Uma kept reading, shoulders shaking with silent laughter at just how down-bad Serosa was
'Geez it just keeps going'
"I saw him in his guard gear today I just know that's what he'll be wearing when we get married"
'Not even mad she's confident this is delusional peak'
She flipped again
One line after another like Serosa was trying to manifest a husband through raw ink and desperation
The front door creaked open
Uma didn't look up
Too deep
Too committed
Too entertained
Serosa's voice floated in—calm, warm, completely unaware
"Hey kid we're back"
She rounded the couch with a mug in hand
Spotted Uma curled up in her usual corner with a book in her lap
"Oh you're reading a book good to see you're putting effort into learning"
She took a sip
Took a step
Paused
Head tilted
Double take
Eyes locked
"Wait—that's MY book—"
Uma looked up and gave her that silent, smug, 'guilty as hell' grin
The one that said 'I read your sins and I bookmarked them'
"Give it back you little brat—"
Serosa lunged
Uma yelped, rolled off the couch, hit the floor in a perfect landing, and sprinted for the hallway like a raccoon with a Lunchable
Serosa was right behind her
Full speed
Socks sliding on the floor
Murder in every footstep
Hamron poked his head in just in time to see a pillow fly past his face
"Uh, everything alright I heard—"
"LEAVE" Serosa barked without even looking at him
Uma ducked under a line of towels
Serosa grabbed
Missed
Almost slipped
Caught herself using rage alone
Uma rounded the table, still holding the book like it was a sacred relic
Serosa tried to vault it
Uma stepped aside and let gravity do its job
'This woman wrote smut like it was a prophecy and now she's ready to kill over it'
She grabbed the chalk mid-run
Held up her board while sliding backward as she trained for this
B E
H O N E S T
U
W O U L D
B R E A K
T H E
B E D
Serosa screamed into her hands
Half fury
Half embarrassment
Zero denial
Hamron blinked like he'd wandered into the wrong genre
"Should I—"
"NO" Serosa snapped
She snatched a pillow
Fired it down the hallway
Missed by a whole room and a half
Uma lol
She flipped the page mid-stride like she was settling in for chapter two
Serosa, red as a sunburn, shouted over the chaos
"I raised a devil and gave her literacy!"
Uma dove behind the couch again
Snorting through her nose as she though
'And you're gonna regret both'
It took a while but Serosa finally caught her
Held Uma up by both arms like a cat that'd just knocked over an altar
Face red as a riot
Breath sharp
Hands trembling with betrayal
"Gimmie. The. Book" she growled between clenched teeth
Uma just gave a shrug like she'd never even heard of books
Maybe didn't even believe in them
Who's Serosa
What's a page
"Uma… WHERE'S MY BOOK!"
She flipped Uma upside down like a sack of potatoes and started shaking
A chalk stub fell out
Two marbles
A piece of dried pear
A coin from a game she never learned to play
A slip of paper with "I know what you did last baking day" written in dramatic scribble
But no book
Serosa stood there holding her like a used scroll
"Where. Is. It."
Uma slowly raised one hand
Pointed toward the couch
Serosa dropped her without a word
Uma hit the floor with a soft thud and zero regret
Already writing
S H O U L D
H A V E
L O C K E D
Y O U R
D O O R
S W E E T H E A R T
Serosa stormed toward the couch with the speed of vengeance itself
"Swear to every god in the sky if Hamron ever reads a single word of this I'm going to turn your bones into bookmarks"
Uma, still lying on the floor, just gave a lazy thumbs-up
Chalk raised like a toast
W O R T H
I T
She grinned
And Serosa groaned so loud it scared the birds out of the trees
Uma laid on the floor for a bit longer
Smug
Content
Absolutely zero shame in her bones
Then her eyes flicked up
Like something just short-circuited
'Wait'
She sat up
Scrambled to her feet
Ran off mid-laughter like her brain had just caught a missed deadline
Serosa was still face-down on the couch
Muttering things into the cushions that would get her excommunicated from any temple
One hand covering her eyes
The other gripping her poor diary like it could still be saved
Uma burst back in holding something high over her head like an offering
Paper crinkled
Edges bent
She dropped it onto the table with dramatic flair
Tapped it twice
Then stepped back like she was waiting for a blessing
Serosa didn't move
Didn't even flinch
Just cracked one eye open like it hurt her to do so
Then sat up slowly
Picked up the paper
Read it once
Then looked at Uma
Back to the paper
Then back to Uma
Long silence
Then
Flat
Deadpan
Soul half-departed
"You signed yourself up"
Uma nodded fast
Excited
Serosa stared at her
No rage
No panic
Just that hollow face people make after stepping barefoot on a tack at 3am
"You forged your name"
She said it like she was narrating her own slow descent into madness
"Onto an official document"
She blinked
Then held up the page like it was evidence in a trial she didn't sign up for
"For a mandatory regional training camp that I didn't even want to participate in"
Uma grinned wide
Raised her board without shame
T E C H N I C A L L Y
Y O U
N E E D
4
P E O P L E
Serosa exhaled like someone who's been holding in a scream for a full minute
Folded the paper slowly
Set it down gently
Then buried her face in both hands
"I raised a demon,A mute, Little, Administrative demon"
Uma held up her board again
Y O U ' R E
W E L C O M E
Serosa didn't respond
Just slumped back on the couch
Muttering curses into the void
Uma leaned on the armrest
Grinning like a kid who just got away with grand larceny
'She'll thank me later'
She wouldn't
But Uma would keep pretending she might
Serosa stayed slumped on the couch
Eyes dead
Spirit gone
Face mashed into a throw pillow like it owed her silence
She let out a long wheeze of defeat
Then said in the voice of someone who just lost a war
"The cart comes in a week"
Uma lit up
Didn't even try to hide it
She gave the most enthusiastic double thumbs-up Serosa had ever seen
Bounced once on her heels
Then skipped out of the room like she was being lifted by pure serotonin
Not a care in the world
Already humming a tune that didn't exist
Serosa didn't look up
Didn't say another word
Just pulled the pillow over her head and whispered into the couch
"…gods help the other kids in that camp"
From down the hall
a distant clatter
and the sound of a very smug, very happy ghost flopping onto her bed with violent glee
Uma
victorious
was asleep in seconds