I already knew she had heard about what my mother and I had talked about, so I didn't have to act like it was all simple. Since she knew the "truth" I had created, I just had to multiply the guilt she felt. And what better way to do that than by reminding her about how she had almost killed me earlier, so the memory of what she had done would remain fresh in her mind.
Celeste, hearing what her brother said, bit her lip—not out of anger, but out of disappointment for what she had done. She finally said, "I didn't know what came over me."
Seeing that was her reply, and that she hadn't apologized straight away, I knew she still didn't fully accept responsibility. I needed to make her feel more deeply guilty. I needed to break her like I had broken my mother, but this time, I would make sure to leave a mark. She would become so afraid to even hurt me that just thinking about it would make her remember what she had done earlier.
So I turned to Aurora, and it seemed she understood what I was about to do.
"I'll just leave you two alone for a bit," she said, moving toward the door. "I should check with the healer about tomorrow's medicine anyway."
I acted like I was skeptical about her leaving me and my sister together, so I said, "Wait, I think you need to sta—"
But my sister cut me off, saying, "That will be a great idea."
To my sister, it seemed like I was avoiding talking to her, but the truth was that all of this was an act to heighten her desire to patch things up with me. After Aurora left, Celeste approached slowly, setting the food tray on the bedside table.
"Can you... can you sit up to eat?" she asked.
"Not hungry," I replied. "You can just drop it down, and I'll eat it later."
She didn't reply. Instead, she came to my side of the bed and held my hands. I tried to struggle while making painful noises, as if my body was still hurt.
Then she asked, "Lucian, do you hate me?"
On this point, I don't really feel hatred for anyone, nor do I despise anyone. The negative emotions I feel are directed toward myself, because I don't want to be played with, controlled, or neglected the way everything turned out in my life back on Earth. But I still needed to play a very typical role here, so I acted by looking away, not directly at her.
"Yes, I hate you," I said. "There, you have it. I killed Father, so you have to hate me too."
I made it seem like I was forcing myself to say it, making my voice shaky and letting my body tremble, as if the lie I was telling her was hurting me. She squeezed my hands a bit tighter. Then I continued, "Why are you in my room anyway? You can just drop the food. I don't want to see you around me. Even if I can't see, I don't want to feel you around me at all. And I said I hate you—you should hate me too for what I did to Father."
She didn't reply. After a while, she said, "I heard what you said to Mother earlier. About taking the blame for Father's death so I could hate you and move on."
I made myself look tense, so I asked with a shaky voice, "What did you hear?"
She noticed my trembling body, then said, "Everything."
So I kept quiet. After that, I changed my gaze to look somewhere else, acting like I was afraid to look at her.
Then she asked, "Why? Why did you do all of it?"
I kept quiet. Then she yelled, "Answer me, please!"
By now, I could already hear her sobbing. I knew I had her where I wanted her, so I said, "Maybe you heard it wrong."
I still needed to keep up the act, as if what I did didn't matter. Then she held my hands tighter before saying, "Lucian, please answer me. Why? I want to know why."
Seeing that I had already achieved the first phase of the plan, I moved to the next phase. So I said with a low voice, "I couldn't bear to see the look on your face. I didn't want you to go through what I went through, so I made you hate me. I didn't try to justify what happened. I thought if you hate me and pour out all that anger you have towards me, you won't have to face the reality that Dad was gone."
"I was so scared of losing you too. I was so scared of you giving up, because I know how much you cherished Dad. I didn't want you to change into a different person. I didn't want to give up on my big sister." I started to sob. "I wanted to be with you no matter what happened, even if it meant you killing me out of anger. You deserved the best."
"I know how you have been concerned because of me having Dad's bloodline of a druid. I know how you took care of me even when I did bad things; you corrected me. I know you were jealous, but you still loved me as a brother. You were always happy playing with me."
"I didn't want to take away that smile. I know the look I saw on your face when you found out that Dad was dead. It was so disheartened, it felt like my whole world collapsed. I blamed myself. I wished it was you they had given birth to as a druid, not me. I was so frustrated. If only I had been born human, none of this would have happened."
"I know it wasn't my fault that Dad died, but I just wanted you to hold onto that anger and grow stronger. I want you to always hate me, so I had to do all that."
By now, her sobs were so loud I knew whatever I said had really gotten to her. She was already crying, so I stretched my hands to hold her and pull her towards me. Since I was on the bed, she came and sat beside me while I adjusted so she could rest her head on my chest. I made some painful sounds, as if my injuries were hurting—I had to make everything look real. I kept patting her while she was crying.
Then she looked up and asked, "Is it true? Did you really sacrifice yourself for me? When the kidnappers came..."
I turned my face away, as if the memory pained me. "It doesn't matter now."
"It matters to me!" she exclaimed while crying, looking straight at me. "All this time, I've blamed you for everything. I've hated you, resented you, and now I find out you've been protecting me all along? What happened that day, Lucian? Tell me the truth."
(Celeste POV)
Celeste couldn't believe what she was hearing. All this time, she had directed her pain and anger at her brother, blaming him for their father's death. She had treated him with disdain and resentment, and now to discover that he had willingly taken this burden upon himself for her sake... it was overwhelming.
As she looked at his bandaged face—injuries that she herself had inflicted—guilt washed over her like a tidal wave. How could she have been so blind? So cruel? The memories of her fists connecting with his face again and again made her feel physically ill.
And yet, even now, he was trying to comfort her. Despite everything she had done, he was the one consoling her, his hand gently patting her back as she cried against his chest.
"Please," she begged through her tears. "Tell me what really happened that day. I need to know."
I sighed deeply, then spoke in a measured tone. "We were in the forest, near the druid settlement. You'd wandered off to look at some rare flowers, and I followed to bring you back. That's when they ambushed us—three men in dark cloaks. They wanted one of us, said something about needing 'young noble blood' for some ritual."
Of course, most of what the previous inhabitant of this body remembered was blurred, but from the memories, I at least knew where we had been. I was surprised that Celeste didn't seem to remember, and also that my mother somehow knew about it. I paused, allowing tension to build, then continued.