When it comes to screams, everyone has heard them before. Be it because they remember screaming as a baby to get a parent's attention or simply overheard it. They have a few characteristics: loud, attention grabbing, and a few other things.
Those are just normal screams, while most would say that's the only kind there is, there is one more type only few have heard. The guttural desperate cries from the soul that is reserved for the dying or those wishing for death. It's a scream that sticks to you like tar, practically ringing in your ears.
I sat bolt upright on the makeshift bed we had been given. Cold sweat caking my back as I looked down to my shaking hands, flashes of holding Kaelen down as I sawed pierced my mind as I tried to get control of my breathing. Ms. Oxhouse had been kind enough to give us a room to stay in after what happened. I turned to where Kaelen laid. After the cut I had used almost all of my cofrail to make some healing poultice to apply to the nub.
The pain was clearly still holding Kaelen as even as he prayed in the afternoon, I saw him try to use his now missing arm to stand and fall over painfully on the nub. I got up from where I was laying down and looked over our group. Selene seemed to be trying to sleep, but at the same time I could see by the rising and falling of her chest she was failing. Thalia was also there, but she also seemed to be having trouble sleeping, however looking for Liora and Jax I couldn't find them anywhere. Getting up, I made my way over to the door where I stepped outside. Our vehicle was parked there just outside a large red barn. In the fields the grass gently stirred as the animals had been brought inside for the night.
I glanced around to see if anyone was watching before I turned to the path that lead around the barn. It was a simple path, just around half a mile long that lead around a field and back to the front of the house. I had walked it earlier today trying to gather my thoughts after we had buried the father and sons bodys. As I walked a yawn came from my head.
"Why exactly are we moving? Isn't like the middle of the night?"
"I couldn't sleep."
I said matter of factly as I began my walk.
"Why, you made it, you even got one over on the blood sucker, so what's the problem?"
The way the voice said it was so casual I wanted to grab them and shake them.
"The problem is I had to saw my friends arm off despite knowing how much pain they were in. The problem is that we have tried exactly 3 things as adventurers, and two have failed with us almost dying. The problem is that I can't figure out what to do to help because all I can do is make potions, and there are no herbs to gather, no special recipes I can make to help, I AM BASICALLY DEAD FUCKING WEIGHT!!"
I yelled, my voice echoing in the night. The voice in my head was silent for a moment before it asked.
"Thats what went wrong, what went right?"
I practically wheeled around. What did it mean went right? Everything had been going to hell in a handbasket!
"Nothing went right, everything went to shit!"
I said, rage tinting my voice as the voice in my head didn't respond. I waited for a good ten seconds before I yelled.
"What, decide to go back to bed!?"
"No, I'm just waiting for you to give me a reply."
The voice said with a calmness that made me move before I knew what I was doing. My fist struck the nearby fence as a bit of blood ran down my knuckles as I hissed.
"Nothing has gone right, NOTHING!"
"Quit feeling sorry for yourself you overgrown child, if you think you have done nothing right then why did the ash spirits thank you, why did you return the bodies to their family, WHY DID YOU SAVE THOSE 3 ADVENTURERS!!"
The voice practically shook my head as I stood for a moment of stunned silence. My head drifting to the house where the sleeping forms of Afimaril, Straun, and Sena all laid sleeping. I took a seat with my back against the fence post as I whisper quiet enough that only I could hear as tears rolled down my face.
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
"Your biggest problem at the moment is the fact that you can't fight, so practice, punch a tree, run laps, do something."
The voice said with a bit of annoyance in its tone.
"I don't have any combat skills; I don't have any way to attack or defend. I can make things, and I can't even do that enough."
"Oh, for the love of-. If you really want to think about what would have happened if you weren't here then fine. Let's run through it. Jax would have died to the ash spirit on his first encounter, but let's say that he somehow lived for argument's sake. The group would have been caught by the Blood Trent before they even knew what their real threat was, but let's say they got lucky! Without you Selene wouldn't have joined and Jax couldn't tank alone! Hell lets skip the whole Blood Trent thing and look at today why don't we. Kaelen and Liora would have died from those arrows in the dungeon because nobody else had a way to cure them. You don't get to have a pity party! Jax does because he got stabbed through the back and passed out from blood loss hoping everyone lived, Kaelen does because he got his arm cut off. Liora does because she tried and her attempt to contribute to the fight failed! You are basically their last wheel to stand on right now, so if you want to pity and mope then let me control the body and you can find a dark corner!"
The speech it gave was like getting hit in the face. It was right, had I not been there, the party would have had more problems than solutions. However, what caught in my mind was another thought.
"Little me in my head, what exactly are you?"
There was a moment of silence before I heard what sounded akin to a facepalm.
"I'm a living train of thought, born from the thought you had when you obtained the skill."
I thought back to when I had been face to face with my double in my mind when a weird thought crossed my mind.
"Wait, your what happens when a train of thought gains consciousness, does that mean you have a thought you originated from?"
"Yep, I am born from your thought of There must be a way out of this, I just need to think"
We both were silent for a moment.
"Ok, we need to give you a shorter name."
"Yes please."