the sofa to try on the dress she'd been working on.
In truth, she did this every time she finished sewing a part.
Without a mirror, she craned her neck, twisting this way and that to get a look at herself.
She turned to try and see her back, but since she couldn't, she spun around and around in place.
"..."
"..."
Just like a puppy chasing its own tail, she spun in circles until she suddenly locked eyes with Ernest.
Her face flushed bright red as she shrank back and quickly hid behind the sofa's back.
"Do you want some help?"
"…Yeah."
When Ernest asked, Marie answered softly and then slowly came out again. Ernest fetched a hand mirror from his room and held it up so Marie could see herself.
"It's a mess."
"It really is."
"..."
When Ernest answered firmly, fully agreeing with Marie's comment, she fiddled with the dress, looking a little glum. Ernest glanced at Marie for a moment. If Teacher Robert had seen this scene just now, he would have been terribly disappointed in Student Ernest for not considering Marie's feelings before blurting out his remark, but at least he might have been somewhat relieved to see Ernest trying to read the mood now.
"Hold the back for me."
"Where?"
"The weird part."
After a moment, as Marie looked into the mirror Ernest held, she spoke quietly. Ernest quickly understood what she meant and held the odd, bunched-up, or twisted part at the back of the dress. When Marie handed him a pin, Ernest carefully pinned the spot to mark it.
"..."
"Shall we go?"
"Okay."
When Marie stared at him, Ernest put down the hand mirror and went back into his room.
Marie quickly changed her clothes and began thinking about how to alter the dress, following the pins Ernest had placed.
If someone had even just taught her the basics of dress patterns, she wouldn't have struggled so much to make this. Still, Marie found the whole process deeply enjoyable, and because she understood her own situation well, the idea of learning sewing from someone else had never even occurred to her.
Marie had clung to that shabby dress all winter.
She'd stitch it, then rip it out, only to mend it again, so the fabric had grown worn and frayed, and she had to patch it with other pieces of cloth.
Marie finished the dress before spring arrived and before she left for the Military Academy.
But what she completed was nothing more than a rough, clumsy patchwork of mismatched fabrics.
"..."
Looking at herself in that ragged dress using the hand mirror Ernest had simply given her, Marie blushed a little and smiled softly.
Even if it was a mess, she didn't mind.
This was the first dress she had ever made with her own hands.
Even if she could never leave the army for as long as she lived, at least in this one moment she felt free.
After finishing the dress, Marie wore it only twice.
Once, right after she finished it, to see herself in the mirror.
The other time was when Robert came to visit House Krieger, so she could show everyone.
Haires said nothing at all.
Robert, for his part, went out of his way to praise it, insisting it was the most beautiful dress, even though Marie herself could see it was a ruin.
"You worked really hard on it."
Ernest didn't compliment Marie's skill or the dress itself, but rather praised her effort.
Wearing the patchwork dress she'd pieced together, as shabby and chaotic as herself, Marie hid behind a pillar and recalled the noblewomen she had first seen in the banquet hall.
She must have smiled just a little at the memory.
After that, with Haires's permission, Marie folded the tattered dress carefully and placed it in a box, then set it in a corner of House Krieger's underground storage room.
And until the day she left for the Military Academy, Marie never took the dress out again.
Other than mending the Krieger men's clothes, she never once picked up a needle.
"Are you not going to make any more clothes?"
A few days before she headed back to the Military Academy, Ernest asked her that question.
For the first time in her life, Marie looked at him with an expression she'd never made before.
Blushing like a shy girl, she gave a soft, bashful smile—and said nothing.
Ernest understood the meaning behind that smile.
So he couldn't bring himself to urge Marie to keep making clothes.
She had lived in utter misery until she was admitted to the Military Academy, and after enrolling, she was doomed to wander the battlefield as a soldier until her death.
Yet in this small house, she had managed to fulfill a tiny shard of a small dream.
For Marie, who learned to give up as soon as she was born—to believe that nothing would ever change no matter how much she cried, that there was no point in crying—this brief moment was itself an impossible miracle.
Marie was satisfied with that.
That was enough.
Anything more was never meant for her, anyway.
She would let it go without holding on any longer.
Let it drift far, far away—never to return.
Free, unlike me.
Spring has fully arrived in Grimman Before the entrance ceremony, returning students must go back to the Military Academy first.
Spring, which she had longed for so much, had finally arrived, warm and gentle, but Marie still felt cold.
But that was alright.
The little box tucked away in the corner of House Krieger's underground storage room would still be holding the warmth of winter inside.