"Aww how touching…"
Old Man Li was seated calmly at a Yumcha table, where he was currently talking shop with his old comrade, Sir Thierry Touchealot.
Old Man Li had just recounted Bob's achievements, relating the tale of his 'latest and greatest' (and - only - though of course he sidestepped this insignificant point) disciple's ascension to C++++ grade and even more recently, B+++++ grade genetic quality in glowing terms - causing Touchealot to utter these warm words.
Thierry Touchealot was an experienced member of the Endless Knights of Wild Delight, a faction that had made it their most noble and honorable mission to take the sacred Art of Touch to the highest level.
He stroked his chin as he caressed and assessed the situation in front of him.
"So, Old Li, what you're saying is, now that Bob has turned 18, you want him to learn not only about the Art of Rizz, but now also the Art of Touch?!"
"I know that it is a more specialized discipline, but still it is necessary in order to maximise his genetic potential as a prodigy in The Art of Rizz. The more skills he learns, the better.
Sir Touchealot closed his eyes and pinched his forehead with his forefinger and thumb as he considered, before thumping the table with an reverberating
*Bang!!!*
Thus causing two large glistening steamed buns to wibble and wobble rather pleasingly on their plates, before leaning back on his chair, whipping out a fan, and blowing himself
with one hand from the air current, whilst his other hand began teasing a triangular corner of the pure, white tablecloth between several skilled fingers, a well mastered motion to calm himself. (At this point author wondered if he should actually sound out that last sentence again, but dismissed it with a sip of 'she'll be right'. "Nah… yeah, no problem. Yeah no worries mate, It's probably fine.")
Indeed, Touchealot was none other than a legend at the same level as Old Man Li, albeit in a different and yet complementary field -
a TouchMaster! (TM)
Owing to the incessant offensive campaigns waged by their sworn enemies, the Political Correctness Movement - headed by the nefarious Captain Karen Killjoy - the legendary and lovable Touchmasters had been scolded like henpecked chickens into hiding, resulting in the sealing of not only their mountain gates, but also many other kinds of gateways and… passages that otherwise yearned to be entered, in an attempt to survive in this cruel and confusing world.
All this had led to a steep decline in humanity's overall dopamine and partner satisfaction levels on a global level, a grim and dark matter which would be of course tackled later on in the plot.*
* 🤔🙄
"Dammit Li!!! Do you even know what you're saying!!!?!?!"
Old Thierry, in his agitation, went back to touching himself
on the half-shaven stubble of his chin area as he continued. Hmm… It felt nice, in a prickly, fuzzy-wuzzy kind of way, he thought. (This was of course his natural childhood training coming into play, as a Touchmaster had to be sensitive to all manner of tactile textures).
Nevertheless, they knew the history.
"There is a reason why our venerable patriarchs, the first Masters of Rizz and Masters of Touch, decided to split the inheritance of their GrandMaster's Divine-Level Gigachad Arts into two !!!"
Old Man Li nodded. Ah yes. He and Thierry were good friends who had fought back to back, against the odds, in the good old days against countless foes, all solely for the purpose of today, so that they could now use their righteous sense of sworn brotherhood at this critical moment as yet another way to add further passion and hype to the story.
Touchealot's voice tremored with emotion as he continued.
"If one person were to get their hands on not only the Manuals of the Art of Rizz, but also the Art of Touch…"
He clutched at the sleeves of Old Man Li's bathrobes in a sudden burst of drama.
"…W-We, we could create a monster!"
He uttered in a terrified, awed whisper.
Eh. Old Man Li casually picked his nose and flicked it. He knew Touchealot too well.
"So yes? You'll help?"
Touchealot grinned as he dropped the act.
"Of course, Old Li. Let's do it."
Thierry tried to pat Li on the shoulder in a friendly gesture, which Old Man Li expertly avoided.
"You old devil, don't touch me with those hands!"
The two degenerate old men clinked their cups and laughed loudly, overtly disturbing the rest of the restaurant goers.
Hahahahahahagahah!!!!!?!($(!Hahahabahahagahah!!!!!!!)!(!;&
Horhotjotjohothorjotjot!!!!!
Hehidjkhrjrhehrueyrjrhrhr!!!!
*overlapping laughing noises*
Various parents, aunties and uncles quickly ushered their kids away from the madness.